(Looking down at Sara as she sleeps)
I sometimes wonder what she sees in me. I mean, look at me. I'm a middle aged man with a propensity for being grumpy and sarcastic. I'm losing my hair and my physical form isn't what it used to be. Twenty years ago I was still short and slightly balding, but I was in much better shape……….I was defined. Now, I've got a bit of a paunch, my bones creak at the most inopportune of moments and my UND is worse than it ever was.
Yet, I suppose she must find some socially and personally redeeming qualities in me, or else why would she choose to share herself and her life with me? I ask myself this question nearly on a daily basis; never coming up with a satisfying answer.
But look at her. She's young, beautiful, brilliant and sexy as hell. She hasn't got any hair growing in inconvenient places,
she isn't covered in freckles and she sure as hell doesn't have to deal with middle age spread.
All those years ago, when she first came to us………to me, I noticed her straight away. She was tall, confident and full of spit and spirit. I suppose that's what I love so much about her; her spirit. She was the only woman or person, for that matter, that I'd ever seen leave a man speechless. That man was Gil Grissom. I swear, the way they'd talk, sometimes they seemed as close to an old married couple as one could get without actually being old or married. Sometimes I'd just stand back while they had a their row and think to myself, "Damn, girl's got spirit." And as I'd watch her walk away from him, he'd just stand there, mouth hanging open like a large mouth Bass and scratching his head. It was at that moment I decided that I had to get to know her.
You can imagine my surprise when, years later, after finally mustered up the courage, I asked her out and she accepted. I was dumbstruck. When I asked her it was on a whim, not really expecting her to accept. It was kind of like asking a question you think you already know the answer to, but come to find out you're wrong. It was like I'd been hit in the head with a board.
I didn't know what to say after that. I'd asked, she'd said yes and from that point I just sort of stood there until she responded with setting the date, time and place we'd be going. I was glad for this but after hearing her "Yes" my mind more or less went blank. I think that was truly the first time ion my life when I was physically incapable of speech.
(Sara begins to stir and Jim heads off to the bathroom for a shower. Closing the door behind himself and standing in front of the sink, his hands braced on either side, staring at his reflection in the medicine chest mirror.)
Look at me. My skin is sagging, I've got crow's feet and wattle that just won't go away. I've tried head and neck exercises and even dipped into some of Sara's firming cream, but much to no avail. I suppose I could have some liposuction done, but that might be too drastic and there would be too many questions from the bruising and scar from the insertion. Then, of course, there's my nose. I've never quite been pleased with it. Its kind of large, bulbous and slightly irregular. But I guess that's what makes me, me. Those slight and not so slight imperfections are what make us unique.
(Noticing his reflection in the full length mirror on back of the bathroom door)
Then, of course, there's my butt. She says she likes it, but I think she's just trying to boost my ego. I try to work out as often as possible, I swear, but the gym might as well be in Botswana for all the times I've actually gone. As dissatisfied as I am with my appearance, Sara seems to like me all the same. She says she likes my arms in short sleeved shirts and my butt when I wear jeans. However, we disagree when it comes to my best physical trait. I think its my legs……….definition coming from all the walking around I do. She says its my eyes and the way they light up when I smile. I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree on that matter. One thing is for sure, my love handles have got to go. I don't care how much she says she likes them, they're mine and I want rid of them. They appeared around the same time that my hair began to recede, and that was in my early-mid twenties.
(Looks down at his watch and realizes he's going to be late. Jim jumps in the shower and hoses himself off. When he finishes he quietly dresses and periodically looks over at the still sleeping Sara)
Its too hot for denim today and too hot for slacks. I think I'll go with a nice pair of shorts and t-shirt. This way I can have my legs and she can have my arms. My arms DO look good, no doubt, but the weather is dictating my manner of dress, not my ego or what I think Sara would like me best in.
(Having dressed and climbed into his car, Jim drove to Fitzsimmon's jewelers and arrived just as they opened the doors.
Crossing the threshold, he made straight for the farthest display case and peered through the glass at his quarry)
She'll love it. She'll love it even more because I remembered our anniversary. I know she thinks that I've forgotten, but I haven't. I've even got it programmed into my cell phone so I wouldn't forget. Its even on my lap top, so when I sign on I get an instant reminder. My memory isn't as good as it used to be, but there are ways around that these days. These days we have PDA's, programmable cell phones, computers and other means to "remember" the most important of things, and believe you, me…………..this is important.
Its kind of on the pricey side, but there's nothing too good for my Sara. In the time we've been together she's opened my eyes and my soul. After my ex-wife, I thought I could never love again; Sara changed that. She loved me with her whole being and never held back an ounce She taught me not to be afraid of my feelings because they would most assuredly be returned. Before her, I was merely existing, but now, with her in my life……………I'm living. And to live is a truly beautiful thing. I remember the morning after we first made love. She was still asleep when I awoke and when I stepped onto the back porch, looking to the sky, everything seemed brighter, more defined; crisp. It was like I'd been given a new lease on life and I'd be damned if I were to turn it away or make light of it. I remember actually listening to the birds that morning and as cheesy as it may sound, it almost seemed as though they were singing for me. Their little chirps and twitters were like auditory gold. I just stood there, leaning on the rail and watched the life all around me. I watched the squirrels. I watched the neighbour's cat chasing said squirrel and the neighbour on the other side of my house, I watched his dog chasing a butterfly around the sideyard. When I came back inside and had my morning coffee, even that tasted richer……….better.
Everything had changed. I attributed it to Sara and the light which she showed me. It was like having a bit of her soul with me everywhere I went.
And now, looking through the glass of this case that holds, within, the jewel that I intend on presenting her with as a token of my love, affection and devotion. I know she's not one for trinkets and such, but I've shown her, physically, how much I love her, but now I want her to have a piece of me with her always…..to remind her of me whenever she looks on it. So, I have a bit of her with me everywhere I go and now she'll have a bit of me wherever she travels.
We're set to go on holiday in two day's time and its on this holiday that I plan to give her this gift.
(Jim purchases said piece of jewelry and returns home to find Sara still asleep. He undresses and climbs back into bed,
spooning up behind her)
God, she's so warm and comfortable and if it weren't for the fact that we have to go in tonight, I'd stay with her all day, just holding her. It feels so good just to wrap my arms around her and hold her to me. The sounds she makes as I draw her to me and take one of her breasts in my hand and squeeze it ever so slightly. As she backs into me, her rear end nestling right against my manhood eliciting a predictable response from my body. I know she's asleep, though and as much as I'd love to just take her in my arms and make mad, passionate love to her, she had a hard shift last night and I know she needs her sleep. Besides, there's always time for THAT, later.
But for now, I'm content to lay here, with my love in my arms and rest a while until she wakes.