He was laying the Transatlantic Cable. This was where that guy from boondock saints. I never saw that so I don't know his name, but I think you do. You know who you are. first saw him. He was dangerous. He was known for yelling "Sea Food" on his many hunts. But whatever the fuck his name is was a special hunter. He hunted Man. On roofs.
'I GAVE PARIS HILTON FIFTEEN polly pocket dolls" He said, demurely. It was true. He ripped off her face. I will find a hole and fuck it. If there ain't one, I will make one. Luigi doesn't take shit from anyone.
As if on cue, Snape heard "sea food" and knew it was code. He had to go do parkour, and he had to go some parkour now. Unfortunately, He had gotten Tay-Sachs from HIRMEYEOHNEE RANGER. One does not fuck with Hermione Granger. It was simply something that wasn't done. This was because she had Tay-Sachs, she got it from Snape Potter, because he was the Potions Master. To help cheer her up, he ordered heOH GOD I SPILLED COFFEE ON MY LAP ADFA ASDF;LASJFSLFJLLA;KERWHYISTHEREALWAYSPIZZAAROUNDME
"I DON'T TAKE LIP FROM A SLUT!" She screamed in pain. It was the Tay-Sachs. Whyborn, being black1, had never gotten inoculated 2against it. It was literally impossible for that to happen, for HARRY'S parents were dead. This happened quite some time ago, because Snape killed them. Well, killing them wasn't exactly true. Snape just couldn't read. So his parents killed themselves.
'HEY HARRY, REMEMBER WHEN I MURDERED YOUR PARENTS?. WASN'T THAT FUNNY?" Snape giggled.
"OH FUCK WE ARE ON LOST ISLAND. I CAN NEVER DIE" Harry 4'd.
And then they were on Lost Island. Because Snape owned it.
"what is this, I don't even" Snape said, 8ily.
"I've got a jar of dirt." Harry SIXTEEN'd as a reply. He had planned on secretly touching him in the no-no place3. "Guess what's inside it?"
"Bubuska! Do not be goink vfar. I vill be vorried! Dasvedanya!" Snape4 said FIFTEEN times.
But this was not true. Harry went onto Facebook5. He had only FORTY TWO intents. "¡haré una muñeca! Veintitrés!"
Meanwhile, Snape was escaping from the island because he had eight stitches. "Oi Vey! I am goink to be Yurodive! Matroyshka!" As he was driving down the road, he crashed into the sign.
"DAS IS NOT GUD. DAS IS UNHEIMLICH!" HE YELLED 23 TIMES. He had Tay-Sachs, and it was acting up. "DAS DYBUK IST UND KRASHED. SCHNIEDLE." Just as he was shouting the loudest, a dilophosaurus came out of nowhere, hearing his loud shouts.
It spat venom into Samuel's eyes. But it wasn't venom. The Dilophosaurus was eating fried minnows. It was grease. Pure grease. Blinded, Samuel L. Jackson ANGRILY urinated.
"BITCH" He urinated angrily.
"I'm going to run over you on the way down." While he was yelling, he also yelled from his Jeep. It had a mud snorkel so he could go mud-diving. Snape was really angry now. He had lost his glasses.
' DAS KOMPRESSOR"
But as he got into his Jeep, so did the Protoceratops. And it threw up on him. With grease.
"DAS KOMPRESSOR" HE SCREAMED PIERCINGLY, PIERCING THE NIGHT AIR WITH HIS SCREAM.
Harry was still working on the Doll when he realized something. He had to use his own hair for the doll. To sow it up. It would be GLORIOUS. He had just finished reading "The Elven Gods of the lord-kings of the Elves" and was inspired by the Texan setting set in a Texan town in the middle of Texas. He quickly finished and pulled out.
'p e t e r p a n IT IS BEING VERY GUD THAT I HAVE VOUND YOU." Snape asked.
But it wasn't p e t e r p a n at all. It was AHE.
"OH GOD, IT'S THE AUSTRO-HUNGARIAN EMPIRE." p e t e r p a n climaxed.
They had to get off the island. They built a plane out of ships. Snape hit a snag, as he answered the phone. It was the FOG BEAST. He actually existed.
"Well, how much underwear did you eat?" He asked.
The Fog beast merely existed in reply.
"that's it? Of course they'll let you on the plane! Just don't act like anything's wrong"
The Fog Beast still existed.
"No they ain't gonna know just by lookin' in your eyes! Act normal, and get on the damn plane! We need to get off this island" Samuel L. Jackson yelled.
Todd had a nasty coke habit, and wasn't convinced. He had a plan. This was Todd. This is what he did. He planned. And planned very well. He was Todd.
"HEY! Ain't no stewardess gonna hear it digestin' in you, Todd! LISTEN TO ME! HEY!
DO….DO NOT CUT IT OUT OF YOU! NO ONE CAN HER UNDERWEAR ONCE IT'S INSIDE OF YOU! THE PAVI6! THE PAVI!"
1 Black People also can't swim.
2 He was going to shit out his organs.
3 WHO THE FUCK IS MEG AND WHY DO I CARE ABOUT HER FUCKING EYES.
4 Dasvedanya is Ukrainian. It means "To Dasvedanya" or "one who Dasvedanya". It's a term of endearment said from son to mother.
5 Harry wouldn't know what dasvedanya means because he has no mother. Hermione Murdered Her.
6 She gave himself an stomachectomy with the sharp corners of the seats.