Hello there, readers! To those who don't already know me on this site, feel free to ignore this note and go ahead with the incredibly short but hopefully humorous story you've clicked. To anyone who DOES know me... *gets shot at* I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M A SLACKER! I had a summer job that had completely taken over my life, so for two months it pretty well grounded me from my computer. After the job ended at the first of this month... well, I've been suffering from the worst case of writer's block I think I've ever had. Zero inspiration, no matter what the story. However, I have attempted to start writing again, so maybe you'll get an update on some of that carp (yes, carp) sometime soon-ish. For now, I'm obsessed with Death Note, thus what I actually post is probably going to have something to do with it. This story was written over the span of a couple lunch breaks at work on roughly two and a half sheets of notebook paper. My little cousin (who admittedly laughs at things that aren't even remotely funny sometimes) laughed like the maniac she is when she read this, so I have hopes that it's amusing. But I guess you'll just have to decide that for yourself, won't you? Have fun! ^^
Light Yagami was dead tired. A week of late-night to early morning studying (and criminal killing) added to the need to rise early to get to school had left the 17 year-old completely exhausted. Thus, when his alarm clock shrilled at 7 AM, Light shifted slightly, but otherwise ignored it and slumbered on.
Ryuk was intensely aggravated. Light's alarm clock was, without a doubt, the most obnoxious human invention he had ever encountered. And Light wasn't turning it off. That just isn't going to do, Ryuk thought, scowling at the brunette in dissatisfaction.
"Hey, Light," he called, dropping from where he hung on the ceiling to Light's bedside. "Light, wake up. ...Light! Wake up, Light! ...Come on!"
No response. The alarm clock continued to screech that the time to wake had come. Growling, Ryuk leaned down next to Light's ear. "WAKE UP, LIGHT!" he bellowed.
Light frowned, tossed about and rolled onto his other side, and did not open his eyes.
Snarling now in frustration, Ryuk glared down at the sleeping teen. With all these cameras set up in here, I can't just turn it off myself. It would be too suspicious. Anyway, Light has to get to school. He promised to buy me some apples on the way there.
The shinigami plopped himself down in Light's computer chair, which conveniently faced the bed. So what do I do? He HAS to get up... AND THAT NOISE HAS GOT TO STOP!
Ryuk couldn't take it anymore. The alarm clock was going to be silenced, one way or another. To achieve that end, Ryuk leapt out of the chair and alighted on Light's headboard. He reached out with his long arms and seized Light, rolling him onto his back. Then he took hold of Light's left arm and proceeded to flop it around in the direction of the shrieking clock. After all, Ryuk reasoned, there was nothing unusual about smacking at the device with closed eyes. People did it all the time. Why should Light be any different?
At last, Ryuk managed to hit the 'OFF' button with Light's hand, and the noise mercifully ceased. Ryuk let out a sigh of relief. "FINALLY!" he exclaimed, releasing Light. The brunette's arm fell limply to his mattress; his hand vanished in the crevice between his bed and his bedside table.
In the silence that followed the muffled 'plmph' of Light's limb/appendages, Ryuk had a moment's reprieve to consider his next move. Now that he seemed to have turned his alarm clock off, Light would be thought to be awake, and must therefore proceed with the rest of his morning. However, Light was about as concious as a rock. That presented a problem... Ryuk quickly found a solution.
Still situated on the headboard, Ryuk balanced on one foot, using the other to push Light into a sitting position. Hesitantly, Ryuk removed his shoe from Light's back. The boy wobbled, but remained upright. Ryuk jumped to the floor and grabbed his shoulders to stabilize him.
Huh... This is going to have to be done carefully, he thought, and in just such a way he spun Light so that his legs dangled off the edge of the bed. Then came the real challenge: holding Light up and puppeteering him across the room to his dresser. Ryuk had never been so thankful that Light often fell asleep fully clothed; a shirt wasn't very difficult to feign changing, but pants... Impossible AND traumatic!
Clothed in an unwrinkled shirt, Light (still fast asleep) "walked" out of his room and started down the stairs. This was where the charade became a pain in the rear. Light was so limp and floppy; he fell every which way as Ryuk tried vainly to maneuver him. About halfway down the steps, the shinigami hit the breaking point. Cameras or no, this was not going to go on any longer.
"Screw it," Ryuk growled, and tossed the unconcious Light over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
~L's Hotel~
"Hm? This is strange, Chief Yagami," L said in his usual monotone, nibbling on the end of his thumb.
"What's strange, Ryuuzaki?" the police chief asked as he strode across the room.
"Your son isn't getting up like he usually does. He's completely ignoring his alarm."
Chief Yagami's brow furrowed. "That is odd," he mumbled, sitting down in an armchair and folding his arms over his chest. "Why are you still asleep, Light?"
A moment passed in silence save for the shrieks of Light's alarm clock. Then without warning, Light reached out and slapped the snooze button, stopping the noise. He lay in bed for a moment more before rising to stumble over to his chest of drawers. Sluggish and zombie-like, the seventeen year-old pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor, then yanked another one on to replace it. Again he stumbled across the room, this time to his door, and exited.
"He left his backpack," L noted, peering intently at Light. "Why would he-" The black-haired man broke off, his already huge obsidian eyes widening further. Beside him, Chief Yagami's jaw dropped. It was little wonder - Light Yagami was now inexplicably floating down the stairs.
L blinked a multitude of times, even going so far as to rub his eyes before looking back at the monitor screen. Light was still floating.
"Chief Yagami," L said shakily, tearing his eyes away from the disturbing image. "You may return home to rest. Tell the other men to take the day off as well. I believe we are all severely overworked."
And there it is. Hopefully you at least giggled at it. Anyway, reviews are nice. Thanks for reading!
~destinykeyblade