My mom was sending me off to my dad's for the summer while she got Melanie.
Aparently, he wanted to spend time with me. Yeah, it took 16 fucking years before my dad actually wanted to see me.
He lived in New York, which meant clubs and partying. I even got Rip-off Rodney to make me a fake ID.
Carly of course cried and hugged me till I couldn't breathe. She told me to have fun, call or text her everyday, and that she would miss me.
I really didn't wanna leave, but my mom was forcing me to go. Freddie's goodbye was strange. He hugged me and told me he would miss me alot. He looked as if he wanted to kiss me. But I was probably just crazy.
As I was getting on the plane, my mom hugged me and said, "I'll miss you." She actually sounded like she cared.
After I arrived, I was actually was a bit nervous to meet my dad.
Melanie always went on and on about how awesome he was, but I never cared or listened.
In the 16 years I've been alive, my father never tried to talk to me or anything.
He only cared about Melanie, since she was perfect.
I stepped off the plane and took a deep breath.
He was waiting for me in baggage claim, I could tell it was him from pictures when he was with my mom.
"Sam." He smiled at me, looking me up and down.
I shrugged and said in a careless tone, "Marshall."
He looked a bit hurt, but kept his smile, "Honey, I'm your dad."
"Oh, I know. I prefer calling you Marshall." I smirked at him.
He sighed and looked down. I could tell he regreted telling me to come here.
The sooner he hated me, the quicker I could go back to Carly, my mom and Fr-ied chicken.
I grabbed my bag quietly, then Marshall took me to his car.
We were both silent until we got to his apartment.
"Well?" He asked as we stepped in.
I looked around, it was clean, neat, and smelled like some fake spray.
"I like my mom's house better." And I headed down the hall, I was about to walk into Melanie's room when I saw a door that said 'Sam.'
Strange. I opened the door and I was shocked.
The room was HUGE. There were pictures from the iCarly webisodes all over my room, as well as pictures of meat.
There was a mini fridge full of meat, soda, and Fat Cakes. The room was painted black, green, and purple. The TV was a flat screen, and it had a PS3 and a Xbox-360 next to it. There was a huge rack of CDs and a CD player which was also a Pear-Pod/Pear-Phone dock.
On a desk which was also in the room, there was a Pear-Pad. "Holy fuck..." I muttered. Marshall came in, and put his arm around his shoulders.
"You like it? I watched all your iCarly episodes with Melly and she helped me design this."
I hugged him for a quick second and smiled, "I love it."
He seemed shocked, but smiled. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Night Sammy."
"Night Marsh."
It was around 1am when I left the apartment.
I was sneaking out to go to a club. The clothes I was wearing were kinda revealing, but hey, if I wanted to have some fun, Mamma needed a guy.
When I got to the club, I was forced to wait in line.
Some hot guy came up to me and held out his hand, "Hey babe, I'm Fredrick. And you are?" (AN: Pretend Fredrick is Max Ehrich.)
I shook his hand, and then twisted him into a unconfortable position, pushing him against the wall. He winced.
"Sam, and if you ever call me babe again I will do things so bad to you, you will not be able to walk again." I whispered in his ear.
Fredrick shivered, then said in a shakey voice, "O-Okay."
"Good." I smirked and stepped back from him, he fell on the ground then got up slowly and stared at me.
I checked him out, he looked good enough to be my boyfriend. "So Sam, you have a number?" I shruged, still smirking at him.
"It depends, you think you have what it takes to please Mamma?" He smirked back at me, and leaned close.
"Yes, I think I do." We were about to kiss when some girl behind us yelled at us to move up in line.
Me and Fredrick moved up, but we didn't take our eyes off of each other.
I yawned as leaned back on my bed, eating a fat cake and watching TV.
It had been a week since I met Fredrick. We started dating five days ago.
Carly was excited for me and said she and Spencer might come visit.
Freddie, on the other hand, seemed kinda sad when I told him.
But I ignored it, Fredie couldn't possibly be jealous.
I got a text from Fredrick, he wanted to meet me at Central Park.
I grabbed a comb, brushed my hair quickly, then tossed on some jeans, a Penny Tee and and a pair of converse.
He gave me a quick kiss when I arrived. "Hello gorgeous, wanna go to Club 17?" "Hell yeah!" I smirked and messed up his hair.
We arrived to the club and it was packed, as usual.
After we finally got in, Fredrick got us some drinks. I drank one, but Fredrick just kept drinking.
I didn't mind. I had gotten drunk a few times myself, most times with Carly and one other time with Freddie.
"Wannaaa danceee?" He slurred in my ear.
I nodded and we started dancing, Fredrick kept trying to grind against me, but I kept pushing him away. After doing that for a while, he pushed me to the ground and said, "Fuckkk you Sammmmyyy." Then walked off.
I ran home, trying not to cry. What the hell was wrong with him?
And that, was the first time Fredrick had hurt me.
It had been two weeks since that day he pushed me down. Fredrick had said sorry about 50 times, and I finally agreed to go out with him again.
I didn't tell anyone about what had happened. Not even Carly.
Fredrick said we should hang out at his house and gave me his address. I lied to Marshall and said I was going over to some friend's house.
When I arrived Fredrick hugged me, "I'm so fucking sorry Sam. I never meant to do that. I was drunk and I couldn't control myself."
I laughed softly and hit him playfully on the arm, "I know, I know!"
We walked into his living room and I sat on his couch, "Where are your parents?"
He shruged, "They kicked me out a few years ago."
I felt sorry for him, "Wow."
"It's alright, I don't really care anymore." He went into the kitchen then came out with two 6-packs of beer.
I really didn't want to drink, but I took a beer anyways.
Fredrick put on some movie called Kick-Ass. After about half-way threw, Fredrick had drank 10 beers. He started kissing my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"No, stop it." I shivered as he ripped my shirt off. "Whyyyy?" He chuckled and started kissing lower, I let a moan escape my lips.
I tried to push him off, but my strength was failing me.
Fredrick laughed evilly taking off his own shirt before continuing.
That was the night I was raped for the first time.
I had officially been staying with Marshall for a month.
Marshall had taken me to alot of places and had been spending time with me.
He was actually a pretty awesome dad, if you forget the fact that he never talked to me for sixteen years.
It was helping me deal with Fredrick.
I had some how fallen for him, he was just so amazing sober.
I had never told him he raped me, since he couldn't remember it.
We had still been hanging out at his place, he hadn't got drunk for a few days.
Tonight, we were gonna be playing some new game that just came out.
As long as there was killing, blood, the mention of meat, and hot guys in the game, I would be content.
It was midnight when I got over to Fredrick's. I knocked on the door.
He opened the door and slurred, "Comeee innn."
I walked in. "You're drunk." He stumbled over to me, smirking. "Of courseeee I ammm babeeee."
"I told you to never call me babe again." He pushed me against the wall and twisted my wrist.
"What areee yaaa gonnnnaa dooo boooout it Bucketttt?" His alcoholic breath seeped into my nose.
"It's PUCKETT you idiot." Fredrick's expression turned dark.
He slapped me hard then started pulling my hair, I was too shocked to hurt him or push him off.
"Takeeee datttt backkkkk." He pulled my hair harder, almost lifting me off the ground, but I growled.
"Never." Fredrick pushed me to the floor and started kicking me hard.
I screamed, hoping that I would ethier gain the strength to hurt him or that someone would hear me and call the cops.
But no one ever came. That night, I gained 12 scars and 57 bruises.
Three weeks. Three weeks since my boyfriend had physically abused me.
Carly was coming to visit me. I picked her up at the airport around noon.
We hung out all day shopping and checking out guys-well Carly was, I was just thinking about Fredrick.
Around 9'O-Clock, we met up with him. Carly didn't know about the bad things he did, just the good things.
"Hey Babe." Fredrick kissed me and I kissed back, loving the way it felt.
Carly cleared her throat and we pulled away. "Oh right. Carly this is Fredrick, Fredrick this is Carly."
She shook his hand and giggled, "I've heard so much about you."
Fredrick gave me a quick glance, "Good stuff, right?"
Carly looked confused for a moment, "Of course! Why? Is there bad stuff?"
I rolled my eyes, "Psh! Of course not!" She could hear a bit of lying in my voice, but ignored it, "Well, are we just gonna stand around or go in?"
We were at some club, Carly still hadn't figured out it was a over 21 club.
After we got in, Carly's eyes widened. "We're at a strip club, aren't we?" Carly stared at me, I smirked.
"Why, yes Shay. We are." Me and Fredrick laughed.
She sighed. "What am I gonna do with you Sam?"
I shruged and dragged her off to the dance floor, forgeting abotu Fredrick.
Me and Carly danced for about 20 minutes before Fredrick came up to us.
"Heyyyy Ladieeeessss." He slurred.
Carly raised her eybrows, "Are you...drunk?"
"Yessss, I am beautifulllll." I felt scared, what if Fredrick hurt her or raped her?
"I think we should get you home, come on Sam help me." We carried him outside then got him a cab.
We told the cab driver to drive him home and made sure he got inside, and not to do anything else because he was drunk.
After the cab driver left, Carly turned to me, staying silent. "Sam." She finally said. "Shay." I replied quietly.
She shook her head, "What has he done to you?"
I sighed. It was now or never. "He raped me, hurt me, gave me scars, and made me fall in love with him."
Carly looked shocked. "Sam..."
"I gotta go. My dad said not to stay out too late." I ran home crying.
How the hell did I let a guy do this to me? When I got home there was a note on the counter.
Aparently he had to work another shift at the hospital, and wouldn't be back till six in the morning.
"Good." I whispered to myself.
I went to the bathroom and got out my razor, then sat on the shower floor.
"This is for you Fredrick." The blade ran down my skin slowly.
Lemme tell you, it hurt like fucking hell. I wanted to stop, but then that would make me a wimp.
After I made 3 cuts on each of my arms, I washed the blade off then watched myself bleed.
I didn't realize I fell asleep till I heard my dad open the door. "shit." I quickly turned on the shower and started washing off my cuts.
I whimpered a few times because of the pain. Why was I so stupid, I should have left my arms alone.
After I finshed washing off, I took off my wet clothes and wrapped up in a towel.
Hoping my dad wasn't outside my bathroom door.
Thank God, he wasn't.
I snuck into my room and put on some clothes. "Hey Sammy." I jumped, then saw it was Marshall.
"H-Hey Dad." He smiled widely.
"You called me dad." I laughed softly.
"Damn." He hugged me, and I tried not to scream from the pain of my arms.
I ignored Carly until we had to both go back to Seattle.
It was the last day I was gonna be in New York.
Marshall cried at the airport. I had to tell him I was gonna be late in order for him to let go of me.
Just as I was about to go through security Fredrick showed up.
"SAM!" He tackled me with a hug and I hugged back.
This was gonna be the last time I was gonna see him for a while.
My cuts still hurt, but I learned to deal with the pain. "I love you Sam." I stared at him, but smiled.
"I love you too Fredrick." We kissed for a minute then I ran off to get to my plane.
I saw Carly at the gate, I had almost forgotten we had seats next to each other. Greatttt.
She walked up to me, "Hey Sam."
"Carls." You could seriously feel the awkward right now.
"We need to talk about this..." I sighed and pulled up the sleeves of my sweater.
Carly stood speechless. Suddenly some girl who was about our age came up to us. "OMG! YOU'RE SAM AND CARLY FROM iCARLY!" She pulled us into a hug.
"Hey, sorry, but me and Sam are talking about something. Could you give us some privacy?"
The girl looked kinda hurt, but then smiled. "Okay then!" She skipped off.
"Sam! How could you?" I looked down.
"I just had to." Carly hugged me carefully, as if I was something that could brake easily.
"Oh Sam." We held each other and cried.
It was midnight when we got to Seattle.
On the flight, I told Carly all about Fredrick.
Pretty much how when he was drunk, he was a monster. But when he was sober, he was everything I ever wanted in a guy.
Carly said I should break up with him, and notice someone else that was right in front of my eyes.
She was hiding something, but I couldn't tell what it was. After we got our luggage I was suprised to see not only my mom and Spencer, but Freddie waiting for us too.
Freddie was holding a purple rose, with some goofy-yet hot, smile on his face.
I walked up to him and smirked, "Still trying to impress Carly, eh?"
"Nope." He shook his head and handed me the rose, smirking. Before I could say anything my mom attacked me with a hug. "I missed you Sammy. Melanie was fun, but she wasn't you."
"Mom..." We hugged each other for about a minute before I went to greet Spencer.
"Hey kiddo." He ruffled my hair and smiled that goofy, un-adult smile.
"Hello Spence." We hugged for a few seconds. "I heard about that boy, I hope you guys didn't have too much fun." He winked at me and I winked back.
I laughed, even though it hurt to think the bad things Fredrick did.
After we all talked for a bit, me and my mom headed towards the car.
I turned around and saw Freddie following us.
"Um, Freddork, I know you missed me. But do you really have to stalk me?" I smirked.
He smirked back at me, "Actually, my mom is at some Agressive Parenting Conference, and your mom said I could stay over."
Freddie grabbed my bags and put them in the trunk as I got in the car.
"Mom. How long is Fredward staying over?" She shruged. "He never told me how long his mom would be gone." I snickered.
"Figures."
It was about 5am when I got a call.
"Hello?" I could hear loud music and moaning in the background.
"Baabbbaaayyy." It was Fredrick, I finally realized what was happening. "FASTER FREDRICK FASTER! AND GET OFF THAT DAMN PHONE!" It was Melanie.
What the hell was going on?
"MELANIE? FREDRICK?" There was silence for a few seconds, then I heard some moving around.
"Sis? Why did my boyfriend call you baby?"
No. Fucking. Way. "I was dating him all summer!" "Really? He's been dating me for a year exactly."
I was furious, then I remembered all the bad things Fredrick did to me.
"You know what? I hope he fucking knocks you up. Then after he finds out, he'll beat the shit out of you." I hung up then turned off my phone.
How could he fucking do this? How could I fall for him?
I jumped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, it was time to end this. It took me 5 minutes before I had cut my arms open again, the blood flowed down my arms. "Sam?" Oh fuck.
Freddie stood in the doorway, looking hurt.
"How could you do this to me Sam?"
I stared at him, confused. "What?"
He sighed and slowly stepped closer to me, "I really like you. I can't see why you would do this."
I told Freddie everything while he stayed quiet and cleaned my arms off.
"...And then I came here, I just couldn't take it."
Freddie hugged me tightly, and I hugged back. "You wouldn't have to have to worry about getting hurt with me."
"What do you-" Freddie kissed me softly.
This kiss was nothing like Fredrick's kisses.
And that's when I realized, I never really loved Fredrick.
I had what I needed all along, Freddie.