WARNING, it's an f/f thing. R&R!! It's my first f/f fic, so be nice please!
Everlasting Love
Does he know?
That is the question that hunts me everyday every hour every minute every second of my life, and I couldn't take it anymore.
Does he know? Does he know? What will he do if he finds out?
He always gives me those looks that I return with a smile but couldn't interpret. He always gives me those looks and I fight to understand them but it was impossible, I can't even see his eyes behind the dark red glasses. 'Jean, do you love me?' he asked me once and I had to lie to him.
Does he know? God, does he know?
He likes to hold me closer now, likes to say that he loves me, and I just smiled back, I don't really know how to answer him, how to tell him, but first, I need to know…
Does he know?
Does he know that when he's out of town I'm with someone else? In the arms of the person I really love? Making love and crying out and loving and caring someone else.
Does he know? God, I need to know, does Scott know?
Does he know that I don't love him anymore? That I love someone else? He'll probably kill me when he finds out… I'm so scared and you hold me, kiss me and make me forget about everything, but in the morning, when he comes back, when I go back to his side, I once again feel hunted…
Does he know?
Does he know that when he's not around I'm with someone else? Making up and making love. I love him, yes, but not like he loves me. I could never love him like he loves me, no… I love someone else, and he could never love me like she does, Scott could never love me like Emma does. But…
Does he know? I need to know… Does he know about us?
He could never hold me like she does; he could never kiss me like she does, he could never touch me like she does… That's all I can think about…
Does he know? Dam it, does Scott know?
I'm wearing a tank top and tight jeans, sandals and my red hair is loose and her hands roam gently, her fingers on my lips as gentle as the wind as we stand against the door of her room, locked and it's noon and Scott's not home, and as I look into her icy blue eyes, drowning in them, in their beauty, in her beauty, I'm still thinking.
Does he know?
She likes to tease, she always does. She licks my parted lips but doesn't kiss me, she brushes her fingertips against my jaw but doesn't touch me, she stands a heartbeat away from me but doesn't press against me, she tickles the sensitive skin on my bare shoulder but doesn't bury her nails there, like I like her to, and as I pant with maddening anticipation, I can't help but think how Scott could never make me feel like that, and I wonder
Does he know? Will he ever find out? Should I tell him?
But when I moan and her lips crash over mine, all thoughts of Scott and everything else streams away and the world narrows down to me and her, her soft lips and her talented hands… I don't even register when she moved me over to the bed and climbed on top of me because next she is ripping off my tank top and her lips brake away from mine as she moans loudly when I trust my thigh between hers.
It's always like this, maddening and slow but fast, crazy, forbidden passion as I go on kissing her, biting and sucking her tongue and lips.
She rides my thigh for a few seconds before moving down, kissing my smooth stomach and then taking my bra off gently. She seats up straight on top of me and I watch with dilated eyes as she takes off her bra. God forgive me for I have sinned, I know this is wrong for so many reasons but I just can't stop myself, she is the most beautiful being in this world… If this is anyone's fault it is yours for creating her.
And this went on for years, it went on until the day a died, sacrificing myself for you and the team, saying that I loved you before letting the heavy waves of water crash over me and the last thing I remember is your agonizing scream in my head…
I never told Scott or anyone about what I had with Jean, I didn't tell a soul and mourned in my own personal hell, remembering, because all there was left were memories, memories of the only woman I ever truly loved, the only woman who accepted me and respected me and loved me back… Memories of the red head that turned my world around from the second we locked eyes, icy blue with jade green, no surrender no retreat.
I remembered how Jean liked to play with my hair, kissing my temples and whispering sweet words into my ear after we made love, and I just liked to hold her close and stroke the small of her back in circles, close my eyes and listen to her words. I loved her so much… No, I still love her, and I'll always love her like this.
I knew our union was a sin, but I will never forgive God for taking her away from me like this… Never.
A year of sorrow had passed and all I see is bright red and yellow fire in front of me and around me as the Phoenix raised, her thoughts in my head as I stare at her glory and power with dreamy eyes.
It's a snowy day, and as she calls her power back to her body, I realize it is Jean in control, a bit of fire still surrounding her as I can't bring myself to walk closer to her, I can only stare at her. She makes the fire around her brighter and rises a bit higher into the sky, and she tells me to come closer.
I move closer and when I'm only a few steps away from her I fall on my knees, look up at her and close my eyes, raising my hands to her in the air as if praising her like a Goddess. "Jean." I whisper and she smiles, looking down at me.
"Give me your heart." She says and I smile, standing up and looking into her green eyes as she looked down into my blue ones. Her hair flowed like fire, her eyes flashing with red power and her feet suspended, light between her feet and the ground.
"You already have it." I say back.
"You could say that." She says and flashes me a sexy grin. "I want you by my side."
"Then take me." I challenge, and as she moves back to the ground, I walk closer to her and the fire around her increases, blinding me for a second and I see the Phoenix figure around her body, as powerful as my love for her and even if I hesitate, I touch her, not feeling her fire burn me but overtake me, mingling with me and I feel an incredible surge of power inside of me as my eyes glow with fire and she pulls me close, surrounding us both in her fire as we kiss, power running trough my veins rapidly and we make love inside that haven of red power.
Her scream of release is a sound I missed and as we lay on the snow, our bodies surrounded by a pure fire of love and we never let go of each other, I became Phoenix's ally, friend, lover and confidant, everywhere with her, in the same fire, same passion and dying and rising together in the everlasting life of the Phoenix.
So what did you think? I was inspired by this video I saw in YouTube and I just had to write this. Please review!!