"I'm afraid I have some very bad news."

Rachel squirmed in her seat; she's had a bad day already! Just thinking about what Kev had said last night…a future, him and her. It's all she wanted and she went and said no. Why? Because she was scared, scared of relationships always going wrong, always ending up down the drain. She loved Kevin of course she did and that was mainly the reason she pushed him away. She couldn't hurt him. Then he hadn't turned up for work that morning and she felt her world crashing down around her, again. She had hurt him, she said no. She kept wondering what he was doing, where he was. Thinking maybe he didn't want to see her again…that thought touched a nerve. Rachel decided she needed up give up thinking, it wasn't doing her any favours. But where was he, why wasn't he here? Then another thought entered her head, one she didn't like at all….

"I'm sorry to have to tell you, but in the early hours of this morning, Kevin was attacked outside a pub on Kennedy Street…"

Rachel's heart stopped, she couldn't breathe and she felt sick. This was all her fault…

"He was taken to the Royal Oldham by ambulance. He had quite a nasty blow to the head and he was unconscious for a while but according to the doctor he's awake now. He's going to be alright, no long term damage." Gill explained.

Rachel wasn't really listening, as far as she was concerned Kevin was in hospital, he'd been hurt and she wasn't there, in fact she was indirectly responsible. Admitting defeat, she let a single tear run down her face; this was soon followed by another and another. She jumped up out of her seat and ran for the door, only to be chased by Gill.

"What's wrong, hey Sherlock?" she sounded slightly concerned. Unlike Godzilla, Rachel thought. It wasn't true of course, she'd been there for Rachel through everything, she'd been supportive and kind and actually, she'd got her through it all…

Rachel looked at her Boss but she couldn't quite look her in the eye. Her throat had dried up and she was unable to speak, it all just came out as quiet sobs. The door opened behind her, as she turned around to see who it was, she was grabbed into a hug. "You okay, kid?" Janet asked lightly.

Janet. The last time Rachel checked she hated her guts so why was she suddenly being all nice? She wasn't the only one who hated Rachel, Rachel hated Rachel too. It was her selfish decision that hurt Kevin. Not selfish, she reminded herself, I was trying to do what's best for him…look how that had turned out.

"Rachel?" Janet interrupted her thoughts. Rachel shook her head slowly, answering her question. This only released more tears into the wild!

"I'm so sorry Rach…" Janet said, catching the rain falling off her friend's cheeks.

"What?" Rachel finally managed to say, "No I'm sorry I was the one that…" she stopped as yet more cries escaped her lips.

"You really love him don't you?" Janet asked, not that she needed to, it was obvious to an idiot let alone a detective! Rachel nodded, covering her mouth with her hand as if to apologise for that as well. "Rach, it's fine love. Come on mate calm down, he's alright."

Taking a step back, Rachel shook her head, "It's my fault Jan…"

Now Janet shook her head, "Don't beat yourself up. I know you and you will so don't."

"I need to see him," Rachel said looking over to Gill for permission.

Gill looked at her watch, "I'll drive," she confirmed, guiding her DCs to the door.

Xxxxxx

"DCI Murray here to see Kevin Lumb." Gill announced at the reception desk. They didn't need to know who she was, it was just habit, she was so used to having to use it to see anyone that it just slipped out! They followed the nurse up what seemed like a never-ending flight of stairs up to a ward they all knew from various cases.

As they approached Kev's room, Rachel froze and let the other two go first. She felt so guilty, so upset, so angry with herself that she didn't know what the hell she was going to say! There wasn't anything she could do to make it better…or was there?

She stood at the end of his bed whilst Gill and Janet said 'hello' and made a bit of a fuss. The tears started rolling again as she caught sight of his face; a black eye, several cuts around his right ear, bruises down the side of his face…

He looked up noticing Rachel, she looked so small and sad, like a little girl who's lost her teddy. He didn't like to see her like that but he was still so happy to see her, after last night he assumed she'd want nothing to do with him…but she was here. Carefully, to avoid as little pain as possible, he reached a hand out for her.

She walked forward slowly to the side of his bed and took his hand in hers. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed as she sat down on the edge of the bed, "I made the worst mistake of my life Kevin, I'm really sorry," she looked him in the eye, "I love you."

He looked at her, a smile forming on his lips. He sat forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. The pain he felt disappeared when he felt her hug him back. "I would offer you a kiss Bailey but the bastard cut my lip…" he laughed, leaning back on the bed.

"You two finished being all lovey-dovey yet?" Gill asked impatiently.

Rachel looked up, she'd completely forgotten they were there. "Sorry Ma'am!" she replied awkwardly.

"Kevin you need some sleep kid, sorry to prise you away Rach but so do you!" she said kindly.

Rachel nodded, not really wanting to leave him alone but she knew Gill was right. She leant over and kissed Kevin on the cheek in between the cuts and bruises, "I'll be back tomorrow, first thing baby," she whispered.

As they made their way out, Rachel glanced at Janet nervously, "Are you alright with, you know, this?" she asked.

Janet linked arms with her, "It's fine Rach, I have no problem with it, just don't shag him at my house next time!"