"What's your earliest memory?"
I looked up from the load of laundry that I was preparing to shove into the washing machine and saw Donha staring at me expectantly. His eyes gleamed with childish excitement and he had a smile that spread across his entire face. When I raised an eyebrow in his direction he blushed red and scratched the back of his head. I shifted myself into a standing position and crossed my arms across my chest.
"Why do you ask?"
Donha chuckled nervously, "Well... Tori asked me the same thing the other day and it took me a while to find an answer."
I raised an eyebrow again, "What is your earliest memory Donha?"
He blinked in surprise at my question, "Uh... My earliest memory is my mom. I remember her singing to me so I would go to sleep.
In a matter of seconds Donha was lost in the world of memories, "my mom has a really gentle voice and when she sings you can't help but listen to her."
A small smile creeps up my face as Donha continued to talk about his mother. He goes on for a few more minutes and while he talks I continue with our chore. My finger had barely left the On button when Donha remembers his original goal.
"I'm getting off track." He looks at me with determination burning in his eyes, "so what's your first memory Finn?"
I shrug and he frowns.
"You can't think of anything?"
I don't say anything and he sighs. Donha was one of the few people who understand that they can't get me to say anything unless they practically force it out of me. I turn back to the washing machine and soon a stretch of silence falls over us. When I glance back up at Donha I immediately wished I hadn't. Donha's crestfallen face twisted my stomach and I was quickly overcome with guilt. Another sigh escaped my lips as I called for my fellow chaser. Donha looked up in surprise and I took a deep breath.
"My earliest memory is of my older brother." Every word that comes out of my mouth is forced through tightly clenched teeth.
Donha leans closer, "I didn't know you had a brother."
When I didn't say anything he continued, "Is he like Sena's sisters? Is that why you didn't tell us about him?"
I shake my head and Donha puts a finger to his chin, "well what does he look like?"
"He has long hair like me, but he has brown eyes like our father." I bite my lip, but Donha doesn't notice.
"How come we've never met him? Will we ever meet him? Is he a warrior? What does-?"
My body goes rigid and Donha's questions come to a halt. My face must have been extremely pale because Donha stands up and puts a hand on my forehead. I force myself to calm down and push him away.
"I'm fine..."
"If you don't like talking about your brother that's fine. I shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's all right. I don't mind talking about him... It's just been a while since anyone asked is all."
Donha laid a hand on my shoulder, "You don't have to talk anymore."
"No... I think someone else deserves to know."
Donha and I left the laundry room and entered the dining room. After making sure Sena was done mopping Donha pulled out a chair and I seated myself across from him. He waited patiently as I tried to think of where to start, after a few moments I took a deep breath and began my story.
"My father's first wife passed away when my brother was fourteen, and my father had no idea how to raise a teenager on his own. He was about to send my brother away to boarding school when he met my mother." A small smile escaped me, "It was like a fairy-tale come true for them. They fell in love, got married and a year later I was born."
Donha smiled, "we were a very happy family, but a few months after I turned five my parents died and I was left in my brother's care." The smile vanished from his face.
"He didn't want to take care of me so he dumped me off at the nearest adoption agency and ran off to join the army." I glared at my hands, "Two tigeroid soldiers adopted me a month later."
Silence fell over us like a blanket. I didn't look up at Donha, and that gave me plenty of time to question what I had just done. I'm considered the most tight-lipped person on the team and they're right. I hold secrets to my chest and never let them go… So why did I just tell Donha my entire life story? Surely the other chasers want to know about my past as well, but I never talked about it and they never asked.
"Hey Finn?" I looked up to see Donha twiddling his thumbs.
Once he confirmed that he had my attention he stopped his fidgeting and gave me a serious look, "I'm glad you told me about all this."
I didn't say anything, but Donha knew me well enough to translate what I wanted to say. He smiled for a moment before standing up and stretching his stiff limbs.
"I think the laundry's done now. We should go check on it."
Then just like that things were back to normal. Donha didn't bring up my adoption, or my parents death and for that I'm thankful. For a long time we just hung up the now clean clothes in silence. Every now and then he looks in my direction and I knew he wanted to ask me more questions, but he knew that I probably wouldn't say anything else. I was almost ready to go inside when Donha decided to speak up.
"I really hope we can meet your brother Finn."
For a second I plan to make up an excuse as to why my brother couldn't visit us, but in the end I decided that keeping my mouth shut would be a good idea. I can't tell Donha why I don't want my brother on our ship. I can't tell him the truth. I can't tell anyone the truth.
They'd hate me too much if they knew…
