American McGee's Alice
Eyes go cold
with a dejected stare.
Pain turns numb,
for the heart can't bear
what tangled relations
lay yet to wait
for this young Alice
at Wonderland's gate.
"Alice, please. You must let go," cried Ms. Florence, her next door neighbor. She tried once again to tug the small, stuffed rabbit from Alice's iron-clasped grip, only to find once more that her efforts were futile. She watched as the young girl slowly lowered back into the cold snow, clutching her stuffed rabbit and crying incomprehensible words into its soft fur.
She had lost everything: her home, her possessions, and most of all, her family. And she blamed herself for all of it. If only she had been stronger and more alert. If she had woken up not but five minutes earlier, she could have saved her dear mother and father from their most unfortunate fate. They had been burned alive; she heard their last screams of agony as the fire engulfed their tortured bodies. The scene continued to replay in her head…
* * * * * * * * * *
Alice lay asleep, dreaming of her mind's own creation and escape. Since her first journey to Wonderland, she had never been able to leave all that it contained behind her. Instead, it became a home away from home for her. When times were slow and nothing was around worth doing, Alice would slip away to a window, look out and place herself back with one of her many friends. Tonight she was with the March Hare and dormouse at one of the Mad Hatter's most extravagant tea parties. "Wake up, Dormey. It's time for the tea party!" The March Hare shouted, giving his friend another poke to the head. The mouse woke up reluctantly, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Oh, oh, oh! I've got another one," cried the Mad Hatter as he stifled another laugh. "Why is a Raven like a writing desk?" It was one of the many jokes that Alice and her friends had heard before, so she was hardly surprised when the table broke out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter before the Mad Hatter was able to giggle out an answer. No one noticed that, during the fit, the March Hare unknowingly knocked over a small candle - until, of course, the entire left part of the table went up in flames and the soft laughter quickly rose into screams of terror. "You must save Alice!" The Mad Hatter cried, and on the border of dreams and reality, Alice heard a small voice shout, "Wake up, Alice! Wake up!" She awoke with a start to find herself back in her room; however, this time she was surrounded by thick layers of smoke and flames dancing within her room. Even with death inching ever so closely to the foot of her bed, Alice's thoughts were still with her mother and father. Immediately she pulled away the covers and ran through her bedroom door, unable to release her hold on her stuffed rabbit. As she got closer to her parent's bedroom, she could hear their struggles to open the door. "Mum? Dad?" Alice called. "Alice!" She heard her mother reply in horror. "Get out, Alice! Save yourself," but Alice could not leave them. Her hand sought out the doorknob, but as soon as she grasped it, she recoiled in pain. The fire had heated the metal doorknob to an unbelievable degree, but Alice refused to give up. Ignoring the painful throbbing in her hand, she grasped the doorknob again. Alice gave it a series of tugs but was still unable to open the door. "Get out of the house, Alice!" Her father begged. With tears stinging her eyes, Alice ran to the front of her house. She threw the front door open and flung herself into the snow. The sirens from nearby fire engines went unnoticed by Alice, who could only focus on the sound of her mother and father's nails clawing at the wood of their immobile bedroom door, shortly followed by their painful screams as they were torched alive in their once beautiful country home. She wasn't aware of how much time had gone by or what time it was to begin with. She simply lay in the freezing snow, clutching her stuffed rabbit, sobbing apologies to her dead parents. The Beginning Alice opened her eyes and immediately sensed that something was wrong. She was no longer lying on a cold bed of snow. She wasn't even in front of her house for that matter. Instead, Alice was met by complete darkness. She tried sitting up, but as she straightened her back, her head collided with what seemed to be a particularly low ceiling. How strange, Alice thought, while reaching her arms out in front of her in hope of finding a way out of the darkness. Her arms were quickly met by another solid surface that Alice assumed was a wall. Her fear escalated as she mentally calculated the amount of time she had until the oxygen would fully drain from the box. "Why, hello Alice." A voice spoke from somewhere within the box.. As Alice turned around, she realized she was being watched by a pair of bright, yellow eyes that were located no more than a foot away from her. Plagued by fear, Alice denied the voice an answer. "Oh, come now, Alice. Where did your manners go?" The voice teased, but Alice was in no mood for jokes. "Show yourself!" She demanded. "It is difficult to show oneself under such dark circumstances. How about moving our conversation elsewhere?" A small chest illuminated by a candlestick suddenly appeared on the floor. Alice timidly picked it up and shook it.. After declaring it safe, she opened the box and examined its contents, which were heart shaped pastries with the words "Try Me!" on each. She knew what she was suppose to do and gently placed one in her mouth and chewed.. Within seconds, she had shrunk down to the size of a tin can. The eyes continued to observe her as they walked past her and through a door Alice had been too large to notice. Her eyes, which were once cold and unemotional, became clouded with confusion, but she ignored the small thoughts of worry that were forming in the back of her mind and began walking towards the door. She was met with an immediate headache as her eyes adjusted to the strong amount of light. After a moment or two she was able to take in more details, noticing that the sun made hardly a difference at all in her surroundings, which had an ominous darkness about them. The trees bore no leaves and gave off an eerie scratching sound as they rubbed against the roof tops of nearby houses, which appeared as if they were abandoned. Beside the scratching noises, the only other noise audible was the crackling of the cobblestones beneath her feet. Alice observed that the cobblestone path traveled a good mile or so in front of her before breaking off into dozens of smaller paths. How peculiar, thought Alice aloud, they seem to lead nowhere at all. "But all paths," replied the forgotten voice, "lead somewhere as long as one walks far enough." Alice quickly turned around and gasped. Although the plump, pink fur had withered away to nothing but a layer of pale skin over bones, there was no denying that the creature in front of her was her old friend The Cheshire Cat.. Its grin was no different than the last time she had been in Wonderland, and its eyes still held the same mischievous gleam; however, the Cat's new appearance gave both a more threatening tone. "You've grown quite mangy, Cat." "And you've picked up a bit of an attitude," replied The Cheshire Cat coolly. "I've noticed," said Alice while taking another thoughtful look at her surroundings, "that Wonderland is no longer the same as it once was. How is one to find their way?" "And where can I find The White Rabbit?" "Come," said The Cat, walking away from her and down one of the cobblestone paths that lead into a nearby wood. "I shall show you." Just as Alice began inwardly complaining about all the walking they had been doing, The Cheshire Cat stopped and began observing something in the near distance. She stood beside him and followed his eyes, which were fixated on a small cottage. The picket fence outside the house was in pieces and only a few sections of it remained upright. The cottage, itself, was in no better condition. There were holes in its oddly shaped roof and the windows were shattered and useless. Why, no one could possibly live here, thought Alice, but once again, her thoughts proved wrong as The Cat continued to advance on the cottage. Her shock increased when she realized that the cottage belonged to The White Rabbit, who opened the front door and ushered them inside. Alice sat at the table, unable to move her eyes away from The White Rabbit. It was true that Wonderland had changed, but that fact alone did not stop the pain in her heart every time she saw her friends suffer because of it. Though the faint tick, tick from the pocket watch still remained the same, the owner looked remarkably different. The Rabbit, much like The Cheshire Cat, had become nothing more than skin over bones. His whiskers were crooked, and his eyes were wide and bloodshot. His once nervous fidget had turned into sudden convulsions, and he seemed to develop a nasty habit of scratching behind his right ear, which was now raw and coated in dry, crusty blood. "You must put an end to this, Alice." The Rabbit announced suddenly. "When your parents died in the fire, a part of you changed. You blamed yourself for their deaths, and the resulting guilt took hold of you." "People are not born dark, Alice." The Cheshire Cat remarked, joining the conversation at last. "That is something one learns through time and experience. Your parent's deaths taught you guilt, hate, and depression: all the things that came together, creating the darkness our world is now immersed in." "But how?" Alice asked apprehensively. "First, we must get to the Duchess," The Cat explained. "You should remember her from your last visit. She's quite the same and still gruesome to look at, though she has taken up a new habit of cannibalism." "And the others?" "No others," explained The Cat, "just The Queen of Hearts, and it is vital that we get to her, Alice. It's the only way Wonderland can be restored to it's former self." Alice sat with her eyes cast downwards, trying to digest the information. She looked up at her friends. The Cheshire Cat sat on her left side. He stared at her intensely and appeared as if he knew every thought that ran through her mind. Her eyes traveled to The White Rabbit, who sat across from her. His eyes were still wide, but not in fear. The emotion she saw within The Rabbit's eyes warmed her. It was hope. And with that, Alice stood from the table and replied, "Then let's not waste another moment." The Middle The Duchess' home appeared no different to Alice. It remained lavishly built with columns supporting a small terrace, which was decorated with beautiful patio furniture. The flowers that decorated the lawn outside her front door were wet with morning dew, and the pavement that met the front door was neatly swept. The only detail that kept the scene from an invitingly normal look was the rotting corpse of what was once a well-dressed frog. The upper body dangled from an open upstairs window, and bits of mangled flesh hung loosely where his lower half would have normally been. Alice gasped and took a step back. She knew that frog -- not personally, of course, but well enough to remember him if she had ever come across him dead, dismantled, and dangling from an open window. He had been a servant to The Duchess. He waited faithfully outside the door, awaiting any letters or invitations from the Queen, even if none were received for days. Alice wondered what he must have done to meet such a terrible fate, but her thoughts were shortened as The White Rabbit ushered her closer to the front door. Alice knocked twice and gave a small laugh. How silly, she found it, to be practicing manners by knocking on the door of a woman she would soon be murdering. She turned the doorknob carefully and pushed it forward. The inside of the house was filled with smoke, making it nearly impossible to see in front of them. They inched inside with their arms – or paws, for that matter – searching desperately for something to hold onto. They followed the path of the smoke all the way into the kitchen, which anyone would have assumed was abandoned if it weren't for the red, glowing light illuminating the edges of another door. The closer Alice got to the door, the warmer the air around her became. She stopped just outside the door, finding herself unable to continue any further. Images of the night her mother and father died began to flood her mind. Her breathing came in large gulps and the scene around her sank as she slowly kneeled down. She heard the worried voices of her friends but could not make out what they were saying. She thought of the scolding hot doorknob and how she had been too weak to save them. Not again, Alice thought. She would not let the same weakness that killed her parents be the reason her friends died as well. Ignoring her body's protests, Alice weakly lifted herself off of the floor. Without wasting another moment on past regrets and present worries, Alice took hold of the doorknob and yanked it forward. The rush of hot air stunned her only for a quick moment, before she continued her mission and descended the stairs. Their footsteps were made inaudible by a loud voice shouting "More pepper!" and the crying of a small infant. As she neared an opening, she stopped. Raising her hand, she prevented her friends from moving further and peered around the corner. Although the smoke was still thick, she was able to make out the appearance of the house's residents. One was in front of a large fireplace, adding pepper to a simmering pot, and the other, who was significantly larger than the first, was sitting on a chair, trying to get her distraught child to cease its wailing and calm down. Alice recognized her immediately as The Duchess. As Alice backed up to report to her friends, the floorboard beneath her left foot creaked. "Who's there?" The Duchess' loud, grating voice called out. Alice evaluated her options, wishing to remain silent in hope of being quickly forgotten, but instantly dismissed such foolishness. Their presence had been revealed, and there was no use in hiding from an inevitable event. She gave her friends a look that she tried to make confident and together they stepped into the open. The gleam of confusion in The Duchess' eyes was replaced by one of amusement. "I must say, dear girl, that I am surprised to find you here. It's been too long since our last meeting, wouldn't you say?" The Duchess asked, tilting her head to the side in false sincerity. Her eyes left Alice's to acknowledge her other company. "And look! You brought friends. Nice selection, Alice. Did you know that when prepared correctly, the flesh of a cat can taste very similar to that of a cow's? Amazing, I know," she continued, grabbing a bloody carving knife from a nearby table, "and much better tasting than frog legs." The predator began to stalk its prey. With every step The Duchess took towards her, Alice moved back. Her friends, however, moved closer to a prey of their own, waiting intently for the move that would symbolize their immediate action. "Come closer my little chick. Properly seasoned you'd make a handsome dish." "I'm not edible." Alice replied. "Not a full meal, certainly, but a light snack, I think." The Duchess crossed the room in quick strides, bringing the knife up behind her and down towards Alice, who had managed to catch The Duchess' meaty arm with both of her own. As they wrestled, The Cheshire Cat leapt towards the maid, clawing at her face and neck. The White Rabbit, anticipating the infant's fall, leapt onto the ground in time to catch it. The screaming from the maid was matched with a scream from the other side of the room. Although Alice had been able to disarm The Duchess, she received a large gash on her right palm. The Duchess kneeled over her in an attempt to regain control of the knife, but Alice moved her leg and kicked The Duchess with a force great enough to knock the wind out of her. Taking this as an opportunity to finish her off, Alice took the knife and plunged it deep into The Duchess' gut. The Duchess let out a low moan, looking down towards her blood-stained dress and then up at Alice in disbelief. A gurgling noise came from the back of her throat and a trickle of blood escaped down her chin. A moment later, the remaining strength left her, and she fell forward into a pool of her own blood. The Duchess was dead. Alice remained still, staring at the mess in front of her and waiting for her friends to finish off the maid, who now lacked all of the natural features a face would normally have. In time, their job had been finished. They extinguished the fire and left the baby in its crib, knowing that one of The Queen's officials would be by soon enough to check up on the latest reports from her sister. They left through the front entrance, closing the gate behind them. The Cheshire Cat and White Rabbit sensed that something was not right with Alice but said nothing, leaving Alice to fight the battle taking place within her alone and unaided. * * * * * * * * * * The journey to The Queen of Heart's castle was long and trying, but the length of travel gave Alice the time she needed to conquer her inner fears and doubts. By the second day, Alice had began talking again, and her company happily obliged her in conversation. In exchange for the agreement that no complaints would ever be heard, the group took a short break when it was ensured they were halfway through. With The Cheshire Cat sitting happily on a branch and The White Rabbit resting on the ground below him, Alice decided to explore her surroundings. She worked her way through entwining shrubs and overgrown tree roots into a small open field. The grass and the flowers that decorated the earth's floor had all withered away, and without the trees to block out the sun, light was able to shine down upon the scene, adding a bit of life to the dead that resided there. Alice could feel the dark threat of depression coming back to her as she thought of all the beauty in the world that had been destroyed or wasted – a thought that was immediately pushed aside as she began seeing small puffs of smoke rise up from a spot in the grass. She walked towards the area as her eyes darted back and forth in search of the source of the smoke. What she found shocked her. Atop one of the mushrooms sat another one of her old acquaintances: The Caterpillar. She crouched down into the grass to allow herself a better look at him. He was perhaps one of the only creatures of Wonderland who looked unaffected by its changes. As she lay down onto the ground, she noticed he was looking at her with the same astonishment. "Alice," said The Caterpillar, "You have returned." "I have, but I hardly know where I've returned to. I barely recognize this terrible place." "Having lost what you loved, you nearly wiped us out," The Caterpillar explained with a yawn. "You've just started to rebuild. Your task, however, and your pain are not over. Your mind is still fouled by self-deception. Even your fantasies have been fragmented into tortured versions of themselves as a result of it." "And what must I do to set things right?" Alice asked, her tone desperate. "The Duchess is dead," The Caterpillar stated with another yawn, "Now you must destroy The Queen of Hearts. Only then will Wonderland and your entire world become whole again. I must rest now. Grow up, Alice. Embrace the truth." And with that, The Caterpillar fell fast asleep. * * * * * * * * * * The castle became visible as they neared the end of the woods. Its medieval structure made it no more inviting than the dark ring of clouds encircling it from above. As she continued walking, Alice noticed the terrain turning into a giant chess board. The clouds above disappeared, and in their place was a black and white checkered sky. Gaining entrance to the castle was far easier than any of the three had expected, and remaining inside the castle appeared to be just as easy. Without guards there to stop them, they simply had to walk in and pray they were going the right way; however, in Wonderland, the right way was not always the best. As they turned a sharp corner with the assumption that it would lead them directly to the courtyard, they discovered two very important things. The first was that their assumption was correct, and the second was that they now knew the exact location of all the missing guards. The Queen had inducted the Black Chess Army into her service, giving each a particularly bad paint job in order for them to match her signature color. They stood in their ruled order with the pawns leading down the middle and bishops, knights and rooks a few spaces behind them. "What are they--" Alice began, but stopped as soon as she realized her question was about to be answered. Being dragged down the middle by two of the red rooks was The White Queen. She was a chess piece herself, so naturally she did not age or change with time. Her head was held high in the dignified manner that royalty implanted in her, and besides the slight wetness in her eyes, she seemed perfectly indifferent. A state which was made even more remarkable by the knowledge that she was being led to her death, for at the end of the long line of chess soldiers, Alice noticed, was the terrifying sight of a guillotine. The Queen was placed at the platform, standing in attention as a red bishop read the charges against her. When the bishop finished, the rooks took their positions at either side of her and forced her into a kneeling position. She lowered her head onto the chopping block and shut her eyes in submission. The blade rose. Higher, higher, and with one swift motion...checkmate. Alice looked away, blinking back tears. Death was becoming a common theme in her life, yet its commonness did not lessen the pain. "Alice, our time runs short. We must continue on," said The Cheshire Cat softly. Alice nodded her head, and the group continued their journey up a set of stairs in search for a new route that would lead them to The Queen of Heart's chamber. Their pace increased with the fear that the guards would soon return to their normal areas around the castle. The Queen of Hearts, however happy she may have been to finally have a rival queen beheaded, would only allow joyful celebrations in fleeting moderation. After reaching two dead ends and turning in numerous wrong directions, they found themselves at outside their desired destination: The Queen's chamber. "You will have to continue on without us, Alice," The White Rabbit stated nervously, scratching the crusty spot behind his ear. "Only you can save us." Alice glanced back at her friends and nodded. She had expected this. Her hand grasped the doorknob and she pushed it forward, entering the chamber. Empty, thought Alice as she walked further inside. Her surprise was met with an even more surprising discovery as she turned around to warn her friends. Staring back at her was The Queen of Hearts, but not like Alice had remembered. The Queen, herself, had been affected by Alice's changes, but not in a way that any of her friends had been. No. Staring back at her was a mirror image of the person she had come to hate and resent above all else: herself. "I must say, I expected your arrival for quite some time now, but your interference will not be tolerated. I rule Wonderland alone," The Queen, her double, boomed. "This realm is for grown-ups. Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, self pitying dreamers are not wanted here; they cannot survive here. You fear the truth and live in shadows. Your pathetic attempts to regain your sanity have failed. Retreat to the safety of your self-delusions, or risk inevitable annihilation. You see, Alice, if you destroy me, you destroy yourself. Leave now and some hollow part of you may survive. Stay and you will lose yourself forever." "I'm not frightened of you." Alice replied coolly. "Then you have made your choice. Off with your head." The door opened with a gust of cold wind, and six members of the Red Chess Army stormed in. Alice's eyes widened as they surrounded her, swords drawn. "Please," Alice said. "It doesn't have to be this way!" As soon as the words left her lips, an idea came to her. "Kill her!" Alice screamed at The Queen, who stood in shock. "What?" She demanded in outrage. "Kill her. I'm the Queen!" The six soldiers looked at one another, dumbfounded. How could they tell who was who? They were both the same.. Alice steeled herself, and drew on all the majestic qualities she could find. She thought of her parents, and her old life. "Kill this girl," she growled. "Or I shall do it myself. And then, each one of you will pay the price for you hesitance." The Red Chessman needed no further encouragement. One slowly moved forward, sword at the ready. "No. NO!" The Queen yelled, covering her head with her arms in a feeble attempt to save herself. But it was too late. The sword came down, the metal ringing with the sounds of law and authority. Alice felt weak as she watched the head roll past her. Suddenly, everything went black... The End All was well in Wonderland. The Queen of Hearts was dead, and The Caterpillar's words proved true. Everything was set right again. The light above the land was restored, though it continued to share each day with darkness. Flowers had become alive again, flourishing all across the land and reminding the inhabitants of the triumph they shared through tale and song. The castle in which The Queen once thrived was destroyed by the White Chess Army, who were forced to give up their lifelong game of chess now that they lacked their queen. Those who had been enslaved or held prisoner by The Queen of Hearts had their freedom restored, including The Mad Hatter, who had spent a majority of two years in a dungeon for singing a ridiculous song about un-birthdays. He was accompanied by the Dormouse, who was charged with falling asleep while The Queen was talking, and The March Hare, who was deemed an accomplice. Those who helped Alice, mainly being The Cheshire Cat and The White Rabbit, continued on with their lives as they had normally done. In time, The Cat had regained his plump figure, which suited his usual grin significantly better, and The White Rabbit had returned to his home, content with the fact that he would never have to worry about being late again. * * * * * * * * * * Alice packed her books safely inside her small suitcase and called Dina. The cat leaped onto the bed at the sound of Alice's voice and allowed herself to be guided into a carrier. Turning around slowly, Alice took in every detail of the room that had been her home for the past few months. It was small, yes, but not far off from what you would expect from a place such as this. She took hold of her suitcase in one hand and Dina's carrier in another, walking out of her room and into the connecting hallway. She said goodbye to the nurses who had cared for her during her stay and shook hands with the doctor that had signed the papers for her immediate release. As she neared the entrance door, she took a long, deep breath. With a smile on her face, Alice left Rutledge Asylum and the horrors of her past forever.
"As knowing where one is going is preferable to being lost, ask. The White Rabbit knows a thing or two, and I, myself, do not need a weathervane to tell which way the wind blows."
Alice followed shortly behind her friend, who never once tried to resume conversation with her. As they walked deeper and deeper into the woods, Alice began noticing small dwarf-like creatures appearing from various directions. They each pushed their own wheelbarrow, which was filled with something that resembled black sand. Their clothes were tattered, and their faces clearly showed the lack of sleep and abuse they endured from day to day. They looked so miserable, in fact, that Alice could not help herself towards feeling obligated to help the poor things, but as she began approaching one of the creatures, The Cheshire Cat jumped in front of her and released a terrifying hiss that wiped the idea completely from her mind. And with that, they resumed walking.
The walk back to her friends was spent in deep contemplation. She had known what her purpose was in the beginning of their dangerous adventure, but only now was the idea of failure dawning on her. She could defeat The Queen, that was true, for The Queen of Hearts was not immortal; however, neither was Alice, which made her accessible to the same fate.