i wanna be a bottle blonde
i don't know why but i feel conned
i wanna be an idle teen
i wish i hadn't been so clean
/
i wanna stay inside all day
i want the world to go away
i want blood, guts and chocolate cake
i wanna be a real fake
teen idle - marina and the diamonds
They were all different yet they were one and the same. Bellatrix—little Bella, dangerous Bella, insane Bells—was the fighter, and Andromeda—beautiful, lovely Dromeda— was the rebel and Narcissa—sweet Cissy— was the golden flower of the family. Yet they were all Blacks, they were sisters and beneath all their masks lay a bit of madness.
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Bellatrix is the girl with a thrill of darkness that leaves a path of destruction behind her, the girl that enjoyed a bit too much her victim's screams and their pleas and their pain. She is the girl no one believes anymore in her sanity— i am not insane i am bellatrix black I AM NOT MAD
.
When Andromeda is fifteen, she befriends a mudblood, Ted Tonks, a fair haired Hufflepuff with bright blue eyes that enchants you and a grin that never leaves his face, a grin that shows all his teeth and makes her want to die for him.
When Andromeda is sixteen, she kisses the said mudblood—muggle-born, there is nothing filthy about Ted, he is normal, he is just like us, no differences— and she does not feel any fireworks, not that she expects any but she finds that she quite likes kissing him and she kisses him again and again and again.
When Andromeda is eighteen she realizes she is in love with Edward Tonks, completely and hopelessly and she wants to burn the whole world down because she cannot be with Ted and expect her family to accept him, and she knows they would either kill him or disown her and she hates—no, loathes herself for falling for the cheery Hufflepuff and dragging him down the mess her family is.
.
Narcissa may look cold as ice from the outside and her kisses may feel like kissing a vanilla smelling corpse and she may seen unresponsive but she is a romantic at heart, a romantic that only shows that side of hers to her sisters, only her sisters.
One day she takes one look at Lucius Malfoy and she is in love. She never looks back after that. (not much, anyway)
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They start as three sisters. Three sisters that are always close, so close that it seems no one can come between them, not even their parents (in the end it is love that seperates them). As children when one of them has a nightmare they sleep huddled together in one bed, comforting each other. They play games and giggle and laugh and irritate their mother together.
.
Bellatrix walks in school halls her head high, her hair flying all different places, wild and untamable and black and soft and sharp at the same time, her lips curled in a smirk and her eyes cruel but charming, eyes that would make you love her and hate her—
No one, not one person notices that her laughs and smiles are all fake.
.
Andromeda is the rebel of her family, she smokes muggle cigarettes and she drinks muggle alcohol and she sneaks out at night to go to muggle clubs wearing muggle clothes.
Bellatrix knows her sister's fascination about muggles, and silently, in a corner of the house where no one can hear them, she admonishes her sister. Andromeda never listens to her.
Narcissa knows her sister's fascination about muggles, and she ignores it.
.
One day Bellatrix kills her cousin and when she realizes what she has done she turns around and starts to run all the while laughing and laughing and shouting.
I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!
The words sounds terrifying coming from her mouth and she makes herself believe it was the right thing to do, he was just a blood traitor, he deserved it, he was not a Black anymore, he turned his back to me, he is not my Sirius anymore, he is not, he is not, he deserved it— and she laughs again.
When the Dark Lord finishes with her, she goes back to her chambers and throws up.
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"We will always going to be together, will we not, Bella?"
"Of course we will, my love, you, me and Andy. We will grow old toger and we will die as old wrinkly ladies together."
lies, lies, all lies
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Bellatrix does not exactly hate mudbloods, She hates what they represent. She hates it was a mudblood that stole her sister and she hates her sister choose a mudblood over their family, over her. And she punishes all mudbloods because of one of them.
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Narcissa loves her son, her little Dragon more than life, more than she had once loved her sisters. But one of her sister is mad and long gone and not what she once was, and another sister a traitor, not to their family beliefs and all Blacks and blood but a traitor to her, to Narcissa and Bellatrix, a traitor to their dreams of always.
As she searches her son in the battle, with red and green and yellow lights flickering around her, her husbands hand entwined in hers, and the only thought in her head her son (my love, my darling) she completely misses her sister's—the mad, mad one—death.
.
When Bellatrix puts the Sorting Hat on her head, a sly voice mentions Gryffindor, because she is impulsive and rash and brave and perhaps being a Gryffindor would save her (it probably would not), Bellatrix declines in her head vehemently, because she is a Black and Blacks are always Slyherin.
When Andromeda puts the Sorting Hat on her head, a soft voice with a hint of a smile tells her she would do well in Hufflepuff, because she is loyal, loyal to her beliefs, loyal to her sister, loyal to what she loves (it ruins her in the end), Andromeda says no. She is a Black and Blacks do not shame their families by getting sorted in Hufflepuff.
Narcissa places the sorting hat on her head and it takes only a second and the hat shouts out "Slytherin!" because she is cunning and sly and she has the most self-preservation in her family (perhaps that is the reason why she outlives all of them).
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In Azkaban, Bellatrix remembers.
She remembers her sisters, she remembers Andromeda who she loves so much but in the end the only thing she got from her was a knife in the back. She remembers Cissy, the little sister, always protecting her, always looking out for her, her little golden Cissy.
In Azkaban, Bellatrix laughs and she laughs because she cannot cry anymore. As she laughs, her sisters' laughters echoes with hers in her head.
.
Bellatrix hears the whispers—whispers saying a new dark lord is rising, he will cleanse our world from filt, he will rise our world to its former glory—she hears them wherever she goes, in the Slytherin common room, in her mother's parties and balls, one time she hears her father taling about him in his office while she eavesdrops.
She becomes curious, curious about this powerful man people talk about, curious about his beliefs, his ideals, curious about how he will do what he says. But she never seeks him out, she learned in an early age it is not a woman's place to fight in a war, no matter how much they want.
That all changes when her sister decides to leave her family—leave me, me!—for a mudblood.
Two days after Andromeda is disowned, after the arguments, after two days of pure anger and rage, she finds the Dark Lord.
It is surprisingly not har to find him. few conversations from old Slytherin classmates, she gets and invite from the Dark Lord to have a talk with him.
Two weeks after Andromeda's disownments, she kneels in front of the Dark Lord, she kneels as Bella—Bells— and she pledges herself to him, pledges loyalty to the Dark Lord and she rises as Bellatrix Black, the Dark Lord's future most trusted follower.
She promises herself that day that she will not stop until she kills all the mudbloods, including her sister's lover—not my sister, not anymore, no more
.
That is the thing.
They start as three little girls, sisters and best friends promising a future together, giggling and laughing.
One ends up insane and dead, one loses everyting she loves because on one big choice she makes when she is just a teenager (and she never regrets, never, never) and one ends up with her husband in Azkaband and her son looking so much like his father, loving his father a bit more than his mother, a bit more than he should have, a son she loves with all her heart but not receiving the love in return.
They start together but end up scattering all different ways, all different from how they started.