Look at Me
Every night I walk by your office door.
It's always open, just wide enough to catch a glimpse, a peek.
And every night I hate myself for looking through the crack.
I always see you under him, moaning, screaming desperately.
And I always bite my lip until the blood starts to flow.
You always told me that I had teeth like fangs.
You're always lying to me- "Go on, I've got more paperwork to do."
Yeah, right. All those late nights doing paperwork, my metal foot.
I've seen you.
You're doing some work all right. Just not paperwork.
But after watching for a moment, I'll always leave.
Closing the door silently,
And walking away
As your voice echoes in my head.
"Maes" you gasp, reverberating through the hallway of my mind.
Though, maybe it actually is resounding through the hallway.
Nevertheless, I always walk away
Telling myself
"Tomorrow I'll tell him. Tomorrow"
But that tomorrow never comes,
Because that image of you and him distorts my vision
And my heart hardens into something harder than my metal automail.
So I'll put on a laughing, joking mask
And pretend to pretend that I hate you,
You morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex,
Because this pseudo-hatred is the only way I'll get your attention,
However short it may be.
So, even for a little while,
Please turn your gaze away from him
And look at me.
"You morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex" episode 16