A Teacher's Wisdom
A high school girl cautiously peeked around the corner from the empty classroom into the corridor. A cluster of male students stood some distance away, talking heartily and clutching their school bags. The girl's eyes were latched onto one particular boy – watching his face, the way he smiled, and the movement of his hand when he occasionally smoothed the hair on the back of his head. She felt content observing him, though at the same time she wished she had the guts to pass by and say hello, at least. She hovered there for a few more minutes, wistfully watching her crush and his friends until they split apart, saying goodbye and leaving for the day. The schoolgirl longingly watched the object of her affection walk away, and sighed. Maybe another day.
"Satou-san?"
The girl looked over her shoulder, startled. Her homeroom teacher was approaching the classroom. "Oh, hello again, Minagawa-sensei," she said with a respectful bow. "I was just about to leave. Sorry."
"No, that's fine," replied her teacher. "Are you going to a club, or home, if I may ask?"
"Uh…home," Satou answered with a deep sigh. Home again, having made no success in interacting with him yet again. She glanced down the hall, and saw that he was just opening the door to go outside. And then, in an instant, he was gone.
Motoko Minagawa had followed her young student's gaze, and she smiled slightly to herself. It was easy for her to see exactly what was going on. Looking at Satou, she could see a mirror of her own self back in high school, after having laid eyes on the boy she'd named "The Prince". It brought back memories…very bittersweet memories. "Do you know that boy?" she gently asked Satou.
Satou looked up at Motoko, then quickly averted her eyes. "Not really," she admitted. "No."
"Your cheeks are pink," Motoko said with a bit of amusement.
"Eh…" Satou reached up to touch her face, which was currently turning from dark pink to bright red. "I'm going to get to know him one of these days," she declared. "I'm just waiting…the thing is, I've heard around that he also might like me, so I want to see if he'll say something first," she finished. How embarrassing; now Minagawa-sensei knew!
"Waiting?..." Motoko echoed, her eyes taking on a faraway look. Satou had never seen that expression on her teacher's face before, and she watched her curiously. After a few seconds Motoko looked back at the teenage girl. "I'm afraid that may be a mistake, Satou-san," she replied.
"Hm?" Satou looked uneasy.
"I don't want to keep you from going home," Motoko said, "but may I offer some advice? I was in your position once."
"…sure." Satou moved a few inches to lean her weight against the wall. Teachers think us falling in love is so funny and cute. Why can't she just laugh and let me go? she thought desperately.
Motoko looked directly into her student's eyes in a soft and understanding way. "You don't want to wait for him," she stated in a low voice. "Because there is a likely chance that he will never come."
Satou stared back at Motoko. What?
"I know this is an awkward subject," Motoko said, "but believe me, you don't want to get hurt." She could see that her student was a little confused, but she continued. "You have to speak up. Try to start a conversation with him. Show him that you want to be friends, and with luck, you can grow from friends to something greater. You see…you must start as friends. It's the only way to really get to know a person." Motoko paused. "It's the natural way to begin a romantic relationship, and the best way to make it last." It was so many years ago, and yet the past felt like only yesterday…
"Oh…I see," said Satou slowly. "Um…I wouldn't mind starting as friends. As long as I get to know him at all!"
"That's good," said Motoko softly. "That way you probably won't make him uncomfortable."
There was a silence. Satou couldn't help but notice how sad her teacher looked, and she realized that Minagawa-sensei was speaking from the heart.
Motoko heaved a sigh. "I figured out this stuff too late," she said. "I went about getting to my high school dream guy in a completely different way. You know what I did? I was obsessive. I found out absolutely everything I could about him, while barely speaking to him. I wrote poems about the two of us; I even started his own personal fanclub…" Satou looked very surprised at that, but couldn't speak as Motoko went on. "I was convinced I was looking out for him, but…I wasn't even respecting him myself," the teacher admitted, more to herself than Satou.
"I – I understand," said Satou, wishing she could cheer up Minagawa-sensei somehow. "I'll remember your advice. I can tell you know what you're talking about," she added reassuringly.
"Well…I just don't want to see any girl make the same mistakes I did," Motoko told her with a sad smile. "You can't just wait. If that happens…you won't remember anything about high school except how much time you wasted waiting. You'll never know if he wants to be friends if you don't even try."
Satou stood there and tried to imagine her teacher as a schoolgirl, pining after this boy she'd mentioned, and only hurting herself in the meantime. Satou didn't want to end up that way too. Why did she have to be so darned shy? But was there any other way? Her crush hardly looked at her, and he never said anything to her. In fact, he seemed to have a very small and select group of friends that Satou would give anything to become part of. Minagawa-sensei had a point.
Satou put down her bag momentarily and bowed to her homeroom teacher. "Thank you, Minagawa-sensei. I promise I'll try."
"Have a good afternoon, Satou-san. I'll see you tomorrow."
Motoko watched Satou go down the corridor before stepping into the classroom to lock up. I never loved Yuki Sohma, she thought to herself. I was infatuated with him, that's all. I only hope he forgives me. She paused, still thinking, as she picked up her purse and reached for the light switch. It was the idea of him and me together that I actually loved.
I never really liked Motoko very much, but I realized that there was another side to her situation that deserved some attention, a lesson that just took a long time for her to learn. I appreciate any readers, and even more so any reviews and critiques!