A/N-For my Poodle (A-Lady-To-Me) on her birthday. I had brought up this idea to her last week and suggested I write something like it for her birthday and of course she accepted and encouraged the idea :) I hope you all enjoy it. I know it's starts off angsty, but I swear it's pure Banna fluff. Please review.
Pillow Talk
It was horribly quiet. Almost painfully so. They had never fought like this before, this was new and it wasn't sitting well with Anna. She looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly midnight, they'd been laying like this in silence for the past two hours, unable to fall asleep. Anna had found that after that first time they had shared a bed she couldn't fall asleep without John saying "goodnight" to her, even if it was just over the phone. There was a space between them on the bed and she hated it more than ever, normally John would sidle up behind her and take her in his arms and spoon her. But not tonight. No, tonight they had prepared for bed as if they were existing in their own universes, passing like ships in the night without a word as they simultaneously brushed their teeth and avoided eye contact. Changed into their pajamas without so much as a lingering glance in the others direction and turned out the lights without a word to one another.
If she were being honest with herself she could hardly remember how the fight had even started. But she knew how it had ended. The tension had been building all afternoon and she supposed she was due an outburst at some point in time, being eight months pregnant. The heat had been unbearable this summer, she was the size of a whale, she couldn't see her feet anymore but she knew they were swollen as were her ankles and fingers. She could hardly get a good nights sleep anymore without having to get up to pee every ten minutes and when she wasn't making trips to the loo, the baby was making it incredibly difficult to get comfortable. Clearly their child was already taking after his or her father; an insomniac if she ever saw one. She just wished it hadn't been John that she had unloaded on.
For weeks she had been asking him to help her with the nursery and he had been putting it off due to work, and yet when she had requested that he change the furniture around he looked at her like she had antlers growing out of her head. What was it he had called her? Unreasonable. She rolled her eyes at that and let out an audible scoff. Sure she had asked him to move the furniture around three times and yes she had made him repaint the nursery two times when she couldn't quite settle on a color. But was it so wrong to want everything to be perfect for their first child? If she could have done it herself she would have. Anna pulled the covers up more tightly around her as she tried to warm herself, which was proving more difficult than she realized without John at her side. She shifted uncomfortably with her back to him and attempted to find a more comfortable position before letting out a heavy sigh.
He was tempted to roll over. He'd heard her trying to rub her feet together under the sheets and knew that they were probably ice cold without being able to harvest his warmth for herself. John had hated the things he had said out of frustration and exhaustion. All the things he had done to make the room just as Anna requested and she had seemed so unappreciative. After pulling a muscle in his back painting the room the second time, the last thing he wanted was to move the furniture for a third time. Was she out of her mind? She hadn't even thanked him for the rest of the stuff he had done that day. He had gone out to pick up her 'favorite' food after she had a sudden craving for a different brand of biscuits, even though they had a perfectly good brand in the cupboard. When he attempted to clean up around the house she had simply scolded him saying he hadn't done it right and she may as well have done it herself. He tried to be understanding, tried to remind himself that she was pregnant and her body was changing and her hormones were all over the place. But it wasn't enough. John had always promised himself he would never lose his temper with Anna, but she had just pushed and pushed until finally he had to leave the room. He may have even slammed the door and just thinking about that made his stomach turn and his eyes screwed shut.
His eyes were still facing the empty wall before him, watching the position of the moon change outside the window as each hour slipped past. Then he looked over at his nightstand and saw a picture of them on their wedding day. So happy. So care free. They were supposed to be enjoying this time together. For the most part they were; in fact when he had found out Anna was expecting their child he had never been happier. He replayed their wedding vows in his head and stopped when he remember how he had vowed, "For better or worse." Today was just a bad day, it would be a new day tomorrow and the only way it would be better was to make sure they didn't go to bed angry. He only hoped that she would be forgiving enough to see past his idiotic behavior.
"Anna?" he called out softly in the dark. When she didn't answer him he thought she must have finally fallen asleep. He thought maybe it would be better to wait until morning. To let her get some rest. But he couldn't let another minute pass without talking to her and telling her how sorry he was. "Anna are you still awake?" he asked.
She didn't answer again. But then he heard a small sniffle come from her side of the bed. "Anna, love. Are you crying?" he asked in concern.
"No," she lied, keeping her voice firm and steady.
When he heard her take another shallow breath he exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, I made you cry!" He began to roll over over to check on on her and she turned to face him so abruptly that their foreheads both collided. He was stunned and saw stars for a moment, but despite the blinding pain in his head his first concern was Anna. "My darling, are you alright?" John asked as he cupped her cheeks and tried to exam her forehead in the dark.
She simply laughed at him, almost maniacally, as she pulled away to turn on the light on her side of the bed. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm just on a roller coaster of emotions right now. You're son has that effect on me," she said with a hint of a smile. She knew John was secretly hoping for a girl, so she used every chance she got to dig in at him that it was a boy. They had decided to be surprised so neither one was the wiser. And in all honesty they would be happy either way so long as their baby was healthy.
He shook his head silently before correcting her, "You mean our daughter." John leaned forward and wiped her tears away and rubbed her belly, feeling the tiny kicks beneath her skin and offered a smile. "It's alright, love. It only stands to reason, your body is growing a human being."
"I just hate feeling so out of control of my own body. I swear pregnancy brain has got to be the most infuriating part of this whole process," she said with a heavy sigh.
"Yes, but it will be worth it once you are holding our son or daughter," he said as he smoothed the covers over her legs.
"I didn't mean to snap at your earlier. I know you are doing everything you can to appease me," she acknowledged.
"All is forgiven. I was no better. I should have been more patient with you," John offered as her hand came to rest on top of his. He always marvelled at the difference in size of their hands, the way hers were so smooth in comparison to his, how her fingers were so dainty and delicate. And then his eyes settled on her wedding band and he felt a warmth settle over his chest. It was a symbol of all they had and all they shared. He could not have been more proud than the day he put that ring on her finger and was able to finally call her "Mrs. Bates". John moved on the bed to lean his back up against the headboard and let out a small groan before rubbing at his lower back with his free hand.
Anna rubbed at her forehead with her fingertips and looked over at John with a goofy grin, "Aren't we a pair?" He chuckled heartily and shrugged his shoulders as his palm came to rest on her upper thigh. "You with your back injury, me carrying this beach ball, and now we have two concussions to match," she joked.
John sat up and rubbed his thumb gently over her forehead, "Are you sure you're okay? Should we go to the doctor's?"
She had to shake her head in amazement at her husband's big heart. He had been thrilled at the prospect of them having a baby, but he worried worse than her. It was a bit of a nuisance at times, but she knew it came from a place of love. It only made her love him more when she thought that he would be just as gentle and hands on with their own child when it arrived. "Don't be silly. I'm made of tougher stuff," she answered back with a grin. Anna was still amused at the way he was tending to her 'wounds' and handled her with such care. "Do I pass your standards? Will I live doctor?" she teased as her hand came to rest on her bulging belly.
"Well, you aren't going to die," John said as he pushed her loose hair behind her shoulder. He couldn't get over just how gorgeous she looked. He had never understood it until he had seen it for himself, but pregnancy suited her. She was the picture of perfection in her long, billowy, white cotton nightgown. Her breasts appeared fuller, her hips had filled out and she had a glow about her that made her look even more angelic. How a man like him had managed to land a girl like her, he would never understand. She was far too good for him and out of his league as far as he was concerned.
"Thank goodness for that," she replied sarcastically. Their spat was already nearly forgotten as she stared into his hazel eyes. His shirtless chest a vast plane laid out before her and liberally covered with coarse, black hair.
"But I have some news for you that is life altering," he said seriously.
"What's that?" she asked nervously.
"You're pregnant," he said with a straight face.
"Whatever will I tell the father?" she shot back.
"Hardy har har," he retorted as he began to tickle her sides. Her laughter filling his ears like the sweetest melody he had ever heard and her smile lighting up the room. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would find such happiness with a woman he loved more than life itself. And soon there would be a new addition to their little family that would hopefully take after her more than him.
"Don't make me laugh, I'll have to pee again," she scolded him playfully.
They both burst into giggles as his hand came to rest on her stomach. "I'm so sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did earlier. It wasn't fair to you or the little one. And now I'm afraid you'll have a tiny lump on your head to match your baby bump," John said as he gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "I should get you some ice for that," John noted as he began to get up from the bed.
"You can't leave me alone, you just told me I might have a concussion," she pointed out.
"What do you propose I do?" he countered.
Anna patted the empty spot beside her and gave him a devilish grin. "Come cuddle with me. I'm in need of your attention," she instructed. "I may need round the clock care," Anna added.
John was only too happy to oblige and wrapped his arms around her as he pressed his lips to the slope of her neck. His lips trailed down to her shoulder and back to her jaw where he peppered her face with another set of kisses.
"Are you sure you aren't still angry with me?" she asked.
"I'm positive," he replied with a haggard tone.
"Will you tire of me?" she asked nervously.
"Are you mad?" John asked as he pressed himself to her. She smelled incredible and he loved the way she arched into him. Laying front to back as she clutched his arms and pulled them tighter around her, he couldn't stop pinching himself at his blessed life.
"I doubt I'll get my figure back after the baby comes," she said voicing her insecurities. "And there will be days when I'll be so tired from taking care of the baby I may not want to…" her voice trailed off.
John turned her to face him and fixed her with a serious look, "I didn't fall in love with you or marry you for any of those things. I love you for your sweet, gentle nature. For your courage and loyalty. I love you for your infectious laugh and gorgeous smile. All the things that I know our baby will inherit because they will have someone like you for a Mum." She looked embarrassed now for ever saying a word on the matter. He lifted her chin to face him and kissed her long and hard as he twirled a strand of her hair over his finger tip. When he pulled away he continued, "So the answer is no. I could never tire of you. No matter what happens. I think I'd love you however, whatever, whenever."
That night Anna slept better than she had in weeks. Having had her husband put her mind at ease and making peace with one another she was able to fall into a blissful state of euphoria as they came together in the early hours of the morning. He had whispered reassurances in her ears and worshiped every inch of her skin with his hands and mouth. She had fallen asleep staring at the smile that was drawn on John's face as he dreamt, of what she didn't know but she could only hope it was of them and their baby. She had come to know that smile so well, and it was one he only reserved for her. As she grew drowsy she reminded herself not to take these moments for granted. It was moments like these, making idle chit chat in the evening hours, that she would have to hold onto the next time they had a bad day. And she was sure they would come, but at least they would always have each other to lean on. Together they could face anything.