Hi! Well first, this sucks. I worked really hard on it but it pretty much sucks. So, I'm sorry. This is an AU songfic, based on the song "Seven Days" by Kenny Chesney. It is a G O R G E O U S song. Go listen to it. Also, with the lyrics, I kind of skip around but you get the point. Wow. I surprised myself. I like almost all of the songs on Kenny Chesney's new album, Hemingway's Whiskey. This is what I get for living in Oklahoma and having a freakin' cowgirl for a best friend and just generally being a hick. Don't judge me. Anywho, this fic. Adam and Sauli meet on an island, where they are only staying for a week. The song that Adam sings Sauli at the end is called Absolute Beginners, by David Bowie. I was trying to think of a song for him to sing, and I thought of this one, and it fits really perfectly, I think. So go read it, and review because you're awesome and I love you.
Seven Days
…
Every once in a while, that week will cross my mind. I will just be sitting around, and suddenly, I will remember the events of that week, I will remember how I felt, and I will remember Sauli. But, it's not like I could ever forget.
…
Adam liked going on vacation by himself. He never-not-once saw it as lonely, he saw it as an escape and a chance to meet someone new. He liked alone time, and he needed it. But usually when he went on vacation, he'd meet a few guys, maybe take one or two of them back to his hotel room, but that's as far as it went, and that was okay with him. He was fine with casual hookups most of the time. Sure, he would have liked to have found someone special and fallen in love, but who went to a beach with that in mind? Evidently, none of the guys Adam hooked up with.
…
For whatever reason, Adam was traveling to a small island that wasn't particularly fancy or anything. It was ten times more rugged than he usually liked, but it definitely appealed to him, for some reason. It was a place for more outdoorsy people, people who liked hiking and nature. Adam wasn't exactly one of those people, but he was looking forward to it nonetheless.
He flew on a plane almost all the way there, then boarded a small boat that took him to the island with seven other people. It was cloudy and raining and getting dark but he stayed on deck anyway, while everyone else huddled in the warm, leaky cabin. He didn't know why. His clothes were soaked, his hair was soaked, yet he was smiling. The rain felt nice; it was warm. He had a good feeling about this trip. About his life.
As the boat neared the island, Adam spotted a lighthouse perched on the edge of the cliff. Its lights washed over the boat, then passed on, then went back over the boat again. Adam was fascinated by the rhythmic, sure motion of it, and he couldn't take his eyes away. Soon, the boat pulled up to the dock, and the rest of the passengers came out of the cabin, laughing as if they'd known each other for years and all considerably less wet than Adam. Oh well. He took his luggage and got on the bus that was taking everyone to their hotels. He could still see the lights from the lighthouse through his window.
By the time he got to the hotel lobby and checked in, he had dried off quite a bit, and it was almost ten PM. He headed up to his room and dropped his bags at the foot of the king-sized bed. The room looked nice, he decided, in his walk from the bed all the way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower.
Once Adam got out of the shower, he didn't really feel like getting dressed but he really wanted to check out the view from his fourth-floor balcony. So he tied his robe loosely over his naked body and stepped outside. It was misty, but it wasn't pouring like it had been before, and the balcony above his provided shelter from this. He looked around, but didn't see anybody; the lights from the lighthouse were the only thing he could see. Adam smiled then, and pulled his robe off and tossed it back in the room. Being completely naked in public was liberating, and one more thing he could cross off his bucket list. Not that he had a bucket list, but something so scandalous as standing outside naked would have definitely been on it if he'd actually had one. Besides, the mist felt quite nice on all of his body.
…
The next morning, the radio next to Adam's bed went off at 7:00 AM, just as he'd set it to. He always liked waking up early when he was on vacation. Maybe to get a head start on everything. He climbed out of bed and looked out the window, hoping for bright sunshine. What greeted him instead was a gray sky and rain. Pouring rain. He sighed. Instead of getting upset about it, though, Adam decided to just continue with his plans. He'd hoped to go to breakfast at one of the cafes, and then go down to the rocky beach below the cliff where the lighthouse sat. Well, it wasn't thundering or lightning, so he figured it'd still be okay.
Adam got dressed in swim trunks, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, then ran through the rain to the little coffee shop next door to his hotel. Luckily, he didn't get too wet, but when he went inside, all of the tables were full.
"Fuck," he muttered to himself. He was hungry. All of a sudden, a small blonde man stood up from his table and tapped on Adam's shoulder. Adam turned around to look at him, and was immediately taken by his beauty.
"Do you need a place to sit?" The blonde asked. He had some kind of accent. It was very strong, and it sounded European to Adam.
Adam grinned. "You sure?"
"Do I sound unsure," the man asked playfully.
Adam followed him to his table and sat down in the empty chair. "Thank you," he said gratefully.
"You are welcome," the man replied, smiling. "My name is Sauli."
"I'm Adam," Adam told him. "It's nice too meet you."
"It is nice to meet you too, Adam," Sauli said, grinning. Adam liked the way his name sounded in Sauli's voice.
"You have a gorgeous smile," Adam admitted.
Sauli giggled a little bit and blushed. "Thank you. You have beautiful eyes."
A waitress stopped at their table then, interrupting, and took their orders. They barely had time to get into another conversation before the waitress arrived with their plates of food and cups of coffee.
"That was fast," Adam said, like an idiot, stating the obvious. Sauli nodded in agreement and smiled again.
Adam sure liked that smile.
They talked while they ate, mostly about their plans.
"I still think I'm going to go to the beach later," Adam said, "even though it's raining."
"Really? Me too!" Sauli exclaimed. "Which one?"
"The rocky one, under the cliff where the lighthouse is," Adam answered. He had seen pictures of it on the Internet when he'd booked the trip.
"That's the one I'm going to!" Sauli seemed excited. "Are you here alone? I mean, on the island?"
"Yeah," Adam confessed. "Are you?"
"I am. I got here yesterday morning, and it's been kind of lonely. But now, at least, I know someone here."
"So that was why you invited me to come sit with you!" Adam said.
"That, and you were the first good-looking person I've seen come through those doors," Sauli confessed.
Adam looked around. "There are plenty of pretty girls in here."
"I meant good-looking man. I'm, um…I am gay." Sauli sounded a little uncomfortable, like he wasn't sure how Adam would react.
"Good thing, too," Adam replied unabashedly.
"Why is that?"
"So am I."
…
A Saturday downpour carved out rivers in the sandShe said it was her first time to see the seaHelping her climb across those jetty rocksWas the first time I touched her hand
Adam didn't go down to the beach until later, and for a long time, he was the only one there. It was raining, but it was warm, and as Adam climbed over the rocks he found himself hoping that he hadn't missed Sauli. But soon, though, Sauli appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, startling Adam.
"I'm sorry," Sauli said quickly. "Have you been here long?"
He looked genuinely sorry, Adam saw. "No," he lied. "I just got here."
"Oh, good," Sauli said, relieved. He looked out at the stormy ocean, studying the whitecaps, his blue eyes gleaming. "I've never really seen the ocean," he confessed. "I mean, other than from an airplane."
"Really?" Adam asked. "Did you get to the island on a boat?"
"Oh, yeah. But I had a migraine so I pretty much just went down into the cabin the second I got on. Then I got seasick. I do not remember much about the ocean from that trip." He scowled, and Adam had to smile because he looked so cute.
"I'm sorry that you were sick," Adam told him sincerely, to which Sauli just replied with a wave of his hand, as if he were over it already, no big deal.
Sauli began climbing over the rocks to get to the one Adam was on, but they were slippery from the rain and the ocean water, and he almost fell a few times. Almost without thinking, Adam stood up and took Sauli's hand, helping him climb over. It actually felt like electricity was racing through his arm, his whole body, as their palms touched and fingers intertwined. It was so intense that he jerked his head up and met Sauli's eyes. From the way they were shining, Adam wondered if he could feel it too.
Once Sauli was up on the rock, they both sat down and dangled their legs, and every so often, a wave would splash up high enough to tickle their feet.
"I love the rain. It makes everything seem blurry, not as clear. Maybe even chaotic. Sometimes, if you are driving in the rain, you cannot see what is ahead. It has got an element of surprise," Sauli mused quietly, almost to himself.
"I know what you mean," Adam said. "It's like, anything can happen, but you wouldn't see it coming." It seemed as though Sauli had forgotten Adam was there, because his response startled him a little.
Sauli smiled. "I like surprises."
The rain and the way that felt didn't let up all week
…
The next day, Adam and Sauli met for breakfast, and even sat at the same table they'd been at yesterday. They didn't talk much, mostly just sipped their coffee and ate, but it was a comfortable silence. Adam didn't know there could be such a thing with someone you'd just met, yet here they were, not saying a word, and it wasn't awkward in the least. For that, he was happy.
Adam kept glancing across the table at Sauli's face. He could not keep his eyes away. Sauli caught him, finally. "I see you looking at me," he remarked coyly, a smile tugging at the corners of his crooked lips.
A pink blush painted Adam's cheeks and he ducked his head bashfully. "Yeah," he said, shyly.
Well, that was new. Adam generally wasn't shy at all. He was usually really confident, sometimes even cocky, almost always sure of himself.
Shy?
He directed his gaze out the window, where the rain was falling steadily.
"I have accepted the fact that I will never be dry now," Sauli said, grinning.
"I thought you liked the rain."
"I do, but it is tiring after a while. It was raining at home when I left, and it is raining here."
"Where are you from?" Adam took this as an opportunity to get the answer to the question that had been puzzling him since they'd met.
"Finland," Sauli replied.
Adam smiled.
"What?"
"I knew you had a European accent!"
Sauli laughed. "That I do. Ask me sometime, and I will speak to you in Finnish."
"Will you now?" Adam looked at him hopefully.
Shaking his head, Sauli said, "Not yet."
"You will someday, won't you?"
"I will."
…
On Monday, Adam didn't see Sauli, which was a shame, because he couldn't stop thinking of him. He went on a hike on one of the marked beginners' trails, supposedly the most beautiful one. He barely noticed, though, because a whole different kind of beauty was the only thing on his mind.
Sauli.
He was gorgeous. He was the most gorgeous person Adam had ever seen. But as Adam was getting to know him, he was realizing that Sauli had a more beautiful personality than anyone Adam had ever known. He was smart, he was caring, he was funny, he was himself…He seemed like everything that Adam could have ever wanted.
But when Adam thought that, he simply laughed. He'd known the man since Saturday! That was hardly enough time to feel this deeply for someone. It wasn't love, it was purely lust.
He remembered reading Romeo and Juliet in high school. What was that line about young men loving with their eyes and not their hearts? Adam didn't want that. He didn't want to love with his eyes. That's what lust was, purely physical attraction. Love was deeper than that.
But…when Adam thought about the way he'd felt, just touching Sauli's hand - he'd never experienced that feeling before. Not with a single one of the men he'd lusted after, fucked, or even thought he'd loved. Maybe he'd had it backwards the whole time. Maybe, what he'd thought was love - maybe that was really lust.
Maybe Sauli was love.
…
On Tuesday morning, it was still raining. And Sauli just happened to be at the café when Adam went for breakfast.
"I was hoping that you would come this morning," Sauli said softly.
"I am glad that I did," Adam replied, just as softly.
"I, um, I missed you yesterday," Sauli said cautiously.
Adam had no problem admitting that he'd missed Sauli too.
"I have a question," the blonde said later, after they were done eating.
"Yeah?"
"Do you…Would you like to do something with me tonight?"
"Like what?"
"Maybe walk down the pier? Or something. Whatever you want to do. If you want to."
"Of course I want to! The pier sounds wonderful. Since it's still raining, I doubt there will be many people there," Adam said, smiling. "What time?"
"Around eight?" Sauli suggested.
"Around eight," Adam confirmed.
"So, it is a date, then?" There was obvious hopefulness in the Finn's voice.
"It's a date!" Adam seriously felt like jumping up and down. He had a date. With Sauli! He hadn't felt this excited over a date in years. Sauli liked him! He liked him! Adam was absolutely giddy. And when he went back to his hotel, not long after, it would be a lie to say that he didn't lie on the bed and kick his feet and squeal like a fourteen year old getting asked out for the first time.
…
Time was like the tide, it came and wentThat old pier ran clear out into the mistMy mind plays back that Tuesday night
Again and again, and again
I taste that saltwater taffy on her lips
Adam didn't worry much about what he wore or looked like, because it was still fucking raining and it wouldn't matter anyway. He did his hair nonetheless, though, even though it would be ruined the second he stepped outside, but oh well.
At five to eight, someone knocked on Adam's hotel door. Looking through the peephole, Adam grinned. It was Sauli.
Adam opened the door, invited him in. Sauli sheepishly handed Adam a dripping wet bouquet.
"Aw, Sauli, how sweet! You brought me wet flowers!"
Sauli snorted, then covered his mouth and laughed with Adam.
"Sorry!" he exclaimed. "I thought if I ran…I'm so sorry!"
Adam smiled to show him that it was no big deal. "I love them," he assured Sauli. "Really. That was so sweet. Thank you." Adam really was touched. No one had ever brought him flowers.
"Well, you are welcome. Should we get going? I am already soaked."
"I think we should. Still no thunder or lightning?"
"No," Sauli replied, while shaking his head. "It is strange, all this rain and no storms."
"I agree," Adam said, "but I like it."
…
There was almost no one at the pier, and very few people out at all. On the way though, Adam stopped in front of one of the small shops that lines the sidewalk. "Can we stop in here for a second?"
"Sure," Sauli said, looking a little puzzled, and followed him inside.
"Do you like saltwater taffy?" Adam asked. He was going to buy something for Sauli, of course. He felt horrible that he hadn't already gotten anything for him.
"Yes, but Adam, do not get anything for me. I do not need anything."
"I want to," Adam insisted. "What flavor do you like?"
Sauli relented and told Adam which kinds he liked, and the clerk, a bored-looking teenage girl, bagged them up for him, Adam paid her, and they left.
While still standing under the shop's awning, Adam presented Sauli with the bag of taffy. "I know, I know, it doesn't have quite the same affect as wet flowers, but, here you go," he said with a mischievous grin.
"Thank you, Adam," Sauli said, immediately popping one of the candies in his mouth, and offering the bag to Adam, who shook his head.
"I don't really like taffy. I mean, I like the taste, but something about the texture…I don't know, I'm picky. I'm glad you like it, though."
"Adam! You should've gotten something we could both have!"
"I'm perfectly happy with my wet flowers," Adam said, a smile in his voice.
Sauli laughed so hard he almost choked. "Want to know a secret?"
"Sure."
"Saltwater taffy is my favorite candy. I am not kidding."
"Is it, really?"
"Yes! This is the best I have ever had, though," Sauli said, eyes wide. He ate another piece and closed the wax paper bag, slipping it into his pocket. "I hope they don't get wet."
Adam smiled, glad he'd done something right. They began to walk again, in the direction of the old pier, falling into another comfortable silence. Sauli led the way, all the way out to the end, in the mist. It had gotten cooler, but it wasn't cold at all. The two men stood, just a ways apart, looking out at the ocean.
"It's beautiful," Sauli said, gazing across the water. Adam's gaze, however, had shifted to Sauli and his beauty.
"You're looking at me again," Sauli murmured.
Adam sighed. "Can I tell you something?"
Sauli stepped closer to Adam, giving him his full attention. "Of course."
With a deep breath, Adam said, "I really want to kiss you right now."
"What is stopping you?" Sauli asked, his voice a little shaky.
Adam closed the distance between them, touched Sauli's slender waist (Adam noticed that the blonde trembled a little at the touch), pulled him close. Closing his eyes, Adam tilted his head and gently touched his lips to Sauli's. Just a second later, he pulled back, looked nervously for Sauli's reaction. He had butterflies-was this the first time he'd ever felt butterflies? That was the most amazing kiss he'd ever had. The sweetest, most delicate, fragile, breakable, wonderful thing he'd ever felt.
There was a smile on Sauli's face. Then Sauli's hand was on the back of Adam's neck, pulling him back down for another kiss. This time, they both had their mouths open, and Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli, pressing their bodies together. They broke apart, and Adam bent his head and blushed, his wet hair falling into his eyes. Sauli reached forward and swept it to the side, looking into the taller man's eyes. He stood on his tiptoes tilted Adam's chin up for one more quick, sweet kiss.
They both smiled shyly at each other. Adam was suddenly overwhelmed. He pulled Sauli close to him in a tight, intimate hug. He felt Sauli's lips on his neck.
"Come with me," Sauli whispered.
…
"Let me just run up to my room and get some clothes," Adam said.
"They will not stay dry," Sauli pointed out, following Adam up to his hotel room.
"I'll put them in a bag or something." Adam unlocked the door and hurried inside. He grabbed the plastic bag he'd put his shampoo in when he'd packed it and stuffed a change of clothes in it, then locked the hotel door behind him.
…
Sauli was staying in a small, seaside cabana right on the ocean, with big bay windows in all the rooms. In fact, the California king bed was in the front room, situated right next to the window with the best view of the ocean.
Earlier, down at the pier, Sauli had invited Adam to spend the night, to sleep with him. Just in the literal sense, meaning actually just sleeping together. They were not going to fuck. Not tonight. Not when everything was going so right and could be ruined so easily.
"Do you want to take your shower first?" Sauli asked.
"No, you can," Adam said.
"Adam, please, go ahead."
"Are you sure?"
"It is only a shower. Of course I'm sure, go ahead."
Adam grinned and gave Sauli a quick peck on the cheek, then headed toward the shower.
…
After Adam and Sauli had both showered and put dry clothes on, it was getting late.
"Would you like some wine?" Sauli asked, padding into the small kitchen and holding up the half-full bottle for Adam to see.
"Sure," Adam said, going into the kitchen and sitting on one of the two tall stools at the bar. Sauli poured the dark red merlot into a wine glass and handed it to Adam, then poured a glass for himself.
Before he sat down, he lit some candles, their flickering flames reflecting in the glass of the window.
"Cheers," Adam said softly.
"To what?" Sauli wondered.
"You."
"Cheers to me? No, to you, Adam."
Adam grinned and clinked his glass against Sauli's. "To both of us, then," he said, and took a sip.
…
They talked for a long time that night. Finished the wine, climbed into bed, and talked some more. They talked about everything and nothing. They talked about their families, their friends, their first dates, their most embarrassing moments, their fears, their desires. They talked until well after midnight.
"I'm getting tired," Adam said, stifling a yawn.
Sauli smiled sleepily. "So am I."
Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli and pulled the covers up over their bodies. They were silent for a moment, and they could hear the faint sounds of waves hitting the beach and rain hitting the window.
"Good night," Adam said finally. He could barely keep his eyes open.
Sauli tilted his face up and kissed him gently. "Good night," he echoed.
…
Wednesday morning snuck in through the windowWe just laid there and listened to the waves come and go
Adam woke up the next day earlier than Sauli did. He lie there for a while, listening to the waves and the sound of Sauli breathing. Right where he was, Adam felt happier and more content than he ever had before. He placed his hand on Sauli's chest and felt his heart beating beneath his t-shirt. Just a moment later, Sauli opened his blue eyes, blinking a few times. He looked up at Adam, but neither of them said anything. They just smiled softly at each other.
The rain wasn't falling as hard, it was just lightly sprinkling, so all they could hear were the waves crashing against the shore. The two men lay in silence for a long time. Finally, Sauli leaned over and kissed Adam on the cheek, then climbed out of bed, with Adam following soon after. "Do you want me to make breakfast?" Sauli asked, speaking for the first time that morning.
Adam smiled at the offer. "Or," he said, "we could go eat at our restaurant."
"Our restaurant?" Sauli raised an eyebrow.
"I guess that's how I think of it," Adam admitted.
"Let's go."
…
Later that day, the sun came out, but it continued to sprinkle.
"This weather is bizarre," Sauli commented, on their walk to Adam's hotel room from the café.
"I like it, though. It's a sun shower."
"That sounds so pretty, sun shower."
"It is pretty."
"You know what we should do today, Adam?"
"What?"
"Well, it is so hot out already, and it's sunny, and there is a trail that leads to a really beautiful waterfall," Sauli said.
Adam liked that Sauli just took it that they were going to be spending the rest of their time on the island together, because he'd felt guilty for taking it for granted that Sauli would want to spend so much time with him, and was glad that Sauli felt the same. "Okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Do I sound unsure?" Adam asked, repeating something Sauli had said the morning they first met in the coffee shop. This made Sauli smile, and he reached over and took Adam's hand.
…
The hike to the waterfall was long, and definitely not one of the beginners' trails. It took over an hour to get there, and Adam was panting by the time they arrived. He sat down on a rock and closed his eyes, resting for a moment. He wished they'd thought to bring water. He was hot, even though it was still raining a little bit.
"At least come see the waterfall," Sauli said, taking Adam's hand and pulling him to his feet.
The site of the waterfall made Adam gasp. It was gorgeous. It wasn't very tall-less than fifteen feet-but it flowed off the side of a cliff into a deep pool. Lush green plants and flowers and trees surrounded everything, as well as rocks for climbing and sitting. On the other side of the large pool, a small stream flowed out and around a bend. Birds chirped and called to one another in the treetops, but Adam could barely hear them for the roar of the falls.
"It's beautiful," Adam gushed, still holding Sauli's hand.
"I know it is," the Finn replied. "Are you afraid of heights?"
"No, why?" Adam asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Let's go to the top."
Adam could see by now that Sauli was much more adventurous and nature-y than he was. He remembered thinking that this island was perfect for outdoorsy people, hence why Sauli came here.
"How?"
"See those rocks on the far side of it? We can climb up them," Sauli explained, pointing.
The thought made Adam a little nervous. What if they slipped and fell? "How do we get over there?"
"We go across right over there," Sauli said, gesturing toward the tiny stream flowing out of the pool.
"Okay," Adam said, a little unsurely. They sat down on a big rock to take their shoes off (although the rock was small enough that Adam could get away with sitting close enough to Sauli so that they were touching). Then Sauli stood up and pulled his already-wet t-shirt off.
Adam couldn't resist sneaking a peek at him, and then it was all he could do to keep his jaw from dropping. Sauli's body was perfect. Adam could see the muscles beneath his skin, the way it looked so smooth and soft, and he admired the two birds tattooed at the top of his chest.
Suddenly, he kind of snapped back into reality and tore his eyes away from Sauli's sexy chest. Now, he had to admit, he was a little bit self-conscious. He stood up and tentatively lifted his shirt over his head. He risked a glance over at Sauli, just to see his reaction.
The blonde man was looking at him in awe, openly staring at Adam's chest. Feeling a little insecure, Adam covered himself with his arms and looked at the ground.
"Don't," Sauli said suddenly, stepping closer to Adam and gently moving his arms away. "So many freckles," he marveled quietly, almost to himself. "You are beautiful, Adam."
"No, you are," Adam replied. Sauli didn't say anything else, just stood on the tips of his toes and kissed Adam until he was breathless. When they pulled apart, Sauli rested his right hand on Adam's freckled chest, right over his heart, and gazed up at him. They didn't speak, just stood like that for the longest time. Quiet.
…
The two men began climbing up the rocks to the top of the small cliff, trying their best to keep steady. The rain was falling harder now, but, miraculously, the sun was still shining brightly. It surprisingly didn't take them very long to get to the top, since they didn't slip once. Sauli got there first, and reached out his hand to help Adam up.
The view from the top was spectacular. They could see for such a long way in all directions, and there was another path going off into the distance.
"Wow," Adam breathed.
"Wow."
"This is amazing."
"Let's jump off." Sauli's response startled Adam a little bit.
"You're asking me to jump off a cliff with you?" Adam asked skeptically.
"Hey, you owe me. I brought you wet flowers."
Adam burst out laughing. "Sure, Sauli, I'll jump."
"You will?" Sauli sounded surprised. Adam didn't blame him. He'd been surprised by his own response also. "Yeah."
"Right now?" Sauli asked doubtfully.
"If you want me to, I will," Adam told him softly.
"Okay," Sauli whispered.
Adam gripped Sauli's hand tightly. They stepped back from the edge. "Jump out," Sauli said. Adam took a deep breath. Sauli counted down from three…two…one. They jumped.
It felt like they were falling forever, even though it was only a matter of seconds. They hit the water and went down, down, down…and resurfaced just a few seconds later. Out of breath but full of adrenaline, Adam exclaimed, "Oh my God!" And they laughed. They swam to the bank and hoisted themselves onto a rock, breathing hard and grinning.
"I can't believe we just did that," Adam said. "I can't believe I just did that."
"I…Adam, why did you jump with me?" Sauli asked a moment later.
"Huh?"
"The water down here could have been two feet deep and we could have been killed. You didn't ask about that. You just jumped with me. Why?" Sauli asked.
"I trust you," Adam replied honestly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Did you know that the water was deep enough, though?"
"I did. I came here the other day."
"Did you jump off?" Adam wanted to know.
"No," Sauli answered, smiling. "So…you trust me?"
"I do. Do you trust me?"
"Yes," was the simple answer.
Adam couldn't hide his smile. "I want to kiss you," he said.
Sauli's reply came in the form of leaning into Adam and pressing their lips together.
…
Adam and Sauli sat together on Adam's hotel bed, both fresh from their showers a few minutes before. Sauli was wearing a pair of Adam's drawstring pants and a black tank top, and Adam's outfit matched exactly, except his tank was gray.
"I want to make you dinner tonight," Adam said. "What do you like?"
"What can you make?"
"Whatever you want. Within reason." He added that last sentence as an afterthought, because once he'd been babysitting his cousin, and she'd begged for him to make her Baked Alaska.
"Seriously, if you make it, I will eat it," Sauli told him.
"You're a vegetarian. What if I made steak?"
"I would eat it!"
"You would not!" Adam laughed.
"I would!" Sauli insisted, and something in his eyes made Adam believe him.
"How about soup and salad?" Adam suggested quietly. His hotel room had a little kitchenette complete with a hot plate, a pot, two bowls, and two sets of silverware. He'd had to pay extra for it, but he'd known to ask since it was cheaper than having to pay for every meal because he couldn't cook for himself.
"What are you going to make it with?" Sauli asked, puzzled.
"I'll run down to the market. It's in the next block," Adam replied.
"You will get all wet!"
Adam laughed. "Contrary to popular belief, I did bring an umbrella with me. I'll be right back. Can you hang out here for fifteen minutes?"
"Of course! I will not go through your things," Sauli promised.
"Oh, I don't care. Just look out for my stash of sex toys."
The look on Sauli's face was priceless.
"I'm kidding!" Adam called as he walked out the door.
…
Adam came back about twenty minutes later, barely wet and with two grocery bags in tow. He shook the umbrella out while still standing in the doorway, and set it next to the door. As he took the bags into the kitchenette, he looked over at Sauli.
"I found something," Sauli said slowly, holding up a small notebook with a leather cover.
Oh.
"What is this?" Sauli asked. Adam set the bags down and sat down on his bed next to Sauli, who handed him the book.
"I'm sorry, I only looked in the first page. I was just curious-"
Adam laughed. "It's okay! Promise."
"So what is it?"
"Well, I don't think I told you this, but I sing. And I write songs. That whole notebook is full of songs."
"You sing? Are you good, Adam?" Sauli wondered.
Adam shrugged. He was good, but he didn't want to seem conceited. "I'm okay, I guess."
"Will you sing to me sometime?"
"Sometime."
"Will you sing one of your songs to me?"
"They're not that good."
"I am sure they are."
"I'll think about it."
…
Adam set all the groceries out on the counter and started on the vegetable soup first. "You know," he said, cutting and slicing the ingredients and tossing them into the pot, "I'm famous for my vegetable soup."
"Really?" Sauli smiled from his perch on the bed.
"We-ell…No. You caught me." Adam held up his hands, and Sauli laughed. "But I've been told it's pretty good."
"I cannot wait to try it," Sauli told him. "It smells delicious."
Once the salad was finished, Sauli grabbed the bottle of wine he'd brought. Soon, they were sitting down together, cross-legged against the door on Adam's balcony. It was still barely sprinkling, and the wind was blowing from the other side of the hotel, so they didn't get wet.
"This is so good," Sauli said, taking a big bite of salad. "Thank you for making it."
"No problem," Adam replied with a grin.
"No, really, thank you, Adam," Sauli repeated.
Adam started to say, "It's just dinner," but instead, he just smiled and said, "You're welcome."
"I cannot believe I forgot to bring glasses over here," Sauli said, referring to the fact that they were having to sip the wine straight from the bottle. Adam dismissed it with a wave of his hand and took another drink, to show that he was okay with it.
Suddenly, Adam leaned over and popped a kiss on Sauli's stubbly cheek. Sauli grinned. "What was that for?"
"I dunno," Adam replied, returning the smile.
…
Sauli spent the night in Adam's room that night. They stayed up late again, talking and trading stories and telling secrets, until finally they just drifted off.
Adam awoke the next morning with Sauli's head on his chest. He didn't move, so as not to disturb him, and he couldn't help thinking that he could get used to this. Only a few moments later, Sauli blinked and opened his eyes. He looked up at Adam and smiled softly.
"I didn't wake you up, did I?" Adam asked worriedly.
Sauli reached up to lay a hand on Adam's face. "Of course not," he whispered.
They climbed out of bed after awhile, and Adam started the coffee maker. "I guess we could have drank out of the coffee cups last night," he pointed out. "I can't believe I didn't think about that!"
"I think it was perfect just how it was," Sauli said, snaking his arms around Adam's waist and hugging him. Adam, meanwhile, couldn't concentrate on the feel of Sauli's body against his. This was because he suddenly remembered that he had to leave the island tomorrow.
…
That day, Thursday, their last full day (even though neither of them mentioned it, they both knew that they had to leave the next day), Adam and Sauli didn't do much of anything. It was another sun shower day, even though the rain was falling harder this time. They put on their swim trunks and that was it, and walked down to the beach outside of Sauli's cabana. They sat there in the sand with their feet in the water and the rain falling around them, and Sauli pointed out a faint rainbow.
Later on, they were lying down on their bellies in the sand, propped up on their elbows.
"Sauli?" Adam said suddenly.
"Yes?"
"Tell me something about yourself that I don't already know."
"I think you know everything about me," Sauli replied.
"I bet there's one thing," Adam said.
"Well…maybe."
"Tell me." Adam said this much gentler than it sounds, in a soft voice.
"I have never been in love before," Sauli said.
Before.
Adam wondered what this could mean. Some people might say, "I've never been skydiving before," as if they're about to go skydiving, but they aren't. So it could've just meant, "I've never been in love, ever."
But, and Adam hardly dared to hope for this possibility, it could mean, "I've never been in love before now."
Adam realized he should probably reply to this, so he did, truthfully: "I haven't either."
"Really?" Sauli looked into his eyes.
"Really," Adam replied, matching Sauli's intense gaze.
"Tell me something about you, now," Sauli requested a few moments later.
"I just did!"
"Something else."
"I don't think I have anything else to tell you," Adam admitted.
"Surely, you have something that I don't know," Sauli said.
"I can't think of anything right now, Sauli," Adam said apologetically. "If I think of anything, I'll tell you."
"Do not forget," Sauli warned playfully, leaning up to give Adam a kiss. Adam smiled against his lips, liking that Sauli just kissed him casually.
Sauli pulled back, a smile on his face as well. "What?"
Adam thought for a second. "You know what my secret is?"
"What?"
"I love kissing."
"That is not a secret!" Sauli giggled.
"You didn't know it before, did you?" Adam said, raising an eyebrow.
"I could have guessed," Sauli said, defensively.
"Whatever you say," Adam sang.
"I guess that means I should kiss you again."
"I guess it does!"
So they sat up in the sand and Sauli pulled Adam close, kissing him gently at first. Adam sighed contentedly and deepened the kiss, perfectly happy to just sit there in the rain kissing Sauli forever.
…
By Thursday I knew everything about her
And God, the last day I didn't wanna leave without her
…
Adam woke up in Sauli's bed Friday morning, but he made no move to get up. Sauli was still sleeping soundly-Adam could tell by now that he was a late sleeper. For this reason, and others, Adam was content to lay there with the blonde in his arms and think about the events of the past week.
He had never been so happy. Had it been fate that had brought him into the café that rainy Saturday morning? Fate that had made it so crowded, fate that had made Sauli tap him on the shoulder and say, "Do you need a place to sit?"?
Was he in love? He'd surely never felt this way about anyone else before. He couldn't even explain it, why he felt like this. When he thought Sauli, he thought love. Adam struggled with this. How could he love someone he'd only met a week ago? But…how could he not? They'd spent hours upon hours talking, sharing secrets, hopes, dreams, and fears. Adam had bared his soul to Sauli, and he felt that the other man had done the same. So it's not like they didn't know each other.
Maybe, Adam wondered, the reason that he wouldn't admit to even himself that he loved Sauli was that he was afraid. After all, there was a chance-a big chance-that they might not ever see each other again. Suddenly, he had an idea.
Gently disentangling himself from Sauli, Adam climbed out of bed as quietly as he could. He headed straight for the kitchen, where he'd seen a pad of paper and a pen the day before. He sat down at the bar to write.
Dear Sauli, he wrote,
We both have to leave today. We might not ever see each other again. If we don't, I don't want you to ever forget me. I will never forget this week, and I especially will always remember you. Even if you meet someone else and fall in love and get married, still remember me. These seven days that I've known you were the happiest of my life. I know, that sounds clichéd and fake, but it's true. You make me so happy, Sauli, and I am going to miss you forever. I know it sounds like I am coming on too strong, and maybe I am, but this is just something I have to tell you.
I've never felt this way for anyone before. It's hard to even admit to myself, maybe because I'm scared, but… Sauli, I think I love you. It seems too soon and it seems like it happened to fast, but I can't help it. Like I said, I have never felt like this in my life. I've thought that I loved people before, but the way I felt then doesn't even compare to how I feel about you. Yesterday, when I said I've never been in love before, I meant before now. Before you. I know you said the same thing, but I don't know what you meant and I'm too scared to ask you because I'm scared you didn't mean it in the same way. We have to go soon, and I'm praying to any god that will listen that we will find each other again someday. I just needed to let you know these things, I'm sorry that it's kind of rambling. I am going to miss you with all my heart, Sauli.
I do love you,
Adam.
…
Adam tucked the letter into Sauli's already-packed suitcase, and climbed back into bed with him, wiping away the tears that had fallen while he was writing. He wrapped his arms around Sauli and pulled the covers back up over both of them. Sighing, he pressed his lips to Sauli's neck and closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling and the moment.
After a few minutes, Sauli stirred a little bit, then opened his eyes.
"Good morning," Adam whispered against Sauli's skin.
Sauli smiled sleepily and murmured something. He tilted his head back so Adam could kiss it more easily, which he did, even sucking a little bit, creating a hickey that would last at least a few days after they said good-bye.
…
Later, after they'd eaten breakfast, Sauli was sitting on Adam's bed while Adam packed, and they talked. They talked about everything except how they'd have to leave each other soon. Adam's boat left at one o'clock p.m., while Sauli's didn't leave until 2:30.
"I am going to miss this place," Sauli sighed once Adam was done packing.
"It hasn't stopped raining all week," Adam said, joining the Finn on the bed and putting his arms around him.
"It will probably stop the moment our boats leave the island," Sauli joked half-heartedly.
"I'm going to miss you," Adam whispered.
"I am going to miss you," Sauli repeated, leaning into Adam.
Adam ran his hands through Sauli's blond hair, and they were silent, most assuredly thinking about the same thing.
…
The sidewalks, the streets were soakedThe sky was gray but you should've seen her faceShining like that lighthouse through all the rainAnd the way she called my name
It was 12:15. Almost time for Adam to leave. He and Sauli had gone down to the harbor and Adam had checked in, and one of the men who worked on the boat had taken his luggage down to the cabin for him.
"Can I walk around for awhile, before it's time to leave?" Adam asked the captain.
"The boat leaves at one," was all the captain said. Adam took that as a yes. So he took Sauli's hand and they set off, walking through the drizzling rain back downtown one last time.
"It is all so…wet," Sauli noted, looking up at the gray, cloudy sky.
"I know," Adam replied. "I can't believe it hasn't stormed once, though."
Sauli squeezed his hand tighter, and Adam knew that they were just talking about the weather to keep their minds off of what was inevitable.
Suddenly, Sauli stopped, right in the middle of the sidewalk. "You never sang to me!"
"I'll sing to you right now, if you want," Adam said, upset that he'd forgotten. "I'm not going to sing one of my songs, though."
"That is fine."
So Adam began to sing.
"I've nothing much to offerThere's nothing much to takeI'm an absolute beginnerAnd I'm absolutely sane."
Adam looked into Sauli's eyes as he sang what was, in his opinion, one of the best love songs ever written. He knew Sauli was going to listen to the words of the song, and wonder if Adam loved him. But he also knew that Sauli would read his letter later, and Adam hoped that would clarify everything."As long as we're togetherThe rest can go to hellI absolutely love youBut we're absolute beginnersWith eyes completely openBut nervous all the same."
Sauli looked as though he was holding back tears. They were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, facing each other, and Adam was holding tightly onto both of his hands."If our love songCould fly over mountainsCould laugh at the oceanJust like the filmsThere's no reasonTo feel all the hard timesTo lay down the hard linesIt's absolutely true."
Adam desperately wanted to finish singing the song, but he couldn't. Tears were streaming down his face, and Sauli's too, but he almost couldn't tell, for the rain. He pulled Sauli close in the most intimate embrace possible.
"I don't want to leave you," he choked out. Sauli didn't reply, just hugged Adam tighter, more desperately, like maybe if he hugged tight enough, they wouldn't have to leave each other. All of a sudden, Adam looked up at the big clock in front of the bank, which was right behind them.
"Sauli, it's twelve forty-five. I-I have to leave," Adam said, sounding scared.. He didn't make a move to go, he stayed standing there in the rain, which was now falling harder.
"No," was all Sauli could say, his lower lip trembling.
Adam pulled Sauli close and kissed him sweetly but passionately, hoping that his actions could convey the feelings he couldn't say in words.
"Good-bye," he whispered, his voice cracking, when they pulled apart. "I will never, ever forget you, Sauli." They kissed once more.
"Mina rakastan sinua," Sauli whispered in Adam's ear.
"What does that mean?" Adam asked anxiously, widening his eyes.
Sauli repeated what he said, confusing Adam even more. Then, he said, "Adam, you have to go."
Adam didn't say anything more, just turned and ran toward the harbor.
"Adam!" Sauli's voice cut through the cool air, and Adam whirled around. Sauli stood where Adam had left him, his face shining. He waved.
Adam waved back, then tore himself away, repeating Sauli's foreign words in his head over and over, fearing that he would forget.
Mina rakastan sinua.
Mina rakastan sinua.
The second Adam got to the marina, he ran up to the desk.
"Can I borrow a pen and paper?" He asked. Something about his soaking wet clothes, tear-stained face, and frantic tone must have convinced the woman behind the desk that it was important, because she handed them to him without question. He quickly wrote down the words phonetically, having no idea how they were spelled.
"Me-nuh rock-uh-ston sin-you-ah," his paper said. He carefully cupped it in his hand to prevent it from getting wet and showed the captain his ticket as he hurried down to the cabin, just in time.
…
I've lived those seven days a thousand times
Those seven days a thousand
…
Moments with her, now they're all a blurExcept for every second and every wordEvery drop of rain, every single grain of sand
…
Not long after I got back home, I found out what those three words Sauli had said to me meant. They mean "I love you." Once I was on the plane, I realized that there was one thing that we didn't know about each other.
I didn't know his last name, and he didn't know mine. Over the past two years I've searched and searched, but I never found him. It's like he disappeared. He hasn't found me, either, even though there are probably several ways he could've. Maybe he hasn't tried to.
I don't think about him every day anymore, but the reminder is always there. I couldn't forget him if I tried, but I would never, ever try. I don't know if I still love him. I haven't known him for two years. He could have changed completely.
Now, I doubt that we will ever meet again. Maybe someday I will go to Finland, to his town, and find him. But I don't want to seek him out. I want us to meet again by chance, just as we met the first time, on that rainy Saturday. It will probably never happen, but I will never give up hope, because I believe in miracles, and Sauli is a miracle.
…
Adam did end up going to Finland one day. He was twenty eight when he did. He went with a group of his friends for a vacation-it wasn't even his idea. They traveled to Helsinki, but Adam had accepted the fact that he would never see Sauli again. Besides, Sauli lived in a small town almost an hour away from Helsinki, or he had three years before.
On their first night there, Adam and his friends went to a club called Jenny Woo. It was a popular place, evidently, because it was packed. Adam's friends were already out on the dance floor, so Adam made his way over to the bar and ordered a drink. A moment later, he stood, looking out over the sea of moving people, trying to find an empty table.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and Adam turned around. As he did, he heard a familiar voice, one he hadn't heard in, oh, say, three years-except for in his dreams-he heard that voice say, "Do you need a place to sit?"
And he turned around, disbelieving, and grinned even though his eyes were filling up with tears. "You sure?" He knew this conversation…
"Do I sound unsure?"
I hope you liked it! Please please please review! It makes my day every time! :)