A/N: So, I went on a filling spree with the Anything Goes Meme that began in May in the LJ community Naruto-Meme (http:/naruto-même(dot)livejournal(dot)com/), and since the following meme has just begun, I decided I'd post the result. I modified some details sometimes to make sure the fics were coherent. This is a series of unconnected oneshots.

FILL 1

Prompt: Naruto tutoring Sasuke. Naruto tutoring Sasuke in any kind of subject (something like math maybe?) wherever it be because Sasuke is failing the subject or just because he is OCD and wants perfect score and Kakashi pushes him towards Naruto, whatever you like but I feel like reading one where Naruto is smarter-even if it's only one subject- thanks!

Fill: Fûinjutsu in n-Lessons

Charakters: Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi and some Sakura

Pairings: None, or Sasu/Naru if you squint really really hard

Warnings: Futurefic following the hypothesis that Sasuke comes back to Konoha one day. Ridiculousness. Unbeta-ed because of how the meme works.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: Fûinjutsu – otherwise known as sealing techniques. Sasukes wants to learn more about it. Naruto has kick-ass genetics. It all works out in the end.

Fûinjutsu in n Lessons

"I want to know more about fûinjutsu."

Kakashi, who acted a little bit too much like the teacher he'd been so long ago, like he hadn't been ready to kill him not so long ago, raised his one visible eyebrow without glancing up from his ever present book.

"And?" was all he asked, entirely unconcerned.

"And I can't find a damn scroll about the most basic seal in the library," Sasuke bit out, already out of patience.

"Ah," Kakashi replied very intelligently, then turned a page.

"Don't tell me it's another one of the restrictions I'm being put under in the name of probation," the young Uchiha seethed.

"Well, why would you want to add sealing techniques to your arsenal, I wonder?" Kakashi asked, slowly raising his dark eye toward his former student, and in it was a serious wariness that wouldn't have been there had Sasuke still been twelve.

"I..." Sasuke found himself hesitating and lifting his hand to cover the junction of his neck and shoulder, where a cursed mark had been. "I need to know about aftereffects," he finally said. Itachi might have sucked Orochimaru right out of his body, it had been there for years, and Sasuke didn't want to end up fighting off unexpected consequences at the worse of times several years down the road.

"I see," Kakashi said with a nod, but didn't offer any kind of help.

Sasuke fumed for a whole minute before he managed to abate enough of his pride in order to say: "You tried to counter the curse seal with another one. The Fourth had taught you. You can teach me."

Unexpectedly, Kakashi let his eyelids curve upwards like he did to indicate he was smiling. "Key word being 'tried'," he replied, then went on before Sasuke had the time to retort: "I'm flattered you still have such a high regard for my abilities, though."

There was no mistaking the sarcasm in his tone.

"But," he then said, "many things have changed since then." Trust him to remind Sasuke of how much he'd missed with his past choices and actions. "I'm far from being the fûinjutsu specialist these days."

Sasuke frowned. He knew Kakashi had never specialized in sealing techniques. But he also knew that the last person whose knowledge had been greater was resting at the bottom of a lake, courtesy of Pain.

"What aren't you telling me?" he gritted between his teeth, not liking the spark glinting in his former teacher's eye.

"You're lucky, Naruto came back from his mission last night," the man answered. "Or very early this morning, depends on how you look at it. You won't have any trouble finding him."

Sasuke felt his angry frown morph into one of puzzlement. "Naruto?"

What had the idiot done this time? And what had it to do with...

"Oh, look at that. An old lady in need of help to carry her groceries. Duty is calling."

And with that, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Damn it.

"Is someone dead?"

Sasuke sneered at the question that tumbled out of Naruto's lips after five solid minutes of stunned staring, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, probably not," his former teammate went on, threading a hand through the mess he called hair. "You wouldn't bother."

It looked like Naruto had barely taken the time to take off some clothes before crashing and had been out like a light until Sasuke had come knocking at his door. The Uchiha took the time to think that the mission he'd been on might have been exhausting and that he might not have had a whole night of sleep in days... then shrugged these useless considerations away.

He was here for a reason.

He invited himself in, taking advantage of the fact that Naruto's brain was still too sleep-addled to allow him to react, and went to sit down on a chair. He then raised his gaze toward his former teammate who was still standing beside the open door, staring at him like he was some sort of aberration.

And, in some way, he was. Until now, the Uchiha had had to be dragged to only come and share a 'meal' at Ichikaru's and had absolutely refused to step through this same door - which Naruto finally thought of closing.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you and all," he said with hesitation, and it amazed Sasuke how genuine he could be when saying this even after all those past years of betrayal. "But what the hell?"

"I need to learn more about fûinjutsu," Sasuke admitted after a long silence, his eyes sweeping over the room. It was a lot less dirty and messy than he'd imagined. And, what surprised him even more, what little of mess there was was as much composed of pieces of clothing and empty ramen cups than of scrolls and books. He turned his attention back to Naruto who had his eyebrows raised in surprise. But then his face split into a too large, gleeful grin.

"Oh, really?"

Sasuke was beginning to think he was missing something. Something big. Like the mass of ramen Naruto had eaten since his birth big.

"Kakashi..." he began, only to stop when Naruto exclaimed: "Aah!"

Like it explained everything.

Now Naruto was looking at him like a fox might look at a trapped rabbit. "You know, I should just rub it in your pretty face," he said after a while, then shrugged. "But, well. There'll be time for it later. For now..."

Without bothering to put a shirt on, he walked to the bookcase in the corner that was spilling with scrolls, books and other pieces of paper. Sasuke felt his frown deepen, not liking the way this was going.

He uncrossed his arms to catch a scroll Naruto threw in his direction without warning. He glanced down at it, then looked back up to meet Naruto's eyes.

"Well, open it," the blond man said, gesturing for him to do so.

Sasuke tried very hard to keep his face neutral. "It's sealed, moron," he retorted.

"And?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow like he didn't see the point.

Not liking the way he was being played with - first the librarians, then Kakashi, then Naruto, it had to stop - Sasuke aimed the scroll at his former teammate's head. Naruto didn't even bother to dodge and caught the roll of paper when it bounced off his skull, seemingly unconcerned. But then, looking Sasuke right in the eye and wearing a shit eating grin, he positioned his fingers on the scroll like he was placing them on a flute...

And then unrolled it like measuring tape.

That made Sasuke pause. If possible, Naruto's grin turned even wider, and more than a little smug. "You, Uchiha Sasuke," he declared, "don't know the first thing about seals."

What made the most part of Naruto's newfound sealing talent, Sasuke soon discovered, was actually his lack of basic knowledge about fûinjutsu. It would have been strange for anyone else, but it was Naruto they were talking about, the same shinobi as the boy that had mastered Kage Bunshin while he still couldn't perform the most basic shadow clone technique. Not knowing the simplest rules of sealing, he was never stopped by anything as trivial as 'not technically / logically possible' and was never worried about wasting tons of chakra while trying something new or forcing his way through jutsu's and physical laws.

The first scroll he'd read about the subject had been one written by his mother - Sasuke had asked him to repeat that, not aware that the idiot had ever had a mother, and had been rewarded by a look of perplexity then a sly smile when Naruto had instead dropped the following bomb:

"Yeah, my mom. You know, the Fourth's wife. The mother of his child. Want me to draw you a picture?"

He hadn't asked about more precisions after this, only glaring suspiciously at the lengthening hair on Naruto's head, now understanding why it was the blond man had apparently forgotten what scissors were.

Still. Apparently, Naruto's long lost mother had come from a country expert in sealing techniques, had taught the Fourth all he had ever known about the subject, and had left high level theories written in scrolls Naruto had stumbled upon because Tsunade had consulted them in the hopes of healing an ANBU whose mission had turned awry and had mentioned who had written them in passing. Curious, Naruto had thrown a glance at the complicated text, had ended up drawn into it and still hadn't gone out.

He also had healed the ANBU two days later even if the most gifted shinobis had been poring over his case for a month beforehand.

"I just... get it, you know?" he said once, correctly interpreting the frown on Sasuke's brow as one of frustration at being unable to understand the nooks of the most simple techniques and symbol combinations while Naruto sealed things away like Suigetsu swam. Like it was as natural as breathing. Following the metaphor, fûinjutsu was a bit too much like apnea for Sasuke's tastes.

Which wasn't very good on his pride.

There were two main methods to master sealing techniques. Either you could learn the jutsus one by one, each one for a precise use - like Tenten who had studied every fûinjutsu pertaining to sealing weapons of all kind, like Sasuke himself had memorized some, never wondering how it worked once he'd gotten the expected result. Or you could deconstruct the techniques until you knew how every last line, symbol, piece of writing and hand seal acted and afterwards used them at will in new compositions, which offered you infinite possibilities.

Naruto, of course, liked to play and had thrown himself into the second one.

Sasuke still wondered how the so-called idiot had mastered all these concepts so rapidly and handled them so easily. He had never been one for exhaustive learning, which could explain why he hadn't been tempted by the first method, but still. It was strange.

"Think of a seal like a bowl of ramen," the blond man explained one evening. He had dragged them both to Ichikaru for 'a well-deserved bowl of heaven' after hours of studying which, in Sasuke's opinion, had led to nothing.

"Like that, all ready and steaming, it's perfect," Naruto went own, reverently cupping his steaming bowl between his hands. "Why? Because it has all the ingredients put together exactly like they are meant to be. Separated, they would only be sad elements - dry noodles, empty water, tasteless greens." He mournfully shook his head, then perked up when he added: "But once they are correctly joined..."

He broke off to throw a gleeful smile at Sasuke who couldn't quite believe his ex-teammate was using such a comparison, but wasn't really surprised either.

"They are cooked," Naruto went on, oblivious to his skepticism. "Which means most elements have to undergo a slight change to accord themselves with others, to form a whole instead of acting each one by themselves."

"So fûinjutsu and ramen are models for teamwork," another voice spoke up and Sasuke turned around to see Kakashi seated on the stool to his left, lazily raising a hand in greeting and asking for a bowl. He noticed the suspicious glare the Uchiha was throwing in his direction and smiled: "Go on, go on, don't interrupt yourself on my account."

"Right," Naruto agreed. He had picked up and split his chopsticks, ready to dive into his bowl, but paused to point them in Sasuke's direction. "Now, you can notice there are some basic elements that always come back, like broth or noodles, without which there would be no ramen!"

He gasped and flailed his arms, probably trying to render a dramatic effect.

"Those must always be used. Others, on the contrary, come and go according to what kind of ramen you want to cook. There are even some rare ingredients, very difficult to integrate and cook correctly, that you only get to use to make a very special brand of ramen. Those are the best. Like old Teuchi's masterpieces here," he concluded.

At that, the cook threw a smile in Naruto's direction. "Who knew I had the makings to be a ninja?" he jokingly said.

"I did!" Naruto exclaimed, raising the hand holding his chopsticks in the air. "You're the best, old man!" Then, turning to Sasuke: "So yeah. Seals are like ramen. Obvious, isn't it?"

Sasuke threw him a blank stare.

"... Or not."

Sasuke drew the last line, black ink on white paper, then raised his brush, wondering if he could put it away.

"Finished?"

Naruto leaned above his shoulder and for a second, Sasuke felt like a child again, drawing his first letters with Itachi watching, ready to correct or encourage him - or with his father's stern presence at his back, which always tented to turn his characters a little bit wobbly.

"Mh," Naruto hummed, and even if Sasuke wasn't looking at him, he knew the way he'd probably tilted his head to the side, slightly pouting. "Not bad. But something's missing. It's like... Kakashi without his mask or something."

After confiscating every single scrolls on the subject, scrolls Sasuke hadn't even gotten to glance at with his Sharingan - which, with the associated photographic memory, would've came really handy if it hadn't been blocked as a 'precaution' - Naruto had given him a situation and was now expecting him to create the correct seal to seal away clothes, of all things. Sasuke frowned at what he'd come up with, then dipped his brush in the ink pot to add a series of simple symbols at the tip of the rays expanding from the centre.

"Good," Naruto approved, but added before Sasuke could relax: "Now it's like Lee without his leg and arm weights. There is still something missing, but it's more discreet, only it's going to kick your ass if you try it like that."

Apparently, Naruto hadn't given up on the crazy analogies. Pressing his lips together, Sasuke added a circle in the centre of the seal and a character at the corner of the drawing to signal he was adding a hand seal.

"That's an idea," Naruto said slowly after a while. "But it's like Sakura bitch slapping you whereas she could throw you through the wall. It makes you gather a lot of power and not even use the tenth of it."

Sasuke tried not to let frustration creep over him, unrolled the paper scroll he was working on to free enough blank space to redraw his first attempt. He thought for a while, then added something else.

"Shino fighting with spiders," Naruto commented with a serious nod instead of simply saying it wasn't the right combination. "It won't be pretty."

A refrained sigh, more unrolling, another copy, another try.

"Kiba patting a cat."

The problem was, with all the knowledge Naruto had already crammed his brain and eyes with, and this without real concern about order, Sasuke was not short on possibilities. But his frustration tended to make him forget what the characteristics of each one were and why exactly they weren't the best suited for the present situation. His ex-teammate's stupid comments didn't help.

"Maito Gai wearing black!" Naruto exclaimed when seeing his last attempt, flailing his arms.

Sasuke broke his brush in two without meaning to. "Enough!" he growled, pushing the table and scroll away. "I don't even see how it's helping. Teach me something useful that can be used in a fight for a change! Idiot."

Naruto's answer was to violently thrust a finger on his forehead. "You didn't ask for fighting techniques, you asked for knowledge about aftereffects and consequences, you bastard! How can you hope to get them if you don't even know how a simple seal works in the first place?" Another thrust. Naruto's eyes were blazing. "There is no textbook answer, especially not for a forbidden jutsu as complex as Orochimaru's curse seal. And you call me an idiot?"

Sasuke finally reacted and pushed Naruto away, and did not think about Itachi as he rubbed his forehead where his former teammate had violently poked him.

"Well, that seal didn't look so complicated," he mumbled, remembering the simple circle and the three commas. "And you don't let me look at anything more than basic fûinjutsu."

Naruto indeed had taken up on sealing almost all of the scrolls on fûinjutsu depending on their difficulty and complexity - which was why he had confiscated almost all of them from the library in the first place. He scoffed, crossing his arms. "Well, if you can't open a scroll, it's obviously because you don't know enough about sealing techniques for what it contains. Like I'll let an amateur like you play with five elements seals or three symbols ones."

He snorted.

"As for Orochimaru's curse seal being 'simple', it was only on the surface, dumb ass. Or must I remind you that the guy bit you? If Kakashi's counter-seal failed, it's because it acted on the most apparent effects and couldn't do a thing about the others - you know, the ones of the mind-fuckery and craziness-inducing kind," he bit out, then softly added: "The most complex and powerful fûinjutsus are mostly invisible."

His expression darkened at that. Sasuke noticed how he subconsciously lifted his hand to his stomach and didn't comment.

"Anyway," Naruto added, shrugging his strange mood away. "You got to, like, look underneath the underneath. So back to work, young man!"

Naruto was really seeing too much of Iruka and Kakashi these days.

"You still could at least make me create seals that would be useful in a fight," Sasuke grouched, still sour over his inability to find the right combination.

"Okay, come with me then, asshole," Naruto barked, abruptly straightening. He went to pick up his vest and threw it over his shoulder. At Sasuke's interrogatively raised eyebrow, he gritted between his teeth: "Obviously, you need some serious ass kicking to stop bitching, so I'm gonna kick your ass, but not here because I've had enough of breaking the furnitures, and then you're going to get to work seriously and without complain, got it?"

Sasuke only glared. Naruto smirked.

"Unless you fear I'm going to make you bit the dust without even needing to try now that you saw just how awesome I am," he cockily said. "Chicken."

That sealed it, really.

Fighting at will with Naruto was one of the few (very few) things that made Sasuke's situation bearable and prevented him from entirely regretting ever coming back to Konoha. The whole village was wary of him, most shinobis looked at him like he was a poisonous snake (he always had to resist summoning one to make them get acquainted with the real deal) and the new council (the former was currently rotting away in a cell for Sasuke's utmost satisfaction) had tried to drown him under rules and limitations and interdictions in the name of security. The whole thing was wrapped in a pretty package they called 'probation period' and which had no expiration date.

Until the day Naruto would become Hokage and change the rules, that was.

But since he'd gotten out of prison and house arrest, and even if he still wasn't allowed to leave the village, there was no preventing him to train with Naruto - or, more exactly, there was no preventing them going at each other's throat when mature discussion wasn't a solution.

Which was 99,9% of the time.

The other shinobis had long since understood that the training ground they usually chose to pummel each other was to be permanently deserted and avoided - unless you had a dying wish and liked to be collateral damage.

Naruto had gotten better, there was no doubt about it, but most of all he still fought like nothing else existed at the moment, like his life depended on it even when it was supposed to only be a training spar. And there was nothing more thrilling for Sasuke than an opponent ready to gut you only because you were ready to gut him given the chance. Being the centre of Naruto's murderous attention and universe was quite exhilarating. That, and the blond shinobi was still the most surprising ninja, always readapting his fighting style and adding new things - not always successful ones - in the hopes it would give him an advantage, which prevented their daily fights to become dull and boring.

And which is why Sasuke was and wasn't surprised when, right in the middle of their fight, Naruto formed a series of hand seals he had painstakingly put together himself not two hours earlier then added a last one - serpent, of course, Sasuke should have thought about it - before sweeping out his leg and punching him in the hip when Sasuke jumped to avoid it. The Uchiha threw a set of shurikens to untangle himself and flipped away to assess the situation.

And had to abruptly grip his pants when they began slipping down his hips.

He raised his head to glare at Naruto's suddenly mirthful expression. The imbecile had sealed away his belt.

"Soo," Naruto drawled, his voice trembling with badly repressed laughter. "You're at a disadvantage, now. What are you going to do?"

With a little bit of luck, the idiot had even added a lock to the seal, which would make it impossible for Sasuke to release it even if he found out how. He frowned, cursing the fact that he couldn't use the Sharingan to make the moron regret this and trying to find a way to react when he heard a strangled sound behind him. Whirling around, he caught sight of Sakura standing at the edge of the training ground, hand covering her mouth and a little red in the face. But the color creeping up on her cheeks had nothing to do with the blush that her younger self would have sported at seeing Uchiha Sasuke on the verge of losing his clothes. No - and Sasuke was horrified when he noticed he almost wished it was - what made her look like she was choking was the laughter she was vainly trying to hold back.

Sasuke's glare apparently didn't work like it should have since she simply let it burst out in reaction, ending up bent in two she was laughing to hard.

"See?" An arm fell heavily on his shoulders. A second later, Naruto squeaked and barely dodged the kunai Sasuke aimed at his guts in defense. He raised his hands in a placating gesture and added: "Every sealing technique can be useful in a fight. You only have to know how to use it."

A series of hand seals and the belt reappeared in his hands.

"Give that back," Sasuke snapped, hating the fact he still had to hold his pants to preserve his decency.

Naruto only threw him that sharp grin of his and challenged: "Make me."

This time, the Uchiha growled: "That's not a game, moron."

"Yes it is," Naruto gleefully retorted. "'Cause you gotta catch me first."

And with that he darted away.

The silence that fell one the training ground was heavy, like it always was after huge catastrophes.

"You know," Sakura said once she had mastered her laughter. "It's nice to see you acting a little bit normal, for once." She remained unfazed by the cold glare Sasuke threw in her direction and smiled. "When you're finished, can you drag Naruto with you to the sushi bar? It's been a while since we've dined together."

She didn't wait for his answer and turned away with a wave.

"Oh, and if you want, I could help you with a thing or two. Not like I'm a specialist or anything, but several fûinjutsus can come in handy for medical purposes. And since Naruto's not the most orthodox of teachers, it can be good to get another point of view."

She threw him a smirk above her shoulder. Why was it everyone had stolen his favorite expression? "But try and get decent first. I wouldn't want any old patient to die of nosebleed when you come to the hospital."

With that she disappeared, leaving Sasuke alone with his falling pants and wounded pride.

That was it. He was going to kill them all.

Epilogue

Finally, after months - years - of teaching, came the day to draw a conclusion about Orochimaru's curse seal.

"So, considering all these facts, the number of times you relied on the seal and the way it got sucked out of your body, you can conclude that the consequences of it will amount to...?"

"... Nothing."

"Very good," Naruto grinned, and looked like he was tempted to pat him on the head like a good puppy.

Sasuke was Not Amused. "You mean," he slowly said, "that instead of telling me right there and then that I didn't need to worry about anything, you make me suffer months - years - of dumb so-called learning and training so that I could find it out by myself."

"Well, it wasn't that obvious, was it?" Naruto replied, not caring he was on the verge of getting his future Hokage robes burned to a crisp. "But you should have known. Your brother was a kick-ass ninja, after all."

Sasuke glared at his former teammate and wished looks could kill. Oh, wait. They could. When no bloody fûinjutsu was blocking his Sharingan...

"And you learned some awesome techniques too," Naruto reminded him.

Sasuke snorted. For sure, he was now able to seal away any kind of food, weapons and clothes in his sleep.

He had to admit the technique about the last ones could come in handy in certain situations. You know, when clothes were becoming very offending and had to disappear at once or get ripped off. Yeah. That sort of situation.

"But," Naruto added, and the change in his tone caught Sasuke's attention, making him look back up toward his face. "If I were you, I would be more interested in the seal blocking my eyes, you know."

Sasuke narrowed said eyes.

"Who d'ya think made the seal Kakashi used back then?" Naruto asked with a smile sporting too sharp teeth.

By then, Sasuke had to refrain from shaking the idiot to get answers at once and coolly looked at him, one eyebrow nonchalantly raised. "Isn't it against the rules, making a seal that doesn't work?"

Internally, he was wildly wondering how it came he'd never noticed he could still use the Sharingan.

"Oh, but it does," Naruto retorted, squashing Sasuke's rising hopes until he added: "Mostly. See, since you specialize in genjutsu, fire ninjutsu and taijutsu, there was no need to make an excessively complex seal. You know, the kind that couldn't be bypassed even by the most powerful fûijutsu user. It would've been too troublesome, really."

"I see," Sasuke slowly said, trying not to let his hands shake and a little bit amazed in spite of himself by Naruto's ability to plot something like that. But then he noticed the Shikamaru-quote in his speech and understood better.

"So, you still want to stop wasting your time with those dumb so-called lessons?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke snorted, crossed his arms and disdainfully looked elsewhere.

"Great! Let's go eat find something to eat, then," Naruto exclaimed, correctly interpreting the answer. "Oh, and you're paying. You owe me, after all."

Sasuke followed and wondered if he could find a sealing technique that would seal Ichikaru's ramen away - and that Naruto wouldn't be able to counter for at least a day.

Perhaps with the help of Kakashi and Sakura. He was sure he could get them to help.

END

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