A/N: The past is in italics. Enjoy-
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Masking Tape For The Broken Hearted
- Dearly Departed
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"George! I've had enough. E-nough. My legs, they're staying closed." Callie bats his hand away as it tries to snake under her shorts for what feels like the hundredth time that morning. Never has she regretted calling in sick as much as she does right now. God is playing her back with actually making her ill. Or at least sore enough to want to spend the day in bed and no, not in that way.
"Cal-"
"No." She replies without looking at him. And she's afraid. Scared to death of this weird little limbo and what happens when they stop. What happens when George drops the act and realizes that his dad is dead, gone forever, and there is nothing that they can do to fix that. But as much as she's dreading being the person that is around when he breaks, she is kind of looking forward to it too because this crazy parallel hell that they are treading in is exhausting and so fake it hurts. She's cried over Harold's death more than George has at this point and she didn't even know the man that well.
"Ok."
And at that she flips over, "Yeah?"
"Sure."
"Oh thank God." She breathes in and snuggles a little more into his side. "It's not normal George." She says after a while of hand tangling and hair toying.
"I know." He says softly, "But it helps me. It's what I have." And he leaves it at that.
"We should order breakfast."
"We are not at the Archfield." George reminds her, not being able to stop the smile that spreads across his face.
"That," she tells him reaching for her phone, "doesn't matter at all." She scrolls through the list of contacts, and sure she's embarrassed that this is on speed dial but powdery french toast sounds so delicious she doesn't care, "What do you want?"
"You pick." He murmurs into her wild curls.
She orders, drops the phone on the nightstand and turns over to look at his voided out face, "It's okay to be sad...or angry-"
"I can't." Is all he replies before raising a hand to her ribs and tickling her effectively changing the tempo of the morning.
"Okay! Okay! Uncle!" Callie screams to what she is sure is the displeasure of their roommates but she's the one in a relationship so screw them. When he pulls his cool fingers away she stills them over her thumping heart, just for a second so he can feel what it's like to be alive. "What do you want to do today?"
"Watch Kung Fu and be with you." He replies instantly and hops up to find the remote.
She pecks his lips as he makes his way to stand. Maybe it's not the best of circumstances but she was picked for once so there will be no complaining. He doesn't need it right now and she loves him enough to understand.
~-~-~-~-~-~
A loud clank from a glass being dropped on the counter brings her back from the memory. That was a good day with George. She didn't have many but that breakfast in bed was one of the best she's ever had.
She runs her fingers over the rim of her cup before cranking the shot back and unceremoniously demanding more from the busy bartender.
Alcohol goes with hazy memories. It helps dull the ache.
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"Miss me?" Mark grins, pulling back the hotel room door.
His hips are bare and there is something insanely enticing about the fact that he has no qualms about opening the door completely naked. "Clearly." Callie huffs and storms forward.
"What's the attitude about?"
"Nothing." She replies before he can even complete the sentence.
"You came to me." Mark tells her as she commandeers the end of his bed and kicks out of her short heels.
"He did it. He cheated on me." The tears flood out angrily, the ones she has been trying to keep a handle on since she suspected skanky Isobel Stevens was more than just a friend.
"He's a fool. We all knew that." Mark slides in next to her and guides her head to his warm shoulder.
It feels so second nature to be pressed up against him that Callie can't help but capture his lower lip between hers. Ten seconds later she's being pushed back.
"You'll regret it."
"I won't." She insists.
"You will," Mark nods, "You aren't that woman. Now, I'm more than willing but not like this. Let's go out, get you liquored up and then I will take advantage. I will take advantage many, many times."
Callie agrees, groping around for her shoes with her feet, knowing that things are to be done on Mark's terms. "I let him meet my dad."
"Who?"
"George." Callie rolls her eyes and wipes her cheeks. "And he yelled at him for me, he stood up to him but...I don't think it was even about me...and now he's met my dad and my mom wants to throw a crazy party and they are flying out here in a month and I lived in a basement and I just...can't. They already think what I did was morally repulsive. I can't let them be right. They are always right."
"I'll fill in." Mark offers, emerging from the bathroom and now dressed in yesterday's clothes.
"Are you listening? He met my dad!"
"I could take him." Mark grins, that stupid shit eating grin and Callie can't help but stop the pity party.
"You could not take him. You'd be terrified. You'd piss in your pants if you met my father."
"I met Addison's father. You can't top that man. I was holding onto my fork for dear life and I wasn't even the one getting married to her." He jokes.
"I need to drink." Callie whines, coming to terms. "I need to drink and cry and wallow and get the hell over it."
"That's my girl." Mark says, helping her into one of his coats so she isn't cold for the duration of their outing, at least until the alcohol kicks in.
"I can do better."
"So much better."
"Thank you." Callie smiles being lead from the room. "I needed that."
"Only you." Mark says lightly, sending a shiver down her back, and she doesn't doubt for a second that he means it.
"Mark-" Callie begins, sensing the thing that she always feels around him- this odd pull. One of something that screams love or lust or a weird combination only he could conjure up. It's unnerving and she can't handle it yet. Stupid drunk sex with a manwhore- yes, meaningful conversation and subsequent screwing with someone who actually will give a crap in morning- no.
"I know," He says, "I'll give you a few weeks but for the record- I deserve a date. And I don't take no for an answer."
"So I've learned." She replies wittily, happy that the subject can be dropped temporarily.
"I have a lot more to teach."
"I bet you do."
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"Another?" Joe asks politely trying to get Callie back from La-La Land. "Dr. Torres."
"Joe." Callie replies, flashing back and gritting her teeth in frustration of the real time.
"You want me to call you a cab sweetie?"
"Nope. I'm good. Keep 'em comin'." She points to the glass and waits for the magical liquid to rise.
Maybe one day she'll be able to drown in it.
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"It's not that she's a bad resident or that she's a bad surgeon she's just so God damn annoying." Erica says by way of explaining her hate of Cristina.
"Yeah, but she's my roommate now and...you have to teach. It's a teaching hospital."
"I got that memo. Several times. Thank you."
"Look, shit, I'm sorry Erica. Let's just drop it." Callie reaches for her fork and nearly knocks her water to the floor. Erica steadies her hand, the goosebumps on her skin that jump aren't avoidable.
"No shop talk." Erica says reaching for a piece of bread.
"Good idea." Callie agrees and watches the way her lips part and then press together. She has no idea what has come over her. If only her parents could see her now.
"So, what do you do?"
"What?"
"Well, what do you do for fun?"
"Outside of cutting people open and snapping their bones back into place?" Callie reaches for her knife to butter the roll on her small plate.
"Yeah, what sorts of things do you enjoy? Hobbies."
Callie can hear the words coming out, she knows what they are and what they mean and that she should reply but she's too mesmerized and it's wholly frightening. This entire thing has been. And now they are on their tenth date, not that she's counting, and she's still nervous. Even though they have gone there, several times. "You know what I like."
"Yeah cartoons and yoga when one should be sleeping." Erica snorts and reaches for the bottle of red wine to top them both off.
"I got your ass into excellent shape if I do say so myself."
"I'm not complaining." Erica says sweepingly and then dismisses the subject. "Can we talk work now? Have we pretended that we are normal human beings long enough to get back to the good stuff?"
Callie purses her lips, feigning thought, and finally gives in when she receives a sturdy kick under the table to her shin. "I suppose, but no talking bad about my roommate of choice."
"What about Grey then?"
"Which one?"
"There's two?" Erica asks confused.
"Yes. Meredith and Lexie. Lexie is an intern this year. Different mothers, I believe." She's happy her family is whole. Insane and at times just waiting for catastrophe but the tree of relations is not snapped or broken, it's easy to follow.
"Jesus that place is like a mating ground. They reproduce like rabbits."
Callie laughs despite rather liking both Greys. "It's one of its better attributes, I think."
"Fair enough." Erica raises her glass, "To not being related to anyone we work with."
"Cheers," Callie responds, heartily swooshing some of the bitter liquid over her tongue. She's not big on wine but she can indulge her date every once in a while.
"We need new jobs." Erica says wistfully after they have exhausted every topic of gossip and just a touch of actual medicine.
"We'd be bored."
"True."
"Plus I met you there so it can't be all bad." Callie fills in with a great sense of accomplishment when Erica's cheeks turn bright red. She faintly hears a "You win" over the swelling of her pride and seconds later they're outside and she has Erica pinned to the door of her car. Surely not everything is horrible about Seattle Grace. It gave her hope. It gave her something new.
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"She's not talking." Joe tells Alex Karev as he slouches onto the bar stool next to Callie. "Quiet all night. I think the sky might be falling."
"Talking is overrated." Alex replies, gaining Callie's interest briefly.
"The usual?" Joe asks, already reaching for a long neck bottle.
"Yeah, and...fill her up. She looks like she needs it."
"You'll keep an eye on her then." Joe tells him having decided twenty minutes ago that he was cutting her off. He dilutes the potion and sets in front of the raven haired woman. She doesn't notice.
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"I think I love her." George says quietly. "I'm sorry Callie. I didn't mean to ruin our marriage."
And with that Callie is done. She sinks onto the mattress seriously regretting ever having opened the door for his demented apology. "Just get your stuff and leave."
In truth it was damned from the start, not that she'll admit it. She stands, straightens her pajamas and strides to the bathroom. She wanted to throw away most of his things but she wanted to sniff at his lingering scent more so she left it- to be tutored by the yesterdays of her life.
The door slams hard and wobbles long after the action but it's not satisfying in the slightest. Nothing makes this better and she doesn't understand how to deal with that.
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"I've turned over a new leaf." Mark says for the fiftieth time that afternoon when she pushes him to the mattress and straddles his lap feverishly.
"Fine. New leaf. Got it." Callie growls and reaches for the tie on his pants.
"I don't think you do." He pushes her back just a touch, just enough for her to get it.
"Oh come on Mark! This is what you do!"
He shrugs sadly and hunches over. "I'm not in the mood."
"You are always in the mood. You could be in the middle of surgery and still want to hump every nurse in the room." She doesn't know if it is true but it sounds good. "Now do what you do and come back over here." She pats the worn out bed and hopes he'll inch closer.
"This is what I am to you." It's not a question. Not as far as she can tell.
"This is what you are to everyone!"
"Right." When he exits the room quietly, more morose than she's ever seen, she knows this is serious.
Whatever the new leaf is about, it's big, and she just stomped all over it.
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"I am a person! Maybe I'm just some freak science project to you but I have feelings Callie!" Erica screams and throws a plate at the ground. Callie never figured her to be the violent one in their relationship, especially since she is usually so calm. Apparently all the pent up rage has to come out somewhere.
"I just wanted to learn. I wanted to please you." Callie argues.
"So you go to Mark fucking Sloan for pointers?"
"I thought he could help." And she knows it is wrong from the moment she breathes it out.
"You thought he could help. Well, why don't you go ask him to help you now. I'm done with...this."
"Erica-"
"No. I know I am no guru at this stuff and I'm just as scared as you but...I know better than what you did. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what betrayal looks like."
"I did this for you!" Callie screams being pushed towards Erica's front door by her mere presence.
"Well do something else for me and get the hell out." Erica crosses her arms. "Out. Now."
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When Callie looks up there is a full glass of something amber colored and someone's hand is digging in the peanut bowl in front of her.
To her left Mark is working over some nurse because apparently the leaf only applied to her and George is making out with none other than Lexie Grey, who Callie thought, was at least was smarter than that. And Erica, worst of all, is still too angry about what happened three weeks and two days ago to even attempt to move on. Callie's not sure which hurts more.
She shakes her head willing her body not to stalk over and grab darts to chuck at their necks.
What a night. She sees the hand again and finally bothers to look over. "Karev."
"You are alive." He says without thought, emotion or hesitance.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Getting drunk, you?"
"Same."
"Can I ask you something?" Callie suddenly says after a long silence that included watching Mark retrieve the petite blonde's coat and purse from a few feet away. She glared. He didn't notice. He rarely does these days, considering she spent a night yelling at him not too long ago about how he ruined a very good thing in her life.
"Sure. Why not." Alex replies and takes another pull from his wonderful bottle.
"What is it about Izzie Stevens that I do not get 'cause men seem to be all-"
"Don't do this to yourself." Alex cuts her off.
"What?" Her minds swirls with all the relics of her former relationships gone sour.
"I'll tell you if you really want to know but you'll just forget the entire conversation and it'll ruin a perfectly horrible evening."
"Okay." Callie pouts, looking around for the cup of salvation that has somehow disappeared.
"You're too hot for him anyway." Alex plainly states after a few minutes of awkwardness.
"Who?"
"O'Malley. He's a fetus and you're too hot to be with a fetus."
Callie curls her nose, "Yeah but-"
"And he's too hot for you, no offense."
"Mark." She states. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's not. Whichever. She doesn't feel like arguing the beauty she is no longer in touch with. "And Erica-"
"Dude. No." Alex chuckles, "No."
He waits until she's come to a little more; waits until the crowd has thinned out and Joe has that look in his eye that says he's ready to kick people to the curb. "I think we're a good match."
"You and me?" Callie asks as sarcastically as she can.
"Yeah. We balance each other out."
"You dated a crazy woman."
"So did you." He quips instantly.
"Touché Karev." Callie laughs heartily, alcohol still running strong enough to leave her a little giddy.
"Wanna get out of here?"
Callie looks him over and realizes that he's serious, or at least as serious as a mini-Sloan can possibly get. And in this moment of repeat failures she has no reason to say no. George, Mark and Erica have nothing to do with Alex and yet everything to do with her saying, "Yes."
"Where to?" He asks her once they are on the sidewalk and without a vehicle, Callie still swaying a little.
"You're the one who thinks we'd be so fabulous together- you tell me."
Alex wraps an arm around her back, to keep her from meeting the cement face first, and steers them in the opposite direction of the hospital.
What she'll never say is how much she needs this after everything that has gone so incredibly wrong. What he'll never say is how much he's been thinking about asking her out ever since he got dumped for the corpse.
There have been many people, many relationships, and many personal boundaries that have stood, and will continue to stand, in their way but if there is one thing both Callie and Alex know, it's how to screw things up monumentally.
And it's always better when you can twist down the path of regret with someone who will hold your hair back when you double over on the sidewalk at three in the morning and lose your liquid dinner all over their dirty hospital shoes.
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