Tobi and the Two Bunnies
A Naruto-Neko original
One day, Tobi was walking along a cobblestone pathway, when he caught sight of a bush, moving. Scratching his head in confusion, he leaned toward the bush, to find 2 bunnies making babies. Tobi gasped in pure shock, as he transformed into Madara, laughing cruelly, had a sudden urge to destroy the world.
Madara merrily skipped back to the Akatsuki base, cradling the 'busy' bunnies in his hands, Madara finally reached the Akatsuki base, only to bump into Itachi.
"What is this?" asked Itachi, pointing at the Bunnies in horror.
"Deidara, get down here!" pleaded Itachi. A few moments later, a big clay bird swooped down carrying Deidara on its back.
"What, un?" asked Deidara, jumping off of the large creature, Itachi pointed at the bunnies that Madara held. Deidara's eyes widened as he cocked an eyebrow
"Ew Madara, that's gross, un," said Deidara, rubbing his temples, feeling a headache coming on.
"No! My precious," snarled Madara, stroking the bunnies possessively. Deidara rolled his eyes, turning to Itachi.
"He needs therapy," said Deidara, sighing.
"Right," said Itachi, activating the sharingan. Madara was instantly hypnotized by it. There were fields and fields of bunnies making babies, a wild grin spread across his face as he twirled around in what he thought was 'heaven'.
All of a sudden, the sky turned blood red, and he heard the murderous snarls of foxes and screeches of the bunnies being killed by the hungry foxes. Madara sunk to his knees and started to uncontrollably sob into his hands.
"…It didn't work," said Itachi in amazement, his mangekyou sharingan always worked and especially on fools like Madara.
Hidan walked in, seeing Madara on the floor, rocking himself back and forth, his face twisted into confusion as he looked at Itachi and Deidara. They shook their heads in sync.
He saw the bunnies Madara had cradled to him, and instantly burst out in laughter.
"Haha! Madara, they get laid more than you!" he said throwing his head back
At this, Madara didn't even move, besides, of course, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Itachi, I think he's almost worse now, un." Deidara crossed his arms and thought as hard as a blonde could as to how to fix Madara somehow. At least in his "Tobi" personality, he was funny occasionally, well, when he got himself blown up.
"Pft, don't think too hard, Deidara, your brain may explode. You have the IQ of a tree," said Hidan, smirking. Deidara just glared in response.
"Wait… what's an IQ?" asked Deidara, tilting his head at Hidan as a puppy would do, at this, Itachi snorted and Hidan just continued laughing.
All the while, Madara was recovering from his trauma and his next goal was to kill the Akatsuki for being so 'insolent'. Madara held onto the bunnies protectively, whilst walking up to the still laughing Hidan, he shoving the bunnies in his face, attempting to hypnotize him.
Hidan raised his eyebrow and attempted to refrain from bursting out laughing, yet again. Hidan swatted away the bunnies. Deidara laughed and asked,
"How long are they going to keep it up, un?" Itachi stood, speechless. Staring at the two idiots he called comrades.
"Aha! Don't worry 'Tachi, you can have a go with the female bunny, too!" said Deidara, whilst Hidan clutched his stomach in pain from too much laughter "Well, unless you prefer the male bunny," he said as he went into a fit of giggles.
And that is when Madara surprised them all and Tsukiyomi'd Itachi back, after a few choice words were (screamed) by Hidan, they managed to blindfold and hogtie Madara.
"He's lost it," said Itachi, sighing, holding his arm in pain.
The door of the base slammed open, revealing a tired looking Kisame, a sword clenched in his hands as if he were about to kill an attacker.
"Guys, what's going on I was just feeding my fish and-" he finally caught sight of Madara, tied to a chair and blindfolded.
"Eh, Madara's been possessed by evil bunny demons," said Hidan, shrugging, holding up a cage with two bunnies contained in them, still doing the dirty deeds.
Kisame's draw dropped as his eyes went from the bunnies and Madara. He laughed, pulling out a chair.
"DEIDARA!" screeched an all too familiar voice, it was none other than Sasori, his face was tinted red from anger.
"Where is my puppet?" snarled Sasori, grabbing Deidara's collar, and shaking him violently.
"Ah, grow some," he snorted, flicking his blonde hair over his shoulder, as a female would do, whilst Itachi banged his head against the wall.
"Deidara," he growled, and Deidara threw his hands up in defense.
"Alright, alright…"
"Oh yeah... Deidara, what's the trigger word for your explosives?" Kisame asked suddenly.
"Katsu-"
BOOM
The base exploded, all members were knocked from their feet, leaving a large cloud of smoke around Madara.
"KISAME, YOU FOOL!" screeched Itachi, panting heavily. The cloud of smoke disappeared, leaving a broken chair, and no Madara.
"Crap, he's gone!" screeched Deidara, flailing. Itachi looked at the chair, and sighed. Great, a rabbit psychopath on the loose.
"Well, it doesn't matter, we need to find him otherwise enemies will take this as a perfect opportunity to attack now that Madara's gone, or should I say escaped, all thanks to Kisame!" snarled Itachi, Kisame pouted, storming out the room, mumbling about his fish.
At that moment, a certain blonde shinobi in the Leaf Village felt an odd sensation, right where his stomach was sealed. However, being who he was, the shinobi disregarded the sensation as hunger. It's a good thing he doesn't even do anything in this story. THAT would be insanity.
Madara, just outside the gates of Konoha, laughed darkly, petting the two fluffy rabbits, protected by him.
"Konoha is coming down… it is 16 years overdue, but nonetheless, it will be destroyed," he said, holding the male rabbit up to the light.
"BUNNY BEAM, GO!" he screeched. Although no-one could hear him…
"Madara, it's over," he jumped, startled by the voice behind him. He turned to see Sai, a smirk across his face.
"It's okay Madara, the same happened to me..." he said, patting him on the shoulder comfortingly. "You must give them up."
"NEVER." Madara snarled, cradling his bunnies close. "They will take over the world!"
Just as the bunnies started getting at it again, Sai cocked an eyebrow.
"...You're obsessed," he said, sighing heavily.
"MADARA!" A voice shouted, and the Akatsuki appeared behind him.
"It's time to let them go..." It was Itachi who spoke.
Madara hissed at them, as a cat would do, but then cried, sinking to his knees.
"Aww can't we keep them?" asked Sasori, petting the bunnies that Madara guarded jealously.
"NO! Sasori, are you crazy?" snarled Itachi, snatching the bunnies, only to receive a slap around the face from Madara.
"MY BUNNIES," cried Madara, yet again, escaping into the forest that surrounded them.
Suddenly startled, the bunnies squealed and leapt out of Madara's arms.
"NO, MY CHILDREN!" screamed Madara, flailing about wildly, looking for the bunnies. A figure appeared, stepping out of the shadows, none other than Orochimaru, there for unknown reasons. In his arms were the two little lovebird bunnies.
"Looking for something?" he asked, licking the bunnies.
"GIVE THEM, NOW," cried Madara desperately, a look of disgust on his masked face (not that Orochimaru could see it.)
Orochimaru just curled his tongue around the bunnies, and swallowed them whole.
"...Tobi is a bad boy."
THE END.