Disclamer: I own neither 'Spooks' nor Ruth nor Harry. In fact, I own nothing.
Coldness
The chill as she stood on the deck of the barge was almost unbearable. The tips of her fingers slowly begun to turn blue as she watched the London skyline slip past her, away from her and a bitter laugh escaped her throat unbidden- In order that she might save the man she loved, she had to leave him behind her in London with that love unsaid. If this had have been an Austen or Brontë novel like the well-thumbed paperbacks sitting forlornly left on her bookcase, this would not have been allowed to happen. He would have saved her, done anything for her, died even; This plot twist would have been inconceivable.
She wondered whether she would see him in the distance through the mist, a shadowy figure standing on the dockside, looking every inch as lost as she felt, if she only turned around. Or perhaps he had already left, slipped into his chauffeur-driven car and slunk back to his life without a second thought of her sacrifice for him. She didn't move though. Sometimes it was better to not know, accept uncertainties rather than having to possibly face the bitter truth.
No longer was she Ruth Evershed, she was Sybil Pearce, that was one truth which she must face. She cursed Malcolm under her breath for his audacity in choosing that rather terrible name; How was she meant to forget, move on with a name such as that? It was rather an infelicity really, she thought, giving her the name of a prophetess (for she could never have foreseen this) and furthermore Harry's surname, of all the surnames of the world he could have chosen, why that one? Although in her daydreams she had always thought that maybe someday that surname would be hers, but then in that daydream she had been wearing a white dress too.
Would he remember her ten years from now? It was entirely possible even her faithful cats would have forgotten her in a decade's time, she thought with a sigh.
Please review. This is my first ever fanfic and I would really appreciate any feedback that you may care to give.