Words That Tear Your Throat Out
A One-shot by Grace_in_Chaos
"Wait." I breathed, sure that if I didn't do this now I'd not only regret it, but I may never be able to get the courage again.
He pulled back infinitesimally, still hovering over me, his weight pressing me into the mattress, breathing heavily.
"Did you change your mind?" he asked, traces of concern for me in his eyes. "If you're not ready, we can wait longer…"
"No." I breathed, interrupting him, longing to loose myself in him. But I knew that it had to be now. "But I have to tell you something. Something important." I took a deep breath. "If I don't…I'd never…I just have to tell you. I've waited too long as it is."
"What are you talking about?" He asked, rolling off of me and onto his side. "What's wrong?"
I bit my lip, unsure of how to tell him what I knew I needed to. How do you even tell someone something like this? I felt like there should be a sheet of instructions out there.
"About six months before I met you, I found something out. Something important. But I didn't want to tell anyone, least of all you, once we had met. I didn't want you to treat me differently. It would have ruined everything – because it wouldn't have been real, not fully. The thing is, when I was abroad, you remember?" He nodded, even though he hadn't known me back then. "Well, when I got back from my weekend in Singapore, I wasn't feeling well. Sick to my stomach, you know?" He nodded again, brows furrowed in concentration. "And at first, I just thought it would go away – I'd been sick like this before, ever since I got to China months before. I just thought my system was sensitive, the Chinese food wasn't prepared like I was used to." I paused, watching him watch me with confusion. "But it never got better. It didn't get dramatically worse, either, but I just never got better. I could barely eat." Another pause, as I tucked my long hair behind my ear. "So when I finally went home, I went to the doctor, trying to see if they could figure anything out. At first, they said it was nothing – I just needed to eat better, get some rest, that sort of thing. But then I went to a specialist that my friend works for. And he found something. It's a type of bacteria, that most people encounter at some point in their lives. Usually it's completely harmless and just passes through your system. But sometimes, it's different, sometimes it can turn…well, fatal."
He was silent, looking at me in shock. I figured he'd react like this – I'd kept him in the dark for so long, I was really hitting him out of left field. It was probably best if I just kept talking. Poor guy.
"I've been to see everyone – all the best doctors around. But it's always the same thing, the disease is killing me. They say it's not contagious, which is good, but they can't do anything about it. We've tried everything, but it's destroying my digestive tract. Eventually I won't be able to process food at all." I stopped, trying to keep my composure as his hand found mine and gripped hard. I sat up, Indian style. "They said I had 2-3 years at the time, and that was a few months ago."
His incoherent exclamation stopped my speech as he too sat up, grabbing my other hand in the process. "No." He said. "No, I don't…understand."
"Edward, I'm dying." I stated simply, letting the words that I had fearfully trapped within me finally burst free.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed that! It's just a little something I wrote up a while back, and thought you all would enjoy. I don't have plans to turn it into a full story, but I guess I wouldn't rule that completely out. But for now, I just wanted to share a little something with you. Hope everyone is doing well!