CHILI BOWL
By Justin-EllieandJoel4ever
Jackson, WY
After being out all morning and afternoon on a hunting trip to bring in deer, rabbits and squirrels for the Jackson pantry, Ellie and Joel had decided to go for an evening stroll together to wind down. Per usual, Ellie had bagged most of the game because, after all, she was the best shot in town. She's even a better shot than Joel is now. That morning she'd taken down a 10 point buck from fifty yards with the El Diablo gun that Joel had been teaching her how to use. The gun was almost bigger than her, but she was already a crack shot with it. He'd taught her well.
Just a few weeks earlier Joel had lost to her on the final shot in the annual Jackson Shooting Contest and he had even gotten his ass whipped by her in a game of Darts in the backyard the day after the shooting contest. Both Tommy and Ellie had been giving him shit about it ever since. But, secretly, he loved getting ribbed by Ellie. It meant that she was happy, so he was happy too.
They walked along the empty street side by side in comfortable silence enjoying the cool evening and the sites to see of the uninhabited section of Jackson. None of the townsfolk ever went there. Neither Ellie nor Joel had ever been to this part of town before either, so it was all new to the both of them. It was a nice quiet walk and they both loved each other's company so for a while at least, all was good in the World for Ellie and Joel.
There hadn't been an attack on Jackson for several months now. But, they both still carried guns just in case. Joel taught Ellie to always be prepared. She was carrying his El Diablo gun tucked inside her jeans in the small of her back. It was heavy, but she took comfort in knowing it was there and she was prepared if something happened.
Suddenly, Ellie stopped and stared off at a building to their right and asked Joel a question.
"Hey Joel…what's 'Bowling' mean?"
"You've never heard of a Bowling Alley Ellie?"
"Nope. Can't say I ever have. What do they do? Sell bowls out back in the alley?"
Joel let out a chuckle and said, "No Ellie, they don't sell bowls out back in the alley. It's a game that Sarah and me and Tommy use to play once in a while back before it all went to shit. Sarah loved it."
"How do you play it?"
Joel fiddled with his beard a bit trying to figure out just how he was going to explain bowling to Ellie.
"Well, you'd roll a bowling ball down a long wooden floor lane to try and knock over what they called bowling pins standing up at the other end of the lane." Joel said. "You'd get two tries to knock down ten pins. If you knocked down all ten pins with the first ball, it was called a strike. If it took both tries to knock all the pins down it was called a spare. If you didn't knock all the pins down with both tries, it was called an open frame."
Ellie looked at him intently and in disbelief she finally said, "Pffft...You guys were fucked up back then, weren't you."
Joel let out a snort and said, "Cute."
"Can we go in and look around a bit Joel?"
"Sure. But not for too long. It's getting close to supper time squirt."
Ellie smiled and took off running for the Bowling Alley before Joel even had a chance to start walking.
"Slow down Ellie! I ain't as young as I use to be, you know!"
"Tell me something I didn't already know, old man!" Ellie yelled back over her shoulder.
When they'd both made it inside, it wasn't as run down as Joel had thought it would be for as long as it had been out of action. It had to be at least 20 years since the bowling alley had been used. In fact, the bowling alley was in surprisingly good shape, all things considered. A couple of the lanes were even usable, much to Joel's surprise. There were even a few bowling balls in decent shape, although they looked a bit old and brittle, and there looked to be at least ten bowling pins that were serviceable. So that gave Joel an idea.
"Hey squirt! You wanna throw a frame?"
"Well, moron, I don't have any idea what that means. But if you're talking about playing a game, yeah, I'm in! Not like I don't whoop your ass at just about everything anyway. So what do I have to lose? You remember the dart game we played a while back don't you? Oh yeah, how could you forget. You got your ASS WHOOPED by me as usual, bitch!"
"One of these days Ellie, one of these days."
"Sure, old man. I'm waiting with bated breath."
"Do you even know what that means Ellie?"
"Course not. Doesn't matter. Point's been made. Effectively pored salt into the wound and now I'm moving on."
Joel chuckled and crossed his arms. "So do you wanna try or not?"
"Yesssss Joel! Geez Louis!"
"Shall we make it interesting again like we did with the Darts game?" Joel said.
"I don't know… What are you in desperate need to fork over to me this time?"
"Ain't happening. How about loser fixes supper and washes the dishes just like with the darts bet?"
"Your ON… chump!"
As Joel and Ellie set to work cleaning up the best lane they could find and gathering four bowling balls and ten decent bowling pins for their EPIC SHOWDOWN, all Joel could think was, 'I got this in the bag! The little twirp hasn't even seen a Bowling Alley, let alone ever bowled before! I might have sucked and Sarah could whip my ass, but at least I know how to bowl! I actually think I might beat her at something for a change!'
When they'd finally gathered the tools of the trade, cleaned everything up a bit and Joel had adequately explained the rules to Ellie, Joel stepped up to the line to throw his first ball. Ellie had deferred first shot to Joel because, as she said, "Losers ALWAYS go first."
"You'll be going first next time squirt."
"Pffft….yeah… whatever, old man."
He was as giddy as a school girl at a Justin Bieber concert with the thought that he may actually win for a change. Well, as giddy as big grumpy old Joel could be, anyway. Of course he hid his excitement with the famous Joel frown so that Ellie wouldn't notice. He was good at that. But Ellie could read him like a book now and she knew that he was excited.
Joel grabbed one of the old brittle bowling balls, set up, and then walked down to the foul line to release the ball. Thump. The ball hit the lane about 3 feet down from the foul line and started to roll….right towards the left gutter.
"Son of a BITCH!" Joel yelled as the ball tumbled over into the gutter and rolled the rest of the way down the alley.
Joel dropped his head and shoulders and he heard Ellie behind him say, "Hey! I thought you were supposed to try and knock over some of the pins…Doofus!".
Joel turned around and flashed Ellie a bite me scowl and walked back to pick up his second ball. 'Nice job dumbass.' Joel thought. 'She's going to beat you for sure if pull that stunt again!'
He was actually a little nervous as he set up to throw his last shot. He had to chuckle to himself-he couldn't let Ellie see it-to stifle his nervousness a bit. 'What the hell's wrong with me! I'm actually starting to sweat! It's not like she won't add this loss to the long list of other things she's beaten me at. OOOOH yes she will!'
He walked up to the line and threw the ball. Thump. The ball landed about the same distance from the foul line as his first ball did and, to his surprise and excitement, it was actually rolling down the center of the lane towards the pins! He watched as the ball hit just to the right of the no. 1 pin and proceeded to plow through the remaining pins knocking down a total of nine of them and leaving only the no. 10 pin on the far right of the lane next to the gutter.
Joel skipped a bit, clapped his hands together once and turned to walk back towards Ellie with a big grin on his face. "Beat that squirt." He said as he sat down next to her with the shit eating grin still plastered on his face.
Ellie let out a snort and laughed at Joel because seeing him react this way was just too non-typical of him and just way to damn funny to boot. "What the HELL was that hop, skip, clap shit Joel. Don't ever do that again! I just about lost my lunch."
Joel stuck his tongue out at her and she returned the favor.
Joel got up, went down to the end of the lane and set ten pins back up for her. He then walked back, motioned with his hand to Ellie that the lane was now hers and he set back down to watch.
"You're up squirt."
Ellie stood up, grabbed a brittle old bowling ball and stepped up to deliver her first throw. She turned around with a smile on her face and said, "So, let me get this right, old man. All I gotta do is knock down all the pins with two shots and I win?"
"Yep. Break a leg squirt."
Ellie turned around, lowered her shoulders, pulled the ball up close to her chin, said, "I totally got this.", and started walking toward the foul line. When she got there, she stopped, brought the ball back behind her with her right hand and heaved it about ten feet over the foul line down the lane.
WHAM! the ball hit the center of the lane and to Ellie's delight and Joel's damnation; it was actually rolling toward the center of the pins! It hit the center no. 1 pin head on and when it had finished plowing through the pins, only two were left standing. The dreaded 7/10 split. The two pins farthest away from each other on opposite sides of the lane setting closest to the gutter.
"FUCK!" Ellie yelled.
Behind her, Joel jumped up from his seat and barreled out "YES!"
Ellie turned around, folded her arms across her chest and shot him a look that could kill a thousand Clickers. Joel composed himself and under his breath he told her, "Sorry squirt. I lost myself there for a second." He turned around to sit back down and with a smile to himself he thought, 'I FINALLY freaking got her!'
Ellie would have to knock both pins down to beat him. At best, she could knock down only one of the pins to just tie him and then the bet would just be a wash. That was just as good as a win against her in his books. 'YES!'
Ellie walked back and picked up the brittle old bowling ball for her last shot. She had determination written in stone on her face. For some reason, Joel thought that Ellie looked a little smug for the near impossible shot she had in front of her. He started to sweat again.
Nervously he said "Good luck squirt!"
"Bite me old man."
Ellie didn't set up to throw her last ball or anything. She just walked straight up to the foul line and stood there holding the ball. She looked back over her shoulders and flashed a mischievous smile at Joel.
'Oh shit.' Joel thought. 'Here it comes.' The usual Ellie Miracle Moment that would send him home in utter defeat with his tail tucked between his legs was about to happen. And there wasn't a DAMN thing he could do about it.
Ellie wrapped both hands around the old bowling ball and bent over at the waste. She set the brittle old bowling ball on the lane just behind the foul line. She moved both of her hands to a position behind the bowling ball and gave it a little push. Then, she stood up, folded her arms across her chest, watched the ball rolling at a snail's pace down the center of the lane and waited, tapping her foot.
Joel started sweating a little harder as he watched the brittle old ball creep down the center of the lane. 'I'm fucked.' he thought. This girl was a FREAKING MIRACLE worker when it came to finding ways to whoop his ass.
But then he realized to himself, 'It's just one ball and there are two pins down there. And she rolled the ball down the center of the lane! She's got no chance of knocking both pins down. I'm FINALLY gonna fuckin win! HELL YEAH!'
As the old ball got closer to the two pins, about ten feet to go Joel estimated, he saw that it was going to miss both pins rolling right down the center of the lane, so he started to celebrate in his mind. He started to think of how he was going to playfully rub it in Ellie's face about how he'd FINALLY beat her at something and how he would go about doing it gently so he wouldn't hurt her feelings.
But then, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Ellie start to move. And just like THAT, in the blink of his mind's eye, the imaginary celebration party going on in his mind blew up like one of Bill's damn nail bombs.
Ellie was crouched over in a shooter's stance with both of her hands wrapped tightly around his El Diablo gun. She had her right index finger on the trigger.
'Where the hell did that come from?' Joel thought. And then he remembered her taking down the buck with it earlier that morning. So she must have had it tucked in her jeans in the small of her back. She was always prepared. Just like he'd taught her.
BOOOM! the El Diablo went as she pulled the trigger and held on for dear life.
Joel focused on the brittle old bowling ball and saw it explode vertically down the center into two separate but equal jagged pieces. Both halves started to roll away from each other as the uneven weight dragged them in opposite directions and downward because the weight was now vertically off center. His eyes started to widen when he suddenly realized that each half was careening toward the opposite pin as though it were on a mission to bring Joel to shame and damnation in the name of Ellie. And when each half hit and knocked their respective pin off the opposite end of the lane and into the gutter, his jaw dropped.
"BOOOOSH!" Ellie yelled and tried to twirl the El Diablo around her finger like she'd seen some of the cowboys do in Joel's westerns. But the gun was just too damn big and she fumbled it and dropped it with a clang onto the floor of the lane. Ellie looked back over her shoulder with a nervous smile as she bent over to pick the big gun up and said, "Sorry Joel."
It didn't matter because Joel was off in Lala Land with his jaw dropped and his eyes wide and focused on the empty spaces at the end of the bowling lane where the two bowling pins SHOULD be, but weren't. He didn't even hear her drop the gun or her apology for dropping it. He thought he'd heard her yell her trademark celebratory phrase of BOOOOSH!, but he wasn't sure about that. He wasn't sure about much of anything anymore.
Well, he was sure of a few things; The World would spin, the Sun would come up tomorrow, and Ellie would whoop his ass at just about anything he could do. And that made him proud. Proud of her. Then Joel thought to himself, 'How in the HELL does she come up with these things!?'
Joel regained his composure, folded his arms across his chest and looked at Ellie with a you fucking did it to me…again frown on his face as he shook his head at her.
Ellie tucked the El Diablo back in her jeans and pulled her shirt back over it. She put her hands in her pockets and started kick/shuffling her way back towards Joel. She started whistling a tune that was vaguely familiar to Joel, but he just couldn't quite place it. As she walked passed Joel, Ellie looked up at him, flashed him a smile and just as she had gotten past him she started to sing/hum the tune instead of whistling it. She remembered it from the tape that Riley had made for her.
"Dum…dum…dum…dum. Another one bites the dust."
"Dum…dum…dum…dum. Another one bites the dust."
She couldn't remember the rest of the words, so she just hummed and whistled the rest of the tune.
Joel brought his right hand up, pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. 'DAMN she's good at rubbing things in!' he thought. 'The little twirp.' He turned to follow Ellie outside.
"DAMN that chili's going to taste good. Specially since I ain't making it. You are…loser!"
Joel just lowered his head and shook it. 'Another day, another ass whoopin.'
They both walked through the main entrance of the Bowling Alley and out into the street, Ellie whistling the in your face tune the whole way just to push the knife of defeat in a little deeper. Joel was just behind Ellie following her along like a good puppy dog should.
As they turned to walk toward home, Joel had finally mustard up the courage and said, "You know squirt. I will beat you at something someday. Just sayin."
Ellie stopped and turned around to look at Joel. "Oh, you're already a winner Joel."
"You don't say. At what?"
Ellie folded her arms across her chest and with a wry smile she said, "You're the UNDISPUTED Champion of being my every day Bitch Joel!"
Joel instantly got a oh you're gonna pay for that! grin on his face and said, "Why you little…" and took off at a sprint after her.
Ellie's eyes shot wide open when she saw Joel lunge for her. She let out a loud scream and started laughing as she turned and started running for her freaking life as fast as she could. She knew that if Joel caught her, he would tickle the ever luvin shit out of her, throw her over his shoulder and carry her, kicking, screaming and laughing the whole rest of the way home. And that would be embarrassing as hell!
Naturally, Joel didn't catch her. He did keep up with her most of the way home though. Which, at his age, was a small victory in itself.
Joel started to wear out at about the three quarter of the way home mark. He was losing ground on Ellie and she started to slow down a bit so he could keep up with her. She was still laughing and screaming the whole way and Joel was doing his own whooping and hollering too.
"I'm comin for ya Ellie! I'm gonna git ya! Better not slow down!"
"You better slow down, old man! Hate for you to have a heart attack and then I'd have to put you down!" Ellie said with a giggle as she ran.
They rounded the corner onto the street where their house was, panting, yelling and laughing at each other.
Tommy and Maria lived in the house next door to Ellie and Joel and sure enough, they were both sitting out on their front porch enjoying the cool evening air. Tommy and Maria both turned toward the commotion and when they saw who it was, they both started grinning.
"Oh Lord. What did she beat him at this time." Tommy said.
Maria didn't respond to Tommy. She just stood up pumping her fists in the air and yelled "Run Ellie RUN! GIRL POWER!"
With this piece of encouragement from Maria, Ellie turned around to face Joel and kept jogging backwards. She brought both of her hands up chest high, flipped Joel off with both hands and said "Yeah Joel…SUCK IT!" Then she turned around and kept running until she'd made it the rest of the way home ending up on their own front porch.
Joel stopped in front of Tommy and Maria's house, bent over at the waste and put his hands on his knees. He just couldn't run any farther. He was out of breath and desperately trying to find it.
He looked up towards Tommy and Maria setting on their front porch and said in-between labored breaths "Why…don't you… get that woman… of yours… under… control...Tommy?"
Tommy held his hands up in a defensive gesture, looked at Maria with wide eyes and then back to Joel and said "Holy shit Joel! I may be the younger brother, but at least I'm smart enough to know who MY boss is. Maybe one of these days when you wise the fuck up, you'll realize you're not the boss either." Tommy raised his index finger and pointed over to the little red-headed Hellcat standing over on Joel's front porch and said "She is!"
Standing with her arms crossed and leaning against one of the columns of the front porch, Ellie said with a snort "DAMN RIGHT! You tell him Tommy!"
Joel, still bent over and trying desperately to catch his breath, looked at Ellie standing there defiantly and brought his right hand up and flipped her off.
Tommy and Maria barreled out laughing. Typical Ellie and Joel. They always put on a good show.
Ellie, still waiting patiently on the front porch, bent over a little and started patting her hands on her thighs and whistling like she was trying to coax a stray puppy over to her.
"Cooome on boy! Heeere ya go boy! Thaaat a boy. Just a little bit further and your home. There's a good boy. Yes you are…."
That made Tommy and Maria almost fall out of their chairs from laughing so hard.
Joel, finally able to catch his breath, stood up a little straighter, and hearing Tommy and Maria laughing so hard, he looked over at them both and flipped them off too. They seemed to laugh even harder at that.
Joel slowly finished walking the final few feet to his and Ellie's house and when he'd finally made it up the few steps and onto their front porch, he turned and looked down at Ellie with a smile.
She walked over and put her arm around his waist and hugged him tightly. She bent her head back and looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye and returned his smile.
Joel brought his right hand up and ruffled her hair for good measure.
"Hey Joel..."
"What Ellie."
"Things happen, and we move on...Right Joel?"
He had told her that last Fall at the small grave with the teddy bear just outside the Dam. But before he could reply and ask her why she had asked him that, Ellie broke the embrace, brought her right hand back as far behind her as she could without actually turning and SMACKED Joel's ass as hard as she could. Then she let out a scream and ran laughing loudly through the front door and into the house.
The slap stung and he rubbed his butt to ease the sting a little. She'd slapped his ass so hard she'd almost knocked the big man off balance.
Behind him over on their own porch, Tommy and Maria almost fell out of their chairs laughing at what they had just witnessed Ellie do to Joel. When they'd finally regained some composure, Tommy yelled over to Joel, "See big brother! You're not the boss! Better learn to deal with it!"
Joel didn't even turn around to acknowledge Tommy. He just brought his left hand up and flipped him off over his shoulder.
Then, he gingerly walked his aching ass into the house to fix Ellie's chili supper. A bet is a bet.
House bitch...again.