Hey! This is my first fanfic in a long while, and my first in english, so please don't judge too harshly. It contains lots of fluff and OOC'ness, because I like it. Ciel is a little older in this story, he's 14. So no flames, don't like don't read.
Also, reviews are appreciated. I want to make new friends, so feel free to talk to me! :D
I also posted this story in Portuguese, my native language, in another site. Here is the link to that profile: .br/perfil/isabellar
Warnings: boy x boy action, OOC'ness, mature content, nightmares, fluff
Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler nor any of its characters.
I
-xXx-
Nightmares and Lessons
Ciel laid his head on the heavy oak desk and sighed. He had drowned himself in paperwork for days now, and there seemed to be no end to his duties. No matter how long he worked, there was always more to be done. The company's deals and relatories, the Queen's letters, countless invitations to boring and irrelevant balls which he had to refuse...
It was too much for a 14-year-old boy to handle. Ciel couldn't remember the last time he had a break to indulge in some free time. He was tired and with a bad headache, but there was still so much to be done, if he didn't want to have the work delayed.
He was about to relutanctly pull another stack of papers to fill when the door to his study opened opened to reveal his always black clad butler.
"Young master, shall I start the preparations to bed?"
"I'm busy right now, Sebastian. I'll sleep later today."
The demon stiffened slightly, and had Ciel raised his head he have seen the concerned look that washed over Sebastian's face. "My lord, it is almost midnight. Way past your bedtime. You have been neglecting sleep in order to do your work for at least a week, and while that's an admirable action it is not healthy."
"I don't have much of a choice. It has to be done." The earl said with a weary sigh. In fact, he had felt the effects of the lack of sleep, but work wasn't the only reason he didn't want to go to bed.
Awful and endless nightmares had been haunting him the last month. Nightmares about the fire, his memories of the time he was held captive, hands roaming all over him, molesting him, hurting him... and new dreams. Elizabeth cold and dead in his arms, her unseeing green eyes staring at his. His servants, hurt and bleeding, fighting to protect him from the many enemies he had made over the years. Sebastian, scary and dispassionate, leaving his souless body on the ground and going away without even a glance back...
Remembering all those images, Ciel's body shook in an unpleasant shudder that didn't go unnoticed by the butler. Sebastian slowly walked to him and kneeled before his master, tilting his head up so he could look into the boy's troubled face.
"My young lord, please, rest for today. I can help you with these documents tomorrow or even have it all done in a second if you order me to, just please, let me put you to bed. You'll certainly get ill if you keep this rhythm."
There was something in Sebastian's expression. Ciel couldn't put a finger to it, but there was something different, and it made the demon's worry seem so unusually sincere, that he saw himself unable to deny him any longer. He was all of a sudden barely able to keep his eyes open.
"Take me to bed," he murmured.
"Thank you, master." Smiling to himself, Sebastian gently scooped the boy up and into his arms. He took him to the huge bedroom and sat Ciel on the bed, his hands going up to untie the ever-present eyepatch. One by one his clothes were taken off and neatly folded over a nearby chair, and the butler went to the bathroom leaving his master naked to the world.
He came back with a towel and a bucket. Sweet scented steam raised from the water, and he dampened the cloth with it. Delicatedly, he started rubbing off any sweat or dirt that had unlikely gotten on the pale skin over the day.
Ciel's skinny arms and chest were scrubbed and cleaned with utmost care, and then Sebastian went to wash his legs and feet. He massaged his way up until he got to he boy's crotch. The butler looked up, silently asking permission.
When Ciel said nothing — for he was almost asleep under the gentle touches, — Sebastian quickly cleaned the private parts, trying to not invade his personal space too much. For Ciel to let him touch all his body like that, even if under a cloth, meant that he trusted Sebastian, and he didn't want to break the trust he had carefully built for more than four years.
When Sebastian was finished, he grabbed Ciel's nightshirt and dressed him into it, buttoning it up and adjusting the collar.
He lifted the comforter up and Ciel laid on the soft matress. Sebastian tucked the sheets around him and was about to take the candelabrum and leave, when a small hand tugged at his sleeve.
"My lord?" He turned to see the boy pressing his head to the pillow, effectively hiding his face from the demon.
"Stay with me... until I fall asleep." Ciel added the last part as if it was an afterthought, which made the butler smile softly. Ignoring the chair, he sat on the edge of the bed and took his master's hand in his, squeezing it lightly.
"As you wish. Has the young master been having nightmares?"
"... Maybe one or two."
Sebastian sighed. He had hoped the nightmares would stop as Ciel grew older, but every once in a while they would come back and torment his nights. "Do you want to talk about them?"
Ciel just shook his head.
When among other people, they were strictly earl and butler. However, in the latest year they had become a little closer to each other. Sebastian wasn't sure if they could be called friends, but the advance allowed him to talk and act more casually with Ciel when they were alone.
He reached his fingers to the boy's dark hair, gently stroking it. As there were no complaints, he kept playing with the locks, slowly lulling his master to sleep.
Ciel felt his body relax and his already tired mind getting hazier and hazier, and just before he drifted into uncounsciousness he hoped that for once he would have a peaceful and dreamless sleep.
Oh, how he was wrong.
-xXx-
It was dark.
It was cold.
It was scary and uncomfortable, and Ciel just wanted to go home, to go to his parents' loving arms. But he knew better than to think he could just get up and leave. Things were not that simple.
There they were.
The hands. The rough, filthy hands were on him again, and those pigs' laughter filled his ears. The hands were groping him, ripping off the dirty rags he was in. Naked, vulnerable, he wasn't able to put up a fight when he felt a sharp pain on his backside and when he gagged, two rock hard cocks entering him without mercy.
He couldn't see anything, it was as if he had been blinded, he could only hear the disgusting moans and feel his body being profaned, he could smell the sweat and the damned pleasure of the men...
An then Ciel could see.
Two red eyes flashed in the dark, an inhuman glow. And he heard an evil chuckle.
Sebastian was there, in front of him, and Ciel felt relief wash all his pain. He was safe. His butler had come to him.
But... Sebastian was going away.
Why was he going away?
"Sebastian? Sebastian!" He tried screaming, but the penis in his mouth only allowed him to spill muffled sounds, unwittingly pleasuring the man even more.
And now there were only him and the demon. Ciel tried reaching for him, but Sebastian only laughed and kept moving further.
"Sebastian! Where are you going? Help me!"
Steps going in the opposite direction.
The darkness started engulfing him, pulling Ciel into oblivion, and he was getting desperate.
"Please! Don't leave me...!"
He couldn't feel, he couldn't see, he couldn't hear, he couldn't smell.
"Sebastian!"
And then there was nothing.
-xXx-
Ciel's body jolted up, his eyes opening wide but seeing nothing. His heartbeat was discompassed and he was panting uncontrollably, the last glimpse of the black tailcoat still fresh in his mind.
Then he noticed the the strong gloved hands that gripped his arms, and the very concerned butler that stared intently at him.
"My Lord, what happened? Another nightmare?"
Sebastian had been alert to any disturbances in his master's bedroom. Everything had been peaceful and quiet, until he heard the pained murmurs and the rolling around. When he entered the room, Ciel's whispers had turned into cries of his name, and his face was contorted in desperation.
And now, Sebastian was utterly surprised — maybe even a little scared — to see tears forming in the boy's big blue eyes.
Ciel Phantomhive was crying.
Sebastian didn't expect he would live enough to witness such scene. The usually cold and indifferent face was torn, tears freely flowed down his red cheeks, and he tried to contain his sobs by biting his lip, but his little body trembled violently.
The image made Sebastian feel a pain in his chest, a heavy and unpleasant feeling. He cradled Ciel's head to his shoulder and stroked the soft hair, closing his eyes as he murmured sweet nothings to the broken child.
"It's okay, young master, you are safe. It was a dream, you don't have to be afraid. I am here to protect you, no harm will come to you while I'm close by."
However, that only seemed to make Ciel worse, for he now was crying openly and clinging to his clothes. Sebastian was confused and slightly in panic, until the boy said:
"You were gone," he sobbed. "In the dream, they had their hands on me again, you were there, and I called you over and over again but you just laughed and walked away..." His voice cracked and he wasn't able to talk anymore.
He knew he was being pathetic and showing weakness, but now he couldn't bring himself to care. More than the rape, to watch as the only person he really trusted leave him like that had shaken him more than he would like to aknowledge.
When he heard a low chuckle, Ciel raised his head to glare at his butler, only to see him with a gentle face, smiling, a strange gleam in his crimson eyes. Before Ciel could have any thoughts on the matter, he noticed that Sebastian's arms had tightened around him, and their faces were so close he almost went cross-eyed.
"Please, forgive me for what I am about to do, young master."
"Sebastian...?" He was silenced by one of his butler's hands. He had taken his gloves off sometime, and the warm palm was directly against his cheek. They lingered like that for some moments, looking into each other's eyes, taking in each detail.
An then, Sebastian very slightly brushed his lips against his.
At first they didn't move at all, just absorbing the physical sensation and emotional meaning. But after a while Sebastian started moving, pressing his lips to Ciel's gently but firmly. Ciel didn't know what exactly he was supposed to do, and he akwardly tried to copy the other's movements. Sebastian smiled into the kiss, his tongue darting out to lick at the boy's lips. The sudden action made Ciel jerk back and break the kiss, his face flushed as he stared at Sebastian.
"What was that?"
"It's called kissing, my lord."
"You know what I mean" the young earl barked, looking away with a scowl. The sight of his flushed master with an angry expression made the butler smirk teasingly.
"Oh my, could it be that the young master is embarrassed?"
"Of course not, shut up!" Ciel screeched. Sebastian merely chuckled and leaned into another kiss, Ciel not hesitating to retribute this time.
Neither of them knew how much time they spent like that — hugging one another, hands lazily caressing a back or strands of hair, lips and tongues moving together. It could have been minutes, it could have been days. When they finally separated, the last characteristics of the proud head of the Phantomhives were gone, and in their place was the child that was hidden underneath. Ciel laid his head on Sebastian's shoulder, looking up at him with unfocused eyes.
"Sebastian..."
"Yes, my lord?"
"I'm still scared... will you make me forget it?"
Sebastian hesitated, his hand stopping its stroking.
"If you leave a sentence open like that, m'lord, I might do something rather inappropriate for one such as you."
"Like what?" Ciel asked curiously, raising his hips to sit on Sebastian's lap.
"Certainly you have an idea of what I am talking about. But perhaps you're a bit too young to indulge in such activities."
"Don't understimate me." There was no real bite in his words, the blush on Ciel's face breaking the planned effect. "I know what you mean."
"Do you, now? Have you done it by yourself?" Sebastian wasn't teasing, he was simply intrigued, but the question still made Ciel even more flustered.
"Well... I-I might have wondered how it's like..."
He was so cute. Sebastian laughed and kissed Ciel's forehead, soothing him.
"Come on now, no need to be embarrassed. You can talk about anything to me, young mas..."
"Ciel."
"...Excuse me?"
"Call me Ciel... when we're alone like this." Ciel wasn't looking at him, instead looking at the wall as if it was the most interesting thing in that room.
Sebastian smiled. "Alright, Ciel." He then put a finger under the boy's chin, tilting his head up so he could look into those beautiful eyes.
"I could show you, answer your questions, if you wanted."
"Would you do that?"
"But of course. I am here to attend to your every whim, regardless of its nature."
"Show me then. Make sex to me."
The butler was taken aback, wondering if it was the lack of sleep that was making Ciel want that.
"I was kind of intending to show you through books... I don't know if this is what you really want, my lord."
Ciel blushed darkly, hiding his face again. Tomorrow he would look back in that night and facepalm at his previous fragility.
"I want this. Don't you?"
The boy felt an unpleasant tug at his gut, insecurity and a sudden fear making him tense. What if he had misunderstood the signals and Sebastian didn't like him that way? Didn't desire him? What would he think of Ciel now that he had asked that? Would he laugh at him? Feel disgusted? Ciel didn't think he could stand being frowned upon or hated by the person he trusted most. Sebastian was his protector confident, and the closest to what he could call a friend. The butler knew every secret Ciel so meticulously hid from others, he knew his past and didn't judge him.
Ciel tried to deny it, he really did, but deep inside he knew he cared a lot for this demon. He just couldn't name the feeling. He couldn't even begin to imagine how it would hurt if Sebastian hated him.
Said person, sensing the child's distress, held him a little tigher and leaned down to look at the frowning little face.
"Don't get me wrong, Ciel. I would love to teach you these things, to introduce you to this world. I really want to be the first one to make you feel such pleasure, more than I would judge appropriate," Sebastian admitted. "But I don't think you are mature enough to experience this. When you are older, though, you might have to be careful. It will be harder for me to keep control, as the only thing that is keeping me from taking you right now, vulnerable and bold as you are, is the respect for your young age."
At this, Ciel laughed. Not the cynical snorts he gave when mocking his enemies, nor the awkward smiles when with Elizabeth. A real laughter, at ease.
"You're a demon and you are holding yourself in virtue of my young age?"
Seeing the smile and comfortable demeanour of his master made a foreign warm feeling swell in Sebastian's chest.
He didn't know how nor when, but he knew something had changed in the way he saw this human. In the beginning, he despised the childish attitude and wishes. At the time, Sebastian had not been under a contract for a long while and was not used to being ordered around. Thus he hated Ciel.
However, as time passed and he learned more about the child's past, he noticed how Ciel's proud and cold personality was a mere mask. Deep inside he was still a scared boy, and the efforts he made to hide it made Sebastian tolerate his company, and even like it. And in the most recent months, as they became a little closer and Ciel sometimes put off his mask before him, Sebastian noticed that he wanted to erase the sad boy and create a happy, safe one. He didn't want to taint Ciel's soul with darkness anymore, he wanted to make him smile and laugh just like he was doing now.
"Sebastian?"
Ciel had stopped laughing, and was now looking at him with confused eyes. Sebastian noticed then that he had been staring into nothing while immersed in his thoughts.
His eyes softened and he smiled at his young boy.
"Forgive me, my lord, I was just thinking about something."
"Don't get so easily distracted. If we were in danger one second is crucial. And call me Ciel!"
"Yes, my Ciel." Sebastian gently lifted Ciel's head and kissed the rosy lips again. He could easily picture himself becoming addicted to their sweet, delicious taste.
A clumsy tongue pushed in between his lips trying to gain entrance. Sebastian happily gave way, reveling in the experimental movements. He intertwined his tongue with Ciel's, his eyes open to watch the expressions on that beautiful face.
As they separated, the need for air making itself known, Sebastian planted kisses all over Ciel's cheeks, chin, nose, forehead and temples. The loving touches made the boy giggle and look up at him with sparkling eyes. Ciel didn't remember the last time he was touched in such a tender manner, and he was enjoying every moment of it.
"Won't you do anything? I want you to teach me this things."
Sebastian seemed hesitant, his hands just lightly resting on Ciel's waist. To secure him, Ciel cupped his face with one hand, the other sliding to the demon's nape to entangle its fingers in the dark hair, eliciting a shudder from the man.
"Please. If I didn't want this I wouldn't have let you kiss me in the first place. I am perfectly aware of what I am asking for. And I don't want to order you, I want you to do this because this is what you would like. So please, Sebastian, will you make love to me?"
And when the butler saw the lustful, yet innocent gaze his master was throwing him, he knew there was no coming back. He was completely wrapped around Ciel's little finger. And oh if he didn't like the sound of that.
"Yes, my lord."
-xXx-
Ciel's breath hitched as Sebastian kissed, nipped and licked his neck. The first four buttons of his nightshirt were opened, giving the demon more skin to play. Ciel was on his back over the soft sheets, panting and squirming under the hands that explored his covered stomach.
The boy's small hands fumbled with the buttons of his partner's tailcoat, desperately trying to take those annoying clothes off. Sensing his discontentment, Sebastian chuckled and got up so he could undress. As he took off the tailcoat, vest and shirt, he could feel the hungry gaze fixed upon him, and it was arousing. His pants were becoming too tight for his tastes.
"Enjoying the show, Ciel?"
"Shut up, idiot." He blushed, but it stil wasn't enough to repress his awe. "Come here."
He was indeed enjoying the show. Sebastian's chest was slim and muscular, his arms long and strong, his stomach flat. It was pallid and so flawless...
Sebastian settled himself on the bed again, straddling Ciel's thighs, and stood still to let the curious boy touch him. He could still be amazed by the fact that even after all that Ciel had been through his childish innocence remained within him. The knowledge that he was about to taint that innocence both thrilled Sebastian and made him feel guilty.
He was so cute. His feathery touches all over his upper body, teasing him, his wide blue eyes, his marveled little face... And not-so-suddenly Sebastian couldn't handle his trousers anymore.
"Ciel..." The tense, husky tone in which Sebastian spoke made Ciel's head jerk up, interrupting his explorations. When he saw the animalistic lustful look in those darkened orbs, a moan passed through his lips without his notice. And at the sound Sebastian's control snapped.
He furiously kissed Ciel. He grabbed the small body and pushed him into the mattress, quickly going to undo the remaining buttons of the nightshirt. Each inch of skin that was exposed made him more and more aroused. Sebastian lowered his head and went back to biting and kissing the white skin of Ciel's chest. He tore the shirt open, his heated gaze roaming all over Ciel's body, hungrily taking in the small nipples, the cute belly, the thin arms and legs, the tiny semi-hard cock that little hands tried to hide. Sebastian looked up, searching for those beautiful eyes that showed...
Nervosism.
Fear.
Oh, my.
Suddenly all sense came back to the demon, and he noticed that he had been scaring the poor boy. Guilt filled him and he removed his hands from where they were — pushing Ciel's legs apart, — sitting up and putting some distance between them.
"I am sorry, my lord. I lost my control. Please, forgive me."
"I-it's all right. Just go a little bit slowlier."
"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Sebastian's face reflected the guilt and regret he felt as he took Ciel's hand in his and kissed the palm. He nuzzled into it, reveling in the warmth, and closed his eyes.
Ciel was touched by his lover's concern, but he was starting to get impatient. So he smiled and said:
"Sebastian, come back here and finish what you've started. And that's an order."
The man did as he was told, but now he was painstakingly gentle. He ignored his demonic urges that told him to just flip the boy over and take him, instead concentrating himself in Ciel only.
Said boy was now on his lap, his back to Sebastian's chest and his head tossed back as Sebastian gently moved two fingers inside him. His other hand was stroking Ciel's erection, distracting him from the discomfort, and his master was making himself a wonderful display. Messy dark hair, face flushed, desperately trying to contain small moans and grunts.
As he added the third finger, he found the spot he had been looking for. Ciel's back arched and his face contorted while he screamed in pure pleasure. Sebastian couldn't stand it anymore.
Removing his fingers from Ciel's backside, he quickly unzipped his pants, freeing his aching cock. He held Ciel's hips just above the tip, turning his head to the side so he could murmur into his ear.
"Please try to relax, Ciel, or this is going to hurt more than what's necessary."
And with that he slowly pushed in, making both of them groan.
It hurt, Ciel couldn't deny it. It was a burning pain, as if he was being torn in two —he probably was. But there was the emotional satisfaction of finally becoming one with his new lover, and the promise of that spot inside him of making things better. As for Sebastian, he needed all his will to not fuck the earl senseless. Ciel was tight, hot and wet, and he just had to move.
And that's what he did. Slowly, to give Ciel time to adjust, he started moving his hips up and down, moaning low in his throat at the delicious sensation.
Ciel, getting used to the lenght inside him, started impulsioning with his thighs. It was so good. Soon he was moving as fast as he could, being helped by the strong hands that held him with a force that would leave purple bruises in the next day. He kept moving faster, harder, the hot, rock hard cock inside him reaching deeper with each thrust.
They could have been rocking together for minutes or for hours. It seemed so fast, yet it was like an eternity. But they were at their limits, and neither could hold off much longer.
Ciel would make the slutty type in bed. The way he shamelessly moaned and moved proved it. Just to think of the things he would be able to do to this boy made Sebastian lose it. He shuddered and growled as he came inside his partner, his seed coating his inner walls.
Ciel's eyes snapped open and he screamed as he exploded in his first orgasm. White spurts of cum fell all over his stomach and thighs. The warm feeling of Sebastian's seed within him was too intense, and the strong waves of pleasure made him blind to anything else.
When they finally calmed down, Sebastian pulled out of the spent child and buttoned his trousers. He gently laid Ciel on the bed, grabbing the torn nightshirt to clean the cooling sperm. It was improper, but it would do for the moment.
When he was about to get up and leave, however, a small hand tugged at his wrist.
"Stay." Ciel mumbled, his eyelids already becoming heavy. Sebastian smiled and laid beside him, his arms sneaking around the thin waist.
"You know that from now on this is going to be a part of our routine, right?" Ciel smirked, his eyes closing.
"I am looking forward to it, my lord." Sebastian laughed. Now things would be very interesting.
"Stay here until I wake up tomorrow."
"Yes, my lord... my Ciel." He snuggled into the body he held in his arms, the warm embrace lulling both to sleep.
That night, Ciel didn't have any more nightmares.