Some odd lines from Deep Wizardry started me thinking. This then pounced and wouldn't go away. Oneshot.
"You young and never loving, I old and never loved"
"I'm sorry!" "This once, I think, so am I."
"But will must spread to the body from the mind. And after all the years I've lived in it, this body is too strong..."
So. Here I am. The one place I never thought existed. I denied its existence because I was denied a place here, I know that now. But why am I here? I died a wizard, I know that. But somehow, I don't think that's enough. The wizards never said that they all did end up here, only that they could. I sacrificed myself for her. But also to save all that life, in the ocean and in the High and Dry. But that was for her too, in a way. What do sharks care for land-dwellers?. But sacrifice is pretty commonplace, really. Else how could we have lived so long? And, in a way, I wanted to die. What's loved, lives. No. She is young and never loving, and I? I am old, and never loved.
Strange creatures, humans. In our ocean time-scales, she is more than adult, yet she's barely adolescent in her own. And yet she pitied me. Not the kind of sickly pity that makes my blood boil, but true, kind, gentle pity. Like she understood. One who was old, and never loved. What's loved, lives. Cold comfort. For a cold heart? Perhaps. And yet, I do not think that I am so very cold, now. And perhaps the light needs the darkness, to be seen for what it is. Not that she will ever know that. That One hates her with a passion, and I doubt that she's long for that world. So she will remain, young and never loving. But it is possible that I deny her heart simply because I am denied a place in it? It was not for nothing that my name had teeth in it. And yet...She denied them. Called me "Ed", denied my inherent...Brutality? Evil? Teeth. I wish I could help. And she was not distressed. Only sad. For me. More cold comfort. Still... that price is too high for me to pay, even once. I swim alone. But she swam with me. Only briefly, and she only touched me once, really. Too high for me to pay.
Yet, I do not think I made such a bad Silent Lord. I moved beyond the futile role of the Mastershark, gateway, ender of distress, to something so much greater. Helping to end the cause of distress, and becoming the more myself for it. I think I know, now, how the Song of the Twelve should end, finally. When the Silent Lord dives into the coral, or rocks, or car, or glass, the Mastershark rejects the Sacrifice. Chooses Life, that all the Sea might live; rejecting for himself and for all people the tainted Gift of that One.
I had a funny dream last night. I was in Timeheart, and I could see Ed, but he couldn't see me. He said that in the final Song of the Twelve, the Mastershark would reject the sacrifice, and with it that One's gift. He also said something funny. He said "No distress, Sprat. What's loved, lives." And he said it... kindly. Tenderly. In that beautiful song that was his, at the end. I don't think he was talking about Timeheart. Not really.
"You young and never loving, I old and never loved."
"This once, I think, so am I."
"What's loved, lives."
A/N: Yes, I know "What's loved, lives" is a quote from SYWTBAW not DW, but it fits here. I don't honestly think Nita and Ed would have worked out, but I still think he loved her. Reviews dearly appreciated