I Know the Feeling of Alone
~Disclaimer: I do not own Nuriko nor Hotohori (damn…ponders about paying Yuu Watase for Hotohori's copyrights), and I couldn't find the song's title, but it's the 9th track on the City of Angels soundtrack.~
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You've got such a pretty smile.
It's a shame the things you hide behind it.
From a distance, what appeared to be a beautiful young
woman, a Suzaku seishi stared at a lonely man. He was leaning on the maroon
railing a few steps from his balcony door. He sighed, as he gazed into the
sunset, daydreaming some fantasy of a girl, Suzaku no Miko.
Let 'em go, give it up for a while.
Let 'em free and we will both go find it.
He turned around, stopping short of Nuriko who had snuck
up behind him, eyes widening.
"Nuriko…what
are you doing here?" the young emperor questioned having his peace disturbed so
suddenly. The purple haired seishi looked into his golden eyes thoughtfully and
replied,
"I
saw that you were lonely…I figured maybe you wanted to talk to someone." The
seishi then turned and looked away, remembering his sister, while thinking, I know exactly what he's going through…I wish he would
open up to me…
A
slightly startled Nuriko turned once again, feeling the emperor's hand on his
shoulder. It saddened him to see such pain in such beautiful eyes. Hotohori
whispered,
"Thanks…Nuriko."
The seishi smiled.
I know there's nowhere you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
I know that you do not feel invited.
But come back; come back in from the cold.
"Tell me what's bothering you, your majesty." Nuriko said,
while walking over to the railings. He looked out into the reddish sunset.
Hotohori still faced the other direction, looking down, and feeling rather
depressed. He quickly regained his composure and answered calmly as usual, "Oh
nothing Nuriko. Thank you for your concern." The purple haired seishi wouldn't
stand for that reply. He wanted some sort of reasonable answer. He wanted the
truth…even though he already knew it. Miaka had fallen for Tamahome and that
was that…nothing could change it. He thought it was so stupid that Miaka had
decided not to return the emperor's love…especially after all the sacrifice the
man had put himself through. All the maidens of His Majesty's Inner Court were
jealous, being that they were ignored continuously through all those years.
Even he himself was jealous slightly, but he had gotten over it, well mostly.
Nuriko once again remembered his sister and thought how he miserably failed to
some little brunette girl from another world. He frowned at having lost his
sister, and now his chance at Hotohori. All at once it seemed to him. Just like
it seemed to Hotohori. All at once the emperor had also lost Miaka…and to some
peasant living in the street. Pathetic.
Step away then, from the edge.
Your best friend in life is not your mirror.
Back away, come, back away, come, back away…
It was getting a little colder outside, and the emperor
wanted to return to his chambers. He turned slightly and said quietly to
Nuriko, "I'm going to go to my chambers, goodnight." He then bit
his lip thinking his tone was too bitter. He quickly apologized and started off
to leave…
"Wait, Hotohori-sama." Said Nuriko in a sharp, yet still
loving voice. He remained at the railings, focused on the fading sunset. A few
stars were beginning to shine in the darkening sky. Hotohori stopped and
chocked out, "I really must go."
I am here and I will always be forever and ever and…
I know there's nowhere you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
Trust me and don't keep that in the inside.
Soon you'll, you'll be blocked out on your own.
You're not alone.
Then Nuriko turned quickly, reaching out, and carefully
but firmly, grabbed the emperor's hand. The daring seishi cried out, "Do you really? Sometimes, Your majesty, you have to talk
things through…with a friend, with someone-anyone! I have always watched you
from a distance, behind bushes and walls, trying to figure out the reason why
you stayed alone. And now that I know the reason, you back away…you don't think
I don't feel it too, do you? I have devoted myself to you from the moment I
first decided to take the place of my sister…but you failed to see me."
Hotohori's eyes widened in extreme shock, first looking
at Nuriko's grip, then at the seishi; Nuriko's voice was so…so serious. It left
him at a loss of words. Nuriko continued, "And even if you don't love me, I
will always continue to love you, and care about you…Your Majesty." Hotohori
was dumbfounded with Nuriko's confession. All he could say was a soft whisper
of the seishi's name…
You're not alone.
And don't say it never gets old; I'll be here with you 'till we grow old.
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From the Author Thanks to everyone who read this! I hope you enjoyed it! I heard the song from the City of Angels Soundtrack (#9) and I thought it fit well for Nuriko and Hotohori. Please, send your comments to pinky@n-jcenter.com Thanks!