Vormir wouldn't have made Tony's top ten vacation spots under the best of circumstances. This was far from it. He and Steve stood at the top of the cliff and, as usual, they were fighting.
"We both know it has to be me," Steve was saying. Tony folded his arms. Always about him, he thought, to stave off the panic forming in his chest.
"No," he said. "No way."
"Tony." Steve's voice was too even.
"I said no!" In contrast, Tony was a mess. Voice shaking, vision blurring, hands trembling. It wasn't fair. How could Steve ask this of him? How could he expect Tony to do this?
Steve just looked at him. Something unspoken passed between them. Tony ignored it. "I'm won't. You can't make me. It's supposed to be me, let me be the one to—"
"Haven't you already done that?" Steve smiled without humor. "New York. Doesn't that make it my turn?"
"Dammit, Steve, it's not about turns! The Avengers need you."
"No, they don't. What they need right now is you. I couldn't see that before. But whatever's waiting for me down there…" He waved an arm toward the rocks. "They can't do anything to me. I don't have anything left."
Tony shook his head. "There's nothing down there! And if this works? If they come back, and you aren't there? What am I supposed to tell them?" He clenched his hands into fists but there was nothing to hit. No enemy but the cliff beside them and their own stubbornness.
He drew in an unsteady breath. "After everything I've seen, all that I've done… I'm done, I've had enough, please, let me do this. Let this be how I can save everyone."
"Tony, no, I'm not-" Steve took a step back as Tony advanced, eyes blazing. His fingernails would have been digging bloody crescents into his palms if not for the gauntlets in the way.
"You think you know pain? I've had my chest ripped open, been poisoned, had a nuke on my back, I'm tired, I can't help anyone anymore, not the way you want me to, Steve. Steve, please."
Steve paused. "And Pepper? And Rhodey, and Happy… You've got friends and family out there who are waiting for you to come back. Look me in the eye and tell me you want to leave them behind. Tell me you don't want to be there when your kid gets back."
He couldn't. Just the thought of Pepper hearing he'd given up his chance to come back to her was softening his resolve. And Peter, god, if he could see Peter again, apologize for everything…
He looked at Steve. Beneath the terrible emptiness he knew too well, there was understanding in his eyes, and forgiveness. Tony just hoped he could forgive himself.
"Say hi to them all for me," Steve said, putting on a smile that didn't convince either of them.
"I'll say goodbye," said Tony, and he pushed Captain America over the side.