Okay, so I was COMPLETELY devastated about Fred's death so I just had to write a fic to get my feelings out. This one's probably going to be really angst-y and depressing, so if you don't like then don't read, okay? I hope you do like it though! Enough of me rambling on! Enjoy the fic (and I hope it doesn't get you down too much!)!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J. (What. A. Genius.)
I turned over in my bed once again, unable to sleep. Every time I shut my eyes Fred's face flashed across my mind, sometimes the usual cheeky grin lighting up his face, sometimes sprawled on the floor of a Hogwarts corridor, eyes staring without seeing and the ghost of a smile etched upon his face.
I couldn't get him out of my head since three days earlier, at the Battle of Hogwarts. I sighed knowing that I was in for another sleepless night. I sat up, head spinning when I did, and hugged my knees to me for a moment before pulling the sheets back and climbing out of bed.
I padded downstairs, not wanting to wake the others. I wandered into the kitchen even though I didn't want to eat. I hadn't wanted to at all since Fred had died, coincidentally completely shocking Hermione. I wondered if she'd ever seen me not wanting to eat. Probably not.
At the kitchen table sat a tall figure, shoulders shaking as if he was feeling the greatest and most unbearable pain in the world. He was clutching a blue jumper to him, and I had the strongest feeling that it had the letter F knitted on the front.
"George…" I whispered, my voice wobbling.
He turned to face me, and what I saw made me feel like someone had punched me in the chest.
His mouth was sloping downwards, his bottom lip wobbling uncontrollably. His face was ghostly white and soaked with tears. His eyes where glistening, filled with an unbearable sadness.
As I took in the sight, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and a lump form in my throat.
"Why him? Why..why.." He murmured.
I stared at him, worried and scared. His eyes were staring at me, glassy, almost as if he wasn't quite taking in what he was seeing. He rocked back and forth and it seemed as though he was on autopilot.
I got my act together as best I could. As difficult as it was, I had to stay strong, for George's sake. I walked over and bent down next to him, resting my hands on one of his shoulders. His shaking was surprisingly strong.
"I don't know how to do it without him…" he murmured, eyes still staring glassily at the spot where I had stood moments before.
"Hey…mate…this isn't what Fred would have wanted." I knew I was being hypocritical but I kept speaking. "He would have wanted you to get on with life, even without him there. Do him proud, George! Show you're really as strong as you make out to be!"
He just shook his head.
"But…I can't! I don't know what to do…"
I straightened up. I realised he was pretty much in consolable right now. Plus, I needed to get out of there before I burst into tears myself, which would not help at all.
"Just… keep on living, mate." I told him.
I patted him gently on the shoulder, hoping he'd be all right by himself, and walked briskly out of the room.
I only got up to the second floor, the floor where Hermione was staying, when I broke down.
I turned round, back to the wall, and slammed my head into it in frustration. Tears rushed like rivers down my cheeks and I squeezed my eyes tight shut. I agreed with George. Why Fred? A sob ripped from my throat. This pain…it was indescribable.
I heard a door open with a click but I still didn't open my eyes. If anything I squeezed them shut even tighter. I just wanted to block out everything and everyone. Just forget everything for a little while.
It was only when a small hand slipped into mine that I opened my eyes. The image was a little blurry thanks to the tears but I could still tell who it was. Hermione.
She tugged on my hand and headed towards her room, dragging me behind her. She shut the door behind her and went over to her bed, still pulling me along by the hand. She flopped onto the bed and pulled me down with her. It was when she pulled me into a tight hug, with me resting my face in the crook of her shoulder, that I really lost composure.
I sobbed into her shoulder, trying to keep quiet but failing fairly miserably. She hushed me and stroked the hair at the nape of my neck. I clutched her, wanting to pull her closer.
"Hermione…" I gasped. "Why does it hurt so much?"
She shuddered in my arms and attempted to pull me closer to her as I was doing to her.
"I know, Ron, I know. It'll get better, I promise, just stay strong. Please. Please. Please." She kept repeated the word 'please' getting quieter each time until it trailed off to the tiniest whimper of despair.
Suddenly, anger joined the grief and despair, not quite replacing it, but almost. I was angry with the world for letting all this destruction happen, and angry at myself, for not being able to comfort George, for letting Fred die, for causing Hermione so much worry, and sadness and pain. For never being good enough.
I pulled back from her and wound my fingers into her hair. I slammed my lips onto hers forcefully. Tears still poured down my cheeks, mostly silently now except for the occasional gasp.
I poured everything into that kiss, all my anger, frustration, loss, despair. Everything. I kissed her until I felt drained of all emotion, just numb and empty. I pulled back and stared into her chocolate brown eyes, stroking her hair gently. She grasped my hands in hers again and stared back into my glistening blue eyes.
"It'll all be okay, in the end." She told me.
At that moment I wasn't so sure.
I just wanted my brother back.
Wow. That came out way more depressing than I originally meant it too…Oh well. I'm really proud of this fic and I think it's probably one of my best ones. But I don't know unless you R&R so pleeeeeaasseee do! I beg you! Thanks so much for reading!
R.I.P - FRED WEASLEY