It is so hard so times.
So fucking hard.
To watch him kiss her.
And to watch him watch me.
Someone who looks at me like that shouldn't be with her.
He should be with me.
He should hold me in his arms.
And never...ever...let go.
But that's not how my life is laid out.
It's a board game.
My heart is moved along the path.
The end is heartbreak.
Breaking me down every inch of the way.
Roll a three, you cheat on me.
Roll a four, you're out the door.
Here we are.
Close to the end of the game.
Make up your mind.
Because win or lose,
You'll be the prize I choose.
"Jude." He saw me see him.
Kissing her, again.
Third time, first time he's known.
We've been together three fucking years.
No rings, just us.
Finally we were together, and he cheated.
He fucking cheated.
There are no rules.
This is the game, whether you win or lose
This is your future, that's your past
I've seen your present
You've discovered it at last
"Sorry." Not meaning it I rushed out of the bedroom.
"Damn't!" I heard him shout as he climbed off of her.
I was near the door, leaning down to grab my purse.
When the first tear hit the floor.
It shattered. It echoed.
It rang in my ears.
I had promised myself I wouldn't cry over his stupid mistakes.
Over his lies.
But here I am...breaking my promise.
The last roll.
The last kiss.
When we started this game...
We had nothing but bliss.
It was so good...
So sweet.
Every time you smiled you nearly knocked me off my feet.
It felt good.
It still does.
"No Tommy." He was about to say something when I put a finger to his lips.
"I'm sorry. I should have stopped it." He said quickly.
"You should have never started it." I brushed by him, exiting the house.
The rain fell down hard. I pulled my hood over my head and pulled the drawstrings tight.
I walked along the sidewalk, not going anywhere in particular.
Then I heard his footsteps behind me.
I sighed in relief.
I stopped mid-step and looked up at the sky.
"What took you so long?" I ask.
I turn to him...and find nobody.
I blink back tears.
Damn mind.
Playing tricks on me.
I continue walking.
In the other direction.
I let me feet lead me.
Past my home.
I enter the backyard gate.
You cheated this game.
Let's quit it now.
Let's end this unlucky affair.
I don't care...I don't really care
We all make mistakes
But we've got to try
To find our love and classify
Who we are
Where we've been
It's so hard to say
Why I feel this way
I just do
I climb into the treehouse
I tuck my knees under my chin
The bedroom light is on
He's walking around
Pacing
His hand to his head
He slams his wrists against the wall
He's crying
Damn
He cheated
I lost the game
Goodbye
I climb out of the tree house and walk away
The rain pours harder
Sequel pending. Let me know if I should. Was it good or bad? R&R Please. Thanks!
33 Becky