Setting: Rooftop somewhere in Karakura.
Written as a script.
Orihime: I'm bored.
Ikkaku: Well then you shouldn't have come. We warned you that sentry duty would be boring.
Orihime: But I want to help!
Renji: (exchanges a look with Ikkaku.) Look, we appreciate the thought, but really, if you're going to whine all day…
Orihime: I'll be quiet, I promise! (Renji sends Ikkaku a look that clearly says, "Yeah right")
Orihime: (Everyone sits back and revels in the sounds of the city. Orihime fiddles with various accessories for a few minutes. Then…) Guys this is sooooooooo boring!
Ikkaku: Yeah, but it's got to be done. So can you just go away and leave us in peace?
Orihime: But then I'll feel bad about not helping! I'll be quiet I promise!
Renji: You better… (it is silent for about five seconds)
Orihime: Ugh! This is super boring, how can you guys do this?
Renji: (loosing his temper) That's it! If you're so freaking bored, then go somewhere else!
Orihime: (oblivious to the annoyance on her companions' faces.) But you guys are bored too right?
Ikkaku and Renji: No DUH!
Orihime: Then lets play 20 Questions!
Ikkaku: What the hell is that?
Orihime: (dreamily) The best-est game in the world!
Renji: Ok, I'm curious, how do you play?
Orihime: Someone thinks of an object or something and then everyone else gets 20 yes or no questions to try and figure it out!
Ikkaku: Sounds interesting, let's try.
With that, it begins.
Orihime: Ok, I'm thinking of an animal!
Ikkaku: Is it bigger than a Yachiru?
Orihime: Nope?
Renji: Does it fly like Hitsugaya?
Orihime: No.
Ikkaku: Is it a lowly land-grubber like Byakuya?
Renji: (nervous) Even though I agree with you I don't think you should talk about him like that. He has ways of knowing.
Ikkaku: Yeah right.
Back in Soul Society…
Byakuya: (sneezes) Renji!!!
Back in the Human World…
Ikkaku: Well Orihime?
Orihime: (confused) huh?
Renji: (whispering) You have to dumb it down for her. Say "thing-that-is-on-the-ground."
Ikkaku: (sniggering) Orihime? I meant is the animal a thing-that-is-on-the-ground?
Orihime: (light bulb appears above her head. she snaps her fingers.) Aha! And yes it is.
Ikkaku: Thank you.
Renji: Does it have fur?
Orihime: Nope.
Ikkaku: Scales?
Orihime: Nuh-uh.
Renji: Feathers?
Ikkaku: Idiot! (smacks Renji on the side of the head) If it can't fly, why would it need feathers?
Renji: Hey! And there are animals with feathers that can't fly I think. Rukia told me about a "peny-gin"? (Renji imitates a penguin for Ikkaku).
Orihime: You mean a penguin?
Renji: Yes! That's the one. And so there Ikkaku.
Ikkaku: (rolls eyes) Moving on.
Orihime: No, it is not a flightless bird.
Ikkaku: Well we're getting nowhere with the 'what's it covered in' questions. Lets try location. Is it wild like Zaraki?
Orihime: Yeah.
Renji: Now we're getting somewhere. Does it live in a place that's dry? Or a place that's wet? What about a place in the Rainforest?
Orihime: Yes, no, no.
Ikkaku: (throws a rock at Renji's head) Asshole! You wasted two questions!
Renji: (punches Ikkaku in the gut) Well we know where it lives now! Jeeze, what's your problem?
Orihime: (ignoring the chaos) You have ten questions left!
Ikkaku: Lets do this! Does it eat meat?
Orihime: Yep.
Renji: Can you find it in Africa?
Orihime: Mmhmm.
Ikkaku: Is it a hyena?
Orihime: No, hyenas have fur.
Renji: This is impossible. What doesn't have fur, feathers, or scales?
Orihime: (sweetly) Seven questions left!
Ikkaku: You're right! There can't be a solution.
Orihime: There's a solution. I promise.
Renji: I know! I know! I can't believe I didn't see it before!
Ikkaku: Spit it out!
Renji: Is it a hermaphrodite?
Orihime and Ikkaku: What's that?
Renji: (with a straight face) An animal that has both male and female- (he glances at Orihime and swiftly changes what he was about to say.)-err- parts.
Ikkaku: (cracks up)
Orihime: (doesn't seem to get it) Uh, no?
Ikkaku and Renji: (continue to crack up at Orihime's innocence.)
Ikkaku: Ah… good times… Anyways, is it a Cheetah?
Orihime: Fur.
Renji: Wildebeest?
Orihime: Not a meat-eater.
Ikkaku: Llama?
Renji: (cracks up)
Orihime: There's Llamas in Africa?
Ikkaku and Renji: uh, Sure!
Orihime: Hmmm, I didn't know that. Well it's not a Llama. I'll have to remember that for next time though…
Renji: Gosh, I have no idea. Uh, a hippo?
Orihime: Nope. And you have two questions left.
Ikkaku: I'm ready to give up. Um… a rhinoceros?
Orihime: No.
Renji: I really don't know. So, is it a hair pin?
Orihime: What?
Renji: (weakly) Well you know, your hair pins are kinda animals and they could have been to Africa once, who knows.
Orihime: No sorry. You guys loose!
Ikkaku: So what was it?
Orihime: A lion!
Renji: (choking) But a lion has fur! And you said that the animal didn't have fur!
Orihime: (defensively) But it's a baby lion.
The End
Whohoo! I had fun writing that. I hope you enjoyed this story! If you did, perhaps you could show your gratitude by reviewing? *wink*