This started out as a means of staying sane during the long downtime hours on world's most awful job, then it was something to entertain my girlfriend with. She's a massive Adventure Time fan and got me watching the show, which got me back to writing fanfic. Wow but it's been a while since I did something fandom based. I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labour!

So it goes without saying that this is heavily AU and therefore the character relationships you're used to in canon may well not apply. For example, a character may end up with a sibling relationship rather than a romantic relationship with someone, or a parent/child relationship rather than a friendship. I don't own any of the characters you recognise, if you're not sure who the hell someone is then chances are I made them up. Writing OCs is surprisingly fun and yes one of them is based on my own dad. Try to guess which, it's actually not difficult.

***Content Warning: If you are uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of same sex relationships then this is not the fic for you. There will also be a fair amount of swearing, violence and some murder in this story as well as a lot of people falling asleep. Idk I just use that plot device a lot. *Shrugs* Also bear in mind that at the time of posting (July 2015) the miniseries hasn't been released and it may well render half of what I've written obsolete. I thought about not posting for that reason but I still want to share this anyway, so if it doesn't match what's been established as canon then just read it as an AU.

Still here? Awesome. Don't forget to leave a review, authors live for the crumbs of approval you throw them. Enjoy!

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"Mom?"

His voice was quiet, almost timid, but there was no way she'd have missed it; not even if she'd been sleeping like the dead. It was one of the four voices her sensitive ears were always straining to listen for, always with the nagging fear in the back of her mind that one day those voices could be calling for her full of pain or hurt.

She sighed and carefully placed the book she'd been reading on to the top of the night stand, sitting straighter to face her youngest son. Of course she'd known the instant he entered the room but she'd been so engrossed in her reading that she'd allowed him to think he'd sneaked up on her until he spoke. He seemed vaguely disappointed; probably that he'd not managed to make her jump. Joke's on you, little man. Nothing makes me jump.

Cool eyes assessed the boy standing at the edge of her bed. He was hesitant and fidgety, nibbling his bottom lip a little; a nervous gesture he'd picked up from her. She'd always been able to read him with a glance and from the looks of things he wasn't here to confess eating the last of her strawberries again. It was a serious conversation that was on his mind and for one horrifying moment she wondered if they were about to have The Talk. It felt like just yesterday he was running around in a diaper, surely it wasn't quite time for the birds and bees? Where had all the time gone, those ten years that had rushed past when she wasn't looking? But she forced her face to relax into gentle lines and used her softest voice, the way she might if coaxing an injured animal.

"So what's up, little guy? You look like you want to ask me something pretty big; is there something bothering you?" She tilted her head a little, still gazing intently at him as she gestured for him to sit at end of the bed.

He smiled his handsome smile and plopped himself down onto the mattress across from her, crossed legged and trying very hard to look casual. It was sweet really, the way he was trying to act so cool, but he was fooling nobody. Especially not the woman who'd raised him. He fidgeted with the ends of his waist length braid and twirled the long hair over and over between his fingers nervously. It made her nervous too, he was usually so boisterous and carefree. Normally he was dressed every inch the perfect little gentleman but he was wearing one of his godfather's old shirts today, belted at the waist like a tunic although on the giant man it would have been more like a muscle vest; she presumed he'd been outside playing with his siblings and not wanted to get his nice clothes dirty. Distractedly she wondered where he'd gotten that kind of neatness from; certainly it wasn't one of her defining features. He smelled like sunshine and trees and sweat, like the kind of gloriously carefree childhood days she'd always wanted him to have. It was good to know he was happy, good to know she hadn't messed everything up the way she'd been so terrified of doing at first. She snagged a stray leaf from his hair and he smiled sheepishly.

"Can I have a hug?"

He whispered the words in embarrassment but before they were even fully out of his mouth she was stretching out her arms, letting him scoot across the bed and snuggle up close, resting his head on her shoulder. It wasn't like him to seek out this kind of close comfort; with puberty breathing hard down his neck he was suddenly shy of expressions of parental affection. It made her worry for him but she could feel the steady pulse of his heart under his tanned skin and feel that he was relaxing as she held him; it couldn't be anything too awful. She waited patiently for him to speak but he just held on, sighing a little.

"Is something bothering you, honey?" she asked again, pressing a light kiss to his hair.

"Well it's uhh- I don't want you to be angry."

"Little man, I promise I will never be angry with you for something you didn't do on purpose. Did someone upset you?"

He shook his head no, pressing his warm face against the skin of her neck and taking a calming breath. She tried not to be frustrated with the worry she felt for him; what had gotten her usually rowdy son so quiet and thoughtful?

"Wanted to ask you a question." he finally mumbled in embarrassment. She could feel the heat of his blush radiating into her skin.

She considered the options for what that question could be and oh yes this was definitely headed for a birds and bees kind of conversation, wasn't it? She cringed internally; she always figured she'd have more time for this sort of thing, he was only just eleven! But he was growing fast and she supposed it was better to have it out of the way before puberty really kicked in. Right then, birds and bees. Sex stuff. She tried to compose herself because being awkward and making a big deal out of it wouldn't do either of them any favours. She just hoped that the first thing out of his mouth was not going to be something about herself and her own intimate experiences; she wasn't comfortable sharing that with him.

"Well," she eventually managed to reply in a calm voice, "unless that question is about the best way to hurt someone or do something you know is wrong, you can ask me anything and you know I'll be honest with you. I promise."

He nodded against her shoulder and shivered a little, it must be a pretty scary question for him to be afraid she'd be angry. But angry about sex questions? Why would he think I'd be angry about that? She frowned to herself and let her hand rest against his long silky hair. Perhaps it wasn't about sex after all. If anyone has hurt my boy there'll be hell to pay.

He was still trying to find his words, eyes downcast and suddenly terribly interested in the muck under his fingernails. She was aware of two more faces peeping around the corner of the bedroom door and motioned them forward with a knowing and relieved smile. Of course they were all here, they never went anywhere alone if they could help it. But it was reassuring; how much trouble could he be in if he was with his brother and sister?

"Come on then guys, I should have known you'd all be in this together."

She patted the quilt invitingly and was unable to suppress a grin when she realised that the other two had probably put him up to asking whatever it was and risking her wrath rather than asking themselves. Little monsters; their brother was far too much a gentleman to say no to them. Maybe he'd been pranked into it, or possibly lost a bet, but most likely they'd just told him to go ask her. When she thought about how else things might have panned out she came to the conclusion that they hadn't raised such a shabby family, all things considered. The other two wrestled in the doorway for a second over who would enter first until her confident little daughter caught her elder brother in a headlock and shoved him back, only muttering a sullen and completely dishonest apology when she caught the stern look her mother was giving her. They settled on the bed next to their younger brother, two boys and a girl, all with identical little blue gems on a chain around their necks. Two little princes and a princess.

The girl turned her fierce eyes on her younger brother and when he still didn't spit his question out she elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"Mom. Uh. We were talking about it last night, ah, and we think we're old enough now. Especially- well, you know. I'm old enough too." He added it uncertainly, rubbing the side of his neck self consciously exactly the same way she did when she felt kinda dumb. When had he started copying her gestures? She'd not really noticed he did that before but he'd probably been doing it for years, probably didn't even realise he was mirroring her. "You said once we felt old enough handle the upsetting parts we could hear it all. And we think we are." The others nodded in consensus, straining to look solemn and very grown up. She bit back another smile. "I know we've talked about it before, but will you tell us about how it all happened? And after? We wanted to hear it again from the beginning without any of the sad or nasty parts left out."

Ah. Yeah it was gonna be a long and hard conversation. But thank Glob at least there would be no awkward sex questions unless the story got very much out of her control, she could breathe easily about that for at least a little while longer. Settling her hands in her lap she surveyed the three curious faces staring intently at her. Considered. Tried so hard to maintain responsible adult status but it was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

"So far as I remember it, I was in the woods one night. You all know what a keen gardener I am; I was watering my prize winning cabbages when the biggest cabbage of all popped open and out fell three little babies-"

"Mom!" three outraged voices howled in unison. "Tell it properly!"

"Ok, ok! No cabbages! And no storks." She let her impish grin fade a little as she considered what it was they were asking to hear. All of it. Even the really ugly parts, even the parts where she'd acted like a spoiled drama queen. Even when people had been hurt, died. There wasn't any way around those parts and they deserved to know the truth about where they came from. It was not going to be an easy story to tell.

"You guys will have to bear with me for some of it though, even if it was years ago it's still pretty upsetting for me. Especially when I thought I was never going to see you again. And it's a long story."

She paused to let the impact of her words soak in. Her daughter was frowning, looking genuinely solemn; if she knew her impulsive little girl at all then she'd not even spared a thought that anyone else might be upset by the story. Her eldest son had his characteristic sensitive look in place, brows furrowed a little and an arm stretched protectively across each of his siblings' shoulders as though he could snatch them back and protect them if the words got too harsh for their delicate young ears. He'd always been so protective, they were lucky to have such a wonderful brother. Her youngest was biting his lip and nodding, straining to appear as mature as possible in case she decided he was still too young to hear it all. She tried her hardest not to laugh; it made him look a little constipated rather than grown up. But he was growing, despite being the youngest he was growing up fast and he did deserve to know how he came to be who he was. They all did. She nodded, decision made. Almost in a way glad they'd come to her to hear it, she was less likely to get lost in a tangent while explaining. She let her ears tune into the somewhat frenzied scratch of a pen from the study next door; with the speed it was moving she was confident that they'd only be interrupted if there was some kind of natural disaster or the roof caved in or something. That was good, she didn't want to have to go back to the start and explain again.

"Ok. Alright. We'll do this like we did when you guys were little, yeah? I think it'll be easier for us all to hear it if it's part of a bedtime story. So. Just like bedtimes?"

They nodded, three eager smiles back in place. They were just waiting for their cue now and for a moment she could almost see them all as little toddlers again, eyes wide and awed as she described dragons and mermaids and knights. The bedtime ritual they'd all become so used to came easily, words flowing from her lips like she'd never stopped speaking them every single night.

"Ok kids, get your butts settled and get ready to listen as hard as you can. What time is it?"

"Story Time!"

They all yelled it together. Until they'd decided en masse that they were far too old for stories they'd done this every single night, it had always been the highlight of her day. Story Time had been about good heroes and evil monsters, sometimes about good monsters who were really heroes, about how people became families and how important it was to be good to each other. So this wasn't really outside of the remit of Story Time, it pretty much had all of those things at some point or another.

"You know it all started over ten years ago. I wasn't the person I am now, so please just remember that when we get to the parts of the story where I act like a total buttface, yeah? I was a mess. You would barely recognise me, except that I look exactly the same. But I was directionless and angry and I was probably the moodiest and most immature person you could be unfortunate enough to meet. And of course I was alone, I'd donked up the only relationship I'd ever cared about."

They all nodded to show they'd understood and her eldest son took her hand and briefly squeezed it, offering his emotional support if it all got too much for her. Such a kind, sensitive boy. She smiled at him before returning to the story.

She closed her eyes for a second and let the words come as they would, thinking back with perfect clarity to the very beginning of it all.

"It was a dark night. Not stormy, it'd been pretty nice weather for a while before. It was the middle of a particularly warm summer; I remember that there'd been so many hot sunny days and so little rain folk had begun worrying about forest fires..."