a/n: Describing the emotional roller coaster these Support convos was would be... soapy. Very soapy. Or I'm just a terrible person who
spewed soda everywhere when I saw I could S all of my "siblings". And then, BLAhM! But the writing felt forced. So...MORE BLAhM!
I will also do F!Corrin/Ryoma for Revelations, once I'm done dying miserably in Conquest because Insane Classic or no go. LIEFGOALS
Update(Aug19): Yeah rehaul. I apparently shouldn't finish chapters when I'm up waaaay too late at night. Sorry n
[Birthright Path]
I am acknowledging the astral plane
as canonical & it happens, nightly.
All of the characters/in-general content belongs to Nintendo/Fire Emblem Fates;
this is purely for-fun nonprofit fanfiction.
A Tide We Couldn't Turn - by R-isForRebel
x1 - Can't Stop This Feelin'~
Where did it all begin?
At first, there had been nothing to pay attention to. A simple nothing easily buried in the chest, forlorn and abominable in its intentions, meant for another life, another set of circumstances. It had been so easy to ignore, pushed off as a passing fancy or the wanderings of an idle mind, but perhaps that is what made it fester so. Instead of being forgotten, it grew, acting as if a parasite with insatiable appetite, left alone to manifest itself in ways irreversible. That same nothing became something, getting caught in the throat as it suffocated and overpowered any attempt to quell it; no amount of self-loathing or tides of shame seemed to prevent what would undoubtedly be his undoing.
He had known it was there, from the very moment his eyes had initially fallen upon her. Without word from the others, he, at first, never would have made the correlation that she was the stolen princess of Hoshido, stunned to silence by what had become of her behind walls of ice and magic. Every part nof her had simply enraptured him upon the spot, a sight he had not seen in many years when the Nohrian King Garon had imprisoned a much younger, far more innocent child. Some base part of him had watched the way her hips swayed, trailing the curve of her collarbone, the arch of her back...
His eyes had continued to follow her, even after her rejection of her Nohrian siblings, longer still since she had sworn to the Hoshidan banner. Time and time again, he had tried to connect the woman he now knew to the child he had once sworn by his father to protect, yet it seemed utterly impossible. What he had originally thought was him simply trying to protect a sibling, had become an urge superior to just that, striking unfamiliar fear into him as she parleyed, absolute in his need to be at her side with complete disregard to the questions that came afterward. Fleeing without mention to Nohr and joining the Resistance, burying himself in training, berating himself with speeches of honoring the dead, returning to Scarlet; none of it mattered.
Ryoma Hoshido, in love with his long-lost little sister Corrin. Fate had truly done all but spit directly upon his honor.
Yet, here he laid, stretched out across grass of the Astral Plane underneath an array of Hishodan cherry blossom trees, feeling no true guilt or dissuasion. Beyond the fact that his bright-red gusokou was in an array beside him instead of on his being, it had become an all-too common sight to see the High Prince brooding here, entertaining those very thoughts deemed forbidden. Corrin was meant to be his sister, regardless of their lacking blood ties. His father, King Sumeragi, and Queen Mikoto had wanted them to be a undivided family, his step-mother dreaming of a day that they could be reunited while spending many of her days trying to reclaim what she had lost. Ryoma, too, had spent years preparing himself alongside Hinoka for their reunion, but now...
A growl seemed to come from him every time the thought of the senseless heart that beat steadily in his chest, stiff as stone to any of this romantic nonsense before the day she came into his life. The irony in it being her, of all others, was nothing but bitter as it stood firm in the face of a dream realized, going against everything learned. All he could think of is how his by-blood sisters Hinoka and Sakura would look at him, think of him, if they were to ever know. He balked at the thought of Takumi's opinion, already knowing most of the harsh words that would fly from his younger brother's mouth before better could be made of it.
He dared not even think of what his father would say, or do.
Most nights, Ryoma couldn't bring himself to leave this very spot, disillusioned with his demons to the extent of refusing the company of others. He instead enthralled himself in an illusionists solace that often fooled him into thinking he was back in Hoshido, living out the days before any true peril, no matter the reality that they were actually inside the borders of Nohr. The Fort truly looked like a slice of the Capital itself, taking one's breath away no matter how many times their eyes were to set upon it. While making camp had once been a pastime mostly enjoyed, there was a strange comfort in knowing both of his retainers were not breathing down his necks even in the hours of preferable solitude, coupled with the distinct abundance of personal space.
Although he refused to admit it, even to himself, the major reason he had chosen this spot of all of them had been because of the distinctly minimal yard that separated him from Corrin's quarters, giving him an easy view of the entirety. Thinking about it too hard brought only a cheap answer of to maintain her security, ignoring the lack of his own. It sat lodged in a tree of its own, the only one of the many to bloom green leave, unlike the lodgings shared by their comrades close to the Fort's external throne, towering over the cherry blossoms. Albeit not one of them, it had become speckled with the pink petals over time, growing twisted vines around the wood that seemed to be beginning to give bloom to its own maroon flowers.
With a heavy sigh, Ryoma pushed himself up off the ground, rising up to a seated position despite his eyes remaining lowered. For days now, he had carried a letter for Corrin from Queen Mikoto underneath his cuirass, leaving it close to his heart yet fearful of what unintended consequences giving it to her would achieve. It felt sickening to actually have a dilemma on what to do with these...feelings, suddenly finding them as equally perilous as the war they now waged with Nohr with an endless effect of twisting his gut into knots. Anyone else, and it would have all been so simple.
"Lord Ryoma."
A familiar rough and monotone rang out, piercing through the silence. Ryoma rose his eyes to meet a one-eyed man with pulled back red hair leaning up against the tree closest to him before waving a hand with stern enthusiasm. "Saizo."
"You have not done your morning routine in some time now."
The heavy sigh that came as a response seemed to momentarily shock the retainer, his eye slowly scanning across his liege's features as Ryoma casually stretched himself upward. "Is there something you need of me, Saizo?"
"You said I could tell you about any concerns I had."
"Has something come up?"
"...maybe."
Bitter laughter escape from Ryoma's throat. "You sound uncertain. That's unlike you."
"I'll be frank. This," Saizo began, using one arm to encompass all of Ryoma's person, "This needs to be dealt with." His expression remained unchanged, his one good eye unwavering in its frigid message. Confusion spread across the High Prince's features, earning him a hollow exhale of frustration from his shadow.
"...Is there something you believe you can't discuss with me, Saizo?" Ryoma's kept his eyes on the unfamiliar sky above them, watching it slowly come to a dim blue. Dawn of a new day had finally come, and with it, still no revelation. Like clockwork, it wouldn't be long until the others began to wake, Corrin herself emerging to dance across the wooden balcony in some strange attempt to wake herself up.
"The question is, rather, my liege, do you believe you can discuss it with me if you cannot with her?"
The bewilderment that had spread across Ryoma's face found itself quickly replaced by a bitter recognition before Saizo had even finished speaking the words. Biting back unfamiliar resentment, he attempted to remain casual, shrugging. "We intended to go over formation before-"
Taught and loud laughter, short in bursts as they may have been, cut through his words. Definitely not what he was hoping for.
Ryoma gave an exasperated huff, throwing his hands up in defeat before running one forehead to chin across his own face. Even if words had not actually passed between the two of them, his shadow was as proficient at his job as he was obsessively observant despite being down an eye; believing he could keep anything from Saizo had been entirely wishful thinking. "Has Kagero taken notice?"
"Long ago."
"L-long ago?" Ryoma's words came out stuttered, groaning loudly at his own inability to hide anything from his retainers. "How long ago?" Saizo sighed, waving one hand from side to side dismissively.
"Long enough. But that's not why I am here, my liege."
Ryoma busied himself impulsively by picking up pieces of his gusokou and fastened them onto his person, trying to make sense of the scrambled brain that seemed to inhabit him. Making eye contact with his shadow was the last thing he wanted right now. "Tell me, Saizo. Do you remember the letter I was to give Corrin?" He tapped over his heart with index and middle finger.
"You're...How long have you been carrying that, my liege?"
"This is where I say not now."
Saizo gave a somber nod. "You speak of her birth."
Ryoma sighed yet again, rubbing his forehead with his right palm at Saizo's continued straight forwardness. "Really no hiding anything from you, is there."
Just as a glint of amusement flared in Saizo's eyes, the familiar crash of Corrin's lodging's door hitting the outter wall echoed out, followed by an orange-haired figure prancing in a nonsensical way across the balcony it had. Although barely visible to them, Corrin was already dressed in her Nohrian plate and had bound her hair up at the side of her head with little braiding. Grabbing hold of the railings, she leaned over them and bellowed "Goooooood moorrrrning!" Saizo turned only his head toward her, ever unchanging in his expression.
"If you're trying to wake everybody in the Fort, you have certainly succeeded, Lady Corrin." Somewhere along the line, even Saizo had warmed up to Corrin, choosing to forego his normal response of disappearing and to remain easily visible to her with a voice loud enough to engage in a conversation he would have normally chosen to avoid entirely. One of his hands even rose above his head, letting some warmth into his calculating stare as he waved in return to her.
Corrin took grip of Yato resting at her side in both hands, throwing herself over the side rail of her balcony to swiftly descend the tree and break her fall with a roll, ending the fiasco with an effortless bounce back up to her feet. She made quick work of the handful of strides it took to reach them, returning Saizo's wave as she walked. "Nice to see you too, Saizo. I didn't mean to interrupt the two of you, but my brother wanted to spar this-"
Ryoma reflexively flinched at her use of the word 'brother' despite her obliviousness to it, earning a cold stare from Saizo. "No, Lady Corrin, I was just about to take my leave. Mozu made promise of dumplings I can't miss out on." Saizo curtly bowed with one arm across his chest, first toward Ryoma and again to Corrin, rising only to come face-to-face with her on her tip-toes pouting. "Ah- I will make sure to save some for you."
"You better!" Corrin's voice was stern, yet mocking, as her gauntlet-ed finger came out and poked Saizo softly on the chest. "Between you and Hana, I can never get any of Mozu's food. It's like she knows exactly when I'm training with brother."
Again, Ryoma flinched, this time earning a scoff from Saizo. "Never fear, my lady. I swear to defend your plate this time." He turned, swivelling his gaze to his liege still sprawled out on the ground before vanishing into what seemed like thin air.
"H-hey! Wait! De-Defend it this time?!"
Corrin wheeled around, seemingly leaping across the entire field in an attempt to pounce on top of the master of shadows whilst furiously flailing in circles around the trees sputtering rage-filled outbursts. At some point in the ordeal, she had slammed Yato by the blade into the ground, coming back to it only once covered in sweat and exhaling in defeat. But instead of maintaining that same light-hearted enthusiasm, she kicked Yato with idle disposition, placing her hands on her hips and stretching her neck up to stare at the sky above her.
"Dumplings can't possibly be that important." Ryoma had risen to his feet, now fully covered in his red gusokou and holding his chin strap armor underneath the same arm he rested on Raijinto. "Is something wrong?"
"Hmm?" Her gaze remained unbroken, staring up at the sky, her eyes maticulously scanning a sky she now found more familiar than the one in their home world. She attempted to remain silent and ignorant as peace slowly stretched back across her features, waiting until he came to stand at her side before finally bringing her head down level to Ryoma's. "...No, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
Ryoma's hand moved as if it had a mind of its own, gently placing itself on top of her shoulder and squeezing softly and causing Corrin to almost nervously chew on her bottom lip. "Are you sure? You can confide in me, Corrin. You have been a bit...forlorn, since we last spoke." Warmth flooded his voice, sending a rush of color across her cheeks.
"I..." She inhaled sharply before letting free a defeated sigh. "Well, if I'm being completely honest... I've been thinking a lot about us. I mean, our family," she began, earning another flinch from Ryoma as the word 'family' came free despite his best efforts to prevent it. Just another bleak reminder that what he was doing, what he was feeling, was wrong. "I truly enjoy hearing stories about the past, but at the same time... they make me incredibly sad. I feel like I've missed out on so much, these memories I can never share with you."
"So that's what's been weighing you down." A heart-warming smile spread across his face, somehow touched. "Listen, Corrin. It's important to remember that we can't change the past. We can only try to shape our future. So, since you don't have any memories right now, we'll just have to make new ones together. We're reunited now." Regret was the first thing that came to his mind. There were so many words better suited he could have chosen, things he could have said, wanted to say, yet...
"Thank you, Ryoma, for your wisdom." Her words came out tender, yet her hands had balled into fists at her side as she said the words. There was no need for her to speak the question he already knew she was asking herself; who wouldn't be doubting themselves? She was everything, making waves rather than simple ripples.
Ryoma gave another reassuring squeeze before removing his hand from it, reaching inside his front cuirass to pull a necklace free and over his head. Upon the simple chain was an intricate ring made of a dark red metal, shaped in the Hoshido crest and emblazoned with jewels, her name etched intricately into the inside. He carefully put it into his hand, outstretching it to offer up to it's rightful owner. "Remember how I said I had something for you?"
Plucking it from his palm, she inspected and turned it over, stunned. "Whoa. That's quite a ring. Are you really-"
Ryoma sputtered, dropping his chin strap armor on the ground between them carelessly as he began to wave his hands from side to side in emphasis to his denial. "N-Nothing like that! It's from all of us." Corrin laughed in a distinctly cold note, throwing her entire body back into it as Ryoma picked up his chin strap. Something about the way she looked at it, stared at it, was almost unsettling, an idle thumb rolling it across her palm.
"You had me worried for a moment."
Tsk. "The four of us had it made for you a long time ago. We vowed to give it to you, upon your eventual return."
"I... It's beautiful. Thank you, Ryoma. I'm so happy to finally be a part of my real family." Corrin said the words with an unmistakable sadness, straining herself to sound at least somewhat enthused. "It's like my first family heirloom." Ryoma picked it out from her hands impulsively, jerking himself into motion to hide his near-violent twitch, to raise the chain over her head before slowly lowering and allowing it to fall over-top her breastplate with Corrin watching him curiously.
"You don't have to wear it right away." Without expression, Corrin quietly searched his face for some hint of his. Instead of responding to her inquiry, he gave a weak smile, reaching into his cuirass and pulling forth a well-weather worn envelope. Her eyes followed his arm, staring at the yellowing paper and fading ink that spelt her name. "But you do have to win, to get this."
"You know I'm going to win this time."
Ryoma spun around, waving the envelope around with two fingers as he made distance between the two of them. As he turned back to face her, Corrin pulled Yato free from the earth, slashing in an x formation before keeping it in one hand at her side. "We'll see about that."
** gusoku/gusokou: modern samurai armor, made primarily with metal plates rather than traditional leather