A/N: This is the result of me and my sister being very bored while on a roadtrip to Texas, having a computer, and completely insane minds. The fonts have been altered so that you can understand who is saying what better, but the actual dialogue has not been altered at all. There are references to Transformers Prime characters, but none of them really participate.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or Larry the cucumber.

Riptide is my sister's OC. Ice Shard also belongs to her.

Tailfin is my OC. (Finally! Something that belongs to me!)

The voice of the sticky note belongs to no man!

Riptide is a purple and pink seeker, she sides with the Autobots.

Tailfin is a silver and blue helicopter, she also sides with the Autobots.

Ice shard is pale blue Autobot femme with a huge crush on Wheeljack. (That's all you need to know)

Sticky note talking

Riptide talking

TAILFIN TALKING

[describing action]

Some of Riptide's dialogue is in caps, but it should be easy to tell who says what, since they take turns.

If you think you are going to use this computer, you are sorely mistaken! I am the allmighty sticky note! And nothing you do can stop me! I will plague your computer until you keel over with fatigue from staring at this perpetual and utterly annoying note! You will bow down to me in the end...I know you will...^u^

Spagooder.
(are you gonna eat that?)

I write a perfectly constructed paragraph and all you can say is 'Spagooder. are you gonna eat that?' Your typing skills are absolutely horrendious.

EXACTLY.

HI, I'M TAILFIN. I'M SO GLAD TO MEET YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Um, I'm Riptide, you don't have to yell, ya know.

I'M NOT YELLING. THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE. MY AUDIO RECEPTORS WERE DAMAGED WHEN I WAS A SPARKLING. SO I HAVE TO TALK LIKE THIS IN ORDER TO HEAR MYSELF.

Ooookay, Do you want me to yell too?

NAH, THAT'S OKAY. I'M USED TO HEARING EVERYONE WHISPERING. JUST LIKE I'M USED TO TALKING LIKE THIS. CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE FACT I HAVE TO YELL?

NO! WE MUST TALK ABOUT YOU YELLING! Ha, just kidding. ((when is this going on? Before, during, or after the show?))

I HAVE NO IDEA. WE'RE TALKING ON A STICKY NOTE, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. WANT ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ONE MECH I KNEW WHO DIED FROM HAVING A CONVERSATION ON A STICKY NOTE?

No. [pops my head off and tosses it back and forth]

ARE YOU SURE? IT'S A PRETTY INTERESTING STORY. [PLAYS BANJO WITH TURNIP]

Fine. ((where did you get that turnip?))

IF YOU CAN TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD THEN I CAN GET A TURNIP OUT OF NOWHERE. SO THE STORY IS, THIS MECH I KNEW WAS OUT ON A DATE WITH THIS FEMME, AND THEY WERE WRITING LOVEY DOVEY STUFF ON STICKY NOTES AND STUFF. (BLECH!) AND HE WROTE 'KISS ME' ON ONE, BUT SHE THOUGHT IT SAID 'KILL ME', SO SHE DID.

...

WHAT?

That escalated quickly.

IT'S STICKY NOTES. WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT! DID YOU KNOW THE LAWS OF PHYSICS DON'T APPLY HERE EITHER? [FLOATS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT]

Spagooder is now a real word in the dictionary.

SPAGOODER HAS BEEN IN THE DICTIONARY SINCE 1987. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? LIVING UNDER A ROCK?

Actually, yes, how did you know?

I SEE ALL! THANKS TO MY PERSONAL SECURITY CAMERAS I HAVE STATIONED ALL OVER THE PLANET. DID YOU KNOW I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT OF STRANGE WORDS IN THE DICIONARY? I HAVE COPYRIGHT. [paints optic with ketchup]

Hay, did you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

MY NAME'S NOT HAY. BUT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE CALLED HAY. AS FOR THE CARROTS, I TRIED PUTTING THEM IN MY EYES BUT THEN THEY GOT INFECTED AND I HAD TO GO TO THE VET

Vet? what are you, a dog?

NO. I DIDN'T GO TO THE VET FOR ME, I WENT FOR THE CARROTS. THE POOR THINGS HAD OPTIC FLUID ALL OVER THEM, THEY NEEDED SURGURY, BUT THEY DIED ANYWAY.

El oh el
Shouldn't you have brought them to the grocery store? Unless, of course, they were legendary carrot cats. I've always wanted one of those

WHAT IN THE PIT IS A CARROT CAT? DOESN'T EVERYBODY BRING THEIR PRODUCE TO THE VET? (maybe that's why I keep getting weird looks from him.)

[GASP] you swore! I am deeply offended. And yes, I forgot, everyone does bring they're produce to the vet, In fact, I brought my eggplant there just a week ago. His name is stanley.

HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A SWORE! I AM NOT A SWORE! AND I HOPE YOUR EGGPLANT DIES YOU, YOU, YOU EARTH KISSER!

[face palms]

WHAT? [eats wolf languidly with a hose]

I liked it better with the eight.

OH YOU ALWAYS DID LIKE EVERYTHING BETTER WITH AN EIGHT. [vigourously massages door]

88888888888888888888! ^ ^ ^ ^ ?

I THINK ALL THAT SOAP HAS GONE TO YOUR HEAD. [gives Optimus a haircut]

HE DOESN'T HAVE HAIR!

OH, WELL THEN I BETTER STOP CUTTING.

lol (quite literally)

OUR DISTINGUISHED LEADER JUST HAD A HAIR CUT WHEN HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH?! SORRY ABOUT YOUR HEAD, BOSS. YOU CAN JUST WEAR A HAT. [shrugs like a cactus]

[Starts eating cow hooves dipped in wood paste] Where will he find a hat big enough? ((do cybertroniens even wear hats?))

I SHALL LOOK ALL OVER THIS GALAXY IF I HAVE TO, UNTIL I FIND A HAT FOR OUR BALD PRIME. PLEASE PASS THE HOOVES.

[passes you the hooves wheeljack walks in]
Ice shard: Yay! [runs over and hugs wheeljack]
Wheeljack: not again.

Me: SPAGOODER!

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN! [starts slapping Dreadwing with decapitated leg]

? [Does cartwheels in africa]

[pours blood on head] MURDER!

YEAH! ((poor dreadwing))

[slaps mayo on Ratchets head] ARE WE EVEN TALKING ANYMORE? OR ARE WE JUST TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT THERE ARE NO PHYSICS IN STICKY NOTES?

Yup.

SWEET. STICKY NOTES RULE! DOWN WITH PHYSICS! NO MORE GRAVITY! [crams orange in mouth and starts doing the chicken dance]

[Suddenly trips on soap despenser and dies fabulosely like a pile of cold mashed potatoes] XP I am now dead

WELL, ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO. [runs to the store to buy a hat for Optimus' bald head then while running back steps on a bunny and starts bleeding to death] I...HAVE...YOUR...HAT...MY BALD...LEADER...[chokes to death with Larry the cucumber]

The end.