Knowing Love
A/N: I do not own Gakuen Alice. But, it would be awesome if I did.
"Love makes everything meaningful in our life."
This story is inspired by the rain while on the way home from school one day
and the piano located at bottom floor near the end of the side stairs in our school
where most students play their favorite songs.
Written in Natsume's POV
I don't believe in love.
Yes, I have said that a couple of times before. But now, those words won't even enter my thoughts anymore. When I was younger, I was opposed to a lot of things. I was against having an ambition to work hard for, wishing for your dreams to come true, and – lastly – falling in love. I had thought these things were all absurd and inconsequential in life.
However, I was proven wrong.
It was like someone wanted – no, wished – for me to take back and eat up all the firmly opposed statements that came out from my mouth.
Everything changed ever since that day…
… the day I came to know of love.
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"Love is useless, insignificant, and just plain stupid. It makes people lose their sense of judgment against others. It is the thing that causes confusion among human beings. That's why I don't believe in it." My statement was steadfast. Some could argue but they will realize it is true afterwards.
Questioning eyes focused on me. I could feel the depth of their thoughts just by looking at their expressions. It was always like this when it comes to my answers to questions they give me. I don't know what on earth is wrong with them– people. I only answered them based on what I know, what I believe in.
"Mr. Hyuuga, you have an interesting conviction – as always. Your answers to questions are very… extraordinary," the blonde, gay teacher – Narumi – stated as he flashed an astounded smile towards me. Seriously, his smiles make me feel shivers. It's like he's ready to grab me anytime and… you know… be gay and all. He gestured for me to sit down and called on the next one in line for the extemporaneous speaking.
I looked at the person he called next. Maya Takana. How boring. She would just probably giggle and giggle… and do some more giggle. Well, that was what she always did everytime she's asked to speak in front of the class. I placed my elbow on top of the table and rested my chin on my hand, and sighed.
"Hey Nat," a voice whispered to me.
I slowly turned around to hear out my friend who was seated behind me. "What?" I asked.
"I just don't get it. Alright, love may cause confusion. But, it's neither useless, insignificant nor stupid," he stated as he gave me that usual look – the one with the perplexed and convincing feel to it as if he's trying to let you agree with him or something.
Here we go again. Why am I always getting this kind of feedbacks from my so-called extraordinary answers? Honestly, I am not obliged to answer any of their questions. What the hell.
"Ruka, that's your opinion. It's different from mine. So, deal with it," I answered as I ran a hand through my hair tediously, a habit that I do when I was forced to answer something that I'm probably going to be annoyed about. Then, I gave out a yawn and stretched my arms up in the air – to keep myself awake as Maya's giggling finished and the next one was called. I looked at my friend again. "And, besides, you've never even felt how it is to actually love somebody. How could you possibly tell?" I added and smirked afterwards.
There was a pause and a jagged sigh was heard from Ruka. He inched closer to me and whispered, "I did, Natsume. Remember?" I wanted to laugh and tell him how silly he sounds right now.
"Yeah and that was love for you? Oh come on, dude. You were in second grade!" I blurted out quite loudly as I couldn't control my amusement.
Heads turned to look at us, the speaker – whom I recognized as Kenji Mitsumoto – even stopped in mid-sentence to stare at us, and – lastly – the blonde teacher looked at us with amused eyes that really did irritate me. God. They aren't normal. Really. What's wrong with saying something out loud for a change?
"What?" I asked, giving them each a doubting glance.
I heard a soft slam on my right. Ruka's head was perfectly hidden by his crossed arms as he choked in the humiliation. Well, it's not really that mortifying, right?
But then again, I did blurt out one of his deepest, darkest secrets.
What the hell. Do even people care about that in our time?
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'Second Grade Love – true or not, Ruka Nogi?'
Today's headlines completely gave me proof that I'm wrong. I underestimated people when I said that they wouldn't care about someone's secret. Who knows? Maybe I'm just one of those people who don't give a damn about other people's lives unless their secret has something to do with me.
"Is this serious... serious?" Koko asked, incredulous. I folded the newspaper and placed it on top of the table as I focused on my friends' discussion. Yuu put down his cup of coffee; the gaming device Mochu seemed to play with was quietly, lying on the table – with the game still in progress.
"...Sort of... Well... yes." It was obvious to anyone that Ruka was just forced to answer Koko's question.
"It was all because of Natsume."
My ears peaked up as soon as I heard my name being mentioned. "What about me?" I questioned.
"Yeah, act innocent, dude. Great way to be proven guilty," Ruka sarcastically pointed out.
I know he's pissed and all. But, what did I do wrong? Mochu, Yuu, and Koko stared at both of us. We were like having this invisible fight of glares. At the back of Ruka about two meters away from us, I could see Hotaru's face flush bright red as she read the newspaper. Her once stoic, ashen face was no more.
"Ruka, I never knew that" – I began, breaking the silence between us – "the witch does know how to be embarrassed because of silly love in second grade." I gave him a grin, amused.
Just like what he would do, he turned around quickly. He witnessed Hotaru dumping the newspaper in the trash bin and walking out of the cafeteria, fuming with anger as her hands clenched into a tight fist. I saw Ruka – for the first time in the entire eleven years of knowing him – go pale. And it amused me to a great extent.
"Witch?"
Ruka and I turned to look at our other three friends. Oh. I forgot. They don't know a thing why I'm so entertained and why and what Ruka is so anxious about. Ruka, with no choice at all, sighed and decided to tell them the whole story. He told them almost everything about the headlines and how Hotaru became his first love and all. Well, all I could say it that it's much better to see it during the time it was actually happening to be able to think through on how childish and immature they were back then. After my friend was done narrating the whole thing, I saw Mochu, Koko and Yuu gawk at what he had said. I was like saying 'welcome to the club' to the three of them as I gave them a nod of approval, meaning that it's all true.
"You mean, Hotaru Imai?" Koko's mouth was still hanging open, as if waiting for a fly to enter just for it to close.
"That's the scariest thing I've ever met!" Mochu blurted out after ten seconds of processing the thought that Ruka's first love in second grade was no other than Imai, who was known as the non-human among humans. Yeah, go figure.
"Thing?" Yuu asked being a perfectionist himself, as he fixed his glasses atop his nose.
"Well, she's not human, right? Therefore, she's a thing!" Mochu retorted quite seriously.
I laughed – quite loudly. Koko was controlling himself from laughing; Yuu covered his face with a book; Mochu stared at us completely dumbfounded; last but not least, Ruka had his rare straight face on.
Very amusing. Indeed.
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I looked at my watch.
5:30 pm
How did it turn out this late? I need to go home now if I don't want to hear a long discussion of how important it is to take notice of time and unearthing all my previous mistakes that I already regretted doing. Yeah... mothers. I just don't get how they could say so much in one single slip-up.
'You will fetch Aoi from her piano lessons for a month if you disobey one of my rules again.' That was what she strictly pointed out to me last time I went home around six in the evening because I fell asleep inside the library. When I woke up, it was around this hour. However, I met heavy traffic on the way home due to the storm that brought heavy rain with it. As if I wanted it to rain.
But, there is no downpour this time.
I returned the books to the librarian and, then, went out of the library. I went towards the center staircase and saw the passageway locked already. These guards sure know how to keep students away from school for weekends. Annoyed and frustrated, I headed for the side staircase located at the right side of the building. It sure was a long walk, so I began running after a minute or so.
Luckily, I was just in time to see the guard about to lock the passage. After he let me through, I thanked him politely and proceeded with the pursuit of living or dying. You may say I'm exaggerating. However, if you were the one to take an eleven-year-old girl who doesn't even want to attend her lessons and will continue to bug you to drop her off some ice cream parlor where she will meet up with her friends for weekend fun, wouldn't you be aggravated? You could've just stayed at home, doing nothing but watch your favourite basketball and soccer game or play your video games all day long. C'mon, have some love for yourself.
I was running my way down the staircase. A faint sound of music - produced - by a piano echoed from the ground floor. It was soft, calm and extremely divine. I never knew that this kind of music can be played on the piano because what I've heard from my sister was all heavy playing. It sounded so wreck and chaotic everytime. I don't know why my mom still insists on having her attend those lessons when you could clearly assess that you would just be wasting money because nothing could help her play well or strike a decent note on the said instrument. As I neared the last floor, my running became a slow walk down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible.
Seated on the piano stool was a girl with auburn wavy hair that reached her back. Entranced, completely captured by the music that this unfamiliar girl played, I started to close my eyes and feel the notes dancing in the air.
For the first time, I felt light-hearted. My heart was thumping so loudly inside my chest, making me think that I must be sick or something. But, no, it wasn't any of that. Even though I didn't knew it back then, the tingly sensation I felt was actually something closely related to what they call love.
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"Aoi, I won't take you to the mall or the ice cream parlor. You need to go to your lessons," I told my sister as she kept on claiming that these lessons are a big waste of time and how boring it is to spend three hours playing piano.
I wanted to shove her out of my car and turn back home to play video games. Didn't she realize that I, too, think that this whole thing is a waste of time and money? Oh c'mon, letting a girl, who doesn't even want to play piano, attend lessons? Nothing can help her to do well. The initiative must come from her, not from other people. For Pete's endless sake.
"Brother! I'm begging youuuu!" She pleaded, hands clasped together with teary-wide eyes.
"For the hundredth time, Aoi. No," I stated, irritated, as I focused my attention on the road. It was irritating enough that I had to drive her to the studio for a month. Could she just be a good, obedient girl and just keep quiet? God.
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So, I dropped off my annoying sister to her piano lessons. She kept on whining on how sickening it is to be locked up in a soundproof room for three hours and how unimportant this thing is in her life. She even screamed at my face that she'll never recognize me as a brother for I mistreat her like how I didn't take care of my pet goldfish when I was nine.
A nine-year-old boy would rather play outside and go home late rather than take care of a pet he didn't even gave a name to, alright? Geez. I wish she would just stop throwing that sick reason at me.
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I pulled over the parking lot as I stepped out of the car. Guess what? I'm in school during a Saturday.
I went upstairs – third floor to be exact, turned left then another right, and went inside the library. As expected, there were about less than ten students in there – most of them people with big round glasses. As if I care.
"Mr. Hyuuga, first time seeing you here on a Saturday," the librarian greeted with her gentle smile.
I nodded politely and replied, "Yes, I guess so. I had to drop off my sister to her lessons. And, well, I decided I could use some reading as I wait for her to finish. I got nothing to do anyways."
For three years, Mrs. Naomi has been the librarian here. And I've been going here every day for three consecutive years as well. So yeah, she's much like a grandmother to me. She reminds me everytime I fall asleep while reading and how much noise I make whenever I go here with my friends.
"That's good. You're being a nice brother now, aren't you? Keep it up." She smiled. "Oh, and good luck with your exams this week. I heard the teachers talking" – she lowered her voice and went near me – "they say it's quite hard and they based the questions from five reference books per subject."
"Are they nuts?"
She gave out a laugh. "They sure are. I just don't get why they have to be so sadistic."
After a long chat with my so-called grandmother, I proceeded looking into some books that may be references of our sadistic teachers. I sat down a table near a large window that faced the east where the school's botanical garden lies.
An hour passed and I felt a bit sleepy. There's two more hours to spend before I fetch my sister. Tired of reading the same material for the past hour, I decided to enjoy some of the garden's view for a change. And, to my surprise, the brunette I saw yesterday was there, talking to a guy with black hair and a star tattoo.
Of course, this caught my interest. I don't know why but there's this undeniable attraction that's telling me to look at her.
"Natsume? Dude, you're here too?" A voice called out as I almost fell out of my chair.
"Duuude, chill. Why are you so frightened?" It was Ruka, wearing a striped tee and denim pants, topped off with a pair of black DC skateboard shoes.
I just had to heave a sigh of relief it wasn't Mrs. Naomi or she would quickly notice that I was looking at some girl and spying on their conversation.
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I just looked away for a minute or so and they were gone. No brunette or star-tattoo guy. Great. Just great. And, Ruka's now suspicious and starts to doubt whether I'm hiding something from him. What are we, six-year-olds? Give me a break.
I was about to walk down the center staircase when something stopped me from doing so. It was like there's some force that held me back and led me down the staircase I took yesterday. Unlike before, there was no sound of the piano being played; however, there was the soft sound of crying.
As I heard this, it was like reflex action. I went down as flash as lightning could, only to see the brunette curled in a corner crying. Being not much of a comforter myself, I didn't know what to do. Heck. I didn't even know how to comfort my mother when my real grandmother died. How was I suppose to comfort a girl who's crying when I don't even know the reason why?
But, whatever she's crying for, it sure gave her deep pain. Don't ask me how I knew for I don't know that myself. I just had this gut feeling. You know 'intuition'?
I tried opening my mouth to ask why she's crying but nothing came out of it. It's like my voice was taken by Ursula and stored in a seashell just like Ariel's. Yes, I do watch that kind of Disney films. They're classic. Why shouldn't I?
Before I knew it, not only my voice was taken but my ability to move as well. I couldn't get near her even how much I wanted to. I could only reach into my pocket and take out my handkerchief. As I stare at it, an idea popped up. Just like in the dramas my sister and mother watched every evening, I built up my courage, took small steps then bigger ones until I was about six inches close to her. Even if I don't know if this will work, I reached out my handkerchief in front of her, hoping that she would take it.
When she didn't look up, I mustered up the nerve to clear my throat which worked like a charm. She looked up at me with those honey-cholocate colored eyes of hers. Her whole face drenched in tears. Then, she stared at the hanky I was offering.
"Take it. You look like a mess," I said, shocked by what came out of my mouth. Honestly, it sounded like I was insulting her.
To my surprise, she swiftly took it and wiped her face. She stood up, her face now emotionless. "I do not look like a mess, okay? Nor am I a toy you guys could play with! I am a human girl who journeys in this world like you do! Men like you are not worthy of any love from innocent girls! I wish your race would just die!" She screamed in one whole breath. After that, she stomped out of the building and into the daylight with my handkerchief still in her grip.
I was stunned. Never had I heard a girl shout at me saying that men should just die.
And, there I was... in love for the first time in my entire existence in this world.
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Now, I would say that love is the most wonderful thing in the world.
And it was taught to me by a girl named Mikan Sakura.
The Mikan Sakura who wanted all men dead.
The Mikan Sakura who was the first one to punch me on the cheek.
The Mikan Sakura who taught my sister how to really play the piano by heart.
The Mikan Sakura who's like a mother to my friends.
The Mikan Sakura who said yes to me.
The Mikan Sakura who I would share my life with.
This one-shot is dedicated to everyone out there - whether your believe in love or not.
If you do not, you'll find it sooner or later.
If you do, well cherish it.
I'll be updating two chapters of Deceiving Hearts next week.
School's been harsh ever since it started. :(
So forgive me, please?
1 AUGUST 2010
12:52 AM
(:nineprincess:)
