You worked as a maid in the Phantomhive manor however you were never given very important jobs since you weren't really skilled in a particular area. Most of the time you were simply assigned to make sure Mey-rin didn't fail her own tasks and to clean the large house, which was no easy feat considering the vastness of the Phantomhive manor. You were busy scrubbing the wooden floor of the hall clean when the smell of smoke drifted to your nostrils causing you to give a loud dramatic sigh. You wrinkled your nose in disgust and attempted to hold your breath. Suddenly you heard loud footsteps, that appeared to be getting louder and louder, and looked up to see Mey-rin running into the hallway towards you. She had almost made her way up to you when she managed to slip on the newly cleaned floor and land on her backside with a loud thud and a high pitched squeal. You rose swiftly,dropping your cleaning rag, and extended a grubby hand to help out the clumsy red-head maid up with a smile of amusement.
"Are you alright, Mey-Rin? Why the rush?" You questioned, smirking slightly wondering what has gotten her so worked up this time.
"I'm fine Miss _. I just came to tell you that Mister Sebastian wishes to see you, he does!" She blabbered out quickly smoothing out the wrinkles of her maid dress with her small hands. The smirk that rested on your face immediately fell into a deep frown and your eyes widened in fear. He couldn't have found those nettles that you stuffed into his pillow case already? You only did the dangerous and quite painful task of putting them there a couple of hours ago after you finished your chores for the morning and earned yourself some free time.
"I didn't do it alright? Gosh. He always blames me for everything." You snapped at the maid moodily, making sure to do it extra loudly so that it could be heard by the stupid butler, as you crossed your arms.
"Oh no of course you didn't Miss _! It was Bard as always as you can most probably tell by the smoke…." The maid giggled giving you a sweet smile reassuring you of your worries.
Ah yes. Your plan had not failed just yet. You took your sweet time making your way downstairs, cackling evilly imaging Sebastian's angry face when he lies down on his pillow and gets pricked by the nettles you hid. Of course it was suicide mission however you never did like Sebastian much. Sure he was incredibly good looking and charming as Mey-Rin often liked to point out when she got into one of her obsessive moods but there was something way off about that guy. It's almost as if he was possessed or something. It's inhuman. There was no way one man could be that good at everything and quite frankly it annoyed the hell out of you.
You halted in front of the kitchen to see that the entire room was engulfed in a cloud of grey smoke. A weird crackling sound flew across the room and fizzed towards you. You idly moved out of its way as it fizzed past you and died out landing on the hallway floor with a ridiculous raspberry like plop. That had to be the third time this week that Bard had attempted to use firecrackers to cook a meal and you were not amused. You could just imagine the look on Sebastian's face when he scolds Bard. It will not be one of mercy. The grey cloud slowly began clearing up and the tall, raven haired and very annoyed butler came into view, fanning the room with a towel. Leaning against the counter, holding a flamethrower and looking quite pleased with himself was the blonde American himself, Bard. You slowly walked into the room and went up to stand next to the tall, blonde man looking amused as ever.
After a few more minutes of watching the Phantomhive butler flit around the kitchen with the towel, he came to a stop in front of you.
"You wanted to see me?" You asked him with a smirk. Your eyes flickered to your right for a moment to see that Bard began to light his cigarette with the flamethrower next to you. You decided not to comment on the ridiculous action and instead simply cocked an eyebrow at him for a split moment before turning back to Sebastian. He didn't seem to pleased with Bard's action either and he gave a loud sigh as he shook his head at him.
"I need you to supervise him and make sure he doesn't ruin the dinner again. I am extremely busy this afternoon."
"I'll be fine Sebastian! I can make dinner by myself, no problem." Bard chided in with a toothy grin. Of course he was dutifully ignored by the both of you. You gave a curt nod and counted out your tasks on your fingers "Sure. Supervise the American. Please the brat. Got it!"
Sebastian gave you a small nod of approval and sent a glare in Bard's way before walking out of the kitchen in that elegant and totally sickening way of his.
"Alright so what were you thinking of making?" you asked Bard as you threw an apron over your dress and rolled up the sleeves to your elbows.
"It's broiled salmon today" he replied, beginning to collect and lay the ingredients out on the counter according to the small list he was given, most probably by Sebastian to make sure that the amount of screwups will be minimal.
"Okay, well...what do you think you have to do first, Bard?" you smiled at him encouragingly like a teacher would to a preschooler. It was best to go slowly as you knew this could turn out to be a disaster and your own life would be on the line.
"Well," he began as he scratched his lightly stubbled chin "I need to light the stove first, I think." You both eyed the flamethrower he had left out on the counter. Before any of you could say anything you quickly lunged forward and grabbed the contraption. You then tossed it over your shoulder and out of the window before he could get a chance to retrieve it and cause more chaos.
"Ow!" an adorable male voice cried out from outside. Finnian, the cute but frightfully strong gardener.
"Sorry, Finny!" you called out to him with a small chuckle "Hope that didn't hurt too bad."
You sent Bard a questioning look on what to do next. You were there to supervise him and make sure he didn't screw up, not to do his job for him. He stood there for a few seconds sorting out his thoughts before he slowly went to find some matches and lit the stove, grumbling quietly to himself.
You sat with your legs crossed at the ankles on the hard counter beside the cook, waiting for the salmon to be done. Bard was looking pretty pleased with himself which you thought was quite adorable. He was practically bouncing on the counter in anticipation. This was probably the longest his food has survived without being completely burnt to a crisp pile of charcoal. You slyly lulled your head onto his shoulder causing him to look up at you with a large grin before ruffling your hair endearingly.
"Sebastian will be pretty impressed with you," you began laughing at the almost ridiculous thought of Sebastian being impressed by something or someone "Ciel will most likely be indifferent though."
He chuckled at your remark, taking another drag from his cigarette.
"You know Bard, you're not bad at cooking. You just need to learn to calm down with all the explosives and take your time, okay? Cooking isn't meant to be quick. It's meant to be fun. Like you said, cooking is art but explosions aren't very practical."
"Can't make any promises about the explosives." he gave you a wink "Maybe I need to be supervised more often?"
He jumped down from the countertop and went to take the salmon out of the stove. Carefully, he laid it out onto a plate and you drizzled lemon juice all over it.
"Good job, chef!" You got on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek leaving his face lightly tinted with pink.
"Ahem!"
You both turned around to see Sebastian leaning against the doorway and he did not seem at all happy. You could have sworn you saw his crimson red eyes change into a pink hue but perhaps that was a trick of light. Slowly, you began edging away to hide behind Bard who was looking quite confused.
"_, you do not happen to know which imbecile put those nettles into my pillow case did you?"
"Oh shoot."
After a thousand years of almost demonic lectures from Sebastian, he finally checked on the dinner and found that it was not burnt or poisonous or in any way might make Ciel throw up. Needless to say he was quite impressed for once.
After a hours of peace and quiet, Bard decided to go against your advice and purposely set off his remaining stash of fireworks off in the kitchen just to get the chance to be supervised by you again.
You also found an ant nest in your bed when you went to bed that night. One does not simply mess with Sebastian Michaelis.