Summary: She promised Dean she'd wait for him, but when he goes to her after the Apocalypse there are certain things about him that she notices and she begins to worry. She just wishes he'll tell her what's going on inside his head. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. I only own Mia Williams.

A/N: ANGST! MORE DAMN ANGST! Okay, Dean/OC, and it's going to be very sad in places. Hope you enjoy!

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I Find It Hard To Tell You

~Chapter One: I've Got You~

Castiel left him in the Impala, and he was going to keep his promise to Sam. But the chance of a normal life wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to go back to the girl who promised him that she'd wait for him. He just hoped she'd kept her promise. Five years ago, he'd met a girl in his home town of Lawrence, Kansas, who he knew that if he ever got the normal life, he'd go to. She'd made a promise that went beyond the bounds of a on night stand, that went beyond friendship.

He and Sam had been taking a break from hunting when Dean met her, a girl who he sat next to in high school for most of his lessons. He'd taken her out once or twice, and Sam had known that Dean was in love with her. Dean just didn't see it, and he didn't know he was in love with her until he entered her body for the first time. They'd slept together at her place, and Dean had known that as soon as they looked at each other when their bodies were connected, he'd fallen for her.

He'd never said that to her though. He'd just promised her that he'd come back to her one day, and she'd promised to wait for him, for as long as it took. Right now, he was passing into Lawrence, and driving towards that familiar one-storey house with the bay windows and window boxes, the white picket fence and the flower-filled front yard.

And as he came to it, he took a deep breath, fighting back tears that had been threatening to come for a long time. He parked the Impala in the driveway next to that familiar dark red mustang, the name Missouri still there, painted gorgeously on the driver's door. He headed up the porch steps, with his bag in hand, knife tucked in there along with a gun and a round of salt. The damp night air wrapped it's way coldly around him as he knocked on the door.

Mia looked up from her book, releasing her honey blonde curls that her fingers were combing through before putting her book down. Her blue eyes looked to the clock, seeing it was eleven-forty in the evening. She wondered who in the name of God could be calling at this time of night, and she edged towards the front door, opening it and seeing a familiar face on the other side. Two gorgeous green eyes bore into her blue ones, and she felt a lower lip begin to tremble as her jaw went a little slack, her dainty hand covering her mouth as the nostrils at the tip of her small, straight nose flared a little as she began to cry.

"Dean?" She asked, Dean shuffling on the spot before speaking to her, a huge lump in his throat almost preventing him from doing so.

"I'm not too late am I?" He asked with a voice full of emotion that was waiting to spill out of him, yet he saw a gorgeous smile grace Mia's face as she shook her head.

"Promised I'd wait, didn't I." She replied, Dean stepping closer and winding his arms around her which shocked her a little.

She held onto him, stroking her beautiful fingers through the hair at the back of his head, letting out a sob as he held onto her in return. The strange thing was that she heard him sob too, and she realised that whatever had brought him to her was the result of something truly horrible. She didn't want to ask, since all that had been there in his eyes was pain as she'd looked at him for the first time in five long, lonely years.

"God, Dean..." She whispered, pulling back from the embrace to wipe away his tears.

"Mia...?" He began, looking down and reaching up to cup her face before looking at her, going to wipe her eyes, "I missed you..."

"Missed you too." Mia breathed, "Come on..."

She let him inside and closed the door, locking it before turning back to him, looking deep into his eyes and pressing closer to him.

"How long are you in town?" She asked, Dean biting his lip and pulling her into him, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Back for good, babe..."

"Sam?" She asked, Dean cutting her off with a squeeze to her arms.

"Don't..." He breathed, "Don't talk about..."

"I'm sorry." She whispered, Dean shaking his head.

"Don't be." He whispered, looking deep into her eyes before pressing his lips to hers gently.

Just the feel of her lips against his own was enough to take some of the pain away that Dean had felt for so long. When she kissed back, he pulled her as close as he could, just wanting to feel that she was there...that she wasn't going to fade away like everyone else had. Breaking their kiss, they looked at each other, foreheads still pressed together before Dean told her the one thing he'd never really told anyone else.

"I love you."

Mia bit her lip and kissed Dean again, nodding and shedding another tear.

"I love you too."

Sharing a deep, loving kiss, the pair held each other, both beginning to cry again as they did. And for once, Dean didn't care that he was crying in front of someone else, that someone could see he was suffering, because he had to get things into perspective now and be a little selfish. He'd spent his whole life looking after other people and protecting other people. So, maybe he had Mia to look after and protect now, but he needed care of his own, and Mia could see that. She'd never judged him, and Dean knew that even now he was close to completely breaking in front of her, she wouldn't think any less of him or judge him for it.

"Mia..."

"Shhh...it's okay..." She whispered, "It's okay, Dean."

Another set of sobs came and Dean gripped Mia tight, desperate for the pain and the grief to just go away. Mia understood there and then how upset he really was, and how much he was hurting.

"Mia..."

"I've got you." She soothed, pressing a kiss to his temple, "I've got you."

-TBC-

Hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading so far!

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