Domesticitis
Summary: It's a real disease, you know—turns grumpy men into absolute sweethearts and wild and crazy men into relatively responsible individuals. Funny thing is people only mind getting it until they actually have it (then they enjoy it).
DISCLAIMER:Star Trek and everything affiliated with it belongs to Gene Roddenberry, JJ Abrams, and all those other people who own it. All I own is the plot…
Rating: K+
For the record, James Tiberius Kirk is a sneaky, lying, underhanded bastard, and despite all evidence to the contrary Leonard McCoy is far too trusting for his own good.
At least, he's trusting when it comes to James Tiberius Kirk. Which, in retrospect, is pretty damn stupid, because James Tiberius Kirk is, as has been previously mentioned, a sneaky, lying, underhanded bastard.
Anyhow, that isn't the point of this story. Maybe. Or maybe it is.
It all starts the day Jocelyn Darnell-Treadway (Leonard's no-good cheating ex-wife) and her husband, Clay Treadway, are in a terrible car crash.
They don't die (which Leonard considers to be a bit of a disappointment, when he's being really honest with himself), but they're in bad enough condition that Joanna (beautiful, sweet, perfect Joanna) needs someone to take care of her.
And Jocelyn (bless the blackened hole where her heart is supposed to be) calls Leonard, who is on Earth for as long as it takes to repair and refit the Enterprise before her first five year mission.
Which finds Leonard in Thomson, Georgia, in the small house left to him by his mother, who had passed on after the divorce was finalized (meaning he was actually able to keep it from slipping into Jocelyn's possession).
The austere home he'd grown up in isn't so austere, anymore, without anyone around to keep up with it, but when he steps inside he can still catch the faint scent of his mother's favorite perfume, and in the kitchen lingers smells of gingerbread houses and chocolate chip cookies long ago abolished by ravenous children.
Joanna stays with Jocelyn's mother during the two days that it takes Leonard to get the house livable—airing out mattresses, mowing the lawn, fixing the leaky roof, etc.
And Jim—that sneaky, lying, underhanded bastard—is supposed to arrive exactly one week after that.
Exactly one week.
So Leonard lets himself relax with his daughter, who, at six ("and a half, Daddy!"), is the epitome of all that is adorable, and still hero-worships her father even though he hasn't been around for the majority of her life.
She has her mother's golden-blonde hair—which curls like her Grandma McCoy's—her father's eyes, and some fatal combination of their stubbornness and her own wide-eyed cuteness. This leads to her getting anything and everything she wants from Leonard, who pretends to argue if only because he knows that if he doesn't at least attempt an argument once Jim gets there, the other man will come under the (totally, completely mistaken) opinion that he's a big pushover.
And he's not, really.
Most of the time.
The day before Jim is supposed to arrive, Leonard has been coaxed into his dress uniform, which has been "made pretty" with the addition of a large pink ribbon that has taken the place of his usual uniform decorations.
Once dressed, he escorts Joanna—who is wearing a fluffy, bright pink dress that matches his ribbon—to the back yard, where a small wicker table has been decked out with a lacy tablecloth (found in Grandma McCoy's linen closet) and a fancy tea set.
After seating Joanna, Leonard takes his own seat across from her, only just managing to hide his grin behind a formal expression (that he definitely didn't copy from Spock) as she pours sweet tea from the fancy kettle into their teacups with all the seriousness of an ambassador.
She offers him a bite of her peanut butter and jelly ("hold the jelly!") sandwich, and as he gingerly takes it in his mouth, he looks up just in time to see Jim round the corner of the house.
That sneaky, lying, underhanded bastard.
"Uncle Jim!" Joanna squeals, jumping out of her seat and sprinting over to Jim, who crouches long enough to catch her in his arms and then stands, spinning her around.
Looking at them, you wouldn't think that this is the first time they've ever met face-to-face, but it is.
"Hey, Jojo!" Jim says as he sets her down, ruffling her hair.
"Do you like my dress?" She asks, spinning around once to show it off.
"You look just like a princess." Jim says, receiving a giggle in response to the compliment, and then looks over at Leonard, one eyebrow arching in an obvious imitation of Spock (and two imitations of that green-blooded hobgoblin are quite enough for one day, in Leonard's opinion). "And your daddy looks like a prince."
Joanna giggles again, grabbing Jim's hand and pulling him toward the tea party. "Daddy's the king, silly! He has to be, if I'm the princess."
"Right, of course." Jim says, suppressing a smirk, and bows with as much pomp and circumstance as he thinks he can get away with without suffering a hypo to the neck in revenge. "King Leonard, I respectfully request permission to join your…ah, luncheon."
"Da-darnit, Jim—" Leonard begins.
"Daddy!" Joanna hisses. "Call him by his title! Duke."
Leonard presses his lips together, eyebrows drawing together in obvious contention, but when he opens his mouth what comes out is, "It would be my honor for you to join us, Duke," rather than the curses to which Jim has grown accustomed.
What follows is a rather stinted 'luncheon' (which is probably going to be Joanna's new favorite word, Goddammit, Jim); at least, Leonard is stinted. Jim and Joanna chatter on like old pals.
And Leonard isn't at all jealous of their easy camaraderie, really.
Also, anyone who thinks that Leonard H. McCoy is an impatient man with an explosive temper can suck it, because he waits until after Joanna has been asleep for an entire hour before he confronts Jim.
"Goddammit, Jim, you weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow!"
"Aw, Kingy, that means you missed me, right?" Jim, of course, is the very picture of innocence and calm.
Leonard wishes he had never taken the Hippocratic Oath.
"Look, Bones, I tried messaging your comm but you didn't pick up." Jim almost looks like he might be thinking of feeling a little apologetic (maybe). "I got everything wrapped up a little sooner than expected so…" Now he actually looks a little awkward, eyes flickering to the ground, arms folding behind his back. "I guess I should've waited?"
And Leonard, God help him, has never been able to stand that damned expression on Jim (and, okay, so it had saved Earth and all that one time, but he's really going to have to build up an immunity before it gets them in trouble). So he runs a hand through his hair, sighs, and undoes the top of his uniform—because while he doesn't have to build up any sort of immunity to his baby girl (who insisted he wear it for the rest of the day), he would rather finish the conversation without an itchy neck and inability to properly breathe.
"No, Jim, I…Christ, I just didn't expect you." Leonard says. "And I guess I especially didn't expect you to see me like that…"
"What, abso-fucking-lutely adorable?" Jim takes a step closer so that he is invading Leonard's personal space (although personal space has always been something of a relative term in regards to Jim). "Never thought I'd say this about you, Bones, but you are so freaking cute." Seeing the look on Leonard's face, he amends, "When you're with your daughter." Also when he's blushing, like now, but Jim knows that to say so means facing Certain Hypo (of Doom).
Leonard sighs again and slings an arm around Jim's shoulders. "Well, these old bones are beat. Let's go check on Joanna and go to bed."
"Mkay." Jim yawns and wonders when in the hell Leonard's Young-Man-Turned-Old-Codger Syndrome became contagious, because it's only ten o'clock. Also, it's Friday, and his first day of leave. But he doesn't say anything, mostly because bitching about everything is Leonard's shtick, but also because Leonard is already halfway up the stairs.
He follows, and wonders if he should feel this warm in his chest watching his best friend (with benefits) sneak into his daughter's room and kiss her forehead.
He figures Young-Man-Turned-Old-Codger Syndrome must be the gateway disease to Domesticitis.
And, as Leonard leads him into their shared bedroom and kisses him on the forehead, he figures he doesn't mind if it is.
The End.
A/N: Based off of an adorable picture of a father and daughter having a tea party that I found while surfing the internet last night. The IMMEDIATE image of Bones and Joanna having a tea party (and Jim walking in on it) was too cute to resist.
(Also, I think I might have a domesticity kink. Gads.)