I am trying to write something which is funny, safe, and sane.
Unfortunately, I can't. So this is what you get.
~ Ko (Sarah)
Mrs Ketchum gave Ash a funny look. "What are you hiding?"
"Nothing. Right, Misty?" he shoved something to Misty.
"Absolutely. Absolutely nothing." She shoved it back at him.
"Have you seen some of the photos Todd has? Now that's hiding something." Ash threw it back at Misty.
Mrs Ketchum looked interested for just a moment. "Todd's not my son."
"Hey, Mom," Ash tried to change the subject, "who is my dad?"
"Don't change the subject," she snapped, and grabbed the something from Ash. She gasped. "Where did you get a magazine like that?"
"Uh… the back of your wardrobe, actually."
"And what were you doing in my wardrobe?"
"Well…" Ash gulped.
"We were looking for those magazines," Misty said truthfully.
"How did you know it was there?"
"Someone told us," Ash said.
Misty nodded. "It's true."
Mrs Ketchum headed next door in search of Tracey.
"Hi Tracey," she said.
"Uh," Tracey began, seeing the look on her face, "hi, Delia."
"How come Ash and Misty knew about my magazines?"
"Pokémon Trainer's Mom Weekly? You've never really kept them hidden."
"No, the… other ones. Only you knew about them."
"And I," he said importantly, "only told Prof. Oak when I was severely drunk."
"Why did you tell him?" she looked nervous. "He's a—"
"I was drunk. And don't insult him."
"Professor!" Mrs Ketchum yelled.
He dashed down the stairs. "Ah. Delia. Is there a problem?"
"Yes there damn well is a problem!"
He looked a little flustered. "What?"
"Did Tracey tell you… about… um…"
"He told me where he was staying the other night, yes, which wasn't camping out with Ash."
"He told you about that as well. Oh no, my life cannot get any worse."
"Where DID he stay, Mom?"
"It's got worse."
"He also told me about your magazines. I told Prof. Ivy. No one else. She was seriously doped up at the time, I didn't think she'd remember, I didn't think she'd survive. She'd taken an overdose!"
"Prof. Ivy? Oh no…"
Tracey handed Mrs Ketchum recent copy of "Pokémon Researchers Magazine". She flipped through it to the letters page.
"'I, Prof. Ivy, have news for all of you that thought you knew Delia Ketchum. She—'" Mrs Ketchum stopped reading. "Uh oh."
"Having a party here?" Brock asked, appearing behind Ash.
"Nah, Mom's gone all screwy on us," Ash explained.
"What about?"
For Brock's sake Mrs Ketchum tried to cover the magazine. But he saw the name "Prof. Ivy" printed under the letter.
"Her again?" he sighed. "She made up a load of junk about some magazines in the back of Mrs K's wardrobe. As a joke I told Ash and Misty."
"Oh good, glad I got to the bottom of it… What did happen to make you go all weird about her?"
"She's… she's…" Brock dropped his voice to a whisper. "She's really a man."
~ Ko (Sarah)
Mrs Ketchum gave Ash a funny look. "What are you hiding?"
"Nothing. Right, Misty?" he shoved something to Misty.
"Absolutely. Absolutely nothing." She shoved it back at him.
"Have you seen some of the photos Todd has? Now that's hiding something." Ash threw it back at Misty.
Mrs Ketchum looked interested for just a moment. "Todd's not my son."
"Hey, Mom," Ash tried to change the subject, "who is my dad?"
"Don't change the subject," she snapped, and grabbed the something from Ash. She gasped. "Where did you get a magazine like that?"
"Uh… the back of your wardrobe, actually."
"And what were you doing in my wardrobe?"
"Well…" Ash gulped.
"We were looking for those magazines," Misty said truthfully.
"How did you know it was there?"
"Someone told us," Ash said.
Misty nodded. "It's true."
Mrs Ketchum headed next door in search of Tracey.
"Hi Tracey," she said.
"Uh," Tracey began, seeing the look on her face, "hi, Delia."
"How come Ash and Misty knew about my magazines?"
"Pokémon Trainer's Mom Weekly? You've never really kept them hidden."
"No, the… other ones. Only you knew about them."
"And I," he said importantly, "only told Prof. Oak when I was severely drunk."
"Why did you tell him?" she looked nervous. "He's a—"
"I was drunk. And don't insult him."
"Professor!" Mrs Ketchum yelled.
He dashed down the stairs. "Ah. Delia. Is there a problem?"
"Yes there damn well is a problem!"
He looked a little flustered. "What?"
"Did Tracey tell you… about… um…"
"He told me where he was staying the other night, yes, which wasn't camping out with Ash."
"He told you about that as well. Oh no, my life cannot get any worse."
"Where DID he stay, Mom?"
"It's got worse."
"He also told me about your magazines. I told Prof. Ivy. No one else. She was seriously doped up at the time, I didn't think she'd remember, I didn't think she'd survive. She'd taken an overdose!"
"Prof. Ivy? Oh no…"
Tracey handed Mrs Ketchum recent copy of "Pokémon Researchers Magazine". She flipped through it to the letters page.
"'I, Prof. Ivy, have news for all of you that thought you knew Delia Ketchum. She—'" Mrs Ketchum stopped reading. "Uh oh."
"Having a party here?" Brock asked, appearing behind Ash.
"Nah, Mom's gone all screwy on us," Ash explained.
"What about?"
For Brock's sake Mrs Ketchum tried to cover the magazine. But he saw the name "Prof. Ivy" printed under the letter.
"Her again?" he sighed. "She made up a load of junk about some magazines in the back of Mrs K's wardrobe. As a joke I told Ash and Misty."
"Oh good, glad I got to the bottom of it… What did happen to make you go all weird about her?"
"She's… she's…" Brock dropped his voice to a whisper. "She's really a man."