October 26, 2009
Day 1 of 5
Five more days, you tell yourself.
Five more days- then you'll be gone, you'll be out of their hair.
Your last favor.
You're walking around in a daze.
Things are neither black, nor white, nor Technicolor.
You're dwelling in gray.
You can't escape it, can't hide, it's too overwhelming.
Weak at first glance, yet stronger than you ever could've imagined.
You don't notice.
You don't notice Derrick's regretful stare, or Cam's sorry expression, or Claire's torn glance.
You don't notice Alicia's proud smirk, or Dylan's content smile, or Kristen's oblivious facade.
It doesn't matter anymore.
You go over the plan in your head, until it's absolutely foolproof.
You don't feel lonely.
You don't miss them.
And yet, all the same, you're miserable, you want out, you want it to end.
And it will.
Five more days.
The thought gives you strength, and you walk onward, through the day, head held high and eyes hard.
They aren't amber anymore, they don't flicker, they don't shine.
They're dark, they're hard, and they're unfamiliar.
You're Massie Block.
And you've changed, you're not who you used it be.
It's all their fault.
~-~-~
I
guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things
ever be the same again?
~-~-~