A/N: This is a fic I wrote after one of me and my sister's stories we wrote. It's a letter from Kurama to Hiei after he has died. He laid a bundle of eggs and they ripped his insides and killed him. Also, Kurama and Hiei have a daughter named Adara whose only 3 years old. She's mentioned in here somewhere. Very dramatic and angsty. It made me cry writing it.



Love, Hiei, you have no idea how much I miss you... This never-ending pain feels like a knife being twisted into my heart. I feel so incredibly guilty for what I have done to you. This letter is not easy to write...saying that you're actually gone just makes it more real, though I wish it were just an awful nightmare. I keep your body close to mine, hoping to feel your heartbeat with my own...nothing. It's silent, no pulse, no Hiei... I wrap my arms around your petit body protectively, holding you lovingly...I get nothing back. Just a limp, dead Hiei...unmoving, un-breathing, un-living. Why can't you be here with me? Why did you have to leave me? Why do I have to be alone once again? WHY HIEI, WHY?! No...I blame it on myself, I am the one who killed you. Hiei, I thought you knew I couldn't live without you! I thought I told you not to leave! ...I do not know what will become of me anymore. I am afraid...afraid, almost certain I am going to harm myself. Even as I write this, I hold your body close to mine, hoping that you will hold me back, let me know you are safe in my arms once again. The others, they worry about me, but I do not care... I do not care what will become of me, there is nothing left for me to live for, nothing left to keep me going. Hiei, we all grieve for you...Yuusuke, Koenma, Kuwabara, Keiko, Botan...and your sister. Sweet Yukina. She is heart-broken ever since she heard of your passing. All she can do is what I do...sit in a room all by herself and sob. She tries to cry out her misery, but the tears never end. The pain never ends. Will you ever come back? Ever come back to your friends? Your family? ...your fox? Ever since you have left your body behind, I have cried myself to sleep. I am not able to let go of your body though your soul has already abandoned me. I would give anything to have you back...absolutely anything... I almost gave myself to Karasu. I thought about suicide...I tried to do it...Kuronue stopped me saying I'd be trapped in purgatory. I went to Karasu and told him to end it for me. They didn't let him...my so-called "friends" wouldn't let my suffering fade. And Adara...I have no idea what to say to her. She asks why I cry...I cannot possibly tell her the truth. What would she think of me if she knew I killed you...her own father? Our own daughter will grow up without you...possibly without me...she could become an orphan... And the eggs, I do not know how to take care of them! They will more than likely die without you! Koenma says he can possibly bring you back...the only downfall is it will take months...even years...I can hardly stand life without you for 3 days. I just don't know what to do with myself. This pain...it's the worst kind of torture imaginable...far worse than even Karasu..... My mind is filled with different thoughts...I try to think of going on with my life without my little fire demon here by my side, but it just amplifies the burning, torturous pain in my heart. Though I have not yet decided how to punish myself, I will not hesitate once I think of it. I just wish you knew what losing you has truly done to me Hiei... Forever your Fox, Kurama My love for you will never die.....

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So how was it? I hope you liked it 'cuz I worked hard on it. Please let me know what you think. If you have questions, e-mail me at sith_kurama_chan@yyhmail.com By-the-way, my sister is Ryuei Jaganshi. She does pretty good work so feel free to read her fics, she'd appreciate it I'm sure.