You hate yourself
for caring about him
for thinking about him
for missing him.
But you can't help it.
It doesn't matter how hard you try
to forget him
because he's a part of your past
(but not your present or future)
and the past is something you can never change.
x
Your memory is haunted with
his laugh
his grin
his presence.
You two used to do everything together.
He was always right there, by your side.
And sometimes you wonder
what happened?
what went wrong?
But you know the answer
(it's in the mirror.)
x
It had nothing to do with
you being all redandgold
and him being all greenandsilver.
It had everything to do with
you leaving him alone
to fend for himself
(and you hate yourself for it.)
But you can't take it back because it happened in the past
and the past is something you can never change.
x
So, thanks to you, your kid brother is
a Death Eater
a monster
a murderer.
No matter what anyone says
you know it's your fault
(because he didn't leave you – you left him.)
And now you can regret all you want
(you can regret your selfishness, your teasing, your jealousy)
but it won't matter because
he hates you for what you caused him to become
(almost as much as you hate yourself.)
x
And when the news reaches you that he is gone
it pushes you to your b-r-e-a-k-i-n-g point.
There's not one thing that your Marauders
can say or do
because they don't (can't) understand.
(They've never killed their younger brother)
and that's what you did.
(You know it makes you worse than any Death Eater.)
x
You took him for granted.
You expected him to just always be there.
You killed him.
And, now, you would d to take those things back
(because you loved him more than you let on)
but it is useless
because they're in the past
and the past is something you can never change.
Oooh, writing freeverse is so much fun! I messed around with stylizing a bit more with this one and I liked how it came out.
Please review!
Thanks mew for betaing! I gotta ask, "R u becoming a prep or what?"
:P