Sirius Black plonked the sorting hat on his head. He flinched when he heard the voice.
"Ahh," it said, "A Black and a very curious one at that. Not in the same mould as the rest of the family at all."
At the mention of his family, Sirius abruptly remembered the plan.
"Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw, please Mister Hat. Uh, do you have a name?" he asked, suddenly curious. He felt the Hat bend and flex in surprise.
"Don't think I've heard that question before. Why do you ask?"
"I, uh," Sirius reminded himself that the next seven years being bearable relied on the Hat and it would be best not to offend. "I wanted to be polite." He smiled his most charming smile.
"Hmm, Slytherin reasoning if ever I heard it."
"No, no, Ravenclaw," Sirius protested desperately.
"It really would suit you better than Ravenclaw. Any of the other three would be more suitable than Ravenclaw."
"Why, I like learning stuff? I read books."
"You have no love of knowledge for it's own sake, Sirius Black."
"I can learn, or fake it."
"No, no, no. You would never settle down among Rowena's ravens. For all your curiosity, you're an engineer, not a scientist. And aren't those interestingly Muggle terms for a Black to know."
Sirius glared up at the hat and thought as hard as he could about the library in his mother's house. In his heart though he knew it was hopeless, his brother like knowing things, Sirius liked doing things. Setting his jaw, he thought loudly at the Hat,
"Ravenclaw."
"Well young Black, I don't like students to be unhappy, perhaps if you explain your reasoning I can help."
Something in the way the Hat spoke suggested he knew, but Sirius was being polite so he said,
"I want to be with James. He can't get sorted into Slytherin 'cause he wouldn't be safe. My cousin Bellatrix can be foul enough on her own; the snakes would slaughter Jay. And I won't be allowed into Gryffindor. So we decided to get into Ravenclaw together. So you see I've fucking got to be in Ravenclaw."
"Language Mr Black."
"Oh, sorry."
"A very interesting case."
Something in the Hat's voice made Sirius very nervous. He decided to cut his losses.
"Not Slytherin," he thought, "Please not Slytherin."
"Any particular reason, Mr Black?"
"Any other house and I can at least stay friends with James, but if I go into Slytherin we'll have to be enemies."
"Very well," said the hat implacably, "Loyalty is your one defining trait. You know what that means?"
Sirius cringed, he did know what that meant and his family would not be happy.
"It's worth it," he said, "If I can stay friends with Jay, it's worth it."
"You leave me no choice."
"Go on then."
"HUFFLEPUFF."
-
James twisted anxiously on the spot as he watched Sirius and the Sorting Hat. Sirius was his very best friend and they wanted to be in the same house more than anything.
His parents didn't like Sirius. His mother referred to him as 'that Black boy' and blamed him for James' mischievous streak. If James' father hadn't been trying to negotiate a settlement with Sirius' father, the two of them would never even have met.
They had overheard enough tail-ends of conversations to know both sets of parents expected their 'unsuitable familiarity' would come to an end once they reached Hogwarts. If Sirius ended up in Slytherin James just knew his parents would never have him in the house again and would expect James to drop all association with him. Even more terrifying was that Sirius could be so different around his family that James had the dim inkling that he wouldn't want to associate with a Slytherin Sirius.
Sirius was his almost brother and James refused to let the Hogwarts House system separate them. He'd offered to try and get into Slytherin but Sirius had turned him down flat, claiming even he didn't want to be in Slytherin. James was glad about that because Sirius' older cousins and their friends made him very nervous. James' parents' reactions to Sirius proved it was useless to attempt getting Sirius into Gryffindor, so they had decided to pin their hopes on Ravenclaw.
Unfortunately James could tell from the expression on Sirius' face that things weren't going well. When his mouth fixed into a tight, resigned line, James knew Ravenclaw was out, although he didn't think it was as bad as Slytherin.
So he wasn't completely surprised when the hat said,
"HUFFLEPUFF."
But it did shock him because he'd never imagined Sirius as a Puff. Sirius was too bright and brilliant for the leftovers House. With disbelief he watched Sirius take off the Hat and retreat to the Hufflepuff table. There was a brief, strained round of applause and the Deputy Headmistress hurried on with the Sorting.
As he contemplated what he should do now, James was struck by the inane thought that Sirius and hard work really did not mix. James didn't mix well with hard work either and the treacherous idea snuck into his mind that he didn't actually have to sign up for Hufflepuff. Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs could associate with each other. And after all, it was Sirius who had broken their deal by failing to get into Ravenclaw.
He'd almost convinced himself, when he looked up to see how Sirius was doing at the Hufflepuff table. His best friend was hunched at the very end of the table, under the other Hufflepuffs' sharp, suspicious glances.
As if aware James was watching him, Sirius looked up and caught his eye. His best friend forced a smile, nodded his head and then flicked it in the direction of the Gryffindor table.
James shook his head violently without even thinking about it.
Sirius nodded again.
James shook his head again and glared for good measure.
Sirius glared back.
Suddenly Sirius' attention switched from their staring contest to the front of the room.
"James Potter," said Professor McGonagall, and James was abruptly aware she'd repeated his name at least twice. "Mr Potter would you please join us on the stage."
"Uh sorry," he said pushing his way to the front of the crowd. Setting his shoulders against the roars of laughter, James took his place on the stool and placed the hat on his head.
"Ah ha," said the Hat, "A Potter."
"Hufflepuff please," said James.
"Very decisive. Are you sure? You could be in Gryffindor you know?"
"No thank you." Somehow, now he had Sirius' permission, slinking off to the Gryffindor table was no longer an option. And really, he thought, how much fun would Gryffindor be anyway, without his best friend by his side.
"If you're certain then."
"I am."
"HUFFLEPUFF."
"Thank you."
James removed the hat and crossed to Hufflepuff table surrounded by laughter and whispers of,
"Doesn't even know his own name, no wonder he's a Hufflepuff."
The round of applause from the Puffs was even more desultory than Sirius' as James took a seat beside his best friend. Sirius shot him an evil look.
"What the hell did you do that for, Potter."
"Hey," said James, feeling ridiculously calm, "We said we'd stick together. You haven't cornered the market on stubbornness Black."
"Idiot," scowled Sirius, but he straightened out of his dejected huddle and bumped his shoulder against James'.
"No I'm not," said James with the peace of having made the right choice.
Sirius thumped him on the back, then dropped his fork on the floor and burrowed after it with determination of someone who doesn't know what to say and wouldn't say it if he did. James followed him.
"You're my best friend, you idiot."
"Yeah, who else would break both their legs with you while trying to do a handstand on a moving broomstick. Twice."
"Exactly," said James, pleased that Sirius got it. "But we nailed it in the end, didn't we?"
"Sure did."
"Potter, Black, get out from under the table and stop making a laughing-stock your House," hissed an annoyed voice.
"Huh?" They emerged to the chilly looks of their fellow-Hufflepuffs to find the Sorting was over and the Headmaster standing on lectern.
"Thank you for joining us Mr Black, Mr Potter, if I may begin."
"Oh do go ahead," said Sirius congenially.
James, who had learned very early in their acquaintance not to use rhetorical questions around Sirius, briefly closed his eyes. Opening them, he found the chilly looks had gone down several degrees to frosty.
"Thank you Mr Black," said Dumbledore gravely. "I would like to start by welcoming you all to Hogwarts…"
James didn't pay much attention to the rest of the speech. Belatedly he realised he was going to have to owl his parents and tell them he'd been sorted into Hufflepuff. Sirius was going a little green around the gills, so he knew his best friend was thinking the same thing.
He bumped his shoulder into Sirius' and whispered,
"Together."
Sirius swallowed and managed a weak smile.
-
Sirius' mother sent him a letter full of obscenities that James only let him read after Sirius pointed out he'd hear it all when he went home anyway.
James' parents didn't send anything at all. That was almost worse.