If I Just Lay Here
by ThatsMyFiasco
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Sano. Thanks for reminding me. (cry)
I need your grace to remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
-Chasing Cars, by the Snow Patrol
Sano sighed. In the bunk above him, he could hear the even, deep breaths of his roommate. The girl he loved more than anything. Hearing her turn and mumble in her sleep, he smiled. The little idiot was a little too careless sometimes.
After a few minutes of staring at the bed above him, and imagining its contents, he heard a soft "thud" as Ashiya slid out of her own bed and headed for the bathroom. Rolling over to his side, Sano stealthily peeked out from behind his curtain. For a moment, the light from the bathroom framed Ashiya, making her unruly bed-head seem as a halo around her face. Mentally cursing, he rolled over and clutched his pillow to his chest. How long can this go on? As Sano lay in bed, image after image swirled in his mind's eye- Ashiya laughing, talking, with her arms around him an her lips on his...
This was insanity. Here he was, living with the girl he loved. What an absurd scenario, and he couldn't even do anything about it. Maybe he should confess, tell her what he knew. But would she go away from him? He couldn't stand that- the only thing he wanted has to have her, and only her, by his side- forever. For a moment his mind flicked to Nakatsu- he loved Ashiya, too. But not like he did. Still, he was willing to adopt the stigma of being gay for the girl... but it didn't matter. Nothing but Ashiya. Not now, not ever.
Another noise from outside his bed distracted him from his train of thought. Leaning over, he was about to open the curtain when suddenly, Ashiya's head popped through.
"Argh- Ashiya?? What the hell are you doing??"
Disregarding his protests, the sleepy girl climbed in and made herself at home, curling up with her head on Sano's shoulder.
Sighing, he stared up at the bunk above him for a moment. "Wrong bed, idiot." In response to his voice, Ashiya simply cuddled closer, with her face on his bare chest. "Dammit." But even as he was protesting, Sano's arms slipped around her shoulders. As dangerous as they were, Sano treasured times like these so much. For a moment, in the cover of darkness, he could express to her his true feelings, the ones he had to hide on every other occasion. Looking down at her, a contented smile playing across her face, he couldn't imagine being anywhere but here. Here, by her side, even if she didn't fully realize it. Her face seemed to glow with contentment and beauty.
Softly, gently, he leaned down to her and pressed his lips to her warm cheek. This, this here, was all he would ever need. And he couldn't wait to see her blush when she woke up in his arms tomorrow morning...
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough...
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes,
They're all I can see.
If I lay here
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
-Chasing Cars, by the Snow Patrol
Fin