Set 10 years before Shippuuden, so Hidan is at the cheeky, know-it-all, yet still slightly innocent age of 12 (at the start anyway) and God knows what age Orochimaru is. O_o 40s-50s? (yeah…I kind of messed with the timeline, as in ch1 Orochi is still in Konoha) I wanted to write more Hidan and Oro fics, and to make it at least slightly different from Tensei; Orochimaru's motives are more or less harmless in this one. Ever since he started featuring in my fics, I've started to like him more…O-o Not that much more though. :3
Contains some random made-up villagers, whose sole purpose is to flesh out the bizarre plot.
Entertainment
That stranger was there again.
He stood there in the village leader's office with two other weirdoes, though to be honest, they looked normal compared to how creepy this guy was. He looked kind of snake-like; it was just plain freaky. Some of the senseis had been going on about those three foreigners, that they were special jounin, legendary shinobi from Konoha, here to have some over-rated talk about the treaty between the two villages, though why they bothered to ally with this shithole was anyone's guess.
The woman was deep in conversation with the leader, and the other man was looking over her shoulder, looking vaguely interested. But that man… He just wouldn't stop staring, just like yesterday. His yellow eyes glinted with a strange light, seen even from the considerable distance. What the hell was his problem? The local ninja academy wasn't the most thrilling thing in the world, seriously-
"Hidan-san, the class is this way. Turn around please. And stay around this time."
With a last suspicious glance at the stranger, Hidan swivelled to face his sensei, looking bored. A student behind him sniggered, and he gave him a discreet kick, knowing the sensei's eyes were on him. The sniggering was cut off by a small grunt of pain.
The middle aged kunoichi gave Hidan one more look before turning to the class again.
"Remember, it's only a few weeks before your graduation exam, and that means no slacking off! We still have some theory to cover…"
As the sensei turned her back to write on the worn blackboard, Hidan glanced at the window again, noting that it wasn't locked. He smirked. They never learned, did they?
His fingers traced the edge until they found the latch, but at that moment, Ushiro-sensei turned. He jerked away from the window as she glanced suspiciously at him. He returned her look with a innocent smile of his own. A few hands were raised, and she took her eyes off him, but not enough to let him completely out of her sight.
In exasperation, Hidan stared out the window again. Those Konoha nin were still there. The creepy one was looking away, but he had a strange smirk on his face, and Hidan felt as if the shinobi was purposely avoiding his eye. He continued to stare, willing him to look round again.
"Hidan. Turn. Now."
He glanced at his sensei's irritated expression.
"Tch."
"Don't use that tone with me. You know you've got a test on this? If you keeping flunking theory, you'll have to repeat the year."
"I'll make it up in practical."
"Don't be stupid! Shinobi need to know this to properly execute the practicalities. Your physical skill alone won't be enough to-"
"Want me to prove it?"
"What?"
Hidan shoved open the window on his right. Ushiro-sensei merely crossed her arms, shaking her head. Sticking his tongue out at his classmates, Hidan deftly climbed out of his seat and onto the windowsill. He hung for a couple of seconds, while the students murmured, and his sensei started to protest angrily and move towards him. He let himself fall.
Hidan waved casually as he dropped, Ushiro-sensei's shouts joining the chorus of shocked students' cries. The tan coloured wall flew by, wind whistling past his ears as he hurtled down, drowning out the class's reaction. Knowing he would probably hit the ground soon, Hidan concentrated the chakra in his feet and landed somewhat clumsily on the grass below, his short, silver hair slightly askew, feet sore, but otherwise unharmed. His sensei was practically hanging out the third floor window, yelling at him. He flipped her off, and mouthed 'bitch,' corners of his mouth twitching as her face contorted with outrage. It was soon withdrawn from the window, leaving him to bask in his triumph as she ran down the stairs. He laughed at the image, and almost subconsciously, looked back at the leader's window. Was his audience enjoying the show?
The woman and the leader were still talking; the white haired man was backing up the woman, leaning in closer, all completely oblivious to his skill. But the other one was gone. Hidan frowned, but felt a strange sense of relief at the same time. Probably in the toilet, missing the whole thing. Sucker. Then a sound came from the academy – and he sprinted down the street, whooping in amusement.
Much to Hidan's disbelief, Ushiro-sensei did in fact chase him round the village, her shouts enlisting the help of some idle jounin in tracking him down. Some other shinobi must have been roped into minding the class while she pursued the truant, as she refused to give up the chase, no matter how many times Hidan attempted to shake her off. She was determined to punish him for his insolence, more prevalent today than ever, as Hidan had also managed to take the window frame off during his acrobatics.
As he dashed down the main street, he distinctly caught the sound of seven shinobi tailing him. All this for an academy student? He instinctively dived into the nearest shop. He ran straight through, jumping over heads and ignoring the complaints from the Ahou Tea manager, and headed for the back door. He skidded as he ran out to the side street; a jounin was already waiting for him, hands on his hips.
"Hidan-kun, this is getting ridicul-"
But before he could continue, Hidan grabbed the nearest object (which happened to be a broom) and charged. The jounin blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected the boy to be that foolish. He sighed and held out a hand to take the fast approaching broom handle – when Hidan suddenly thrust it into the ground and pole vaulted over the far wall.
"Bite me."
The jounin gaped as the boy sailed over his head, pulling a face as he disappeared over the concrete.
"You brat!"
Fuming, the jounin's embarrassment was added to by his fellow pursuers as they regrouped, and flew over the wall after the rather smug 'brat'.
The jounin spread out through the alleys, pairing off and blocking the ends of Hidan's escape route. Hidan continued running down the shady alley, but it didn't take long for him to tell they were closing in. Two appeared barely ten feet away, and he skidded to a halt, grimacing. Two more pairs of footsteps echoed off the walls behind him, and he sighed in mock defeat.
"Jeez, you guys are good at this. Better an Ushiro, though that's not saying much."
Pensive face breaking into a grin, his broom knocked off a nearby manhole cover, causing the jounin on his right to leap to the side as it rolled past. Hidan jumped in without a moment's hesitation. Throwing the broom a little ways down from his end of the sewer, he grabbed the first bar of the ladder and swung himself up onto the ceiling, clinging to the pipes. He heard footsteps and splashes, and hoisted himself on top of the pipes, and proceeded to run in the opposite direction. A few seconds later, the splashes were back, and he quickly shoved another metal lid off and jumped out, shoes squelching wetly. He heard the jounin again, and saw a hand reach out of the hole. Kicking the manhole cover back on (and most certainly fracturing said hand) he smirked at the yelp of pain he had caused and sprinted down the alley, doubling back on his earlier route.
Knowing that he was walking on even thinner ice now, and though he loved every second of it, Hidan didn't want to spend his whole day off avoiding capture. He took every corner that caught his eye and was soon heading towards the edge of the village, as far away from the academy as he could go within the confines of Yuugakure. The houses and shops were less dense here, and Hidan, confident that his erratic path had lost them for a while, slowed to a casual stroll. Out here, the steam after which the village was named snaked its way into the village from the local hot springs, making the air heavy and slightly opaque, and though it was only early spring, the temperature was a good five degrees warmer out here.
Hidan gave a start. He'd walked right by the village's extravagant bathhouse, and into the wilder area north of the village, when his stomach growled. He backtracked a little, stopping by the entrance in contemplation. He had to admit it hadn't been a good idea to leave all his stuff, money and food included, in the classroom. He wasn't going to risk sneaking into the bathhouse though, the owner, Ichiro, was hundreds of times more terrifying than those stick-up-their-ass jounin. Not to mention that he was a close relative, who often bewailed the loss of corporal punishment in the academies, and took Hidan's high resistance to pain and defiant tendencies as a personal challenge.
Hidan backed away from the bathhouse with a shiver.
Just then, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He whirled around, expecting to be ambushed by Ushiro and her cronies. Only one figure was visible through the warm fog. Hidan pulled a face. It was that weird Konoha shinobi, leaning casually against the bathhouse wall, some distance away, but still staring through the mist.
"You again."
The stranger gave a low laugh.
"Again? I don't believe we've met before. Unless you're referring to-"
"Gawking at the academy class for three days straight, yeah."
That low laugh again. That wasn't the reaction Hidan was expecting, and his eyes narrowed.
"Aren't you supposed to be talking with the village leader or something instead of following kids around?"
"I'm merely accessing the village strength, while my companions deal with the formalities."
"Piss off."
With that, Hidan started walking. He kept his eyes forward as he passed the foreigner, determined not to look at him, in case he saw how much his retort had amused rather than enraged the Konoha nin. The man didn't move a muscle.
"I saw your little stunt this morning. Very entertaining."
Hidan still felt wary, and didn't slow down, but after recalling the look on his sensei's face, he couldn't help letting the corners of his mouth twitch.
"They had it coming. Can't even handle a dumb kid."
"So I saw. You must be quite talented to so easily overcome the village jounin."
Hidan stopped and laughed.
"In case it hasn't got through to your retarded skull, this place is in the backend of nowhere. There is no talent here."
The man laughed with him.
"A village this small, I suppose I should have realised that myself…"
Hidan relaxed a little. This guy was finally seeing sense.
"Seriously, the only reason I stick around is for the missions, and I can't even do them yet. It's boring as hell."
The man looked sympathetic.
"It is a pity those who even show slight promise are bound to this sleepy little village."
Hidan didn't reply. He wasn't sure he liked where this conversation was heading anymore. He started strolling away, only to hear the stranger's voice again.
"…I thought I had found someone interesting."
Hidan stopped at the corner, and looked over his shoulder.
"Well all I found today was some freaky old guy. You like my work, feel free to come to my graduation. I'll wreck the place pretty good, just for you. See ya, snaky."
He turned away, reasonably convinced the conversation was over, and considered breaking back into the school now that the day had finished, just for kicks. Yellow eyes followed him closely as he sprinted away, and he was blissfully ignorant of the stranger thinking intently.
…
"Ok, last test, transformation. Turn into your sensei."
"Transformation no jutsu."
A vein pulsed in Ushiro sensei's temple. The other two examiners looked incredulous, the younger one turning away to hide his laughter.
"Hidan-san, when I said turn into your sensei, I expected an accurate copy, not your own interpretation."
"You don't think it's accurate? Then you need a mirror, lady, seriously."
"…Fail!"
Luckily, Hidan's other examiners were quite generous with their marks.
…
"…And although a few of the theory exam papers were remarkably…similar to others, but because we can't really figure out who copied who, you all pass regardless."
There was a general murmur of curiosity among the graduates. From his line, a few students turned and glared suspiciously at Hidan. He avoided the eyes, grinning. The principal cleared his throat, and the noise died down.
"That aside, from this day on, you are full-fledged shinobi, and will carry out missions for your village. We're counting on you, the younger generation, to keep up our reputation of excellence."
A few students scoffed. They were duly ignored.
"Now, if you could all come up one by one for your hitai-ate…"
The students lined up quickly, with some shoving. The headbands were passed out, accompanied by the token "congratulations", though the tone it was spoken in differed for each graduate.
As he sauntered down the steps from the stage, Hidan quickly tied the headband around his neck, having made up his mind where to put it months ago. The forehead didn't agree with him, and few others Hidan knew well were of the same mind as him, and had decided to disregard the 'forehead' part of 'forehead protector'.
Hidan didn't bother looking for his parents in the crowd, they were forever away on missions, the village being as short staffed as it was, and with the war on, they returned home even less. Hidan soon grew tired of standing around doing nothing, and in desperation for some form of entertainment, threw his eyes around the field in front of the academy. He did a double take on the far corner. A crate of fireworks lay foolishly unguarded a little ways from the crowd. His face broke into a wide grin and he ran to it, hurriedly taking some of the larger ones out. He tucked them under and arm and took one of the many paths out of the village square. A few seconds later, he reached the village gate, and here, he laid out his collection, supporting them on stones and bits of wood. He looked back at the academy, gauging the distance, a grin playing around his lips. Everyone here seemed so ignorant of the shinobi wars, it was time they realised what most of them would be sent out to in a few years.
One of the senseis smoked, there was sure to be matches lying around somewhere. Trying to look inconspicuous, he strolled back into the main building, making a beeline for the staff room. As all the senseis were outside, he barged in carelessly, and immediately ran into the groundskeeper, who just happened to be holding a matchbox.
"What the-?"
"Uh…Can I borrow them for a second?"
The older man looked at the matchbox, then threw him an ugly look.
"What? No! Get back outside!"
Hidan made a swipe at them, but the groundskeeper, showing shinobi like reflexes, held them behind his back. Hidan groaned.
"Don't tell me you're a ninja too! Jeez, that just complicates things so much…"
Hidan looked dejectedly to the side.
"I guess I'll just have to use that lighter instead."
The groundskeeper followed his gaze.
"What lighter?"
Hidan darted behind him and wrenched the matches from his hand. The older man spun around in shock. Hidan leaped onto the window ledge, laughing.
"I can't believe you fell for that! No wonder you got landed with groundskeeping."
The groundskeeper leered at him.
"You think you're so smart, little genin. But I didn't become a chuunin at ten for nothing!"
Hidan's grin faded when the man started furiously making handsigns.
"Aw shit."
"Katon! Fire style! Kakyuu no jutsu!"
Hidan blanched as quite a large amount of fire came his way. He ducked and dived through the window, landing safely on the grass outside. He breathed a sigh of relief, but as soon as he inhaled, he caught the smell of something burning. He glanced at the now combusting matchbox, and held it gingerly as the flames began to spread. His face lit up.
"Hey, old man, thanks for the light."
Without staying to hear the reply, he quickly ran to the gate, laughing maniacally as he spread the flame from the burning box along each of the brightly coloured rockets.
Pandemonium ensued. No one was truly prepared for what happened. Once the fireworks started invading the square, the crowds panicked. It got worse when, by utter chance, one rocket landed among the ones in the crate. There were a few casualties, but nothing an on scene medic couldn't handle. Quite a few sentries lost their jobs. The finger was pointed directly at Hidan, who had wisely scarpered before the senseis could recover from the shock.
He hadn't gone far though; he took too much pride in his causing all the panic to risk missing it. He viewed it all, highly entertained, from the safety of a nearby, very leafy tree. It pleased him to see so many of his classmates at a loss of what to do about the fireworks; some shinobi they were.
Some fireworks were still exploding loudly, filling the air with sparks and smoke, though once the crate had been disposed of the air of alarm around the place had quickly evaporated, and normality was slowly returning. He could see his search party already heading out, in completely the wrong direction, he noted with glee. The fireworks stopped as quickly as they had started, and the graduates were beginning to head home. Hidan sighed a little as the clean up commenced.
"Damn, they're getting better at handling this kind of stuff. It's not half as fun anymore."
"Spoiling your masterpiece, are they?"
Hidan almost fell off his branch. He scrambled back into a sitting position, throwing his visitor a look of utter indignation.
"Wha-? How did you-? When did you-? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Seriously, what the-?"
The dark-haired stranger's face broke into a smile at Hidan's dramatic reaction. Recognition dawned, and Hidan let his mouth hang open, aghast.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
He couldn't believe it. That freaky snake guy was back. He blinked a couple of times, but the Konoha nin remained, lazing against the trunk of the tree, only a few feet away. Hidan's less than polite welcome did nothing to discourage the stranger.
"After all the fun I had last time, I couldn't miss out on your graduation. And I wasn't disappointed. Even that incident with the groundskeeper…"
He turned to the emptying field in front of the academy, chuckling to himself. Hidan frowned.
"Don't miss much do you? Are you autopresent or something?"
"You mean omnipresent."
"Whatever."
There was a pause, and the distant chatter of the dispersing crowd drifted past them, travelling on the warm breeze.
"Hey- you didn't answer my question."
The Konoha nin raised an eyebrow; yellow eyes turning to meet the boy's wild purple ones.
"Hn. No, I'm just observant. I'm only human, unfortunately."
Hidan pulled a face.
"You're weird."
"I suppose I am."
"You're not supposed to admit it."
The man seemed to find this hilarious.
Hidan didn't retort, but started fidgeting with his new headband, making the dimming light glint off the polished metal. It caught the stranger's attention.
"Around the neck…"
His voice was low, and ponderous. Hidan glanced at him, scowling.
"What about it?"
"Is there something wrong with having your headband around your head?"
"What, you want me to look like you? Dream on."
"That's not what I implied."
"Sure it wasn't."
"You're a master in the art of sarcasm too, I see."
Hidan grinned.
"Now you're just using my own weapon against me. Hey, speaking of weapons…"
Hidan took a good look at the stranger, searching for something sharp and dangerous in his attire. The object of his fruitless search raised an eyebrow.
"A shinobi shouldn't have to rely on weapons. Jutsu are much more effective."
Hidan was unconvinced.
"Feh. Jutsu are annoying. It's so much easier just to take a swing at someone-"
The older man chuckled. Hidan continued regardless.
"-I mean, whenever my new sensei gets their rear in gear and we start going off on missions and stuff, it'll just be against wimps who'd keel over if I so much as poked them with a stick, seriously. I don't need any fancy techniques."
Hidan punctuated his statement by sticking out his tongue at his fellow tree-dweller. The stranger didn't stop smiling, evidently amused.
"Missions, missions. You're obviously looking forward to serving your village."
Hidan frowned. That came out of nowhere, he thought. He shifted and cast his eyes down.
"I don't care about the village, and I never really thought about all that servitude crap… It's just, nothing ever happens here. I want to actually do something."
"Then why are you here?"
Hidan looked at his companion, surprised by the question. He leaned back onto his branch. The sky was slowly turning red, the field below deserted. He stared at it absently. The snake guy's words had made him wonder. What did tie him to the village? Not any family ties, obviously. No one was ever here.
"I suppose I stick around because… I've nowhere else to go. It's not like I want to be here, but even if I ran off, all these hidden villages are the same. They all think shinobi are here to protect the normal people, like some bodyguard. We learn infiltration techniques and offensive stuff at the academy, but the ninja here never use them. It's all 'preserve the peace' and don't let the war near the village and all that crap. I mean, the only reason we're even fighting in the war is because we allied with people like you."
He threw at glance at the stranger.
"They've got this whole righteousness thing about being a shinobi. How you can help the community and protect the people you love. Pretty it up, so more kids'll join the academy. Feh. Shinobi aren't like that. You call ninja when you've got enemies that need getting rid of. Shinobi fight. And they kill. That's why I'd rather be out risking my neck than hanging around here."
He paused, and smirked.
"Nah, scratch that. Like I'd risk anything for this dump. I just want to get away. Go somewhere where shinobi act like shinobi, and don't try and justify it."
Hidan stopped, and let his eyes widen. Where had all that come from? He'd never actually voiced his motives for being a shinobi in such detail to a complete stranger before. This guy had a lot to answer for. Automatically, he glared at him. The Leaf nin was unfazed.
"That's an intriguing nindou. And it might interest you to know that there are-"
Hidan sat up, suddenly hanging off every word.
"There are what? Tell me already!"
The stranger looked as if he was about to continue, but then his face grew suddenly serious. He stirred from his branch, standing to look out past the academy. Hidan looked up curiously.
"I think I've been absent from the talks long enough. My fellows will start to get annoyed soon," he stated ruefully, and even Hidan could hear the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. Hidan scowled. He'd wanted to hear what crazy thing the Konoha nin was going to come out with.
"They're still going on? Jeez. What the hell is there to talk about?"
The man jumped lightly down from the tree, and after a second, turned back to Hidan.
"Frivolities. Nothing you need to worry about. Enjoy your new life as a shinobi, Hidan."
He faced forwards again, and walked across the battered field. Hidan stared after him, then realised what he had said.
"Hey!" he called, standing up on his branch, "How'd you know my name?"
The stranger laughed again.
"They called it out at the ceremony."
Hidan huffed. He inhaled deeply, and yelled out from his tree.
"That's not fair! Tell me yours! Come on, or I'll keep calling you snaky."
The shinobi waved, but didn't look back.
"Figure it out for next time."
"Asshole!"
No reaction.
"Bishi!"
Hidan could have sworn he'd seen a twitch after that one.
…
This will be a two-part story or 'two-shot'. Part 2 will be posted later on this month, hopefully. Questions, comments, and crit are all welcome.