Title: Reality Check

Beta/Editor: LJ

Word Count: 2,900

A/N: Dated some time after January 6, 2012. Amira finally gets it.

The words 'Grounds,' Divorce' and 'Unreasonable behavior' leapt from the page and stared her down. They did not flinch. They were bold and strong and sharp. Nearly two years had passed since it all came out and she still didn't understand why she was going through this. Why was she losing her husband? Why was she suffering? She had done nothing wrong. She loved and honored her husband. And soon she would have nothing to show for it… nothing except their beautiful daughter Yasmin. She was the only good thing that came of their brief marriage. But now, even Yasmin was not hers alone. She shared Yasmin with Syed and he wanted to share their daughter with Christian, the man who ruined everything and took everything from her. It's not fair! I can't let that happen. I can't lose again. Syed loved her once. He had kissed her, made vows to her, made love to her, it couldn't have all been fake. He and Christian cannot share what we've shared. They cannot come together as a man and woman can. She and Syed had even made a wasn't sure of the logistics, but she assured herself that Syed couldn't be with Christian, like that.

She drifted in her thoughts of the past. She lingered on 'what was' and 'what could have been'. She blocked out 'what is'. A door slam snapped her back to the kitchen table. She held a cup of tea in one hand and a petition for divorce in the other. She jumped up quickly to put the papers back on the dining room table. She didn't want Syed to know she had looked at them. She had barely sat back in her chair before footsteps descended down the stairs.

"Morning," Syed's gentle voice called out to her.

"Afternoon, you mean?" She replied in a teasing tone.

"Yeah well, I was..." Syed started, but stopped abruptly. He had nearly forgotten who he was talking to; he had been with Christian last night. It wasn't nearly as racy as it sounded or as he would have liked. Christian had given him another chance, but only if they truly worked on their relationship….. slowly. Ground rules were set-chief among them was no sex and no sleep overs. That was literally killing Syed but he wanted and needed to do whatever he could to get Christian back. He owed him anything he wanted and more. He was going to respect Christian's wishes….. to an extent. A little smirk crept on to his face but he cleared it quickly.

Syed was also trying to be careful of Amira. Despite everything, she still deserved respect as the mother of his child.

He stunted the sentence and awkwardly turned to the fridge. He ducked into the bright light trying to let time erase his last words before starting again.

"So what are your plans today?" He finally asked.

"Well you know me, a little of this and a little of that."

"Right."

"Oh I do need to go over some of this contract with you…."

"Amira, I am not sure I still want…"

"You also need to redo the management plan." She spoke again, cutting him off. He started to protest, but she continued. "And we need to go to the bank to open up the savings account for our daughter."

He stared at her, making sure she was finished. She stared back at him, confident that her list of tasks would keep him busy with her all day.

"Yes, yes and yes, but later."

"Later?" She said with disappointment.

"Yes, later, I have plans right now."

"Plans, what plans?" She asked him.

"Plans with Christian," He said.

She glared at him. He stared at her. It was uncomfortable, but necessary. She should know and Syed shouldn't have to hide.

"Well I best shower and get on with my day!" He blurted out through the awkwardness. He turned to walk away, avoiding any further conversation.

As Syed walked past the dining room he saw the blue folder lying on the table. It was laid out as if it had been read, like he needed to notice it. He picked up the folder. A wave of excitement washed over him. He had been waiting for this for months. Despite her denying him a divorce, everyday he talked and pleaded with her to let him go. Every day he spent more time with Christian. Hopefully, if she could see that they were serious, that this is what he wanted, she would want to let go. He thought he had been making progress. Maybe today would be the day that she finally understood and accepted the truth. He opened the folder and carefully flipped to the last page. He saw his name inscribed perfectly in the first blank, the applicant. But the respondent blank was bare. Amira still had not signed the papers. His body tensed. He drew in a deep breath trying to fight the anger and frustration that welled up inside him.

"Amira!" Syed called to her.

"Yes?" She answered so sweetly that he almost believed that she did not know what he wanted.

When he walked in to the hall he held up the folder. His eyebrows were raised in a stern, questioning glance. "Why have you not signed this?"

"Oh well I haven't…" she began but he cut her off sharply.

"I gave it to you almost 2 weeks ago." He said in an elevated tone. "What are you waiting for?"

"Well I did tell you that I didn't want a divorce," She said, "And I honestly haven't read it yet."

Syed sighed in disgust. "Amira, please! We have been over this. There is no reason for us to be married."

"There is no reason for us to be divorced either!" She retorted.

"I want to marry someone else. Why don't you understand that?" Syed asked, trying to keep his voice from shouting.

"It won't be a real marriage, so what difference does it make? You don't need to get married."

"It will be real to me! It makes a difference to us."

"You want to leave me with nothing, don't you?" She asked with wide troubled eyes.

"Don't give me that." He said as he looked away. She was trying to soften him, work him.

"It's true!" She yelled at him. Her eyes welled with tears, some fake, some real.

"My parents will not kick you out. You are the mother of my child. I will not abandon you…" He said, trying to make the reassurance mask the frustration. "I just can't be bound to you. I can't live my life with you. And you need to move on."

"I don't want to move on."

"Amira! I'm gay! I am not questioning, I am not interested, I am. Period. I always…" He trailed off. He didn't need to finish. Saying more would be hurtful and he didn't want to hurt her. He took a step back to gather his thoughts and try to change the tone of the conversation. It had gotten ugly quickly. And if he pushed too hard, she would shut down.

"Look. Look at what we do… It's not good for us. It's not good for Yasmin." Syed sighed heavily. "I don't want to fight with you. All is not lost, we can still have a friendship, we can salvage something but only if you do this." He handed her the papers and headed upstairs.

About twenty minutes later Syed returned from upstairs, freshly showered. He usually doesn't wear cologne but there was just a hint of fragrance on top of the soap scent. His dark hair was combed into some semblance of order but still maintained a touch of unruliness. His jeans were a comfortable fit and dark. He was wearing a top Amira had never seen on him before. It was dark blue and tight. He looked really, really good. I can't let him leave looking like that, she thought.

"Uh…Before you go, are you sure you can't go over these lists?"

"I haven't got time. I'm almost late."

"It will only take a second." She interjected.

"Amira. I know what you're doing."

"I'm not doing..."

"It can wait. I've got to go." And with that Syed sprinted out the door.