TITLE: Out of Gas – River's Timeline

AUTHOR: PapayaK

CATEGORY: Hurt/comfort

Disclaimer: I get nothing but pleasure from this

A/N - There were several timelines in this episode - here is one more. I always wondered what happened on board the shuttle that made them turn around. This is one idea...

oO0Oo
oO0Oo

"I got nine people here – all wantin' to breathe."

oOo

"We send both shuttles off in opposite directions. Betters the chance of someone getting' seen – maybe picked up."

oOo

"What about you?"

"Four people per shuttle. That's the arrangement. Evens the odds. I'm staying with Serenity."

"Captain…"

"We sent out a beacon. Even managed to boost it a little. If by some chance we get a response, someone's gonna have to be here to answer it."

oOo

"I'm not leaving Serenity."

"Mal, you don't have to die alone."

"Everybody dies alone."

oOo

"When your miracle gets here – you just pound this button once. You'll call back both shuttles."

.oO0Oo.

They had all looked at him as if he were committing suicide; everyone except River. She alone had understood. Mal had no choice. He couldn't leave Serenity - not now – not like this. Not when she needed him so desperately. If River had been given a choice she'd've done the same- no – that wasn't quite so. Even if she had been given a choice, she'd have left so as not to take his air.

Rather than try to explain something they couldn't possibly understand, he distracted them: gave them jobs to do, instructions to follow. Focused them on what was coming not what they were leaving. He was good at that – a good captain. Looked after all the needs of his crew.

'Course – it also served to distract himself as he knew he wasn't truly delivering them… Just buying them a bit more time- more'n he'd have, most likely.

.oO0Oo.

Everything was very quiet in the shuttle.

Wash was busying himself with the shuttle controls – trying not to think about Mal, left behind – Trying not to panic about Zoe, clinging to life.

Simon was quiet – tending to Zoe – thinking of her needs and the best possible treatment he could provide given his meager supplies.

Zoe was the only one truly quiet. She was deeply unconscious. Healing.

River looked at all of them. Felt all of them in their quietness. She had nothing to say.

She looked further - deeper into space – to the other shuttle: It was the same there. Everyone quiet. Everyone trying not to think. They were so loud when they tried not to think. She mostly tuned them out. She had been getting better at that.

She looked to Serenity.

Serenity...

River-Serenity. Serenity-River. They were connected. Had been since she had risen from the box – gasping…

…In that moment, when the box had opened, unable not to feel everything, she had become immediately mindful of three things:
Simon – brother – a feeling so intensely familiar it would have overwhelmed her had it not been so terribly welcome.
Serenity – metal, but warm – holding her safe in the dark cold of space – solid, ever-present protector – fierce but gentle - quiet.
Mal – the instant she became aware of the stranger she'd expected danger – expected to feel Fear and Menace from him as she did from so many others – but she didn't. She felt surprise first, then curiosity. And in spite of a frightening and sad darkness buried deep inside him, she felt kindness. She felt a little bit of pity from him and then an overwhelming urge to protect.

She had to smile; remembering that in spite of all that went on inside, all that came out was: "huh."

Then consciousness overcame her and she became aware of too much to process – in that moment…

Mal.

Mal was Serenity too. He felt the ship like she did. Except River knew there was yet another link between them: Mal had rescued Serenity from eternal imprisonment on that moon – and she had saved him from a life 'neath the heel of the Alliance - they had each restored the other's freedom.

But now Mal… no. Serenity was hurt. River sometimes had trouble setting them apart.

Serenity was badly injured. Dying. So badly hurt she couldn't protect them anymore. River couldn't be a part of her anymore.

But Mal could.

"Dying." She whispered. "Sad."

Simon looked at her where she had curled up onto a small perch near Zoe. "What? No!" He reassured, "Zoe is going to be fine. She was hurt badly, but she will recover completely." He smiled gently at his sister, "She should wake soon."

River just looked at him. It was so rare that they actually talked about the same thing at the same time.

"Cold."

Simon retrieved a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. He was so kind. He thought she referred to herself – cold from Serenity.

It was true that she had felt the cold on Serenity, but she was even colder now that she had been torn away… The wound raw. The protection gone.

But she wasn't talking about River. She referred to Serenity. She was talking about Mal: Cold.

The blanket fell about her shoulders offering its meager warmth just as an identical blanket wove itself about Mal.

She, like him, leaned back, snuggled into her little roost - tried to sleep…

TBC