It's…
Yet Another Star Warised Monty Python Skit!
TODAY'S EPISODE:
The Pet Shop Sketch- Version 2
Author: Lesietta Wehs aka LP
Rating: PG for a tad of violence suggestion twards animals.
Note: Couldn't resist! I love converting! And yes, in this universe there are cats. And birds and fish. And it's a baby bantha, alright?
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or Monty Python
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Caption: A PET SHOP SOMEWHERE ON CORUSCONT
Han: Good morning, I'd like to buy a kitty.
Jabba: Certainly sir. I've got a lovely bantha. [indicates a box on the counter]
Han: no, I want a cat really.
Jabba: [taking box off counter and then putting it back on counter as if it is a different box] Oh yeah, how about that?
Han: [looking in box] No, that's the bantha.
Jabba: Well, it's as near as sithspit.
Han: Well what do you mean? I want a cat.
Jabba: Listen, tell you what. I'll file its legs down a bit, take its snout out, stick a few wires through its cheeks. There you are, a lovely pussy cat.
Han: Its not a proper cat.
Jabba: What do you mean?
Han: Well it wouldn't meow.
Jabba: Well it would howl a bit.
Han: No, no, no, no. Er, have you got a birdy?
Jabba: No, I'm afraid not actually, we're fresh out of birdys. I'll tell you what though ... I'll lop its back legs off, make good, strip the fur, stick a couple of wings on and staple on a beak of your own choice. [taking small box and rattling it] No problem. Lovely birdy.
Han: how long would that take?
Jabba: Oh, let me see ... er, stripping the fur off, no legs ... [calling] Sebulba ... can you do a birdy job on this bantha straight away?
Sebulba: [off-screen] No, I'm still putting a tuck in the snow lizard, and then I got the sand panthers to let out.
Jabba: Friday?
Han: No I need it for tomorrow. It's a present for Jacen.
Jabba: Oh dear, it's a long job. You see birdy conversion ... Tell you what though, for free, banthas make lovely fish. I mean I could do that for you straight away. Legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe through the back of it's neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint, make good ...
Han: You'd need a very big tank.
Jabba: It's a great conversation piece.
Han: Yes, all right, all right ... but, er, only if I can watch.