Hubris: Beginnings

Disclaimer: I don't own the Code Geass characters so please don't sue me for borrowing them

She gagged, sucking in air through the burning in her lungs as she coughed up a mixture of phlegm and water. Blindfolded and cuffed she could do nothing to defend herself against the hands that pushed her face back under the icy water too soon for her to have taken a deep breath. Even struggling proved useless as her air deprived muscles tried to fight against the grip of her captors. Again she was brought back up out of the icy depths and again she coughed sputtering out water as she tried desperately to suck in more air. In the darkness she could feel his eyes on her, his hatred pressing down on her as if it were a tangible thing waiting to strike out against her.

"You can end this, all you have to do is tell me the truth."

Silence greeted his words as she struggled to keep herself from shivering, struggled to keep her composure beneath the weight of his hatred. She heard a frustrated click and felt those hands release her back into the icy depths. She woke shivering and spitting up phlegm and water against the tiled floor beneath her.

"Next time you stay under."

Those cruel words sent shivers down her spine, as she lay curled up on the floor gasping for air. She could hear the truth in those words, feel the spite and malice that lay curled just beneath the surface and knew that he meant those words. No matter their past, he would have his answers even if it cost her life to obtain them.

"Kill me and get it over with." She managed to choke the words past shivering lips. Rough hands gripped her arms pulling her upright as the blindfold was removed. She blinked in the sudden brightness afraid to look at what her blurry gaze was seeing. No, hatred was too soft a word – malice too kind. This man – a man who had once held her tenderly in his arms and called her name sweetly was no longer that same man. Suzaku's eyes glared down at her as he pushed her back beneath the cruel icy depths.

She woke with a scream muffled only by the fact that her throat felt raw and misused against the cool night air. She could feel the cool metal braces around her wrists and knew that she was still being held that none of it had been a nightmare. Lelouch shut her eyes against the pain welling up in her chest and bit down against the sob threatening to escape her lips. Euphie. She had hoped it was all just a dream, that somehow she would waken and discover that none of it had happened but -.

"Guilt sucks doesn't it – Lelouch?"

The sound of his voice sent shivers down her spine as she turned her head to see him sitting in a corner of the room. The look in his eyes made her want to turn away but she knew that would solve nothing. She had decided on her own that she would walk this path – she alone had pulled the trigger and for that she would face whatever the consequences would be. Even if it meant – even if that meant Suzaku would hate her forever.

"I suppose asking you nicely would be pointless, I doubt you'd give me the truth." Suzaku's gaze cut her as deeply as his words.

She wanted to hate him, to scream at him that it was his fault but the words died before they ever formed on her lips. Unable to speak she just stared at him, aware that in her current position there was nothing she could do to protect herself.

"It's funny, but I'm actually glad you won't speak. It makes what I've done all the more easier."

Something clattered to the floor as he spoke and her eyes followed the sound to find a syringe rolling against the floor. Horror froze her heart at the sight of it, its' plunger already depressed its contents probably already working its way through her system. She shook her head wanting to deny what she saw knowing full well that it was still the horrible god-awful truth. Even as her vision blurred she looked at him, begging him to tell her it wasn't true that it wasn't what she thought. His cruel gaze was her only answer as reality began to fade around her.

He watched the horror on her face slip beneath the influence of the drug as her head slipped towards her chest, her breathing evening out on its own. She brought this on herself. He waited a moment more before undoing the cuffs on her wrists. They fell limp to the bed and her head lifted somewhat at the change in position. Blank, lavender hued eyes looked up at him her pupils focusing and refocusing as she stared. A frown pressed her soft features together before recognition slowly slid back into place. The smile that lit her face was the first real smile he'd seen on her face in days.

"Suzaku?" She reached up to touch his face and he sighed leaning into her touch, a slight smile spreading across his face as he did.

"Lelouch." He whispered her name as he turned to place a kiss against her palm.

She frowned at the sound of his voice and looked around taking in their surroundings for the first time. Fear crossed her face for one brief moment and she moved closer to him. Even drugged she recognized a cell when she saw one, even one as well furnished as this. He pulled her back looking into her eyes as he did. What is she seeing?

"Where are we?" Lelouch looked up at him, those lavender hued eyes so expressive in their fear that he let himself drink it in. "Did your father get angry with us? I'm sorry Suza-."

He stopped her shaking his head as he placed a finger against her lips, "No, my father is dead Lelouch. Can you remember why you're here?"

She frowned again and he could almost see her concentrating on the memories trying to figure out what was what. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it as she shook her head, probably trying to clear the drug induced haze that clouded it. She looked around then back at him with that same questioning look in her eyes. Then he saw it, that understanding in her eyes that sent his own memories back in time. Tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled her arms in close to her chest. This was the Lelouch he wished to speak with, that gentle naive girl with the soft eyes and easy smile. The loving girl he'd come to know so very long ago before hatred and revenge had consumed her.

This Lelouch was far more powerful than the other, her meek gaze and loving figure could hold the hearts of men and sway the jealously of women. He didn't care if it was the drug, he would have done anything to protect this Lelouch. Even now he felt those protective instincts welling up inside him. The only thing that marred her appearance was the glaring symbol etched into her left eye, only that reminded him that even drugged she was still his enemy. Still – this was his Lelouch, the Lelouch he loved more than life itself and for that he would let his guard down.

"I needed to speak with you." He whispered brushing a stray strand of dark hair from her face. She frowned but nodded her head to show she understood.

"About Euphie?"

Her words hurt, but the tears in her eyes were real he could see the truth beneath them.

"I'm sorry Suzaku! I knew how much you loved her – that's why I – why I . . .." Her voice trailed off and she pulled away turning away from him as she reached up to cover her left eye, "But it went wrong – everything went wrong and I – I did – I killed Euphie."

She stopped her head lulling back as she drifted off, he could see her starting to fall deeper into the effects of the drug. His chance at answers was slipping away but he could do nothing to stop it from happening. Suzaku watched as her body relaxed into his, her breathing hitched as she reached a trembling hand towards him.

"Kill . . . me . . . Euphie . . . I'm sorry – I'm sor-."

He listened to the sound of her breathing unable to bring himself to pull away even knowing that soon the drug's effects would wear off. The door to the cell slid open and he glanced up to see Lloyd standing in the doorway his arms folded across his chest. No doubt he had listened in on their conversation, but Suzaku didn't much care to dwell on it.

"It didn't last as long as you said it would." He responded as he placed Lelouch back down and placed the cuffs once more around her wrists.

Lloyd clicked his tongue at Suzaku's tone, "I told you already, a higher dose would kill her and a weaker one would gain no effect at all. Refrain is like any other drug after all. The important thing is that it worked, to a certain degree. It's effect is different for each person but she seemed perfectly lucid enough to speak with you. Did you get the answer you were seeking?"

Suzaku looked down at Lelouch's sleeping form and shook his head, "No."

Lloyd watched him, that knowing gaze in his eyes, "A pity since she's going to be executed for inciting a rebellion against the Empire."

"I won't let that happen. Lelouch is in there still, I'm going to make a deal with his Majesty for her life." Suzaku replied when Lloyd raised an eyebrow at his words, "I'll give him the terrorist Zero in exchange for power."

"And just how does that translate into 'saving' her? You'll be handing her over to the executioners under the name of Zero."

"I'm going to save her life," He answered calmly, "By taking everything she has left from her."

No, he would save her but she would never admit that he'd done so. She would hate him, she would curse him but she would be safe. It was the only way – the only way to protect his Lelouch. Suzaku leaned over brushing his lips against hers, "Goodbye my Beloved."