Just saw the finale (yes, I know, a few days late) and although I know Castle's alive and they'll get their happy ending at some point, I desperately needed to write something once I saw the look on Beckett's face at the very end. As Andrew Marlowe has said in his many interviews, this is an epic love story, and I wanted to capture both how much Kate Beckett loves her husband-to-be and how destroyed her world would be without him in it.
"Every fairy tale has them — terrible trials that only the worthy can transcend. But we can't give up. That's the deal — we want the happy ending, we can't give up." –Richard Castle
This is supposed to be your special day. You and the love of your life are finally going to commit to spending the rest of your lives together. You're wearing your mother's wedding dress, his mother's earrings. People are gathered on the lawn for the ceremony. Everything is ready. This is supposed to be a dream come true.
Instead, you're in a nightmare you can't wake up from. Castle's car is on the side of the road, engulfed in flames, and you're somehow too grief-stricken to fall apart. Instead of screaming and sobbing, all you can do is stare at the car with tears in your eyes, and wonder how this is happening. He's supposed to be marrying you right now. You're finally supposed to get your fairy tale ending. Fairy tales don't end in flames and broken dreams.
You vaguely notice the arrival of firefighters, but you know they're too late. They tackle the flames anyway, but you're too busy reliving his last words to you. I love you. Could he have known it would be your last conversation? You told him that you loved him too, but why didn't you add more? There is so much you have left to tell him, so many more experiences you need to share with him.
Suddenly, you realize someone is trying to get your attention. A firefighter informs you that they can't find a body in the car. Okay, you think. That's a detail about the crash. But you don't want to focus on the crash. You want to hear Castle's words again and again.
There's no body in the car. His body couldn't have completely burned up by now, which means….
"He's alive?" you ask, hope sneaking back into your heart. Could he still be alive? Can you still get your happy ending? Is the most amazing man in the world still living and breathing? Is he still alive?
You find out that they can't find a body anywhere. It's almost as if, the police officers and firefighters tell you, someone just left a burning car on the side of the road.
He's alive. He's alive. Someone took him and set his car on fire, but he's alive!
Someone took him and set his car on fire. Someone kidnapped your fiancé while he was on his way to marry you. Castle is gone. This is a deserted area. There's almost no chance that any witnesses saw the abduction, and you have no idea how to find him.
You hear more cars pulling up, and you're suddenly surrounded by your father and Lanie and Martha and Ryan and Espo and Alexis. You turn to the young woman who's supposed to already be your step-daughter and, wrapping your arms around her, tell her that her father wasn't in the car, and that he's still alive somewhere.
Hours later, you're sitting together in the living room trying to figure out what happened. Well, Ryan, Espo, Lanie, and Alexis are. You're thinking about the 300 people who were told the wedding was off because the groom had been in an accident. You're thinking about the caterer and photographer and musicians who packed up and left. You're thinking about the wedding cake that's sitting in the kitchen, because the caterer didn't want to take back a cake that was already for Kate and Rick. You're thinking about the dress and the earrings upstairs, because you couldn't wear them anymore. You're thinking about how you were so happy just a few hours ago.
But mostly, you're thinking about him. Are his abductors hurting him? Is he being tortured for information or money? Are they starving him? Is he scared? Is he thinking of you, just as you thought of him to get through your own abduction? Wherever he is, can he feel your love and concern?
Your father is sitting next to you with his arms around you. Does he feel every day like you felt when you first got to the crash, like his entire life is over? Martha is on your other side, holding your hand, not speaking. Alexis seems determined to focus on saving her father so that she doesn't have to face her grief and terror. And your friends are trying to come up with any theory, their pale faces and red eyes indicating how important this is to them.
And you're grateful to everyone for being here. You can see their suffering, and it's another reason you hope Castle comes back to you soon. But you can't help but think that after some time, if nothing happens, they will be able to continue. Their lives will be changed for the worse, but they will still have lives to live.
Your life, on the other hand, is intertwined with Rick Castle's. He's your one and done. He's your fairy tale ending. He's supposed to be the first person you see in the morning and last you see at night, for the rest of your life. Your life makes no sense, has no meaning, if he's not there to share it with you. You, who once wished he would just get out of your precinct, can no longer live without him. He has to come back to you, because the world is a darker place without him in it, because so many people need and love him, because he is your other half. He has to come back to you because he's the one who gets you through your grief, because he sees it as his job to protect you and take care of you and make you smile, because your heart is in a thousand pieces and you don't know how to put it back together without his help.
He has to come back to you because this day is supposed to be everything you've both dreamed of, and it's turned into your worst nightmare.
Thanks for reading! I'm planning on writing at least one more chapter, about Castle's return, so stay tuned.