Right here waiting for you
Disclaimers: None of the characters belong to me; they all belong to Joss Whedon. Believe me, if I did own them, Giles would be mine.
The song this fic is based on 'I will be right here waiting for you' by Bryan Adams.
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
Sitting there in his flat in England, Rupert Giles pondered upon his decision to return. It had been the hardest choice he'd ever had to make, but for the sake of him as well as her, he knew it was the right one.
Or at least that's what he was telling himself as he slowly set about unpacking his belongings from their various boxes and crates. Moving home was a stressful experience at the best of times; moving country added to that stress, moving continent was torture. He had been back three days now and he was only just getting over the jetlag, he now stood in a flat in which you could see little floor space due to the possessions that lay packed up throughout.
Try as he might though, the concentration couldn't come to him to set about with the needed task. His thoughts were well and truly elsewhere: across a wide ocean and on another continent, his thoughts were fixated on a young blond that he'd left behind. She was the whole reason why he was here now, in England trying to unpack, but the pain of being so far apart from her was undeniable.
So far apart from the woman he had foolishly let himself fall in love with was killing him inside. That was his reason for being back here: not the fact that she needed to grow up, she had done that so much over the course of the last five and a half years. No, he needed to run away from her before he did something he would regret.
He'd become an expert in hiding his true feeling towards her, managing to find that magic distance that wasn't too close or too far. But after her death and then her resurrection, he had found the barriers he'd put up were cracking, he was seeing her in pain beyond anyone's imagination. All he had wanted to do was to scoop her up into his arms and show her that, even though she felt alone, he was there for her; he was always going to be there for her. He wanted to kiss away her troubles and let her know she was loved.
But he knew she wouldn't react well to that, Buffy would never react well to her watcher doing that. To her, he was a safe haven, a protector, 'the one who was there' when she needed him to help. There had always been a detachment, a distance between them that meant, even though they would refer to themselves as friends, they hardly ever touched, hugs were so rarely seen between the two of them that even $100 a sight of one wouldn't make anyone that rich. They communicated through words and things that hung in the air, these were the things that had never been said, they were just always assumed: He was the platonic father figure to her, giving her the affection she never got off her own father.
Those were the two words that hurt the most to consider 'platonic' and 'affection', to her; he wasn't a sexual being with feelings or emotions. He didn't even have any feelings or emotions for her just regard and respect. So any chance of him having romantic feelings towards her was out of the question.
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever
He had called Sunnydale the day after he arrived as he had promised, assuring them that he had gotten to England safely and, primarily, to check up on how they were doing without him. Willow had been the one to answer, sounding excited to hear from him but promising that everyone was coping well. This statement had given him mixed feelings: glad that they were coping, but a small voice in back of his mind started whispering that this was proof he were no longer needed.
With Xander and Anya busy at work and Dawn at school, Buffy had been the only other person to come to the phone. She said that she was fine as was being independent has he had wanted of her. She sounded happy enough, though Giles didn't need to be there to know she was putting on a false smile, he could hear it in her tone, just hiding beneath the surface. The sound of her voice on the phone had tugged at his heart, he wanted to be there again, wanted to see as well as hear her.
The moment he had fallen for her he couldn't recall, he supposed in a way he always had, from the second she had stepped into the library on her first day in Sunnydale High. But the spark had ignited into a full blazing fire on the night of her prom. It was when she had stepped into the gym in that dress that he realised she was no longer the young girl the council had sent him to in order guide through hellish troubles, but a flourishing young woman who was to be admired, respected and loved. He had almost asked her to dance that night; Wesley was dancing with Cordelia so he had thought 'to hell with it'. But when he was about to ask, Angel had appeared and taken over, placing his arms around her, letting her head rest on his chest and dancing slowly with her. The place he'd wanted to be.
But then there was the time she had walked in when Olivia was visiting. She had made it clear that anything involving him in a human fashion was 'old and gross'. He shuddered to think that she would think on him that way, but in her own sense she was probably right. There was an age gap, and not a small one, she saw him a father and no one liked thinking about parents or parental figures having sex.
All this had gone through his mind after that phone call, as though he were trying to justify his reason for running out of her life when she probably needed the most guidance and fleeing back to England. If he didn't see her, then the feelings could not manifest any further. The saying that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was just an empty saying. Absence made people forget, or at least he hoped this was the case for him.
I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Buffy had been so strong from the first day that Giles honestly thought she would be the one to survive, she would be the one to conquer any evil that was placed before her. The first time she had died she he had no time to dwell on it, as she was alive again some short minutes later. He had merely counted his blessings that Xander had been there when it mattered. The second time however, he did have the time to dwell, and when he did, he realised that he had taken her for granted. Even though she was physically and mentally strong, she wasn't invincible, she was still human. Between her death and rebirth he had recalled every moment he could of his time with her, the memories that ranged from utter joy to downright anger or despair. In those times of recollection, Giles realised he had never appreciated the moments when they were happening, even the ones that hurt so much, such as the occasion of Buffy's 18th birthday, should appreciated for what they were… memories about a truly amazing young woman.
When she had come back, his heart had sung songs of joy, but was also when the trouble started. The relief, pleasure and heart-felt thanks he felt at her return had smashed at his barriers like a battering ram. It didn't create a chip; it was a huge gaping crack. Giles had started to find it harder and harder to hide his feelings from her. He'd caught himself staring at her at times when she was unaware of it, just taking in her radiant face, wondering what it would really feel like to kiss her, hold her, make love to her; but he would quickly give himself an internal slap and get back on with the everyday life of Sunnydale. The dreams of her that had never truly ceased came back and they had become much more vivid, and many mornings he had woken up in rather uncomfortable and in a cold sweat due to their intensity.
Another problem had also made itself present after she came back, and that was that the distance between them had grown considerably. She had cut herself from almost everyone and that included him. Once she would have come to him to talk personally, but now the talk was all business. Giles could only watch as she locked her feelings behind an armoured doorway and threw away the key, so no one could spot the pain she was in.
Oh can't you see it baby,
You've got me going crazy
Giles put his head in his hands and sighed. On the night of her prom, he had admitted it to himself: He, Rupert Giles had fallen head over heels in love with his slayer, Buffy Summers. He knew admitting that to her would lead to trouble. Emotionally it would tear down the relationship that he had fought so long to rebuild ever since her 18th birthday, the trust that he had finally re-established. Practically the council would never permit it, even if by some divine luck, Buffy did return the feelings. They had fired him swiftly when they detected what they thought was a paternal love for her, the consequences for having romantic feelings for her was something else entirely. They had been entirely wrong of course, he cared for Buffy deeply, but it was never a paternal love, whether or not he was ever around, she had a father whom he didn't want to replace. His love was more described as unconditional for years. For all these reasons, Giles knew he best be here and out of her reach, he had hoped originally that the mere presence of her would quell any outstanding emotions, but that had proved insufficient, he needed and wanted more. But he would never take without permission; he was a gentleman and always would be.
With one last heavy sigh he looked again at the boxes at his feet and then proceeded with the unpacking, the solid proof that he had left Sunnydale, and his love behind.
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Buffy was lying on her bed, flat on her back staring at the ceiling. She had been like this for close to three hours now, thinking about things. Well, in truth it was only one thing, the same thing that had been on her mind since it had left a week ago now. Rupert Giles had left her, claiming she needed to learn to be independent of him. The night after he had gone she'd wept, it was quiet and unknown to anyone other than her, but she wept. The man she had given her heart to in more ways than one had left her behind to fend for herself. She was capable, she knew this, but it didn't stop the dull ache in her chest that screamed for him to come back.
She couldn't believe it when she realised it, but she had fallen in love with her watcher. What had started off as deep respect and friendship had blossomed into something that, for a long while, Buffy couldn't describe. She had always found him a striking man from the first moment she met him, in the library on the first day of school. But over the years, she had come to regard him as, not just striking, but also handsome, decent and forever the gentleman. They were never the 'touchy-feely' sort, hugs were rarely given, but smiles, looks and unspoken conversations said it all, she could trust him unconditionally and come to him for anything. She had truly believed he was the one man who would never run away from her, unlike the rest.
But now he had, one of her biggest fears had come true. Giles had left her, ran off home. Now she was starting to wonder if there was another reason why. She had realised her love in full when she had come back from the dead, Giles had been the one thing that had assured her she was safe from harm. The feelings had grown to an intense level, to the point where Buffy had wanted nothing more than to cuddle up close to him and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. When this had happened Buffy had grown frightened, not of the feelings, but of Giles' reaction to them. So Buffy had then tried to keep him at an arm's length at a hope that would satisfy her cravings for him, keeping their meetings to being strictly business, but it did not. So she had opted for a compromise and attempted to lock up the pain she was feeling about being next to a man she couldn't have. She wanted more of this man that she knew she couldn't have. He would never react favourably to them. He was British and a gentleman along with it, if he were ever to find out, Buffy imagined that he would acknowledge them and let her down gently, probably through a renewed case of stuttering.
Could that have been the reason he left? He'd found out and didn't want to face her. Did he think it was best, to leave her alone and hope the feelings subside. Her tears restarted at that thought. She could never stop these feelings. The romances she'd had before with Angel or Riley paled in comparison to what she was feeling right now. She knew that no matter what happened or the distance that was now between them, she would wait for him. She would wait for him, even if it took years. Her heart tore at the seams because of him, but Buffy could never hate him, not even when he betrayed her on her 18th birthday could she stay angry at him for very long. He had tried so hard to build up her trust in him again and she'd let him, because she knew she could never remain mad at the man who had given up his life to help her survive.
Besides, even if by some miracle, he did return her feelings, the council would never allow it. They had come down on Giles hard when they accused of having a father's love for her. The costs of a romantic relationship would be brutal. She would damn the whole council if she got the chance, they ruined everything. But they had spelt out something for Buffy; they had said Giles had a father's love for her. If he did, then he would definitely frown on any attempts she made to change that.
In many ways he was the father she never had, or at least he was the father figure who was there: he gave up everything, his life, his job, and his family to care and protect her. Even when she treated him terribly, and she had done so several times over the years, he still remained there ready to aid. But just before he left, Buffy had thought (or was it hoped) that she'd seen him looking at her at times when he thought she didn't know. When they were researching in the Magic Box and she was reading, she thought she'd seen him out of the corner of her eye staring at her with a small smile on his face. It was at these times she'd hope he would say or do something that would make his feelings more clear to her. But every time she had looked up to meet his eye, he was reading his books as he should have been.
Weeks had progressed into months, six in fact, and Giles was settling down to life back on Britain. A job opportunity had arisen that he had grasped with both hands; a small theatre in London's west end wanted a singer for weekly shows, and preferably one that could do the classics. Giles had auditioned and got through. He was now performing every Saturday night for quite good pay. The theatre job gave his contracts monthly, which he didn't mind, it would give him easy get out, should he eventually get bored of the job. It gave him something to do, something to focus on besides Buffy. She never really heard him sing, he realised, except for that musical demon incident. But she'd never heard him singing with his guitar. He mentally shook his head, he wasn't to go on thinking about her, the reason for this job was focus.
He still kept in regular contact with Sunnydale, so they were never completely off his mind. He had spoken to them all at some point and finding out they were doing fine. Buffy spoke to him on occasion (it was mainly Willow and Dawn that spoke to him) but their conversations were always short and they always seemed at a loss for something to say. Willow had said, in more detail, that Buffy was dealing with her issues and, with the aid of the others, coping with her life.
Oh can't you see it baby,
You've got me going crazy
Now though, it was 7 o'clock on the morning, and Giles was being woken by the phone's persistent ringing he picked it up from the bedside table an answered it while trying to stifle a yawn. On the other end of the line was a very panicky Willow trying to calm her breathing to talk to him.
"Willow, sweetheart, take a few deep breaths and try again I can't understand you."
He heard her attempts to breathe, and then she tried to talk again with more success.
"Giles, I know this is really short notice but you need to get over here. It's Buffy."
At the last two words Giles sat bolt upright, all personal emotions went to one side as he went into his full watcher mode.
"What's happened Willow?"
His voice remained calm, trying not to panic the witch further. It was the opposite to how he was feeling at the minute but he needed to keep a level head in this.
"She was attacked by a mass of… everything. Vampires, demons, the works. We're in the hospital but it's not looking good. The doctor said that she's slipped into a coma. Giles please I don't know what to do."
Then he could hear her sobbing, he spoke to her quietly for a few moments trying to encourage her to calm down before he continued.
"Willow, please listen to me…"
"Please we need you back!"
Giles heard the raw emotion in her voice and took a deep breath before continuing.
"Willow, I'll book the earliest flight I can, but it will still take some time before I get there. Who else is with you?"
"Tara, Xander, Anya, and Dawn."
"What about Spike?"
He inwardly cringed as he said this; he knew the vampire had feelings for Buffy.
"He fled a while ago; he attacked Buffy in a frantic attempt to get to her. After that he fled. We haven't seen him since."
He closed his eyes as he spoke, they had never told him this, possibly on Buffy's instruction, but he couldn't help but be somewhat angry that they kept that from him. He made a mental note to stake Spike if he ever saw him again and then said,
"Right, I want to all to stay calm, I'll be there as soon as I can."
Willow said her thanks and hung up. Giles shook himself and pinched the bridge of his nose. Buffy was injured and it was possibly fatal, professionally he was kicking himself that he wasn't there to help her. Bizarrely, he was doing the same thing personally. He leapt out of bed and made two phone calls, the first to the theatre stating he did not want to renew his contract and second to book a ticket on the next flight to LA. He hoped and prayed that she would be able to hold on until he got there. The flight was at 5 o'clock that afternoon, letting land 8 o'clock California time. Thinking ahead, he also booked a rental car in advance, wanting to get to Sunnydale as quickly as possible.
After making all the phone calls he ran upstairs to pack, he didn't know how long he was intending to stay, even though a small part of his brain was yelling to pack all his belongings and move back. He decided in the end to pack enough for three weeks, laundry could be done if he stayed longer. Once he had packed and dressed he sat back down on his bed, head in his hands again as he mumbled out loud,
"Buffy, please my love, hold on. I couldn't live if you were to die again."
Waiting around had been agonizing, in his flat, the airport and then the eleven hour flight to LA. Everything was taking far too long. He had just landed and gotten through passport control, he was collecting his car from the front entrance. It was taking all his control to remain calm throughout every transaction, he mind kept showing him an image of Buffy unconscious on a hospital bed, and that combined the setting in jetlag, was making him edgy.
The drive was thankfully swift, arriving outside the hospital 40 minutes later. He drew in several deep breaths before exiting the car; running in there in a mad dash wouldn't do any of them any good. He assumed they'd be there, waiting for him to join them at her bedside. Slowly, he got out of the car and entered the hospital; he was greeted almost instantly to a young voice calling his name and a young teenage girl flinging herself into his arms. Dawn hugged him frantically and weeping into his jumper. Giles could do nothing more than to rub her back and try and calm her, as he was doing so, he was greeted by the others who had seemingly been waiting for him.
Willow was the next to embrace him after Dawn finally let go.
"Thank goodness you're here!"
The tears that he'd heard yesterday returned with a vengeance. As he hugged her he looked at the others, Tara seemed close to tears also, and even Xander and Anya were looking distressed. He exchanged greetings with everyone, hugging Tara and Anya and placing a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder. Then, he asked the question that had plagued him since Willow's phone call.
"How is she? I need to see her."
Dawn started crying again, Giles could only guess that any news wasn't good. With all the girls in floods (even Anya was tearing up), Xander volunteered to take Giles to Buffy's room. But before he could get too far Xander stopped him in the corridor.
"Listen, I need to talk to you before you go in there."
"Xander, whatever it is, I'll deal with it later. I need to see her."
Why couldn't he see the urgency in Giles' eyes? Buffy was injured and he needed to be there for her, unlike when the actual incident occurred. He then made a move to pass the young man, but Xander put his arm out and forced to stop in his tracks again.
"No Giles, you need to listen to me before you go in there."
Giles heard the insistence and nodded reluctantly. He then motioned for him to continue.
"I don't know what you've been told by Willow, Dawn or even Buffy herself in our calls to you. But she's missed you terribly. She's cried over you too many times to count over these past six months, wanting you to come back. I've never seen her so heartbroken Giles, not even when Angel said he was leaving to go to LA. She hoped you'd never leave her, she told me once that beyond anyone else, she trusted you, unconditionally and absolutely. I can't even begin to say I understand the whole watcher-slayer thing, but from what I was hearing that's a trust that goes beyond normal friendship. She's independent and always has been, even just after her rebirth, so that's not the reason you left Giles. What the reason is, I suppose only you know, but I doubt any reasons going through your mind would be worth hurting her so badly over."
Xander's voice had stayed calm during the entire speech, but every word held Giles' attention. He'd hurt her, more than he ever thought possible it seemed, he'd hurt her. Nothing could be said to answer Xander short of a full confession of his true feelings, so he just nodded and said,
"No Xander, I suppose they weren't and believe me and I am willing and able to try and make it up to her, but right now I need to see her."
A small smile made its way onto Xander's mouth; he then turned on his heel and led Giles to Buffy's room.
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
The sight of her on the bed almost made Giles weep. She was covered in bruises and there were many deep gashes adorning her body that were not showing any signs of healing. Since she was unconscious, her natural slayer healing would be slowed, add to that the possibility she may have some vampire venom in her and her healing would slower than that of an average human. The tears were staring to form in his eyes, he could kick himself for not being there for her. Xander saw this and said softly that he would give Giles some time alone.
Giles had only half heard this, he just stared at his beloved slayer, battered beyond what he'd ever seen her. A few moments later his brain registered that Xander had said something, but as he looked over his shoulder, the young man had left and shut the door. He slowly sat down on the bed at Buffy's side, allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks. Slowly, he reached out his right hand and stroked her cheek and then moved the stray hair from in her face to behind her ear.
"I'm sorry my love, I should have been here, I should have been at your side to help you."
He knew that she couldn't hear him but he needed to say it. He would never know if his presence would have made a difference to the end result, but that didn't matter, he would have still been there to help with the mass attack she had faced. Carefully, he placed a kiss onto her forehead and then rested his against it, almost trying to give her the strength to recover and return to him. His heart was breaking at the possibility that she might not make it, and he knew that he would never leave her side until he knew whether or not she would. He kissed her one more time before saying,
"I love you Buffy, please come back to me."
Little did Giles know that Dawn, Xander and Willow were all just outside the door, they had sent Anya and Tara home to rest. Not initially meaning to eavesdrop, they meant only to sit outside the room, giving Giles time to see her before they joined him. But they heard him speaking softly and were amazed at what they heard.
"I'm sorry my love, I should have been here, I should have been at your side to help you."
"I love you Buffy, please come back to me."
When they peered into the room the saw Giles lying next to Buffy, carefully cradling her head to his chest, he seemed to crying softly into her hair.
"Giles loves Buffy?" Dawn wondered out loud
"Of course he does, " Xander replied. "They got that whole watcher-slayer thing going on. That would create some kind of love."
Dawn turned round and looked at Xander, "That looks like more than a watcher-slayer friendship to me. He sounds more in love."
Xander raised an eyebrow at this and peered in again, but he had to mentally confess, Dawn was right, Giles did look like someone who was on the cusp of losing his whole world.
"If he really felt that way though, why did he leave?" He asked "I mean, would any of you agree with me and suggest Buffy may feel the same way."
"Unless he didn't know." Willow said, speaking up for the first time. "I mean, Buffy does feel the same way, I know it, but she was scared of telling Giles in case he reacted unfavourably. It was possibly the same with him."
They all, in the end, just shook their heads, they could never understand the relationship between Giles and Buffy. They looked in once more and saw that Giles seemed to have calmed down from his tears so they gently knocked on the door and made their way inside.
Giles quickly, but gently, lowered her head back onto the pillow and looked at the three as they came in,
"What was the latest news from the doctor?"
Dawn was the one who answered, "She's stable but they're not sure if she's going to wake up from this. She was pretty badly hurt."
He nodded and gazed back at her, she was strong, she would wake up. The three friends studied this latest gaze and one by one, they mentally agreed with Dawn, Giles was wearing his heart on his sleeve and he did love Buffy.
"Why did you leave Giles?" His head went back to the three and saw Dawn standing slightly further forward, looking at him inquisitively. "And please don't give the official watchery reason, we all know that's not true."
Giles sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Should he tell them the truth, how would they judge him, not just for the fact that he loves Buffy in a way he doubted any of them had contemplated, but also that he'd ran away because of that.
"I left because I thought it best for both of us."
"That's not an answer." When her comment was met with silence, Dawn decided to battle ahead with her question. "Do you love Buffy?"
Giles, who had been staring towards the ceiling, shot Dawn a shocked look. The first thought that came into his mind was to deny everything.
"W-w-why would you s-say that? I-I care for her v-v-very much of course."
"I asked do you love her not do you care about her, Giles you left for a reason and I think I may now know what that reason is. You love her so much your scared of it, you thought running away would make it stop. But I know from the way Buffy's been acting the past few months it doesn't, you should hear her Giles, she cried herself to sleep for you and every nightmare she has, it's you she shouts out for to help her. She needs you."
Giles' face had gone blank as Dawn spoke. Willow then spoke up to break him out of his stupor.
"What's more, she loves you."
Giles looked at her with a raised eyebrow; he knew Buffy would never return his feelings.
"I being serious Giles she does, after bringing her back, I've tried to help her through her problems, trying to make up for the mistake I made. We've talked a lot, and you've came up frequently, she was reluctant at first to admit it to me but she said she fallen for you. She wanted you to come back terribly from day one, but she was nervous as to how you'd react if you found out. She's said more than once she thinks that's the reason you left, that you'd found out and didn't want to face her."
All three of them now had basically chastised him for being a fool and, in their own way, all said they knew how he felt and that Buffy felt the same way. Could she? Could she love him? He knew better than to gather up any hopes right now, but he kept their words in mind for when she woke up.
"I assure you Willow that was never the case. If you really wish the truth, I hoped leaving for a while would allow my own feelings to die away. You were right Dawn."
He turned to them once more, his face soft, and he smiled softly at them. He was, despite the hospital circumstances, happy to be back. Before he could any more lost in his thoughts, one of the doctors came in to check her over, so they all stepped outside.
The hallway seemed deathly silent and none of the friends spoke a word, they just watched Giles as his brain worked on processing all the information they had given to him in the past while. They were sure they saw the smallest of smiles creep onto his face at some point, but it was gone so quickly they may have been mistaken.
In Giles' head, his mind was working overtime on what Xander, Dawn and Willow had said, after a while he decided not to dwell on it too heavily until he was sure Buffy would wake up. He didn't want his hopes scattered by a grim prognosis.
I wonder how we can survive this romance
But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance
Almost a week had gone by since Giles had landed back in America. He was sleeping on the sofa in Buffy's house. Since Tara and Willow were living there now, it had been the place they offered him, originally he protested, stating he would either find a motel or rent a place short term. But they had none of it and so he relented, the sofa wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep in the world, but if was sufficient.
He had never really slept on a night anyway, he spent his nights thinking, mostly about Buffy and also on his current situation options. He was heavily considering moving back, his old apartment still didn't have a new tenant and he could reserve a lease on it while he returned to England to retrieve his possessions. But he could still not say for certain whether he would stay fulltime again.
His train of thought was broken by the ringing of the phone. Giles glanced his watch, it was only 2 o'clock in the morning. Who would be ringing at this time of night? He picked up the phone,
"Hello, Summers residence."
"Hello, whom am I addressing?"
This guy sounded rather formal, and then it struck him, it was probably the hospital with news.
"This is Rupert Giles."
There was a pause on the other end of the line, presumably checking his name was one the system as a next of kin to Buffy, which it always had been, ever since they had both arrived in Sunnydale.
"Mr Giles, this is Sunnydale infirmary, we are calling in reference to Buffy Summers, and she is beginning to show signs of waking up."
Giles had to stop himself from cheering at the top of his voice, but a large smile did adorn his face.
"R-really, that's f-fantastic. I'll be right over."
The doctor acknowledged this and then hung up. Giles quickly got changed and was about to leave the house before he paused for a moment. Dawn and the others would want to know she was alright. But he decided against waking them, partially to let them sleep, but mostly because he wanted to see her by herself for a while. He wrote them a quick note telling them where he was going and why before driving to the hospital.
He knew she would make it, she was a strong girl. He walked into the hospital and went straight to Buffy's room, where a doctor was there waiting for him.
"She can hear me and reacted just now, she's starting to regain consciousness."
The doctor said this all with a smile on his face, as he saw the relief wash over Giles. He then stood aside to let the other man in.
Giles walked up and took up, what had become his normal spot, at the side of her bed. He placed his hand gently in hers, and slowly stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.
"Buffy?"
Her eyes seemed to flicker in response, but he knew that might not mean too much, even the eyes of people in comas twitched every so often. He continued to stroke her hand and brought his other one up to cup her right cheek.
There was definitely a reaction this time, her face turned towards his hand, he ran his thumb lightly along her cheek and jawline. The smile on his face growing steadily larger.
"Buffy?"
He said again, a little louder. He heard a soft groan in response and her eyes squinted a few times and then opened.
The lights dazzled her, and it took several moments for her sight to grow accustomed to its levels. Her head hurt and all her limbs felt heavy. After a short while she became fully aware that there was another person there with her. She lifted her head groggily and her eyes met the green ones of her watcher. He was looking down on her smiling, one hand in hers and the other on her cheek. This couldn't be really, she must have been dreaming, Giles was in England.
But the touched felt real, the warmth coming off his body as it sat near her felt very real.
"Giles?"
If possible the smile on his face grew larger.
"Yes Buffy, I'm here sweetheart."
He then bent down and placed a careful kiss on her forehead.
"Forgive me Buffy. I should have been here to protect you. I did the cowardly thing and ran off instead of being honest with you. I realise now you deserve that."
Buffy lifted her head slightly. The words he was saying were not really sinking in. Giles was back, he was here next to her and holding her. She was overjoyed. Instead of answering him she just raised herself into a sitting position and hugged into his chest. Giles responded in kind, wrapping his arms softly around her waist, being mindful that she had just awoken from a coma.
"I missed you."
Her small voice was muffled in his shirt where her face was in his chest, but he heard her. He released her and pulled her back so he could see her face. A small moan was heard as he pulled her away, but he had to see her.
"I missed you as well, you have no idea how much,"
"Then why did you leave?"
"I thought it was best for both of us if I did, but it would appear, from what I've been told, that both of us have had misunderstandings about each other."
He paused for a moment to look at her; she was still the same beautiful woman she always was, even with the bruises and abrasions still there. Her eyes were showing a questioning look at his words, so he continued.
"I realise now that I've hurt you, more than I would ever have wanted. But I didn't want to ruin our friendship, by acting on the impulses I was trying to repress."
"What impulses?"
Buffy had a vague idea where this was going but didn't dare raise her hopes. Instead of answering, he rubbed her arms where his hands were currently placed, he didn't meet her eyes for a long minute. She could see an internal battle go on in his head; he was trying to decide whether or not to tell her something, or how to tell her something.
He then looked her right in the eye and there were tears glittering within them, this mesmerised Buffy, it was making his emerald eyes sparkle.
"The impulse that I've fallen in love with you, some time ago. I couldn't hide those feelings anymore. After your rebirth, I just wanted to make you feel safe, but I was afraid you would reject me and I'd lose you."
That took time to sink in, Giles was in love with her, he was scared of her reaction to him. This was a sensory overload to wake up to.
"Are you sure I'm not still dreaming? You love me?"
She couldn't quite continue, there were so many questions being raised in her head she couldn't voice them all. Giles let out a soft chuckle.
"Yes I love you and no, you're not still dreaming. Willow told me that you thought the reason I left was because I found out about your feelings towards me, I assure you that isn't the case. I didn't know anything about them until I got back."
Buffy made a mental note to talk to Willow about sharing private information, but in the case she was grateful.
"Do you mind if I ask…" Giles went on, "What exactly are your feelings towards me?"
"I thought you said Willow told you,"
"She told me you had fallen for me and you wanted me to come back. But I want to hear it from you."
All of his insecurities came out in that line, he could never fully relax with her feelings until she had said them. Buffy realised this herself, and thought in that one moment he couldn't have gotten any sweeter.
"I love you Rupert Giles, I have for so long, I just didn't realise it until recently. And then you left on me, I thought I'd something terribly wrong."
She couldn't stop the tears from starting, Giles placed her back into his gentle embrace and kiss the top of her head.
"It would appear that we have both been fools."
A chuckle came through her tears and then she dug her head still deeper into his chest. She never wanted to leave this man again, not for a moment. All her dreams were coming true at once. Giles brought her out of her thoughts.
"Buffy, sweetheart," He steadily brought her out of his arms again to look at her. "Do you really want this from me, even though there is an age gap? I love more than I value the air I breathe, but I would never force anything from you for my own gratification."
Buffy felt herself melt at his words, be truly was the sweetest man in the world.
"Yes Gi… Rupert, I really want this, but do me a favour."
"What's that?"
"Don't love me that much; if you do I can't top it for you."
Both of them laughed until Buffy winced from the pain that until that moment had been nearly forgotten.
"I think we better take it easy with you for little while, you've just awoken from quite an ordeal. You need to rest. But listen to me please; if you really do want this, then of course I'll stay."
He paused for a short instant to watch the smile grow on her face.
"But I will need to go back to England once more, so I bring back my belongings."
"Do you have to go straight away? I've just got you back"
"No, not straight away, I have to get the lease on my apartment established and of course book the flights. I'll stay for two more weeks. Then I'll be there and back before you know it."
"I'll still miss you."
"I would invite you along with me, but I'm not sure if you could travel in your condition."
"You'd take me with you?"
"If you think you could manage it, yes."
He watched her consider things in her head.
"I think I'll be able to fly a couple of weeks from now. I have a passport, and it would be great to see some of England."
"I'll check with the doctor. Until then we'll take things slowly and get you back to full health."
Buffy knew that when he said 'take things slowly' he meant their relationship as well; she knew he was never the type to rush into anything like this, even if, in her opinion, they'd had over 5 years preparation for this.
She nodded slowly and for lay once again in his arms, eyes closed, smiling contently that she was at last safe and happy. Giles himself was smiling from ear to ear, the sort of smile that was very rarely seen on his face. But he knew now that he too had found happiness in this blond in his arms.
Hope you enjoyed this. Please review, I love to hear it all (even the constructive criticism) If you like this I will write another chapter. So much for this being a one-shot.