Disclaimer: Math 101: Star Trek + me = no ownership. Nathan, Rachel, and I
own ourselves, our computers, our phones, and our dogs. Some names and
locations are changed. I am making no profit off this.
The Enterprise had once again gone through some bizarre time-travel phenomena, this time landing them on April 18, 2004. The bridge crew agreed not to beam down to the surface and cause more problems. However, that made for one very big problem- they were all extremely bored.
"Jim, let us do something besides sit here and watch Earth spin," Bones complained.
"And what do you suggest we do? Listen in on someone's phone conversation?" Kirk asked sarcastically. Unfortunately for him, Bones did not take it as sarcasm.
"Sounds fun!" the doctor said, looking slightly perkier. "Spock, can you tap in to some random person's phone conversation?"
"I can, Doctor, but that would be like interfering and breaking the Prime Directive because it is interfering with the way of life these twenty-first century humans-"
"Spock, shut up and do it," Kirk groaned. "It will be better than Bones' griping anyway."
"Yes, Captain," Spock said. "I am picking up a signal from a house in the American state of North Carolina. On screen." A moment later, the face of a blonde teenager appeared. She was seated at a laptop and was holding a blue phone up to her ear.
"Attractive girl," Kirk commented. Bones groaned. A moment later the screen split in two and a black-haired woman appeared with a considerably plainer phone held up to her ear.
"Hello?" she said, in the standard greeting Americans had been using for centuries.
"Hello, Mrs. Black. I was wondering if Nathan is there?" the blonde girl said.
"Just a minute, Stephanie," Mrs. Black replied. She went into a boy's bedroom and gave the phone to that boy, who was also seated at a computer.
"Hello Stephanie," Nathan said without asking who it was.
"Hang on two seconds- let me get Rachel on the line," Stephanie told him.
"Noooooooo!" Nathan said jokingly, but he allowed the girl to call Rachel. A moment later the screen split into three parts to reveal a brunette girl, who, unsurprisingly, was seated at a computer.
"Is surfing the internet all teenagers do?" Bones said loudly.
"I seem to remember you often put aside your homework at the academy to do frivolous computer activities," Spock commented with a raised eyebrow. McCoy wisely chose not to respond.
"Hi!" Rachel said, a cheerful variation on the monotonous "hello."
"Hi," Stephanie and Nathan responded.
"Whatcha doing?" Rachel asked.
"FFN, though I should typing that evil literature paper," Stephanie said at once.
"FII forums," Nathan said. Apparently those were the standard responses, for Rachel looked as though she already knew them.
"And of course, you are on kimpossible.com," Stephanie laughed.
"How did you ever guess?" Rachel cried in mock shock.
"I am psychic?" Stephanie suggested. All three teenagers laughed.
"I hate inside jokes when I am not inside," Bones kept up his usual commentary.
"That is my role!" Rachel said "I sense that you will someday marry Nathan..." she said in a pretend mysterious voice.
"In your dreams, kiddo!" Nathan said. Overlapping him, Stephanie said, "No way! Every sane being knows I am going to marry Spock!" There was momentary panic on the bridge while all the crewmembers turned to look at Spock, whose only response was the typical raised eyebrow.
"Don't get her started on Spock again!" Nathan moaned.
"It has got to be a different Spock," Kirk reassured his best friend. "Everyone knows that all blondes like me. It is equivalent to Scotty's laws of physics!"
"You mean Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skon, son of Solkar, the half human, half Vulcan Starfleet officer with the serial number S179-276SP?" Stephanie asked teasingly.
"Damn, she is talking about you," Kirk said. "She was too young for me anyway."
"She. Memorized. Your. Serial number!!!!?????" Bones screeched.
"That would appear to be the most logical conclusion," Spock said calmly. "But I am wondering- how do these children know of me and Starfleet?"
"Ummmm..." was the response of the bridge crew.
"You got her started," Nathan muttered.
"He was born in Shi'Kahr, Vulcan, in 2230," Stephanie calmly recited. He is the son of Vulcan ambassador Sarek and human schoolteacher Amanda Grayson. He has one half-brother Sybok..."
"You do?" Kirk asked.
"Yes," Spock said. "The son of my father and his first wife, a Vulcan princess," he and Stephanie recited together.
"Think of me, think of me fondly after we've said gooooood byeeeeeeeee!" Nathan sang.
"Alright, I will shut up, just quit sing Phantom of the Opera!" Stephanie screeched.
"He is a first soprano?" Kirk said wonderingly.
"That would appear to be accurate," Spock said as he watched Nathan twirl in his swivel chair.
"Bad word you," Stephanie said just loud enough for all to hear.
"Why doesn't she just say 'damn' or something?" Bones asked.
"Why don't you just say... something?" Rachel asked. She seemed to have some remarkable similarities to McCoy. "You do often enough on MSN Messenger with me."
"That is with you, Rachel. I would not want to damage the ears of cute, wittle, itty-bitty first-grade Na-"
"You should never have shown her my first grade yearbook, Rachel," Nathan said.
"Another inside joke?" Kirk asked.
"I sincerely hope so," Bones responded.
"What!? You were very cute in first grade!" Stephanie protested.
"And he isn't now?" Rachel teased.
"Shut up. Though you, that one picture you have hanging on your wall by the kitchen-"
"Stephanie..." Nathan said.
"And that one you sent me on the computer..."
"That one was only taken a few months ago!"
"Does that matter to the cuteness factor?"
"You are way too bold, Stephanie," Rachel laughed.
"Oh fine!" she snapped. "I will return to staring at this picture of Spock" (she indicated a photo of the Enterprise bridge crew taped to her desk) "and long for the day when we shall meet. Oh Spock, would that we could be together on this moonlight night..."
"You got her started again," Nathan said.
"I did!? You were the one who was arguing about male cuteness-"Rachel and Nathan bickered while Stephanie when on and on about romance.
"You bored yet?" Bones asked.
"Do not stop it!" Uhura cried. "What a touching scene she is reciting!"
"I have an idea!" Kirk announced. "How about we beam them up and discuss this weirdness with them!"
"Oh no..." Bones muttered as Spock began giving coordinates to Scotty. The entire bridge crew did not know if they would ever come alive out of this experience...
R&R please!
The Enterprise had once again gone through some bizarre time-travel phenomena, this time landing them on April 18, 2004. The bridge crew agreed not to beam down to the surface and cause more problems. However, that made for one very big problem- they were all extremely bored.
"Jim, let us do something besides sit here and watch Earth spin," Bones complained.
"And what do you suggest we do? Listen in on someone's phone conversation?" Kirk asked sarcastically. Unfortunately for him, Bones did not take it as sarcasm.
"Sounds fun!" the doctor said, looking slightly perkier. "Spock, can you tap in to some random person's phone conversation?"
"I can, Doctor, but that would be like interfering and breaking the Prime Directive because it is interfering with the way of life these twenty-first century humans-"
"Spock, shut up and do it," Kirk groaned. "It will be better than Bones' griping anyway."
"Yes, Captain," Spock said. "I am picking up a signal from a house in the American state of North Carolina. On screen." A moment later, the face of a blonde teenager appeared. She was seated at a laptop and was holding a blue phone up to her ear.
"Attractive girl," Kirk commented. Bones groaned. A moment later the screen split in two and a black-haired woman appeared with a considerably plainer phone held up to her ear.
"Hello?" she said, in the standard greeting Americans had been using for centuries.
"Hello, Mrs. Black. I was wondering if Nathan is there?" the blonde girl said.
"Just a minute, Stephanie," Mrs. Black replied. She went into a boy's bedroom and gave the phone to that boy, who was also seated at a computer.
"Hello Stephanie," Nathan said without asking who it was.
"Hang on two seconds- let me get Rachel on the line," Stephanie told him.
"Noooooooo!" Nathan said jokingly, but he allowed the girl to call Rachel. A moment later the screen split into three parts to reveal a brunette girl, who, unsurprisingly, was seated at a computer.
"Is surfing the internet all teenagers do?" Bones said loudly.
"I seem to remember you often put aside your homework at the academy to do frivolous computer activities," Spock commented with a raised eyebrow. McCoy wisely chose not to respond.
"Hi!" Rachel said, a cheerful variation on the monotonous "hello."
"Hi," Stephanie and Nathan responded.
"Whatcha doing?" Rachel asked.
"FFN, though I should typing that evil literature paper," Stephanie said at once.
"FII forums," Nathan said. Apparently those were the standard responses, for Rachel looked as though she already knew them.
"And of course, you are on kimpossible.com," Stephanie laughed.
"How did you ever guess?" Rachel cried in mock shock.
"I am psychic?" Stephanie suggested. All three teenagers laughed.
"I hate inside jokes when I am not inside," Bones kept up his usual commentary.
"That is my role!" Rachel said "I sense that you will someday marry Nathan..." she said in a pretend mysterious voice.
"In your dreams, kiddo!" Nathan said. Overlapping him, Stephanie said, "No way! Every sane being knows I am going to marry Spock!" There was momentary panic on the bridge while all the crewmembers turned to look at Spock, whose only response was the typical raised eyebrow.
"Don't get her started on Spock again!" Nathan moaned.
"It has got to be a different Spock," Kirk reassured his best friend. "Everyone knows that all blondes like me. It is equivalent to Scotty's laws of physics!"
"You mean Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skon, son of Solkar, the half human, half Vulcan Starfleet officer with the serial number S179-276SP?" Stephanie asked teasingly.
"Damn, she is talking about you," Kirk said. "She was too young for me anyway."
"She. Memorized. Your. Serial number!!!!?????" Bones screeched.
"That would appear to be the most logical conclusion," Spock said calmly. "But I am wondering- how do these children know of me and Starfleet?"
"Ummmm..." was the response of the bridge crew.
"You got her started," Nathan muttered.
"He was born in Shi'Kahr, Vulcan, in 2230," Stephanie calmly recited. He is the son of Vulcan ambassador Sarek and human schoolteacher Amanda Grayson. He has one half-brother Sybok..."
"You do?" Kirk asked.
"Yes," Spock said. "The son of my father and his first wife, a Vulcan princess," he and Stephanie recited together.
"Think of me, think of me fondly after we've said gooooood byeeeeeeeee!" Nathan sang.
"Alright, I will shut up, just quit sing Phantom of the Opera!" Stephanie screeched.
"He is a first soprano?" Kirk said wonderingly.
"That would appear to be accurate," Spock said as he watched Nathan twirl in his swivel chair.
"Bad word you," Stephanie said just loud enough for all to hear.
"Why doesn't she just say 'damn' or something?" Bones asked.
"Why don't you just say... something?" Rachel asked. She seemed to have some remarkable similarities to McCoy. "You do often enough on MSN Messenger with me."
"That is with you, Rachel. I would not want to damage the ears of cute, wittle, itty-bitty first-grade Na-"
"You should never have shown her my first grade yearbook, Rachel," Nathan said.
"Another inside joke?" Kirk asked.
"I sincerely hope so," Bones responded.
"What!? You were very cute in first grade!" Stephanie protested.
"And he isn't now?" Rachel teased.
"Shut up. Though you, that one picture you have hanging on your wall by the kitchen-"
"Stephanie..." Nathan said.
"And that one you sent me on the computer..."
"That one was only taken a few months ago!"
"Does that matter to the cuteness factor?"
"You are way too bold, Stephanie," Rachel laughed.
"Oh fine!" she snapped. "I will return to staring at this picture of Spock" (she indicated a photo of the Enterprise bridge crew taped to her desk) "and long for the day when we shall meet. Oh Spock, would that we could be together on this moonlight night..."
"You got her started again," Nathan said.
"I did!? You were the one who was arguing about male cuteness-"Rachel and Nathan bickered while Stephanie when on and on about romance.
"You bored yet?" Bones asked.
"Do not stop it!" Uhura cried. "What a touching scene she is reciting!"
"I have an idea!" Kirk announced. "How about we beam them up and discuss this weirdness with them!"
"Oh no..." Bones muttered as Spock began giving coordinates to Scotty. The entire bridge crew did not know if they would ever come alive out of this experience...
R&R please!