Disclaimer: Xenosaga is The property of Monolith Soft and Bandai-Namco

Fratricide

Blue eyes watched with a blank look that reflected the emptiness in their owner the setting sun that gradually painted his surroundings red...the color of blood. The boy propped his foot up on the wooden bench that he was sitting on, recalling how the three of them liked to watch the sight that played before him under the crystalline dome in the gardens of the Institute. A fleeting smile tugged at his lips as he rememberd his brothers' happy faces as they passed the time, talking and laughing, until the warm light that engulfed them dimmed like a candle flame in a pool of melted wax.

He wondered who should be blamed for depriving them of that happiness: their father who raised them only to use them like tools?Joachim Mizrahi for resorting to the song that served as the prelude to the war that they all had been dragged into? Or was it him, the one who deliberately broke the link, fully aware of the chaos that will ensue?

"Rubedo! Don't let go of my hand. RUBEDOOO!"

Albedo's plea echoed in his ears, and a horrified shudder quaked his being from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes as he recalled that firm, imploring tugging on his hand. The sight of Albedo's terrified face and the tears that didn't stop falling from his eyes that damped his clothes was imprinted in his memory like letters carved into a gravestone.

"So, here where you've been all along."

Jr.'s lamenting musing was interrupted by a warm, concerned voice, and he lifted his eyes to find Shion, who was kneeling in front of him. He inquired, more out of politeness than being interested, "What's up?"

"HQ called." Shion stood up, "Allen and I will be leaving tonight."

Jr. smirked, "I hope it's not about you hijacking that E.S.!"

"Who knows?" Shion shrugged as she took a seat beside him, trying arduously not to let the anxiety that was eating at her show on her face. If her superiors were really intending to give her the boot, where on earth could she find a decent job with what Jr. had just mentioned written in red, bold letters in her records?

"If worse comes to worst, you two are welcome to join us in the foundation," Jr. offerred, and rubbed the nape of his neck in embarrassment as he added, "considering our relations with Vector, we can't let you into the Durandal, but I'm sure with your qualifications, we'll be able to find you a job in a snap elsewhere!"

"Thanks!"

Jr. felt a blush creep onto his cheeks when Shion flashed him a sweet smile and placed her hand appreciatively on his, making his skin tingle.

"What are your plans?" She inquired after she retracted her hand, "are you going to track down the original Zohar?"

"Probably!" He cleared his throat, shrugging his sudden awkwardness off. "Depends on whatever Representative Helmer has in mind."

Shion turned her gaze towards the sun that now touched the line of the horizon. She propped her elbows on her thighs and cupped her cheeks. "I wonder what was that thing that absorbed the Zohar? Was it really a gnosis? I had no idea that there could be a gnosis even bigger than the Cathedral Ship!"

"Beats me!" Jr. shrugged, replying listlessly. He didn't think much about it, since his mind had been occupied with the heaviness of his sin. No matter what horrible things Albedo had done, his brother was still a victim of unfortunate circumstances. He was supposed to reach out to Albedo and pull his soul out of the madness that U-DO drowned him in, not fall for his provocations like a little kid and answer to them with an aim at his forehead.

Shion watched his depressed profile, the corner of her mouth curling in indecisiveness whether it was appropriate to discuss the matter with him. She finally cast her sight downwards, broaching carefully, "you can talk to us whenever you feel ready about what happened between you two in the space-time anomaly. Everyone's been worried about you."

"This isn't some boo-boo that you can make go away by blowing on it and kissing it, Shion," Jr. retorted, trying to keep his tone even. Next, his throat suffocated with the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. "I killed him, I succumbed to the Red Dragon that was roaring inside me to let him at U-DO's minion."

His nails dug into his palms as he added heatedly, "my God-damned hands are stained with the blood of my own brother! It was my fault to begin with when I broke the spiritual link. Albedo had every right to blame me and wanting to get back at me all those years."

A tear rolled down his cheek. "I should've just let him kill me back in Proto Merkabah, so I won't witness the day that I killed him with my own hands and watched him die before my eyes..."

"Don't say such a thing!" Shion rebuked, placing her hand on his shoulder and shook it twice to emphasize on her reasoning, "you were merely a child fourteen years ago, your shoulders were placed with more than it could carry. You did all you were able to do: what a child could do."

"Even knowng that, I just can't forgive myself!" Jr. retorted throatily, not meeting her eyes.

Shion frowned. It was like with her yesterday when Jin tried to comfort and reason with her when she was crying her eyes out. Just like the young man before her, she was merely a helpless child back in Miltia of fourteen years ago: running away was the only thing that she could do to block her sight off the atrocities that she could not stop. But even being aware of that, she too could not forgive herself.

"So, basically, you're saying that even repentance and being aware of your limitations can't erase the sins that you committed. Are you saying that self-loathing is your only way of atonement?" She sighed in grief, "That is so sad!"

Jr. smiled and placed his hand on hers and squeezed it. "Thanks anyway for trying to make me feel better." And he winked at her as he got up and stretched out his arms. "You know, Shion, if I was a little taller and my voice a little raspier, I would've loved to ask you out, but right now, it's coffee and your choice of dessert on me."

Shion blushed at that, she always seemed to forget that she was actually dealing with someone who, despite his juvenile appearance, was five years her senior. She quipped under her breath, "you get away with a lot of things around women choosing to remain in that size, mister."