+++ I've been sick the better part of the last three weeks and so I decided to spend my time re-watching ALL of Game of Thrones and well...this happened. I'm actually really happy with this fic and how it's being laid out and how long the chapters are. Needless to say I am taking my time in writing this baby and it will have elements of both the show and the books in it, as well as covering all seasons from one to seven which I am currently in the middle of {and sobbing needlessly because we only have ONE episode left til the end of season seven...}.
Be gentle on me as this is my very first GoT/ASoIaF fic, I'm using internet sites to help me when it comes to some things because I'm not all-knowing {or all remembering} when it comes to the lore of the show. There will be no pairings between an OC and a canon character either but there will be an OCxOC pairing which I hope isn't too bad. All in all, please be gentle with me, I have no beta. If you find something that is wrong, please feel free to PM me and assist in fixing it.
All rights belong to GRRM.
Enjoy +++
Full Summary:
I am a wolf. Quietly, I will endure. Silently, I will suffer. Patiently, I will wait. For I am a warrior and I will survive. Elaelys is the twin sister to Jon Snow and the bastard daughter of Eddard Stark, however despite it all, she is a true Stark at heart. She doesn't know much in the way of the world outside Winterfell, so when she suddenly finds herself pulled into a dangerous game of politics and shadow plots, Elaelys realizes that she must do all that she can to survive no matter the cost.
One
I am a wolf. Quietly, I will endure. Silently, I will suffer. Patiently, I will wait. For I am a warrior and I will survive.
When she was a child, her sleep was plagued endlessly with nightmares of unspeakable horrors, horrors that she had never seen nor heard of but still the terror would paint her dreams in a vivid shade of red. The screams of the dying would rip her out of her slumber, her own cries the only sign of the savagery that her subconscious mind had decided think of at that time. Many times, during her childhood, Elaelys Snow, bastard daughter of Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, would soon find herself scared to do anything that would require her to sleep.
There wasn't much value in being a bastard. Elaelys' twin brother, Jon, born a full ten minutes before her, at least had value. He was a man, after all, and the Seven Kingdoms always had use for men, even those of the bastard variety. Elaelys was at a slight disadvantage compared to her brother; she was a girl and she was a bastard. Despite this, her father always seemed to see something inside her that she could not. With each nightmare, each time Elaelys was ripped from her sleep, too afraid of even her own shadow, Eddard Stark would carry his tired person from his bed and the arms of the ever-patient Lady of Winterfell with the intention of helping his bastard child sleep.
Elaelys loved those moments that she spent with her father. It was just him and her with nothing to come between those private moments, she'd even come to suspect that despite his tiredness, her father loved them just as much as she did. As Elaelys grew alongside her twin brother and first-born Robb Stark, more and more editions came to the family first with the arrival of Sansa, a beautiful baby girl with hair as red as the fire, and then came three more little wolves. Elaelys was only ten when she came to learn what being a bastard truly meant.
At first the words cut deep, especially when they came from a woman like Catelyn Stark. Elaelys has seen her on many occasions show nothing but kindness and compassion to her own children but when it came to her husband's bastard twins, her kindness turned into anger and rage. She would come to understand why as the years went by but it helped Elaelys come to the decision to wear her status with pride whilst simultaneously wearing it around her like an impenetrable shield.
Elaelys never thought of herself as majorly useful, she couldn't sew or wear dresses with pride like Sansa or sing if her life depended on it, she couldn't keep her mouth shut when it came to offering her own opinion and according to Septa Mordane, Elaelys was more like a lanky boy then she was a girl. Since Elaelys and Jon were so close in age to Robb, the eldest Stark boy, it was very common to see the three of them running around Winterfell covered in mud where Elaelys was commonly mistaken for a boy. Time and time again Septa Mordane had tried and was currently failing at turning her into a proper young lady. When Elaelys discovered the bow, all bets were off, and considering how good she was at using it, it was incredibly hard to get the weapon out of her hand so eventually Eddard just gave up and let her continue to learn it as long as she attended her lady's lessons as well. A little bribery never hurt anyone.
As Elaelys grew, there wasn't as much pressure on her to be a proper lady like there was with Sansa or any other girl of noble breeding. She guessed it was one of the reasons why she was able to get away with so much and despite Arya wanting to be just like her, the girl was always knocked back by her parents. Sometimes it would dig into her heart that Jon seemed to fit so well and she was always on the outside looking in…
But it seemed like the Old Gods were smiling on both her and Jon, their blessing came in the form of a rare gift that some would say rightfully belonged to only that of a Stark, but the twins simply proved them wrong. Elaeys could remember it so fondly and so well that it only seemed like yesterday that she was chosen by Laenyx and Elaeys had never had a more loyal companion.
Upon seeing the direwolf pups for the first time, Elaeys was full of mixed feelings when she saw that there was seven pups but only five Stark children, it was almost like the universe was telling her that she and Jon were true Starks no matter what. Elaeys was the first to kneel on the floor in front of the litter of direwolf pups that Robb and Jon had deposited in the centre of the floor for each of the Stark children to look at. Sansa had a look of absolute disgust on her face, like someone had waved something rotten under her nose, Ayra was positively beaming but appeared slightly afraid to make a move. So Elaeys knelt to their level and extended her hand out, waiting to see which of the pups would make their first move.
There were seven direwolf pups in total, all various colours and sizes; the pure white pup, the smallest of the litter, seemed to have developed a fondness for Jon and was currently hiding behind his legs but occasionally would peek out to see what the rest were doing. Elaeys winked at her twin before turning her attention back to the task at hand. One of the pups with its fur as black as the night and ice blue eyes eventually separated from its siblings and came over to Elaeys, it sniffed her hand gingerly before licking on of her outstretched fingers and finally nuzzling into her hand altogether.
Elaeys beamed triumphantly and picked up the pup whilst Robb made eyes at her, like he'd already claimed the blackest of the litter. Elaeys named her pup Laenyx and he went everywhere with her. Together the Starks and the twins were allowed to keep the direwolf pups but Eddard had one condition: they had to train them, feed them and if they died, they would bury them. The upkeep of the direwolf pups were entirely theirs and theirs alone. Elaeys stroked Laenyx's fur as she carried him out of the hall and up to her quarters with the intention of making him a nice pile of clothes to sleep in.
When the news reached Winterfell of the passing of Jon Arryn, Hand of the King, it also came hand-in-hand with the rumour that Robert Baratheon, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, was riding north with every intention of asking the Warden of the North to be his new Hand. Elaeys had her doubts that it would make Lady Stark happy considering what her husband had already given up in the name of Robert Baratheon but she also equally knew that like a loyal subject, her father would go to King's Landing. It was all just a matter of time really.
Unfortunately, it wasn't just the king that was coming to Winterfell; he was bringing the entire royal family with him. Elaeys had heard the rumours, even way up North she'd heard them, the queen, Cersei, was apparently a very beautiful woman but full of anger and spite and incredibly manipulating, manners which she had passed down to the heir to the throne, Prince Joffrey. According to the rumours, Joffrey was bordering upon being a psychotic little demon so Elaeys had every intention of stay far, far away from the entire family when they arrived. Which suited Lady Stark just fine. No member of the royal family or the Lannister's would have wanted a bastard in their presence let alone two but when the royal party arrived at the Keep, Elaeys and Jon had to be there as per their father's orders.
Since the news had come to Winterfell that the King and practically the entire population of King's Landing were coming up North, Eddard Stark had pulled out all the very best for his old friend, the need to impress him and his family was great no matter the cost to House Stark. The Stark children stayed well out of their father's way as he rushed about to get everything ready and perfect. When the day came for the Baratheon's to arrive at Winterfell, the Keep had never been as busy as it was today. There wasn't much that anyone could do to make the place as shiny as King's Landing but everyone from the lowliest servant to the highest noble was doing their very best to make sure everything was perfect.
Well…not everyone…Elaeys was hiding in the hay loft above the barn from the combined efforts of Lady Stark and Septa Mordane to turn her into a respectable young woman. The only dead giveaway to her position was Laenyx, the growing direwolf was incredibly noticeable and very, very loyal when it came to his mistress. Since he couldn't come up, Laenyx was laying down the bottom of the ladder, so when Jon came looking for her in a huff with Ghost following him, he knew exactly where his twin sister was. "Lady Stark is going to throw a fit when she finds you up there Elaeys," Jon told her in a matter of fact tone, one that dripped with annoyance and amusement at the same time.
Elaeys stuck her head over the edge of the loft rather timidly and smile from ear-to-ear, her pale eyes danced with mischief whilst her features read annoyed. "I'm a political prisoner Jon, I'm simply hiding from my enemies for they come in great numbers."
Jon rolled his eyes at her. "Elaeys it's just a dress and it's only for a couple of hours! You are not going to die!" He shook his head at the dramatic tone Elaeys was displaying. "Come down Elaeys and you can come hunting with me tomorrow morning." Just like their father, Jon knew that bribing Elaeys with something she wanted to do was sometimes the way to get her to do something that she didn't want to do. Jon smiled softly when Elaeys reluctantly climbed down the loft ladder and brushed the hay off the dress she was wearing. He reached out and pulled a stray bit of straw from her hair and chuckled. "The septa is looking for you, wants to braid your hair. Best be off."
Elaeys groaned and muttered under her breath as she left the stables, Laenyx following close behind her. She made her way through the servants and guards before eventually heading inside where she found Septa Mordane in Sansa's room with Arya and Catelyn, all three getting ready for the arrival of the royal family. Elaeys curtsied. "Sorry my lady, Septa Mordane." She didn't offer an excuse for where she had been but instead took her place on the chair before the old Septa took a brush to her thick, dark curls. Elaeys held in every wince and groan of pain as the old woman smoothed out every tangled knot of hair and tightly braided her hair back.
"Get changed, Elaeys!" Catelyn ordered as she held out an ice blue dress to match to Elaeys' figure. "Into that and put your cloak on, hurry up!" She shoved the dress into the girl's hands and practically brushed her aside as she moved to Sansa. "What's that look for?" Catelyn asked her daughter.
"I wanted to wear that!" Sansa pouted as she glared daggers at Elaeys as she slipped out of the clothes she was wearing. "The blue is so beautiful mother. I want to wear it." She shouted out in pain when Arya punched her in the arm. "Arya!" she snapped in anger.
"I think it looks better on Elaeys," Arya declared, winking at her sister when the dress was finally over her head. "It suits her eyes." Elaeys mouthed her thanks to Arya and pulled at the sleeves to find how snugly the dress fit.
"Your father paid for that for Elaeys," Catelyn told Sansa as she fixed a stray hair on Sansa's head. "It was a gift for her. Now all of you hurry up or we're going to be late!"
Elaeys wouldn't lie, she felt a little smug knowing that her father had paid for this just for her. Plus, it gave her a little something to gloat over when Sansa was being her typical pain in the ass self. Just yesterday Elaeys and Jon had heard rumour that the king had intended Joffrey and Sansa to marry and cement the gap between the two houses through marriage, Elaeys on one hand, did not want to lose Sansa because there were moments where the girl could be kind. On the other hand, though, she would be eager to help Sansa pack. The thought of Joffrey and Sansa marrying made Elaeys wonder what exactly was in store for her and what plans her father had in his head that involved his bastard children.
The noise was almost deafening when the king finally reached the Gates of Winterfell. A troop of men coming side by side where the first of the Baratheon bannermen to come swarming into the Keep like scurrying ants. The black Baratheon stag on a field of gold made Elaeys think back to the dead stag and direwolf where her brothers had found their companions, it almost felt like a warning of some kind but she brushed it off and kept her eyes on the incoming royal party.
Both Jon and Elaeys stood behind the line of Starks in among other members of the northern household, all of the Stark Children where there…well almost all of the children. "Where is Arya?" Catelyn demanded to know when she realised that her youngest girl was off hiding or doing whatever it was that Arya did. "Sansa, where is your sister?!"
Sansa glanced around before turning her gaze back to her parents and shrugged as if to say she didn't know. Before anymore words could be spoken, Arya suddenly dashed in front of both of her parents like she was on fire and looking for her place in line. Just as she paced her parents, Eddard snatched out his hand and brought her to a stop. "Hey! Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing with that?" He took the helm off that Arya was wearing and beckoned for her to take her place in the line.
Elaeys taped Arya on the shoulder as she pushed herself in between Bran and Sansa, shaking her head to tell the girl to be on her best behaviour. Arya winked at Elaeys and turned to watch the continual stream of men coming into the Keep wearing the sigil of the royal house. They all looked the same to Elaeys as she stood in her place, watching the parade (well it was more like showing off really). When the prince came riding in on his steed, Elaeys couldn't help but snigger at the little show that Sansa was putting on (apparently, she'd also heard the rumours of a possible marriage between the two houses). She rolled her eyes and laughed a little, earning an elbow in the ribs from Jon who shook his head at her.
"What?" Elaeys whispered. "I'm on my best behaviour, Jon." She turned her focus back onto the parade as an elegant royal carriage rode through the gates followed by the king on his mount. That was King Robert? Elaeys thought as she eyed the man, he had certainly let himself go over the years and put on a lot of weight as well. When the king dismounted, practically the entire court fell to their knees and bowed in respect as he approached at an eager pace.
Eddard quickly rose to his knees followed by the rest of the Keep and he bowed his head in respect for his old friend and king of the land. He eyed the King just as much as Robert eyes him before finally speaking. "Your Grace."
Robert looked Eddard over like he was something new to study, his upper lip curling a little. "You've got fat." Elaeys almost laughed loudly at that, like he was one to talk. There was a tense moment of silence between the two men whilst the residents of Winterfell waited for their lord to make a comeback…only Eddard simply raised an eyebrow in a knowing manner before Robert started laughing and embracing his old friend.
"Cat!" Robert boomed, turning his attention to the Lady of Winterfell. He enveloped her in a hug. The two of them exchanged their pleasantries before the king started to move down the line of Stark siblings, take a moment of his time to comment on each of them, something which Sansa seemed to be ultimately thrilled about, especially when the king called her pretty. When Robert passed Elaeys and Jon, he paused for a moment and stared at the two before turning his attentions solely on Elaeys like he had seen her before and was trying to place where he's done so. The intense look he was giving her made Elaeys feel uncomfortable, so much so that she shifted on the balls of her feet and hiding a little behind Jon, wanting the attention off her as much as possible.
She let out a sigh of relief when the queen decided to make her appearance. It was true what they said, Cersei Lannister was certainly a very beautiful woman even in her older years. Although there was this deadly air about her that made Elaeys want to act with caution…all of the Lannister's had it and it was more apparent when Jaime Lannister removed his helm, his golden hair mirroring that of the queen.
None of the Stark family had more than a moment to address the queen before the king's booming voice filled the courtyard. "Take me to your crypt! I want to pay my respects!" he declared, eyes flickering over to Elaeys and back before anyone would notice. The man, of course, was talking about Lyanna Stark, the woman that had been promised to the king before Cersei ever was.
"We've been riding for a month, my love," the queen spoke, voicing her extreme dislike at the request in the politest way possible. "Surely the dead can wait." When the king brushed her words off and departed with Eddard, Cersei all but trudged back to her twin brother looking humiliated and incredibly pissed off.
She spoke few words to her twin as a younger man approached the two Lannister's, his golden hair and the lion decorating his red and gold armour painted him as a Lannister and despite Elaeys's best intentions not to notice, he was rather intimidatingly breathtaking. The young woman's eyes were firmly stuck on him and her look had not gone unnoticed, both Jon and Robb appeared to have seen her take an interest in a member of the opposite sex for the first time in her life. Her look of interest suddenly and quickly turned to one of cold disdain the moment the young lion realised that he was being watched and looked up to meet her gaze.
Elaeys quickly looked down at the ground, her cheeks turning bright red in colour as Arya prattled on about that being Jayse Lannister, the youngest son of Tywin Lannister with an age difference of almost twenty-year difference between the eldest twins and himself. According to gossip, it was only ever gossip up here in the North, Jayce was the last ditched effort that Tywin Lannister had at getting the son he so wanted. With Cersei married to the King and Jaime Lannister in the Kingsguard, where he was unable to marry or inherit Casterly Rock, and before Jayse came along, the heir to the Lannister name was Tyrion Lannister, who because of his status as a dwarf, was not a favourite of the current head of the family. All his hopes apparently rested on Jayse.
"One word from you Jon and I will slit your throat in your sleep!" Elaeys declared just moments before the welcoming party was dismissed. She glared at Jon, her cheeks still burning red before she marched off, feeling utterly embarrassed and in search of Laenyx so she could hide before the nights festivities could begin.
Elaeys kicked a stone with her booted foot and sighed as she watched the object sail across the yard, eventually coming to a stop by the wall near the archery targets. Being called a bastard usually didn't faze her but hearing the words come from Robb's lips cut deep. The Baratheon's or the Lannister's do not want a bastard in their midst…translation…Catelyn did not want the twins there. The fact that she had Robb deliver the message cut deeper than most cuts would. She picked up her bow and notched an arrow before letting loose, the bolt hitting the targe dead centre. "Fuck the Baratheon's and fuck the Lannister's!" she hissed, launching another arrow to split the first in two.
"I'd say good shot but you just insulted my family." Elaeys glanced to the left to see an unfamiliar blond head of hair standing there watching her with an amused glint in his hazel eyes. Jayse Lannister stepped out of the shadows and came up beside her. "Your technique is very impressive, where did you learn how to do that?"
Elaeys shrugged. "My technique is my own but I did have a number of tutors to assist me along the way, Lord Lannister." She lowered her bow and turned to face him, the dark hiding the red crawling up her cheeks. "Please forgive my outburst…I am not in my right mind." Well she was, but she figured it was probably best to apologise anyway.
The youngest Lannister studied her and chuckled as he shook his head. "Don't worry about it, my family can be a little intense. Why aren't you at the party?" Jayse inquired curiously. "Come to think of it, neither is your brother. You should be there with your family. And please, call me Jayse, Lord Lannister is my father."
She laughed outright. "Really? Wow you aren't like the rest of the lions, are you," Elaeys stated. "I'm a bastard, Jayse," she reminded him, putting extra emphasis on his name and drawing out the S, "and the Baratheon's and the Lannister's do not want a bastard in their midst."
Jayse cocked an eyebrow. "And who said that?" he asked her. "Did anyone ask or did they just assume that no one would want the pleasure of your company, Lady Stark?" He turned his head to the side and studied Elaeys like she was a new species there to study.
"Lady Stark?" Elaeys quoted, eyes widening in a mixture of humour and horror, both looks together made quite the comical mix. "Lady Stark? By the Gods, the real Lady Stark would have a field day if she heard you call me Lady Stark." Elaeys tucked her bow over her arm and sighed. "My brother, Robb…he told me and Jon…most likely he was just delivering a message from his mother. It really doesn't bother me Jayse."
"Nonsense," Jayse smiled softly. "Return your bow to your room, Lady Stark and I would be honoured if you would have one dance with me." Seeing the look on her face, he grinned from ear to ear. "You do dance, don't you?" he asked.
Elaeys shook her head. "I am terrible at it, or so I am told. I don't attend my lessons very much." She watched him, internally wondering why she was telling him so much. It as a strange feeling but Elaeys felt rather comfortable with the youngest Lannister despite the fact there was a deep cunning in his eyes. "Forgive me, but I must decline your invitation."
It appeared that Jayse would not take no for an answer. He took the bow from around her arm and place it among the rest before putting his arm around her. "Nonsense, Lady Stark. And you, being a bastard, has no effect on me whatsoever. I may be a Lannister but father always makes sure to tell me that I have mother's baring. Her name was Arenna Greenfield, she died giving birth to me."
"I did not know that," Elaeys confessed. "I never knew my mother, only that she and father had a relationship when he was away at war against the Mad King." She bit her lip and looked at the lion, "I wouldn't want you to get into trouble with your family, Jayse."
Jayse laughed a little and practically pulled her back inside, the action itself making Elaeys wonder if he actually got a kick out of going against what was expected of his family. Maybe the rumours were wrong about the youngest Lannister, maybe he really was kind of heart, but Elaeys could only guess and make assumptions just like everyone else. "You know what…I don't particularly care," he told her when they finally got to the dining hall where the celebration was being held.
Cersei shot Jayse and Elaeys the single most withering and spiteful glare as soon as she noticed her brother with the bastard girl but her brother didn't seem to take any notice of it. The queen turned her gaze to her brother and silently demanded that Jaime do something only he shook his head and looked back at the king. "Husband-" she started to speak only for Robert to laugh. "What is so funny, my love?" she asked him.
"Let the boy have his fun," Robert told her before he shoved food in his mouth. "He's not hurting anyone. More wine!" the king declared, slamming his goblet on the table and beckoning over a servant for more drink.
Cersei glared at Jaime once more and her brother finally sauntered over to see what she wanted. "Make sure Jayse does nothing stupid otherwise father-"
"Will curse him and forgive him before patting him on the head for a job well done," Jaime cut her off. "Maybe even buy him a new horse. But if I must, I will make sure it goes no further than dancing, your majesty." He bowed respectfully and made his way over to his little brother with the intention of watching and monitoring his every move.