She was wearing fairy wings the first time he saw her. Gauzy green fairy wings, and a brown and green minidress, fashioned to look like something from the Renaissance. Also, there was a wreath of green leaves and red mini roses in her hair, and she carried, of all things, a green plastic wand, capped with a sparkly green felt star on the top. Tiny ribbons sprouted from the wand, and when she waved it around, it gave off the illusion of a spell being cast.
She looked ridiculous.
She looked beautiful.
"What are you doing?" his words snapped her out of whatever reverie she had been in. He was trying to give off the illusion of someone who had just showed up, rather than someone who had been watching her.
She'd been spinning around, twigs from the nearby trees catching in her hair. She waved the wand around her as she spun. His voice was so startling that she jumped, her wreath going crooked.
"Um, walking around?" she looked chagrined, as though he'd just scolded her for something horrible.
"Okay, walking around is good," he said slowly, as though speaking to a small child. "But… how come you're wearing wings?"
"I'm a fairy?"
"A fairy,"
"A magic fairy princess?" she looked sheepish. He sighed and gave her an indulgent looking smile.
"What are you doing in my thicket of solitude?" he gestured around with an open arm. A smile broke into her face.
"I beg your pardon." She grinned. "I didn't know this place belonged to you. Then again," she looked him up and down.
"You're not wearing your underwear outside your pants."
"That's not to say that I haven't before." He mumbled. God, sometimes he missed the days of Jackass.
"Seriously though," she dropped her joking manner. "I didn't know this belonged to you. I was in my yard and I started wandering. I guess I lost track of where I was going."
"Are you lost, little girl?" he growled mockingly. She laughed then.
"Maybe a little bit."
"Bam," he stuck out his hand. "Bam Margera,"
"Lenny Dawson," she reached to accept and blushed a little bit when she realized she was carrying her wand in that hand. Embarrassed, she switched hands and shook his.
"Lenny?" Bam repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"Bam?" she lifted her nose a little bit in challenge. Bam began a mental count. He got to three until the familiar light reached her eyes.
"Oh. That Bam," Lenny said solemnly.
"Yeah, THAT Bam." He chuckled dryly. "How many do you know?" She shrugged.
"I'm sorry I stumbled onto your property," she was attempting to be dignified. As dignified as someone wearing a Halloween costume could be, anyway.
"I didn't know you lived around here."
"How could you not know?" it hit him as soon as it left his mouth just how arrogant that sounded. Lenny pursed her lips.
"The realtor didn't say anyone famous lived around here." She said 'famous' as though it tasted bad in her mouth.
"I didn't ask."
"Right," nervously, Bam reached into his pocket and jingled his keys. "Do you uh, want a ride home?"
"I hardly think I need it…" Bam looked down and noticed her feet were bare. "I made my way out here. I can make my way back, I think."
"I wouldn't be so sure," he muttered. "It's going to be dark soon, and if you don't know where you're going everything starts to look the same. There aren't any clearly marked paths out here or anything."
"Weeeell," she was wavering. "I guess I could always just walk the road back, couldn't I?"
"In that?" he pointed to her outfit. She blushed again, and Bam decided that he liked the look on her.
"I don't want to put you out," Lenny finally mumbled.
"Not really a trouble. I wanted to go to town anyway." He fibbed. Maybe he'd surprise April and Phil, bring home a pizza or something like that. Sounded like a good idea to him.
"All right," she relented. They walked in an awkward silence up through the rest of the woods to the Castle.
"Oooh," she breathed when she saw it. Bam smiled.
"I'm sorry; I thought you'd seen the show."
"I have, I have," she assured him, looking dreamy. "It's just… It's one thing to think of someone living in a castle on TV. It's entirely another to see them doing it." Bam smiled again.
"Is it fun?"
"I guess," he shrugged now. "The novelty wears off after awhile and then it's just home."
"How disappointing."
"Do you think?" he reached into his pocket again, seeing he had the keys to the Hummer today.
"Wanna wait right here for me? I'll bring the car around." She nodded, standing in his driveway, looking behind her at the Castle.
Bam wasn't lying when he said it would be dark soon. The sun set fast in the autumn. It was already getting dark by the time he'd walked to the garage and pulled the car around.
"Hop in. Or maybe you should fly." He joked. She sneered and then looked at the vehicle.
"'Kay," there was a moments pause. "I guess I'll just flap real hard and maybe I really can fly in."
"Shit," Bam swore under his breath. "Sorry, I don't really have that problem myself."
She was very short, just a little over five feet tall. The car seemed huge for her. She put her wand on the seat and gripped the door, trying to pull herself in. Bam was treated to a view of her panties beneath the dress. He grabbed her other hand and pulled her in.
"Thank you," again, it was silly to try and seem dignified. The seat was awkward
with her wings.
He noticed before he was even out of the driveway that she was shivering. Of course, in that thin dress and no shoes. He found himself wanting to ask her where her coat was, why she hadn't wore stockings at least.
Shut it, Margera. Ape must be wearing off on you more than you think. Wordlessly, he switched on the heater.
The shivering stopped within a minute. She gave quiet directions to her house. When they were at a stop sign, he couldn't stand it anymore. Bam reached over and straightened the wreath on her head.
"Oh!" she jumped a little, surprised by his touch. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." She had short, messy black hair. He could tell it wasn't from a bottle, it was all natural. Her eyebrows were black, and she had long black eyelashes that made her look innocent.
Her eyes were stormy gray, and her skin was white. He wondered if she ever went out into the sun.
What I really want to know is if the carpets match the drapes, he thought, again having to give himself a mental slap for that one. God, she looked so young. And, really, walking around in a costume? She couldn't be THAT old. Fourteen, tops.
"How old are you?" it jumped out before he could stop him. She turned, looked at him warily.
"Old enough to know better than to answer that question. But, seeing as you're giving me a ride, and it's dangerous enough to ride with strangers, I'll tell you so you don't pull an ax out of the back and chop me up." He wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh at that one.
"Nineteen,"
"Nineteen?"
"Mmm," she looked uncomfortable again. Probably more for the fact that he'd caught her doing something as childish as dress up than for the wings digging into her back. Then again, she ought to know that he really wasn't one to judge. After all, what were Jackass and Viva La Bam other than one big high school joke?
"You don't--,"
"I know," she cut him off. He couldn't blame her. He imagined that she heard it quite a bit. She continued looking out the window.
"The leaves are so pretty out here,"
"Yeah," he agreed, flicking on his turn signal. "I like it." They were red and yellow, brown at their curling edges.
"So, can I ask why you were playing dress up?"
"You can. I don't think I'll answer, but, you can ask." She blinked her eyes at him, playing up the innocent act. He gave her a dirty look.
"You know I heard there's a serial killer running around. Preys on magic fairy princesses."
"Oh, don't be ridiculous." She rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows fairies could hide
themselves if they wanted to. It wouldn't really be an issue." Okay, not really what he expected. He could go with it, though.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that. What would happen if he could magically see wherever they were hiding?"
"Now that's just over board," Lenny pointed at a long winding paved driveway. Bam could see the tall house at the end.
"Thank you," she said shyly when he pulled in front of the house. Bam nodded as she slid out of the car and ran up to the front door.